The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

Archives for August 2012

“INtegration through ART” theme of Park Art Walk 2012

By

In a statement released today, the organizers of the annual Park Art Walk (PAW) announced a major change in the event’s focus.

“Thanks to funding from The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, in conjunction with a one-time gift from The Archons’ Initiative Fund, the 2012 Park Art Walk (PAW) will showcase art as it relates to the theme, INtegration through ART,” the statement read in part.

The new theme, which will be known as INtRT, will add a new dimension to the one-day, juried art exhibition, supporters say.

“For the past five years, PAW has done a wonderful job of showcasing the artistic expression of Park residents, but the art has had no defining thread. We believe that INtRT will give us a deeper understanding of ourselves and of our experiences…in life and in art,” said Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

At a press conference, Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, said the one-time gift from the Archons’ Initiative Fund was made “to encourage Animals to learn more about species other than their own, so that we can understand our differences and our similarities.”

INtRT’s emphasis will be on similarities rather than differences, according to Alouatta. “We are celebrating 30 years of Animal self-rule. It is a great achievement that could only have been brought about by some degree of integration. We want to celebrate that integration in the Park Art Walk,” he said.

The 6th annual Park ART Walk (PAW) will take place on Saturday, August 18, 2012 between the hours of 10:00 am and 7:00 pm. Showings will take place at participating art galleries, retail establishments, and at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. This year’s jury will include curators from the Tortoiseshell and Kipos Galleries.

Animal IQs fall after time spent with Humans: study

By

Animals achieve lower scores on intelligence tests after they have spent a significant length of time in the company of Humans, say the results of a study conducted by the Cognitive and Experimental Psychology division at the University of West Terrier’s Department of Psychology.

The research study, which involved 5,000 Animals from inside and outside The Park, was conducted over a period of three years by UWT psychology professor and lead researcher, Dr. Luule Aednik. The full results will appear in the September issue of the prestigious Journal of Experimental and Reactive Psychology (JERP).

Supported in full by University research funds, the study concludes that prolonged amounts of time spent in close contact with Humans causes a “numbing effect” on the brains of the members of many species.

“There is a deficit after a certain length of time,” said Aednik in an interview with The Mammalian Daily.

“The most shocking result in the testing was the loss of recognition of some of the characteristics of one’s own species. We saw some types of species-specific behaviour almost disappear, often after only a few months. Animals lost basic skills; some had even forgotten how to secure their own food,” she said.

Though the impetus for the study was purely academic, Aednik believes the results have more widespread implications.

“I think they explain some of the problems that some Animals have had in adapting to life in The Park,” she said.

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you: Mammalian Daily to publish series of survivor profiles

By

The Mammalian Daily announced today that it has engaged the services of a pair of noted biographers to write a series of pieces about refugee Animals who have made their homes in The Park.

The series, which will be called “Survivor Profiles” will appear under the Influential Animals tab on the newspaper’s web site.

“We think we know our friends and neighbours,” said a spokesAnimal for the paper. “But the truth is, there are things we don’t talk about sometimes, such as where we came from and what life was like there. This series will give us a chance to get to know each other in a deeper way.”

The profiles will appear monthly and will be written by biographers Adeola Kifaru and Kamilah Tembo. Kifaru’s latest work, Ululate!, was described in a recent book review as “the most touchingly-written true story published to date”. Kamilah Tembo, who won the biography prize at the 2011 Park Annual Literary Awards (now known as Chitter Radio Literary Awards) for her book, Never Too Soon, is, herself, the daughter of Park refugees.

The Survivor Profile series will begin this month.

Poorwill Commoners no “fly-by-night” team: coach

By

The coach of one of The Park’s most popular Avian teams has lashed out at critics who branded him “ineffectual” and his team “unworthy” of competing.

At a press conference held at dusk, Charles “Chuck” Nightjar, coach of the Poorwill Commoners, directly addressed the recent spate of criticism that has resulted in a call for his resignation and a complete overhaul of the team membership. In a speech aimed directly at the media, Nightjar countered accusations that he was ill-suited to lead the team and that the team was, somehow, “unstable” and unreliable.

The team has come under fire recently for being a no-show at several daytime training events and, more importantly, for allowing reservists to play in the regular season. The club has also been criticized for allowing members of other species to play for the team during hibernation season, when team members traditionally go into a state of torpor, and for allowing these players to train with the team during the regular season. Coach Nightjar has vigorously defended this policy, saying that all team members benefit from practice and that there is no way to compete during hibernation without bringing in team members from other species.

“The fact that we invite members of other species to play on our team [during hibernation season] in no way signals that we are less-than-serious competitors,” he stressed. “All our members are loyal to the team and focused on winning.”

The coach also took the opportunity to make a plea for fan restraint.

“We appreciate our fans. They’re very zealous…but they can be overly-zealous, too, sometimes,” he said, referring to a recent incident in which a group of passionate supporters painted their feathers and tails the colour of team members and flew out on a destructive nocturnal spree, trashing the nests of rival teams.

“This sort of thing has no place in sport,” Nightjar said.

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

Join TMD on Facebook

Join TMD on Facebook

Click below to see what others say about us

CATCH UP HERE!

August 2012
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031