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Archives for November 2012

Second prong of Archons’ new tourism strategy: signage

November 28, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The 2012 Archons have revealed the second prong of their “three-pronged” plan to promote tourism in The Park.

At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt proudly announced that a “major construction project” will take place in The Park this Winter, with the building and erection of a number of signposts. The signposts, Newt said, will direct tourists to Park “hot spots” and make their time spent here significantly more pleasant.

“I know if I didn’t live here, I wouldn’t know where to start,” Newt said, adding that, for those who live outside it, The Park is a vast untapped resource for sports, entertainment and fine dining.

“And once The Park Museum opens, there will be even more reason to visit,” he said.

The signpost project will be overseen by Simply Structures, one of The Park’s leading construction companies. A spokesAnimal for the company said she thought the project would be completed by the end of Winter.

The Archons’ plan to promote The Park as a tourist destination, initiated this past Spring, has continued to meet with resistance from individual Park citizens, environmental groups and some businesses, who say the financial gain from tourists does not offset the physical damage to The Park and the disruption of Park life.

See also:

Archons’ plan to promote Park tourism draws criticism

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life

Second prong of Archons’ new tourism strategy: signage

November 27, 2012 By Bergrún Íkorna, TMD Business Reporter

The 2012 Archons have revealed the second prong of their “three-pronged” plan to promote tourism in The Park.

At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt proudly announced that a “major construction project” will take place in The Park this Winter, with the building and erection of a number of signposts. The signposts, Newt said, will direct tourists to Park “hot spots” and make their time spent here significantly more pleasant.

“I know if I didn’t live here, I wouldn’t know where to start,” Newt said, adding that, for those who live outside it, The Park is a vast untapped resource for sports, entertainment and fine dining.

“And once The Park Museum opens, there will be even more reason to visit,” he said.

The signpost project will be overseen by Simply Structures, one of The Park’s leading construction companies. A spokesAnimal for the company said she thought the project would be completed by the end of Winter.

The Archons’ plan to promote The Park as a tourist destination, initiated this past Spring, has continued to meet with resistance from individual Park citizens, environmental groups and some businesses, who say the financial gain from tourists does not offset the physical damage to The Park and the disruption of Park life.

See also:

Archons’ plan to promote Park tourism draws criticism

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life

Post Office honours Park’s migrators with new stamp

November 22, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Park Post Office unveiled its latest commemorative stamp this morning. The stamp honours The Park’s migrating community.

At a brief ceremony held this morning, The Park Post Office unveiled the newest addition to its commemorative stamp series. The stamp, which honours The Park’s migrators, was designed by resident artist Luciana Lontra.

“Our migrators are an important part of The Park community,” said Postmaster Phineas Colm. “Because of their absence during a good part of the year, they can be forgotten. We hope this stamp will help us to keep them in our minds.”

The stamp will go on sale December 3 and will be available at the Post Office building as well as at selected retailers throughout The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

Band’s new song, “Put a Leash on It” sparks controversy

November 16, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Is this the life Les Chiens Débraillés believe Park Canines covet?

The Park’s Canine community is threatening to boycott all music by the controversial band, Les Chiens Débraillés, after the release yesterday of its new song, “Put a Leash on It.”

In an open letter to the band and its management and to the Canine Music Association (CMA), DoGGeD, a newly-formed group of “concerned Park Canines” wrote of their “dismay and feelings of dejection” when they heard the song.

“We are writing to let you know that we find the song’s message offensive and condescending. In releasing this song, Les Chiens Débraillés has alienated its fellow Canines and, in so doing, shown its lack of taste in both music and intraspecial relations,” the letter read.

In response, Philippe Chiendeur, the band’s manager, released a one-line statement saying that the band does not comment on “the meaning or message of any of its musical material”.

Canine Music Association President R.F. Aarrf also released a short statement. In it, he said the CMA does not deal directly with complaints from “disgruntled individuals or groups.” The last controversy the CMA was involved in was the dispute between the Association of Park Radio Stations and the popular Park band The Cynics, after the APRS pulled a Cynics song from the airwaves.

Earlier today, however, The Marsupial Messenger’s acclaimed music reviewer Pierre Sucre came to the defense of the band. In a short column, he wrote that DoGGeD “has it all wrong.”

“Leaving aside the stereotype that Canines have no sense of humour, this group [DoGGeD] has completely missed the point of the Chiens Débraillés song. To the rest of us, the song is a lament. It’s about the economy, stupides, and the effects the downturn has had on our sense of independence. In my opinion, the song isn’t even about Canines. It’s about trying to survive in a world in which we do not have complete control over our lives,” Sucre wrote.

________________________________________________________________________________

See also:

Association pulls Cynics’ song from airwaves

________________________________________________________________________________

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Doves of Peace stage strike; “heavy-handed” tactics blamed

November 15, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Park’s Doves of Peace announced today that they have initiated a strike in protest against what they call the “heavy-handed” tactics used recently by Park Police.

In a statement that was published in all major print media and read on all radio and television stations, the Doves declared that they had decided to withdraw their services to The Park for an unspecified length of time “in order to bring to light the change in attitude and decorum of Park Police and, by implication, the 2012 Archons.”

In the statement, the Doves complained about being “shut out” of events this year. They also cited the recent presence of Park Police at celebrations such as the annual Harvest Festival and Snowbird Farewell as evidence of a changing attitude of the Archons toward Park residents.

“These are events that we are, usually, sent to…not as peacekeepers, but as the symbol of interspecial harmony and peace,” said Georgina Golub, spokesBird for the Doves. “The decision, this year, to send police in our stead marks a change in attitude that we consider ominous.”

Historically, the Doves, who are a fully autonomous sub-group of Park Police, have been sent to attend all Park celebrations and days of significance. After a disruption during the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF), however, the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations took the decision to send Park Police, instead.

“We wanted to restore calm and order to our celebrations,” Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the Department, said in a telephone interview. “After the Noon Nuttiness surprise [violence], we felt we needed to be careful, at least for a while.”

But SpokesBird Golub called police presence at the Surrender of the Nut “the last straw.”

“On one of our most solemn occasions, the very symbol of peace, harmony, and trust, celebrants looked around and saw police everywhere. But when they looked up at the sky, they saw nothing,” she said.

________________________________________________________________

SEE ALSO:

Hundreds jailed after Noon Nuttiness protest turns violent

Park celebrations “joyous” despite heavy police presence

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Focus on: Keeper of the Nut

November 12, 2012 By Riikard Havik, TMD Focus Reporter

The position of Keeper of the Nut dates back to pre-zoocratic times in The Park.

ORIGIN

The position of Keeper of the Nut was created in pre-zoocratic times.

Historians at the University of West Terrier believe that it began during the second wave of immigration to The Park. This was the era during which Park Animals needed to find ways to ensure that the many different species that had taken up residence here could live together in harmony.

“Peace, made possible by interspecial harmony, is one of the tenets of zoocracy. It is seen not only as an important aspiration, but as something that was and is attainable. It was foremost in Jor’s mind when he established zoocracy. But long before that, interspecial harmony was not an ideal; it was a necessity. Without some semblance of it, there would have been no Park in which to establish zoocracy. So, the rôle of Keeper of the Nut was a very important one in those early years,” says Beatrice Zilonis, a professor in the Department of History at the University of West Terrier.

FUNCTION
Originally, the position was called “Keeper of the Nuts.”

“This is a very important distinction,” says Clark Cascanueces, President of the Park Historical Society. “The plural marks the difference between real function and symbolism. Although there was, indeed, symbolism involved in the position, function was its most important aspect,” he says.

The Keeper of the Nuts was charged with the responsibility of guarding the property of those who went into hibernation.

“This was not as easy a task as it might seem,” says Cascanueces. “These were not lawful times; there was plenty of plotting and thievery going on in The Park. Hibernators (and estivators) were especially vulnerable to it. No institutions, such as banks, had yet been established. There was no organized storage and homes were makeshift. In a very real way, Animals were on their own,” Cascanueces says.

No one is sure how the rôle of Keeper of the Nuts began. Some theorize the rôle evolved through a series of what historians call “stages of trust.” Others believe that it was established through thievery, itself.

“What we do know,” says UWT’s Zilonis, “is that once it was established, it took. There was no going back. Little by little, Animals had found a way to trust those outside their own species and to use that trust to benefit themselves and others.”

SELECTION
In the beginning, it appears that the selection of Keeper of the Nut was made by Park elders, based upon the recommendations of a variety of Animal communities.

Today, final selection is made by ballots cast by the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). Based upon personal knowledge and the recommendations of Park citizens, the SAHC invites Animals to stand for the position. The right of refusal ensures that only those who wish to fulfill the rôle will be selected by the Community.

THE KEEPER IN LITERATURE
The first references to the rôle are found in early epic poetry. From these poems, we learn that there was more than one Keeper of the Nuts per season.

“That would make sense,” says Zilonis, “since they would check up on each other and that would reduce the likelihood of internal theft.”

The epic poems also tell us that the word “nuts” meant foodstuffs in general, rather than only nuts. Other foods are mentioned, including seeds, leaves, and certain mud mixes.

SYMBOLISM
Even at its most functional, the rôle of Keeper of the Nut held important symbolism for Park Animals. The rôle symbolizes the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival.

Over the years, due to the establishment of zoocracy, organized storage, banking systems, and extra-hortulanial trade, the Keeper of the Nut has become more of a ceremonial  rôle. Its symbolism remains powerful, however, and while the “nut” is now less a symbol of food than it is of Animals’ hopes for The Park’s future, a recent Park survey indicated that the majority of Animals think first of survival when they think of the Keeper of the Nut.

SURRENDER OF THE NUT
“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition not only of the harmony of the species, which is symbolized, of course, by the trust that Animals put in the Keeper of the Nut, but of the ephemeral nature of life, itself,” says Professor Zilonis. “Animals didn’t know whether they would wake from hibernation. And, if they did, they didn’t know what world they would find themselves in. They saw the surrender as just that — ceding control over their future. It has always been a very powerful moment for us.”

These days, while it remains a serious occasion, it is a celebratory one, as well.

“I think we’ve evolved to the point of being able to celebrate the unknown, at least to some extent,” Clark Cascanueces says. “I think we can surrender ourselves to the future, while acknowledging that there may not be one for some of us.”

—————————

The Surrender of the Nut occurs every year on November 14 at 11:00 in the morning.

The Mammalian Daily gratefully acknowledges the assistance of members of The Park Historical Society and the University of West Terrier Department of History in the preparation of this article.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Focus on, Park Life

Mixed reaction as Bastiaan Groundhog wins POPS election

November 9, 2012 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

Bastiaan Groundhog: 2013 POPS

Amid roaring applause and loud shouts of support from the crowd, Bastiaan Groundhog accepted the POPS baton from Ulrica Gilda Groundhog, 2012 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring, at a moving ceremony held last night at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

After a gruelling night of debating his fellow candidates on Tuesday, Bastiaan retired to his burrow, where he remained for the entirety of election day. His only trip out was a quick one to the polls, where he cast his vote, presumably for himself.

“It’s a secret ballot, so I won’t say who I voted for,” the Groundhog said, flashing a knowing smile, as he spoke to reporters yesterday outside his burrow. “But I will say that I feel honoured to have been chosen 2013 POPS and I am humbled by the trust my fellow Park residents have put in me. I promise to do my very best on February 2.”

Outside the theatre, however, as the crowd gathered for a look at their new prognosticator, some Animals looked glum and disappointed.

“Same old, same old,” mumbled Sorcha Skunk, referring to the fact that no Animal except for a Groundhog has ever won the POPS election.

Others seemed to agree.

“You have to remember,” said Alexandre Lemure, “that it’s called ‘Groundhog Day’. It’s no surprise that they have the upper hand in the elections.”

Others, though, seemed less disgruntled and more hopeful.

“Last year was the first year that any Animal other than a Groundhog ran,” said Bertrand Macaw. “It’s small steps, but we’ll get there, eventually. In the meantime, we should support Bastiaan. We don’t want him to feel negative energy going into hibernation,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Politics/Law/Crime

2012 Archons to make public education their legacy

November 8, 2012 By TMD Reporters

2012 Archons: “Public education will be our legacy.”

With a little more than two months to go before their term ends, the 2012 Archons announced plans today for “swift action” on their initiative to establish standardized public education in The Park.

At a press conference held this morning, Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt unveiled the official plan for the establishment of a system of “dedicated venues” across The Park “to fulfill the burning need for a standardized system of education for our young.”

The plan, which bears the name “Harmony Through Education” has been years in the making, but the 2012 Archons felt the need had become urgent.

“After we read the results of the [education] study that was commissioned by the 2011 Archons, we knew we had to act,” Newt said.

The Archons explained their decision in a statement released prior to the press conference. It read, in part:

Interspecial harmony is a cornerstone of The Promise of The Park and it is under threat. Several studies have shown a growing lack of knowledge of and lack of exposure to other species among our young. This, we believe, has contributed to the increase in incidents of interspecial violence over the past few years. At the same time, we are seeing dwindling knowledge of The Park’s history among all species, as the oldest Park citizens die off and the young turn their attention elsewhere. We can no longer afford the luxury of leaving education to the family; we must accept the responsibility of educating The Park’s young in a organized fashion. If we do not, we put the future of The Park at risk.

Newt concluded the press conference by affirming the outgoing Archons’ commitment to The Park’s future.

“To us, the future is now. Let this be our legacy, then, that we said enough studies have been done, enough opinions have been expressed. We need to take action and swiftly,” he said.

_______________________________________________________________________

RELATED ARTICLES:

  • Majority of Park Animal home-schooled: study
  • Park Historical Society to produce series of short films

 _______________________________________________________________________

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

POPS 2013: Election Office releases candidate names

November 6, 2012 By TMD Reporters

The Park’s Election Office has released the names of the 23 Animals who have chosen to stand as candidates for the position of 2013 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

At 2:00 a.m. this morning, the list of candidates was posted at the law courts and in front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, the venue that will host tonight’s all-candidates’ debate. The list will remain posted until all votes are tallied on November 7.

The candidates are:

  • KASPER AARDEEKHOORNTJE;  TORSTEN BADGER; OGEN H.W. BEAVER; LORENZO MICHELE CHIPMUNK; FABIAN DACHS; OTTAVIO DONNOLA; MALKA EEKHOORN; LARS EKORRE; ABRAHAM BROMLEY GARETH GROUNDHOG; BASTIAAN GROUNDHOG; GERDA M.N. GROUNDHOG; LORENZO NARCISO GROUNDHOG; ANGUS IORA;  ALEIDA Y.B. MARMOT; YURI MARMOTA; MARJANI MOL; NICODEMO SCOIATTOLO; W.H. “SKIPPER” SKUNK; AGNES O. WEASEL; SILKEN WEZEL; HEIKE WHISTLEPIG; SAMUEL P. WOODCHUCK; CAESAR R. WOODCHUCK.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Politics/Law/Crime

POPS 2013: record number vie for coveted position

November 2, 2012 By TMD Reporters

With only a few days to go before the annual all candidates’ debate, the list of contenders vying for the position of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) has reached the highest number in the office’s history.

According to The Park’s Election Office, 13 Animals have now registered their candidacy.

“This is the highest level of interest we’ve seen since elections were established almost ten years ago,” said PEO head Gerritt Wezel. “We expect at least five more Animals to announce before the cut-off time on Monday [November 5],” he said.

Since 2003 (23 AZ), subsequent to the decision of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in the landmark case of “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” vs the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog, the position of POPS has been an elected one. In order to stand for election, Animals must officially announce their candidacy between October 15 and 11:59 on November 5. The names of the candidates are released at 2:00 a.m. on November 6. POPS hopefuls are then allowed to campaign for votes until 8:00 in the evening, when the all candidates’ debate begins.

The POPS election occurs on Wednesday, November 7, ten days before the official date of hibernation.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Politics/Law/Crime

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