Archives for August 2014

September on our minds

August 31, 2014 By TMD Reporters

The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on what’s planned for September 2014.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

It’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

The 2nd annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 13-15.

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

It’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from our on-site groomers (gratis, of course!). September 27
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”

Park Finance Office releases “streamlined” budget for 2015

August 30, 2014 By Adelbert Mókus, TMD Financial Reporter

Park Finance Officer Milton Struts looked confident yesterday as he addressed members of the Park’s media community.

After releasing the PFO’s expense projections for 2015, otherwise known as The Park Budget, Struts boasted that this was the best budget his office had configured in more than a decade.

“It’s slim, trim, and to the point,” he said before taking questions from members of the media who had seen the budget on Tuesday but had been told to keep details about it under wraps.

Some of the financial reporters present seemed cynical about the figures while others were downright hostile to the “new formula.”

Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register was the first to question the 45% figure for “resident requirements.”

“How can you put everything that Park citizens require into one basket? Surely something will be left out, either by design or mistake,” he pressed.

While Struts tried to reassure him, The Salamander Evening Post’s Camlin “Cayuga” Newt broke in with criticism of the decision to lump both arts and sports events together with “Special Events.”

“You’re not fooling anybody with that figure,” he said. “Any way you look at it, we’ve lost 2% of the budget. We just don’t know where, exactly.”

The lack of transparency in the budget drew the ire of even seasoned political analysts such as Ronald Grouse. Speaking on a special edition of Yannis Tavros’s Toro Talk Radio show yesterday, The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst called the budget “the most disorderly, disorganized, and potentially dysfunctional budget” he had ever seen.

“There is almost nothing there,” he said. “There are almost no specifics. If you add up the Miscellaneous category with Residents’ Requirements, you’ve allocated more than half the budget to … what? We may never know.”

Meanwhile, advocates for better growing conditions in The Park seemed pleased by aspects of the budget.

In a joint statement released this morning, the Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP) and the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) praised the doubling of funds for the purchase of weather.

“It’s taken a long time for us to get our message across, but we believe we’ve finally been heard,” the statement said.

AVN TV to turn its lens on Humans

August 28, 2014 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

This Autumn, the AVN Television Network (AVN TV) will begin broadcasting a new live television series that will focus on Humans as they spend time in The Park.[pullquote]This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.” – AVN TV Program Director Izrine Corneille [/pullquote]

AVN’s Chief Executive Officer Orville Condor and Program Director Izrine Corneille made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“We [at AVN TV] have a unique perspective on The Park, and we want to use that perspective to serve our customers,” Corneille said. “This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.”

Corneille said the show will be broadcast for two hours (one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon) every day of the week. The network’s initial contract with the show’s producers calls for the series to run for 12 consecutive months.

“We wanted to show Humans in every season, starting with the Autumn,” Condor said.

The show is scheduled to begin on September 22.

AVN Television is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include AVN Radio, CLucK Radio and The Avian Messenger.

Finance Office puts 2015 Budget info under embargo until Friday

August 26, 2014 By Adelbert Mókus, TMD Financial Reporter

PFO puts budget info under embargo

Park Animals will have to wait until Friday to find out how the Park Finance Office (PFO) intends to spend its funds in the coming year.

In a directive to all media (now in possession of the 2015 budget), Park Finance Officer Milton Struts cautioned against disclosing any information until a scheduled press conference at noon on Friday.

The budget, which is already two weeks late, has been the subject of much speculation since The Mammalian Daily broke the story in July that the Archons planned to tackle the growing inequality among Park Animals by streamlining the 2015 budget.

According to a trusted source close to the PFO, changes in the budget could include eliminating the 3% of funds that were allocated to tourism and tourism promotion, returning arts and sports funding to the levels set in the 2012 budget (more than twice the 2014 levels), and shaving a bit off special events to pay for better weather, healthcare and refugee services.

Beasts of Burden to hold pre-festival open mic night at pub they own

August 25, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Beasts of Burden to host open mic at pub

Come one, come all! And bring your instruments, too!

The Beasts of Burden are planning to hold a pre-festival open mic night on August 31st at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that is owned by the musical group.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, the band wants to give Park residents a chance to “warm up” in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which they founded last year.

“It’s a party … to celebrate a party,” Herder said.

All Animals are welcome to join in the fun, but the Beasts request that those who wish to play or sing add their names to a list that will be posted outside the pub on Wednesday morning.

“It will be a great time but be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder says.

“And, if we find some unknown Park talents, we will invite them to perform at the festival.”

Open Mic night at The Draft on 31 August: Doors open at 6:00 p.m.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival: 12-14 September

Millicent Hayberry to host “Chipmunk Chinwag” after Mixed Nuts screening

August 23, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Actress Millicent Hayberry, who played the late Park writer Imogen Aardeekhoorn on both stage and screen, will host a “Chipmunk Chinwag” following the free encore screening of Mixed Nuts, her publicist has confirmed.

“Millicent will take questions about the film production, but she will also answer audience queries about Aardeekhoorn herself. Since the writer’s death last month, the public has exhibited an interest in her personal life as well as her professional life. Imogen and Millicent were friends and Millicent feels reasonably qualified to answer some of these questions,” the publicist said.

The free encore screening of Mixed Nuts is scheduled to take place at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre at 6:00 p.m. on October 2.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival will run 1-5 October, 2014.

PIFF 2014 to honour Aardeekhorn

August 22, 2014 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

The 2014 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) will honour the memory of writer Imogen Aardeekhoorn.

At a press conference held this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot confirmed that the festival will host a free encore screening of last year’s hit Mixed Nuts at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre on October 2 at 6:00 p.m.

“Playwright Imogen Aardeekhoorn was as beloved in The Park as she was important to our film industry,” Ocelot said. “We could think of no more fitting a tribute than to offer this screening of her brilliant work.”

“Imogen would have been very pleased and humbled by this gesture,” says the film’s producer Victoria Sciurini. Sciurini worked closely with Aardeekhoorn as the latter adapted her memoir for the big screen.

“She worried about translating the work to film after its huge success on stage. But, as I knew it would, that worry turned out to be unfounded.”

The Park Interspecial Film Festival will run from 1-5 October, 2014.

DWBS to move forward on plan to track Human foot traffic in Park

August 20, 2014 By Thaddeus S. Loris, TMD Health and Safety Reporter

BREAKING NEWS
The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) announced today that it is moving ahead with its plan to track Human foot traffic in The Park.

At a press conference held this morning, DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo confirmed that the 2014 Archons had signed off on the controversial plan after several weeks of intense debate.

“This is a major milestone,” said Kakapo. “We are moving in the direction of ensuring the safety and security of Park Animals.”

The monitoring plan, which is scheduled to commence in mid-September, was originally proposed by an ad hoc group after the publication of what they called “disturbing” statistics surrounding the number of accidental deaths of Park Animals that occurred due to “trampling” and other types of collisions with Humans. The leader of the now-dissolved group was Fatima Formiga, great-great granddaughter of the renowned Park poet Aubrey Ant. Ant, a seventh generation Park citizen, was best known for his poem, “If the Shoe Fits.“

In a statement issued this morning, Formiga said she was “extremely pleased” to hear the news. She also wrote that it was “an honour for me and my family to have played a part in the solution to this devastating problem. It shows the power that poetry can have.”

To read Aubrey Ant’s famous poem, click here: If the Shoe Fits.

Survivor Profiles: You don’t know Tab (part three of three)

August 17, 2014 By Natalie Jane Appaloosa, TMD Food Reporter

Tab Tricolore, Chef and Restaurateur

Part three of a three-part series.
Click here to read part one.
Click here to read part two.

“Evolution” is a dirty word in the Animal world, but The Park’s most successful restaurateur is not afraid to use it. As he prepares to open his fifth restaurant, he muses about the attitudinal changes he has witnessed and the rôle that chefs have played in those changes.

Tab Tricolore (pronounced “tree-caw-lore-ay”), famous “bad boy chef” and The Park’s most successful restaurateur, has dust up his nose, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Having refused the offer of a mask and a tour guide, he walks stealthily through the unfinished space that will soon be home to his newest venture. Eating was a very private activity before. Now, it’s become not only a public one, but a social one, as well. We go outside of our own dwellings to engage in it. We eat in front of others. And, not just in front of them, but with them. That difference in habitude is huge.

“This one is special,” he whispers, surrendering his signature monotone to the emotion of the moment.

The PurrrBoy Café at the Park Museum, which will commence service a few weeks before the museum officially opens, has been designed by Tricolore’s favourite firm, Tagma Designs. Though their work isn’t yet evident, Tricolore is confident they will stay true to his vision.

“They know me and they know my tastes, even as they evolve,” he says.

Tricolore talks often about seeing himself as the prime educator of Park Animals’ palates. Indeed, in his recently completed book, “The Evolution of Taste” (to be published in 2015), he admits to giving himself a huge dollop of credit for the success of the restaurant business in The Park.

But his interest these days lies less in palates than it does in what he calls the “evolution of habitude.”

What Tricolore is talking about is the way in which Park Animals now schedule their lives and the new way in which they view not just food, but eating.

“For thousands of years, it was basically the same: find food, eat, sleep, mate, find food, eat, sleep, die. It sounds bad, but that was the way we lived. Most species of Animals didn’t forage together, let alone eat together. We take it for granted now, but eating was a very private activity before. Now, it’s become not only a public one, but a social one, as well. We go outside of our own dwellings to engage in it. We eat in front of others. And, not just in front of them, but with them. That difference in habitude is huge,” he declares.

And that difference has made all the difference to The Park’s restaurateurs. But it has presented challenges, too.

“It’s a cliché but it’s true: chefs are creative types. And we like to see our creativity appreciated. But we’ve had to push for acceptance in The Park. We’ve had to push Animals to try not only our food, but our ideas about eating. That evolution of habitude that we see evidence of now…that is the result of our efforts and we’re still at it. We’re still having to map it out for our customers,” he says.

Map it out?

Tricolore answers with a mocking tone. “Yes, you can eat even if you’re not hungry. Yes, you can eat more than once a day. Yes, you can eat something you haven’t found yourself. And you may even like it.”

Despite his tone, the Chef says he’s sympathetic to what he calls “the novice diner.”

“It’s a whole new world and, depending on your experiences and your species, you may not want to participate. I understand that. But it’s my job and my colleagues’ job to convince you that it’s a positive thing. And if I can’t do that … if I don’t do that … if you don’t enjoy my restaurant and my food and I mean both, then I’ve failed and I deserve to have failed,” he says.

But isn’t that a bit harsh?

“Not in the least,” Tricolore argues. “Because I’ve let you down. I know how wonderful the experience can be and I haven’t been able to show that to you. And, for a chef, that’s the worst failure of all.”

The PurrrBoy Café is scheduled to open later this year.

Park ART Walk: Saturday, August 16

August 15, 2014 By TMD Reporters

The organizers request the honour of your presence at the following event:

Park ART Walk
Saturday, August 16, 2014
10:00 am – 7:00 pm

The Park ART Walk is a one-day, juried art exhibition that showcases the artistic expression of Park residents. Showings will take place at participating art galleries, shops, theatres and cinemas. This year’s jury will include curators from the Park Museum of Contemporary Art and the Kipos Gallery.

The 2014 Park ART Walk will focus on the art of The Park’s refugees.

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