Archives for July 2015

Winners of tickets to Barkettes’ free concert to be announced Tuesday

July 20, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Will you be one of the lucky ones?

The winners of the lottery for tickets to the Barkettes’ free concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond will be announced tomorrow.

In a joint statement released this morning, the promoter, Iglu Entertainment, and the group’s manager, Hilde Blaft, confirmed that the winners will be selected in a live presentation that will be held outside the law courts and broadcast on a number of Park television stations.

The statement also confirmed that Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon will preside over the selection process but will not personally handle any of the ticket requests.

The presentation will begin at 11:00 in the morning. According to the concert’s organizers, there are 20,000 tickets up for grabs, including direct skyview tickets. There are also at least 2,000 underwater spaces available.

The free concert will honour the memory of the Tartan Crab, the victim of The Park’s most famous unsolved murder. The Crab, who was Nestor’s pet, was brutally murdered eight years ago and Police still have no idea of the identity of the crime’s perpetrator.

The July 26 concert, which begins at 8:00 p.m., is the only free event announced thus far in Thisbe and the Barkettes’ Bring Your Own Bone Tour. The Park leg of the tour will wrap up at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre in August.

Millicent Hayberry eulogizes superfan at Saturday’s memorial service

July 19, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Hayberry eulogized superfan Xanthippe Porcupine at Saturday’s memorial service

[pullquote]I was young, inexperienced, and unused to such focused attention. Xanthippe changed all that for me.—Millicent Hayberry[/pullquote]Outside the Burrow Theatre yesterday, Millicent Hayberry acknowledged the contributions of Xanthippe Porcupine, her “greatest fan,” and held court afterwards, signing autographs and mixing with the crowd at what some in attendance called a “bizarre combination of memorial service, self-promotion, and lovefest.”

At times unusually restrained and at others downright effusive, Hayberry spoke almost lovingly of an Animal whom she had at first feared.

“I was young, inexperienced, and unused to such focused attention,” she told the crowd of mourners standing under the bright sun. “Xanthippe changed all that for me.”

Hayberry said she’d found that one of the consequences of having a superfan was that she had to fight to maintain a more objective view of herself and her work. But, at the same time, Porcupine’s recommendations provided a balance.

“Xanthippe was never critical, even when she made suggestions, which other actors would have found outrageous and presumptuous. But she had a good ear and was particular about cadence and, in the end, I believe that made my performances better,” she said.

Among the others who spoke at the memorial was Porcupine’s daughter Carys, who thanked Hayberry for agreeing to give the eulogy, while gently teasing her about never feeling as important to her mother as Hayberry was.

“I was, in fact, my mother’s only daughter, but I always felt as if I were her second and Millicent Hayberry was her first,” she joked. “My only regret is that my mother wasn’t able to hear the wonderful things you said about her today.”

Porcupine was laid to rest in a private burial Saturday evening.

Tall Tail Books moves into Human market with “explainer videos” of books

July 18, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Revered Park publisher Tall Tail Books announced yesterday that it will be making its first foray into the Human market this Autumn with a series of “explainer videos” of its most popular books.

The company, whose books include “Albert: A Life on the Street,” “Once Around the Block with Foster,” and “When All Good Things Begin with B,” confirmed in a statement released yesterday that it sees “great potential” in expanding into the Human market.

“We are confident that Humans will be able to understand and enjoy our books as long as they are explained to them carefully and we believe that our products will add value to what is already a large market,” said the statement, which was signed by company president Nathania T. Manx.

The first of the explainer videos will be released in late September, according to a company spokesAnimal. Tall Tail has engaged the services of one of The Park’s major animation companies, AniMAZZA, to produce the videos. AniMAZZA’s work includes the film, Peter Popinjay, which was screened at the 2009 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).

Tall Tail Books was founded as the “Small Animal’s Publisher” by writer and editor Thomas Owen Manx, who saw the need for small Animals to share their experience in the world. After Manx’s death, his daughter Nathania assumed the presidency of the company.

Flyball Finals attract diverse audience

July 17, 2015 By Ronan Kanga, TMD Sports Reporter

Today’s Flyball Finals should set a record for attendance organizers say

Today’s Flyball Finals will likely set a record for attendance, the annual event’s organizers tell The Mammalian Daily.

“The sport’s audience has been growing steadily for years, but since it was finally included in the Ball and Stick events of the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games, it’s attracted a much wider audience,” says Adrià Lebrel, president of the Park Flyball Association (PFA).

Mammalian Daily Balls columnist and Park sports historian, Bailey, agrees.

“In the beginning, flyball had a hard time shedding the stigma of being a domestic sport. Many Park Animals associated it with Human entertainment and felt it had little to do with the natural inclinations of Canines. Now that we have a few decades of zoocracy under our belts, we seem to feel freer to enjoy flyball as the activity it is, and not in association with Humans. It is great exercise and great fun and we’re beginning to see more species getting involved with it, and not just as spectators,” he says.

In fact, Bailey says, he has been asked by The Park Museum to co-curate an exhibit dedicated to the sport. The exhibit is slated for the Spring of 2016.

“I’m very much looking forward to working with [Park Museum curator] Dorika Pumi on this. It will be the first sports-related exhibit at the museum and I was, of course, honoured to be asked to participate. Although we are planning to highlight flyball, it will also be a tribute to the enduring relationship between Animals and balls,” he says.

Today’s Flyball Finals began at 3:00 p.m.

Find more information on the Tennis Ball, the ball used in Flyball, here.

Second Tree found hacked in Park

July 16, 2015 By TMD Crime Reporters

Jerzy Szop stands inside what remains of his longtime residence

BREAKING NEWS

A second Park Tree has been hacked in the night.

In a statement issued at nine o’clock this morning, Park Police confirmed that a Maple Tree outside The Battering Ram Café was found to have suffered “significant damage.”

“At five-thirty this morning, Park Police were called to the scene after several patrons exiting the [Battering Ram] Café noticed the destruction,” the statement said.

Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of the Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) said that his team is investigating what he called the “utter devastation” of a Park landmark.

“We have called in a Tree doctor, but we fear it may not survive until tomorrow,” Addax said in a telephone interview.

The Maple Tree, which is believed to be one of The Park’s oldest Trees, has been home to Jerzy Szop for the past three years. Szop says he is “shaken to the core” at the loss of his home.

“I feel violated,” he said, as he stood inside what remains of his residence. Holding a parasol for protection against the midday sun, Szop said he felt “completely disoriented” after arriving home from a late-night food gathering expedition to discover that he no longer had a home.

Szop says he doesn’t know if he’ll continue to live in The Park, even though he’s had multiple offers of shelter.

“I’ve completely lost trust in Park life,” he moaned, as his friends and family gathered around to support him.

Hayberry superfan succumbs to illness

July 14, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

This tribute to Xanthippe Porcupine appeared outside the Burrow Theatre

BREAKING NEWS

Xanthippe Porcupine, who proclaimed herself to be actress Millicent Hayberry’s “greatest fan,” died last night at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm. She was six years old.

The death was confirmed in a statement released by Porcupine’s daughter Carys, this morning.

“It is with great sadness that the family of Xanthippe Porcupine announces her death last night, after a long illness. Xanthippe was a great daughter, sister, friend, mate, mother, and grandmother. But, above all, she liked to think of herself as Millicent Hayberry’s greatest fan. Her family will always be grateful to the actress, who always expressed kindness and appreciation when she met Xanthippe,” the statement read.

Porcupine attended a record number of Hayberry performances before she became ill, but she was probably best known for keeping a two-month vigil outside the Park Hospital while Hayberry recovered from an attack by another fan on the set of the film production of “Mixed Nuts” in 2011.

A memorial service is planned for Porcupine on Saturday. Millicent Hayberry could not be reached for comment.

This year’s first case of Small Ball Fever diagnosed at Park Hospital

July 13, 2015 By Keelin Gabhar, TMD Health and Science Reporter

BREAKING NEWS

The Park has seen its first case of Small Ball Fever this year.

In a statement issued this morning, a spokesAnimal for The Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm said the hospital “is confirming the first case of Small Ball Fever (SBF) in 2015.”

According to Hermione Hippo, the hospital’s head nurse and Assistant Professor at the University of West Terrier’s School of Medicine, the hospital expects to see a resurgence of the disease this year.

Hippo, who will be delivering a lecture on Small Ball Fever at the university next week, said in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio (TMD Radio) that The Park was “spared” for a while due to June’s heavy rainfall.

“For a while, it looked as though we might escape any incidence of SBF this year. Last year, we experienced the lowest incidence of any year since 2005, when we started gathering statistics. But the surge in temperatures has brought out an almost record number of small balls,” she said.

Hippo also confirmed that the hospital has hired a ball watcher as well as a ball catcher for the Summer months.

“With the sudden rise in temperatures, we were seeing small balls entering The Park from every direction and we needed a lot of help keeping up with them. We are storing them in a safe, temperature-controlled room at the hospital and we intend to return them at some point later in the Autumn,” she said.

Small Ball Fever occurs because small balls, which are better known outside The Park as “golf” balls, harbour the deadly Small Ball Fever virus inside their dimpled surface. The SBF virus is spread when it leaks through cracks in the ball’s surface and makes contact with mucosa in the mouth or nose. Symptoms include extremely high fever, chills, aching muscles, and, eventually, pulmonary dysfunction. All Animals are at risk of developing Small Ball Fever but some groups of Animals, including Squirrels, Donkeys, the elderly, and the infirm, are at particular risk.

The Department of Well-Being and Safety has issued a Small Ball Fever warning, as well, advising Animals who think they may be experiencing any of the above symptoms to report immediately to the hospital. It has also directed all Animals to its online pamphlet, “What you should know about Small Ball Fever.”

PFO head’s remark hints at new attitude to tourism promotion

July 3, 2015 By Bergrún Íkorna, TMD Business Reporter

In an interview yesterday with reporter Alfonsina Cavalletta of the Serangga Star Adviser, the head of the Park Finance Office (PFO) said she believed that tourism is “organic” and may not require much help from officials.

In response to a question about the promotion of tourism in The Park, Valentina Abeja said she believed that “tourism is an organic force and it builds on itself and from itself.”

Later in the interview, Abeja, who took office in February of this year, expanded on her views regarding tourism and its importance to The Park.

“I’ve listened to many of our shopkeepers over the past few months and they say they believe strongly that tourism is irrelevant to their bottom line. In some cases, I must say that I agree with them. In other cases, I think we could improve on our past ventures. I think we need to promote ourselves to a different kind of Human, as well as to domestic Animals. I think we missed the mark there. Perhaps if we bypass the Humans altogether and go directly to their Animal companions, we will attract a more profitable tourist. As it stands, however, our attempts have not yielded significant gains. I believe we need to revisit this area entirely,” she said.

Abeja will present the 2016 Park Budget in August.

“Harmonious” pair newest tool to promote rapport among Park’s young

July 2, 2015 By Thaddeus S. Loris, TMD Health and Safety Reporter

Harmonious Humphrey (left) and Harmonious Hannah will make their debut on Sunday

Meet Harmonious Humphrey and Harmonious Hannah.

The pair of stuffed toys, whose creation was commissioned by the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), are set to make their professional debut this week, at July’s first Stereotype Sunday.

“We are very pleased to introduce them…our new mascots of interspecial harmony,” said DWBS Public Relations Director Cornelius Kakapo at a press gathering this afternoon. The gathering was held outside the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, where the weekly event occurs.

The stuffed Animals, who stand five and a half feet tall, were available for photographs for only a short time today before they were whisked away to an undisclosed location. According to Kakapo, they won’t appear again until Sunday.

“We just wanted to give you a heads-up,” he told reporters, smiling wryly as he handed out information packets to the media.

This is the first initiative to promote interspecial harmony that has been aimed at youth, Kakapo said.

“Our youth are the future of The Park. We need to focus more on them, on training their minds and hearts, steering them in the direction of harmony, equality, and justice. Because it is far easier to plant a seed than it is to relocate a tree,” he said.

The stuffed pair will make the rounds at this week’s Stereotype Sunday, encouraging young Animals to ask questions about other species and to make new friends.

“We’ll be watching their [the harmonious pair’s] progress and tweaking their rôle along the way,” Kakapo said.

This week’s Stereotype Sunday will take place at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre from 1:00 pm until 6:00 pm.