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Try to remember…here’s our September recap

October 1, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Mouse reading newspaperSeptember 1-15

Cackling Goose Tavern to host fundraiser for Jerzy Szop on Friday

UWT Art Gallery, Park Museum vie for art of endangered species

Beasts of Burden to hold second pre-festival open mic at The Draft

Park innovators to watch: Bulb Beacon

Retired novelists’s film to open PIFF 2015

Charities want say in distribution of funds from Beats of Burden music fest

Stinktier drops bombshell: “I’ve always known in my heart that I was a Zebra.”

Zorro sentence: one month in jail, five years of repayment to community

Peacekeepers to attend first Stereotype Sunday since Stinktier revelation

Alert: Harmonious Hannah missing after tumultuous Sunday in The Park

Mouse reading newspaper reversed

September 16-30

Humans capable of feeling pain: study

Beats of Burden lineup announced

Police called in as Zebras block stage to SCENTient Beings at music festival

Zebra activists to appear on Yannis Tavros call-in show Wednesday

The Righteous Among the Humans: new TMD section to be curated by Noreen

The new face of GoUnderground: Hieronymous Hedgehog

Ready, set, shake! The semi-annual Shakeoff starts now!

PIFF Preview: Herman Stoat: Mon Chemin Compliqué

 

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: monthly recap, September news

August in the rear view mirror. Here’s our monthly recap of Park news

September 1, 2015 By TMD Reporters

August recapAugust 1-15

One last time: Barkettes announce final Park date of Bring Your Own Bone Tour

Zorro verdict likely this month; court transcripts to be released in October

Park Museum to host major exhibition dealing with rôle of sport in Park life

UWT to investigate allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans

PIFF sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

Majority of new Park jobs are in field of security law: Department of Statistics

PMoCA offers sneak peek at its new exhibition, “Art of the Domestic Feline”

Fur flies at UWT journalism conference

Park Museum, ISML end feud over beloved Park tome

August 16-31

August recap reversed

Barkettes announce collaboration with Noreen on new song called “Yield!”

Budget preview: “The budget is a very hard needle to thread”

PIFF extends deadline for submission of films to PIFF Pockets category

Budget 2016: Analysis and commentary

Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

Pro-election group urges Park Animals to take next step in zoocratic evolution

Raimundo Zorro found guilty of two of three charges; sentence to be announced next week

Organizers move Beats of Burden Music Fest to third weekend in September

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life Tagged With: August news, recap

July’s a wrap, so here’s our recap

August 1, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Dog with paperJuly 1-15

“Harmonious” pair newest tool to promote rapport among Park’s young

PFO head’s remarks hint at new attitude to tourism promotion

This year’s first case of Small Ball Fever diagnosed at Park hospital

Hayberry superfan succumbs to illness

July 16-31

Second Tree found hacked in Park

Flyball Finals attract diverse audienceDog with paper reversed

Tall Tail Books moves into Human market with “explainer videos” of its books

Hayberry eulogizes superfan at Saturday’s memorial service

Winners of tickets to Barkettes’ free concert to be announced Tuesday

AnonyMoose claims responsibility for latest Tree hacking in Park

“Plumpen Rolletariat” artist to open new PMoCA exhibition in August

Hacked Maple Tree dies as police continue search for AnonyMoose

Barkettes issue invitation to bring Tartan Crab artefacts to Sunday concert

Noreen to appear on Yannis Tavros show to discuss phenomenon of superfans

DWBS issues warning to Animals regarding Humans vacationing in Park

Park ART Walk, Extinction Anxiety Clinic join forces to celebrate work of endangered species

Mark your calendars: August 18 is Budget Day in The Park

Archons’ office hires full-time consultant to build legacy: rumour

Noreen shocks Tavros listeners: “Let’s organize a Superfan Saturday!”

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: 19 and counting, July recap

In case you missed it: our monthly recap

July 1, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Sheep reading newspaperJune 1-15

Enforced Domestication Awareness Month: Schedule of Events released

Enforced Domestication Awareness Month: The Official Schedule of Events

Police confirm early morning break-in at Holstein Fashion’s main factory

Yannis Tavros in hot water again after “temptsters in the teapot” remark

By invitation: Feral Four to perform newest song at Feline Fiction Fest

Chitter Radio Literary Awards: Woodruff Dalmatio’s “Fine Lines and Wrinkles”

Noreen’s commencement address: five phrases for you to grow forward with

June 15-30

Sheep reading newspaper reversedLottery will decide who gets tickets to Barkettes’ free Memorial Pond concert

Tab Tricolore shocker: “I was neutered.”

Six arrested for stripespotting: Police

The Park Museum presents…”The Wall”

Archons ask DWBS for report on “state of hate” as SplotchWatch trial continues

Extinction Anxiety Clinic to open second location next year

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: in case you missed it, June recap

In case you missed it: May wrap-up

May 31, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Month Without MetaphorMay 1-15

The Barkettes at the Wishing Well: Tickets go on sale today!

Cynics to open Anixi Agrarian Jubilee

Gecko credits “stick-to-itiveness” for victory in 2015 Toe-Hair Contest

Noreen to be Barkettes’ special guest at opening concert in The Park on May 8

Barkettes triumph at sold-out concert

Barkettes’ set list disappears from theatre moments after concert ends

Alvin Tinamou to offer Month Without Metaphor advice daily on radio show

Month-Without-Metaphor-1024x810

May 16-31

Two rival Park chefs engage in war of words over award-winning artist’s work

Anselm Alpaca, former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist, dies at 19

Park Finance Office head Valentina Abeja to present 2016 budget in August

Lookin’ good feelin’ fine, lost those metaphors and your prose will shine. Whoops!

Park’s journalism failing us all: Dean

Delay over, Tab Tricolore’s “La Langue au Repos” to open at PMoCA June 6

Park Weather Makers make impassioned plea at Agrarian Jubilee 

Noreen to deliver commencement address at University of West Terrier

Fowl Ball face-off: Police to be stationed outside grooming houses this Sunday

Tinamou: “We’re ready to call it. Month Without Metaphor is a roaring success.

No rest for the judiciary: ruling to come on grooming house call for injunction

Does of Peace to attend at grooming houses, no ruling on matter yet: Dindon

Filed Under: Breaking News

Anselm Alpaca, former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist, dies at 19

May 18, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Anselm Alpaca

Anselm Alpaca: 1996-2015

BREAKING NEWS

Former Mammalian Daily reporter and columnist Anselm Alpaca has died.

In a statement released this morning, Alpaca’s family confirmed that he died “of natural causes” last night at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm. Alpaca was nineteen years old.

At the time of his death, Alpaca was working for The Equine Echo, but he spent the better part of his career as a reporter and columnist for The Mammalian Daily, where he was known as a “star.”

“He was the gold standard,” said Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas in a statement this afternoon. “He was extremely thorough, he refused to print anything for which he had fewer than four sources, and he gave everyone a fair hearing. There was no journalist like him at any paper in The Park. We were lucky to have him for so long.”

Even after his departure, Alpaca retained his friendships with journalists and support staff at The Mammalian Daily, many of whom describe him as “a great champion of Animals.”

Hamilton Snowcock of The Canary Courier agrees.

“He was on our side, no matter what species you were from,” he said. “He was just a great Animal who believed, above all, in fairness.”

Alpaca also taught part-time at the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism, where his students say he was always available for them and happy to give students as much time as they needed.

Alpaca leaves his mate Gillian and two sons, Ronald and Stanley.

Funeral arrangements are pending.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Passings Tagged With: Anselm Alpaca, reporter dead

In case you missed it: April wrap-up

April 30, 2015 By TMD Reporters

APRIL 1-15

Holstein Fashion lends its support to The Park’s striped and spotted citizens

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “A budget is a very emotional thing.”

Barkettes donate original Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed sheet music to Park Museum

Fowl Ball organizers on second annual event: “We are all systems go!”

Court date set, SplotchWatch owner Raimundo Zorro to face three charges

Food insecurity to become Park Animals’  biggest challenge: DWBS

Pro-election group finds support in renowned director Douglas Cheetah

Clementina Araña appointed head judge of 2015 Toe-Hair Contest

Barkettes’ first concert sold out: promotercow coffee reversed

Park innovators to watch: abSCENT

APRIL 16-30

Mating Dance to offer pre-registration to endangered species

New date announced for Park’s annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee

Prionailurus Press to promote the literature of the striped and spotted

KwikLiks: Park’s first “flash groomer” opens its doors

List of participants grows daily as May’s Month Without Metaphor nears

Police launch early morning raid on Sneak-a-Snuggle outside The Park

Sneak-a-snuggle refugees healthy and happy to be free: Hermione Hippo

Cynics to re-release Take the A Frame

Stereotype Sundays go bold: Hello. My name is Filthy Pig, Stupid Sheep…”

Follow Month Without Metaphor participants on Twitter during May

Park Historical Society calls for new, mandatory census within two years

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: April news

List of participants grows daily as May’s Month Without Metaphor nears

April 22, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Month Without Metaphor

Every day, more members of the media join Month Without Metaphor

The list of participants in Park media’s second annual Month Without Metaphor (MWM) continues to grow, as newspapers, radio and television stations, and even web sites sign on.

“We are very pleased with the growth this year. We are particularly pleased with the addition of the gossip web site headsNtales. I think their interest proves that this initiative is well worthwhile,” says Month Without Metaphor organizer Alvin Tinamou.

As of today, the new participants are :

Print Media:

  • The Silvestris Star
  • The Rodent Commoner
  • The Panther Post
  • The Salamander Evening Post
  • The Panther Post
  • The Insect Intelligencer
  • The Rodent Commoner
  • The Insect Intelligencer
  • Laulaa—The Official Magazine of the Canine Music Association

Radio Stations:

  • bRaydio 4
  • CLucK Radio
  • Chitter Radio
  • Marine Mammal Radio
  • Reptile Radio
  • Toro Talk Radio

Television Stations:

  • Maple Tree Television
  • Vertebrate Vision TV

Web Sites:

  • headsNtales

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Month Without Metaphor Tagged With: Month Without Metaphor, print media, radio stations, television stations

Tickets for first Barkettes’ “Bring Your Own Bone” concert go on sale today

March 28, 2015 By TMD Reporters

Barkettes ticket

NEWS FLASH!
Chew on this: Ticket sales for the first concert in Thisbe and the Barkettes’ ” Bring Your Own Bone,” tour go on sale at 10:00 a.m. this morning at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

In a text sent this morning at 6:00 a.m., the band’s manager Hilde Blaft confirmed that the first batch of tickets will be available for purchase today.

“Overjoyed to announce 1st concert date May8@Ancient Open-Air Theatre. Tix on sale@10 am.,” the text read.

The tour, presented by Iglu Entertainment, includes four concerts in The Park: two at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, one at the Wishing Well and one at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond. The Tartan Crab Memorial Pond concert will be free of charge.

Dates for the remaining three concerts have not yet been announced.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Thisbe and the Barkettes Tagged With: Bring Your Own Bone, concert, Thisbe and the Barkettes

Gossip site: SplotchWatch site shut down, owner arrested this morning

March 27, 2015 By TMD Reporters

headsNtalesThe controversial web site SplotchWatch has been shut down and its owner arrested, according to the gossip site headsNtales.

In a 10.00 a.m. posting, the gossip site said it had confirmation from The Park Police Force’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) that Raimundo Zorro, the site’s owner, was being held in custody until a court date was set.

The Mammalian Daily reported in December that Zorro’s site had been under police surveillance for almost six months. At the time, Park Police were not releasing the name of the site’s owner.

“Its only purpose, as far as we can tell, is to name Animals who have had their spots or stripes removed,” the SHCU’s Chief Inspector Maurice Addax said at the time.

Zorro, a disgruntled former journalist, writes on his web site that he believes it is in the interest of  “openness and honesty” to let Park Animals know who among them has altered their appearance.

The Park’s grooming house community publicly took issue with that belief, but police said they had no intention of acting against Zorro unless the site explicitly encouraged hatred or violence toward any Animal or group of Animals.

Numerous reports and studies have indicated that striped and spotted Animals do not receive equal treatment in The Park. In the Autumn newsletter of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS), the major grooming houses reported that stripe removal was their most sought-after service. Calling it a “disturbing trend,” they said the number of completed procedures had increased 190% in the past two years.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Gossip and Rumour, Park Life Tagged With: hatred, racism, specism, spotted, striped

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