
The basketball seen above was stolen from The Park Museum last night, police say
BREAKING NEWS
The basketball that belongs to Mammalian Daily sports columnist and balls specialist Bailey has disappeared from The Park Museum.
The ball—seen in the middle at the top of the display at left— was lent to the museum by Bailey and formed an important part of the “Flyball and the Importance of Balls in the Everyday Life of Park Animals” exhibit, which opened on May 8.
In a joint statement released early this morning, the museum and Park Police confirmed the overnight burglary.
“We regret to inform the public that The Park Museum will be closed today, as a result of an overnight burglary. Park Police will be on site for the duration of the day, gathering evidence and speaking to witnesses. Any Animal who has any knowledge of this crime or who saw anything suspicious in the area surrounding the museum yesterday afternoon, evening, or overnight, should contact Park Police right away,” the statement said.
All lands around the museum have been cordoned off for the investigation. A spokesAnimal for the police said they hoped to recover the ball as soon as possible.
“The first few hours are crucial and although the crime was not discovered until very early this morning, we are hopeful that we’ll be able to recover the ball intact today,” she said.






The Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) says it will boycott Friday’s annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee unless The Park’s technology sector comes to the table to discuss its concerns over the proliferation of food-finding apps.
Attention all participants in May’s Month Without Metaphor (and all those interested in the practice of journalism): Set your dial to AVN Radio (Radio 286.7) at 4:00 every day from now until June 1.
Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon usually keeps to himself, but this weekend we’ll be seeing his image everywhere, if a new pro-education group has its way.


