The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

On this Day—August 24, 2015: Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

On This Day—July 29, 2011: Park to host first media circus this weekend

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In an effort to acquaint citizens, residents, and visitors with the important work that they do, The Park’s various media outlets will host a circus this weekend at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

An open invitation, posted at the Wishing Well by Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), encourages “all Animals who reside, frequent, or visit The Park,” to come out this weekend to meet the press.

“[We think that] all Animals should avail themselves of the opportunity to meet those of us who work in the media, especially the reporters. These are the Animals who struggle against seemingly insurmountable odds and who put their lives at risk every day to bring back accurate accountings of goings-on, both inside and outside The Park,” van de Gier said in an interview on PBC Radio this morning.

The two-day event is the first of its kind in The Park. Every Park newspaper, magazine, radio, and television station will be represented in some form. In addition, the AMOP president said, there will be “fun and games” for both young and old. These will include a chance to “play reporter” by covering your choice of a mock trial at the Court House, a disease outbreak at The Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, or a play opening at the Burrow Theatre. Other mock events planned are hosting a radio interview, following a police chase, and rummaging through a celebrity Animal’s garbage.There will be many prizes awarded, as well, van de Gier said, and the top prize will be the chance to be interviewed on Toro Talk Radio by host Yannis Tavros.

For those who find the event so riveting that they are moved to make a career change, representatives of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism will be on hand to explain just what is involved in training for a career in media.

Who: Representatives of all Park media outlets
What: Media Circus
Where: Ancient, Open-Air Theatre
When: July 30-31
Why: Meet the press, ask questions, learn about media, play reporter, have fun

On This Day in 2011: One Human dead, reporter held for questioning outside Park

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Rporter ZeeZee Legy

The Insect Intelligencer has confirmed that reporter, ZeeZee Legy, has been held for questioning outside The Park in connection with the death of a Human late last night. The dead Human, whose name has not yet been released by law enforcement, was one of two who suffered injuries last week.  The other was released from hospital three days ago.

In a statement released early this morning, The Intelligencer’s editor-in-chief, Fannia di Volo, expressed her deepest sympathies for the family of the fallen Human and pledged the paper’s “full cooperation” in any investigation into the circumstances surrounding his death.

Reports claim that the two Humans fell ill suddenly outside their homes and were rushed to hospital.  Witnesses at the scene told police that five of the Intelligencer’s reporters were “hovering around” at the time and that at least two of them “had their probosces resting” on the Humans’ arms.

The five reporters fled the scene but were arrested inside The Park within hours of their return.  Only Legy remained outside The Park, where it was reported he had been visiting family while on vacation from the newspaper.

Legy, along with the other five reporters, work exclusively on the Intelligencer’s daily Fly on the Wall feature.  After the arrest of the five reporters, the newspaper’s publishers made the decision to cease publication temporarily.  The reporters were to have been formally charged on July 18, but a backlog in The Park’s court system has caused a delay in the matter.

The year of not writing well: Month Without Metaphor presents the words journalists across The Park would like to ban from media in 2019

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The staff at The Park’s Month Without Metaphor initiative (MonthWithoutMetaphor) has been working hard all month to gather the words and phrases that journalists and readers across The Park have submitted as items they’d like to ban from media in 2019. Director Priscilla Weevil says she was “gobsmacked” by the sheer number of submissions and the “intensity of emotion” that accompanied those submissions.

“There is clearly, across all media, the feeling that we are not serving our audience well,” she said.

Below are the most frequently-submitted words and phrases that Month Without Metaphor received:

Balbina Ko: The Mammalian Daily’s choice for Animal of the Year

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BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily has chosen Holstein Fashion president and CEO Balbina Ko as its 2017 Animal of the Year.

At a press conference at noon today, TMD managing editor Orphea Haas said the newspaper’s staff chose to honour Ko because of her ”leadership in both business and in the area of equality among the species.”

“Through her company and by her own efforts, Balbina Ko has served as a leader in The Park’s business community,” Haas said. “Over the past few years, she has proven what she believes: that those engaged in business should make an effort and can make a difference in the lives of those who feel they do not have equal opportunity. Since establishing the company’s charity, EQUALSS, she has fought tirelessly for the rights of The Park’s striped and spotted, and her company has raised a sizeable amount through its EQUALSS poduct line to support the charity and its beneficiaries.

The Mammalian Daily salutes the ongoing work of Balbina Ko and Holstein Fashion and wishes all citizens and residents of The Park the best in 2018.

“The Park Before YOU:” Zoocracy 35 mega project aims to inspire youth with a year-long romp through Park history

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zoocracy-35What began as a casual conversation between two University of West Terrier professors has grown into a mega project that they hope will arouse curiosity in young Animals about The Park’s past and inspire them to think more deeply about their own rôle in its future.

Called “The Park Before YOU,” the project is the brainchild of historian Beatrice Zilonis and Domoina Fossa of the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education. The multi-faceted, multimedia project was developed with funding from the Archons’ Zoocracy 35 Grant Program.

Using audio, video, live theatre, stand-up comedy, and even a half-hour original musical, the project will trace life in The Park from its very beginnings to the present day.

“We want this to be a rich, multidimensional experience for the young,” Zilonis said in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning. “We want to pique their interest and nudge them in the direction of curiosity, instead of herding them into a classroom to hear a lecture on the wonder of Animal self-rule.”

Although the project had its impetus in that casual conversation more than a year ago, the idea had been brewing in the minds of both professors, after results of several studies indicated that The Park’s young lacked historical perspective and weren’t very interested in zoocracy or politics.

“Delia Quagga [head of the UWT Barnaby School of Government] did a study that showed Park citizens are not as politically savvy as in previous decades and we both thought we wanted to nip that in the bud,” Zilonis said in her radio interview. “The last thing we want is for that lack of interest to be passed down to the next generation.”

The Park Before YOU will run an entire year and talks about a permanent installation are underway with both The Park Museum and the University of West Terrier, Zilonis said.

Tomorrow night will mark the project’s beginning, with the screening at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre of a series of animated short films about Animal self-rule.

This is not Ronald Grouse’s first Media Circus. But it may be his best

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media-circusDespite criticism that he’s been too hard on Park media this May, Month Without Metaphor director Ronald Grouse has received almost unanimous support from The Park’s journalism community for his efforts on behalf of tomorrow’s Media Circus.

The jam-packed event, which Grouse had originally planned as a two-day affair, had its origins in the 2011 celebration hosted by the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP). But the purpose of that event was far different from what Grouse has planned for tomorrow.

“I worked on that first media circus and I remember it fondly, partly because of the innocence of it all and its sense of openness. It was very pro-journalism. We were all proud of what we did and we wanted to share that with Park residents. We also wanted to encourage young Animals to consider a career in journalism,” he told The Mammalian Daily.

“But Park media have grown in the past six years, and we— as well as our audience— are suffering from our growing pains,” he said.

Tomorrow’s event, then, will be more focused on, as Grouse says, slyly using a metaphor, “righting the ship.”

“This circus is for all, but part of it is for our own edification. I think of it as holding a mirror up to ourselves. Journalists need to take a cold, hard look at what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and what results we’re looking for. I want to start an ongoing, thoughtful conversation about that,” he said.

Part of that conversation will include Grouse’s favourite topic, the language of manipulation. And our sneak peek into the media kit confirms that. The kit, which will be given out to all attendees, includes some of Grouse’s least favourite journalistic tools: metaphors, similes, trite expressions, and—best of all—heart strings that are meant to be pulled.

The irony isn’t lost on Grouse.

“Yes, the media kit is manipulative, but it’s all for a good cause, and that’s to do our jobs better,” he said.

“The kit illustrates what’s gone wrong and we hope it will spark some realizations. After all, our job is to present the facts as we know them, not to use words to manipulate the minds and hearts of our readers and listeners.”

The Park’s Media Circus will take place 31 May 2017 at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre, from 09:00 until 16:00.

MWM head takes on Park media for manipulating readers “like advertisers”

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mwm-posterRonald Grouse, the director of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor, has taken Park media to task over what he describes as the manipulation of their readership “in the style of advertisers.”

In a scathing editorial this morning, The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst criticized Park publications, calling them “complicit with advertisers” in their descriptions of products, places, and events.

Grouse, who has only been at the helm of the media initiative for a month, singled out The Rodent Commoner for its recent article on the shortage of burrows in The Park.

“The use of terms that evoke emotion, such as ‘home,’ ‘hearth,’ ‘shelter,’ and the invocation of ‘family,’ is inexcusable in a publication that is supposed to be dedicated to presenting unembellished facts,” Grouse wrote.

The MWM director didn’t stop at The Rodent Commoner. Using examples from almost every Park newspaper, he demonstrated the manipulation that has come to be seen as the norm.

“News media are not in the business of pulling heartstrings,” he wrote, apologizing in the next sentence for the metaphor. “News media are in the business of presenting the facts as they are known or have come to be known. We are supposed to allow the readers to make their own judgments, based on our presentation. We are not supposed to lead them to feel anything.”

Grouse concluded his editorial by saying that he is deeply disturbed by the growing willingness of publications to shill for companies without thought to the consequences.

“You can be sure that we will take this up further at the Media Circus at the end of the month,” he wrote.

Month Without Metaphor director “revises and remakes” Park media circus

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mwm-flyersFive years after The Park’s first media circus, the new director of Month Without Metaphor is about to “revise and remake” the event for a different purpose.

In an announcement this morning, Ronald Grouse confirmed rumours of his recent talks with Rodolfo van de Gier, president of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), who was in charge of the 2011 event. Grouse’s announcement said the two have agreed to work together on a “new kind” of media circus that will have an “altogether different” purpose, but it offered scant details.

“We are planning to host a two-day event toward the end of the month that will have the full participation of Park media. We also extended an invitation to The Park’s literary community, including writers, publishing companies, and journal editors, as well as representatives of the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Together, we are hoping to have a full and open discussion about the dissemination of information, the use of language and the responsibility of all those who are involved in communication,” the announcement said.

No exact times or locations were mentioned, nor whether the “fun and games,” such as playing reporter or hosting a mock interview, would be included in the new event.

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