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Ronald Grouse declares war on Metaphor, Hyperbole, and Manipulation

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mwm-posterRonald Grouse has declared war. But we’ll only be able to print that until Monday.

Just a few days before the start of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor (MWM), The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst and newly-elected MWM director held a press conference this morning in which he himself used the war metaphor. And many more.

“It’s time we declared war on some of the tools that media use,” he said. “We need to communicate better and more effectively. We need straight talk: just the facts, no hyperbole. And we need to stop manipulating our readers. Our job is to inform, not to perform,” he said.

Grouse, who has in the past criticized the direction in which Park media appeared to be headed, said he is looking forward to May’s event.

“I look forward to steering Month Without Metaphor toward success,” he said. “The challenges we face as Park citizens are serious ones that require us to be clear-eyed and open-minded. I hope to be able to engage the hearts and minds of readers and listeners and build momentum toward creating a more honest and open media that will help with the problems we face.”

Not just for the Birds: April’s Stereotype Sunday theme will be Avians

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flock-birdsThe theme of this month’s Stereotype Sunday will be Birds.

The announcement was made this morning in a joint press statement issued by the Archons and the Department of Well-Being and Safety.

“On April 30, we’ll have the opportunity to flock together at our monthly themed Stereotype Sunday. We look forward to seeing you there to gain new understanding and express our appreciation of The Park’s Avian population,” the statement said.

The statement also confirmed rumours that The Feral Four had accepted an invitation to speak at the event. The Feline band, who made a moving speech at the first annual Fowl Ball, has worked tirelessly over the past few years to rehabilitate the reputation of Felines vis à vis Avians, including donating a set of their song lyrics to the Feline charity, CatsCare.

Performances by The Canary Cousins, Banded Brothers, The Tweeters,  SCENTient Beings and Belles and Whistles were also confirmed in the announcement. Rapper Jargonhead, however, confirmed his own performance via social media.

Mating Dance pre-registration for endangered species begins today

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Giraffes at Mating DanceIf you’re a Park citizen or resident and a member of an endangered species, today is the day to start thinking about registering for the Mating Dance.

The Department of Well-Being and Safety’s reminder, issued this past weekend in a Park-wide media blitz, cautioned participants not to procrastinate. It also warned those intending to use the pre-registration option to expect longer wait times this year, as the popularity of the programme has grown over the past two years.

“When it [the programme] was instituted, we sensed a certain reluctance to participate on the part of those in the endangered community. There was a certain stigma attached to being part of an endangered spacies, but I think this programme, along with the [Endangered Species] Benefits Programme, and the wonderful work being done at the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, has changed that significantly,” DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo told The Mammalian Daily.

Pre-registration for the May 5 event begins today at ten o’clock at the DWBS offices. To take advantage of the full programme, which includes genetic and psychological counselling, all Animals must bring proof of their eligibility in the form of their membership in The Park’s Endangered Species Benefits Programme (ESBP).

Chitter Radio Literary Awards adds new category for 2017: speeches

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The Chitter Radio Literary Awards (CRLA) has added a new category to its already sizeable list of honours: speeches.

In a short communiqué issued this morning, CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán cited the need to expand the term, “literary,” and to continue to acknowledge the artistic elements of non-fiction as her reasons for adding the category.

“We need to continue to broaden our horizons and reward those artists whose work may not fit easily into the established categories,” the communiqué said.

Tucán, who has been CRLA director since 2015, began taking the awards in a different direction last year, when she allowed celebrity chef Tab Tricolore to serve his “Liberation Libation” to attendees. Though it was a controversial move, it illustrated what many call Tucán’s “sense of the bigger picture.”

“I’ve known Guadalupe for years and I know what she’s thinking when she does things like that,” said a longtime friend. “She believes that art and even literariness can be found as much in the mundane as in grand canvasses or great books. So, I’m not surprised by anything she does.”

Tucán said the category expansion is not expected to add more than a few minutes to the evening, which will be broadcast live on AVN Television.

The Chitter Radio Literary Awards take place June 15. Nominations will be announced in mid-May.

Hermione Hippo appointed head judge of 2017 Toe-Hair Contest

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Hermione HippoHermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest.

At a press event held this morning, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement:

“We are thrilled to announce that the very knowledgeable nurse Hermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said.

The veteran Park health professional is the head nurse at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm and also serves part-time as Assistant Professor at the University of West Terrier School of Medicine.

“Few others have Hermione’s expertise,” Kanariar said. “We are humbled that she has agreed to take the time to participate in the contest.”

In making the announcement, the longtime Director of Public Relations for the body that chooses the judges emphasized the importance of the position of head judge:

“The position is an important one because, should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity. And that Hermione Hippo has in spades,” she said.

Kanariar also announced the other four members of the judging panel: Cornelio Lantra, Clementina Araña, Quinta Caribou, and Rafael Ortega.

The Toe-Hair Contest, which is in its 22nd year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time on May 1.

It’s official: Abeja is out, search is on for new PFO head

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PFO Head Valentina AbejaBREAKING NEWS

Valentina Abeja has left the PFO building.

Or at least, she’ll be gone by April 30.

In a short statement this afternoon, the Park Finance Office confirmed the rumours of the past few weeks:

“The Park Finance Office wishes to inform all Park citizens that PFO head Valentina Abeja will be leaving her post as of April 30 of this year. We thank her for her work and for the integrity with which she oversaw the PFO and two Park budgets and we wish her all the best in her future endeavours.”

The PFO also confirmed that it has initiated a search for a new head and budget chief.

Abeja was appointed in February of 2015, after Milton Struts was unceremoniously relieved of his duties after a series of scandals involving Humans. She moved swiftly to unite the PFO and to prepare budgets that reflected the needs and concerns of Park citizens. According to an August 2016 poll by The Cosmopolitan Pest, Abeja is extremely well-liked and trusted and most Park citizens were hoping that she would continue to head the PFO.

“She may be the best-liked and best-respected PFO head The Park has ever had,” Inès Puceron, the magazine’s editor, said last week. “But her ideas do not reflect those of the present Chief Archon.”

Ronald Grouse to take over MWM’s Twitter account full-time on May 1

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mwm-flyersRonald Grouse, the newly-elected director of Park media’s Month Without Metaphor, will take control of the event’s Twitter account on Monday, May 1. He made the announcement yesterday while a guest on Toro Talk Radio’s Yannis Tavros show.

The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst was elected director of the annual event earlier this month and he replaces Alvin Tinamou, who was one of the founders of the initiative and who served as its director the past three years.

In an interview with The Eagle Star the day after he was elected, Grouse said he intended to expand MWM’s reach through the use of social media.

“I think it’s important [for the initiative] that we enter the public forum and explain our raison d’être,” he said. “I think Twitter is a good way to do that, to let readers and listeners know that they can have a say in the degree to which media manipulate them.”

Grouse said he would tweet on a regular basis throughout the month, as well as host live conferences with MWM’s Twitter followers. He also is booked to be a guest on a number of Park radio and television interview shows throughout May and he has been invited to be a Mammalian Daily guest columnist.

Park’s Avian population set to soar above other species: BirdBrains

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yellow-bird-soaring

The Park’s Avian population is set to soar above all other species, according to a report published last week by the Avian mentoring programme, BirdBrains.

The report, entitled, “Zoocracy After Thirty-Five: A New Avian Era,” analyzes a number of studies of the development of The Park’s Avian population in the years following the establishment of zoocracy.

According to these studies, Avians dipped in levels of education, employment, and entrepreneurship during the first decade and a half of zoocracy, when they were overtaken by other species, the large majority of which were Mammals and Fish. In addition, statistics from the Long Gone Registry confirm that the number of Avians who chose to leave The Park permanently grew consistently from 1995 to 2005. The first cohort set up homes and infrastructure in other areas, which encouraged an exodus in the years between 2001 and 2005.

But all that is about to change, according to the report’s authors and BirdBrains directors, Gwendolyn Goose and Henry Gander, whose late father, Cesar Emilio Gander, founded the Avian mentoring programme.

The average level of education in the Avian population has gone from the rudimentary level to intermediate, says Goose, with a significant increase in the number of Avians attending institutions of higher learning.

“This year, Avians will constitute the largest number of new students as well as the largest number of graduates,” Goose says proudly.

In addition, many more Avians have become interested in technology and, in turn, entrepreneurship. Goose and Gander credit their father’s vision, as well as that of the education initiative of the 2011 and 2012 Archons, with the change in the Avian mindset.

“Many more Birds are making the decision to stay here and get an education. They see opportunities that aren’t available outside The Park and they’re now reaching for the stars,” says Gander.

Kawena Palila is one of them. An alumna of BirdBrains, Palila credits the programme with helping her to realize her dream, the social media site gaggle, which went live last year. Palila says the programme helped her get funding and some extra expertise for the site, as well as encouraging her to “think Avian,” which resulted in a site “not for the individual, but for the flock.”

Goose and Gander say there are many more Palilas on the horizon and they look forward to mentoring many flocks of them in the coming years.

Back by popular demand: PMoCA’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” returns Sunday with special guest Ingolf Ewald

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pmoca-1The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) made a surprise announcement this morning: its ARCHONOGRAPHY installation, which broke all attendance records during its initial two-month run, will reopen this weekend. And, it will host a special guest: renowned artist Ingolf Ewald.

Ewald, who is known for his painting, “Plumpen Rolletariat,” last visited The Park in August of 2015, when he opened the PMoCA’s “Art of the Domestic Feline” exhibition.

The ARCHONOGRAPHY installation, which the museum describes as “ultra-live,” is a tribute to the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy. It honours those who’ve served in The Park’s government over the past thirty-five years by having Park artists paint portraits of Archons chosen by museum-goers. All twelve hundred portraits completed thus far hang in the museum and they will do so until the end of the year.

This second iteration of the installation will differ slightly, according to head curator Aamuun Maroodiga’s announcement today. The artists will be on-site only eight hours a day instead of the previous twelve, and the installation will run from Sunday, April 16 until May 1, after which the museum will close to make preparations for its next major exhibition. Ingolf Ewald will be painting portraits of Archons from April 15 until April 21.

The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” will reopen on Sunday, April 15 and run until May 1, 2017. Admission to the event is free. 

Footpad Heaven braces for onslaught of shoppers at Sunday’s clearance sale

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Footpad HeavenCome one. Come all. Come early. And be prepared for long lineups and security at the door. But, remember, there’ll also be treats. And music.

That is what manager Adamma Bandicoot has been telling her clientele for the past few weeks when they’ve asked about the shop’s annual clearance sale.

Even though they’ll be selling last year’s stock, as they always do at this annual sale, Bandicoot says she’s sure they’ll sell out early this year.

“We’ve got prime stock for sale, and even though it’s technically last year’s, it’s brand new and some of the most coveted items we’ve ever sold,” she says.

Bandicoot, who traces her ancestry back to the shop’s founder, sculptor Josiah Bandicoot, is particularly proud of the line from Holstein Fashion. That includes some of the designs that were seen in the fashion show last year during Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), as well as their regular line of paw coverings and stick-on striped and spotted toe pads. There are also a few items for sale from the collection honouring Zuberi Tembo, the Endeka Elephant Band’s late bassist. Bandicoot says she held back a few things from each collection just for this sale, but she warns that making them yours will take some time and patience.

If that’s not for you, there will be an express line for FP’s signature toepads and other accoutrement for which the shop is famous.

“We like to think w have something for every Animal,” Bandicoot says. “After all, we’re in the business of making our customers happy.”

Who: Footpad Heaven
What: Annual Clearance Sale
When: April 15, 7:00 a.m until closing time

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