The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2014—Despite thirty-plus years of zoocracy, many Park Animals still yearn to be “King of the Jungle,” new study finds

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Lion


A new study out of the University of West Terrier reveals that some Park Animals still yearn to “lord it over their fellow citizens.”

A new study out of the University of West Terrier reveals that, despite more than thirty years of anticipatory zoocracy, some Park Animals still yearn to lord it over their fellow citizens.

The study, which was conducted jointly by UWT’s Departments of Political Science and Psychology, involved 35,000 Animals resident in The Park. Over a period of four years, researchers investigated the attitudes of different species toward zoocracy and other forms of Animal self-rule, as well as those Animals’ beliefs regarding the intelligence and abilities of other species. Researchers also logged attitudinal changes that took place as both the Animals in the study and The Park’s political system matured.

The findings will no doubt create controversy, say the study’s lead researchers, psychology professor Dr. Luule Aednik and Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds UWT’s Simian Chair in Political Philosophy.

“Co-operation isn’t necessarily inherent or part of the makeup of some classes of Animals or some species,” says Aednik. “Sometimes, it’s a matter of education to get them to that point and sometimes it takes more than just a gentle nudge.”

For his part, Marmoset expressed a degree of dismay at the findings, even though he says he was not entirely surprised.

“As I have said many times, zoocracy is a new phenomenon and a fragile one. There are bound to be those who are still uncomfortable with it. We must work to ensure that it survives and that it, ultimately, thrives,” he said.

The full results of the study will appear in the April issue of the prestigious Journal of Experimental and Reactive Psychology (JERP).

OTD in 2017—Tavros scores interview coup with zoocracy founder’s biographer

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3d-tabby-king-1Yannis Tavros has scored a major media coup by booking an exclusive, pre-publication interview with the author of a new biography of The Park’s first leader.

Yoshita Tigru will join Tavros on his Toro Talk Radio show on Friday, February 10, to discuss her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King. Four days later, The Park will celebrate the anniversary of Jor’s birth.

In the new biography, which is bound to spark controversy when it hits the shelves on February 15, Tigru claims that The Park’s revered first leader considered establishing a form of monarchy before he fixed on the idea of  zoocracy, or complete Animal self-rule.

Tigru, who was allowed full access to all the extant papers of George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert (Jor), including the entirety of his sister’s diary, The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat, cites his sister as a “major force” behind both his political aspirations and his political decisions.

“There is no doubt that her rôle went far beyond that of a sounding board or even an advisor,” Tigru has said in the past.

This view aligns with that of another of Jor’s biographers, Daphne D.S. Katze, whose 2014 book, Jor: The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Cat, claims that it was Jor’s sister who turned his attention away from “simple Feline pleasures” to the idea of promoting harmony among the species in The Park.

Katze, who had only limited access to Zoë’s historical tome, has said recently that she was envious of Tigru’s unfettered access, but would “absolutely” trust her interpretation of what she read.

Free tickets to Tigru’s February 26 book launch are available at The Literary Apothecary. The launch will begin with a short reading at two o’clock, followed by a Q&A session and paw printing.

OTD in 2016—Directors’ Guild ousted me as prez due to my politics: Douglas Cheetah

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Douglas Cheetah photo

Renowned director says his politics led to ousting by the Park Directors’ Guild

BREAKING NEWS

Renowned director Douglas Cheetah claims he was ousted as president of the Park Directors’ Guild (PDG) because of his vocal criticism of The Park’s political system and especially because of his opposition to the continuation of sortition as a method of selecting The Park’s governing body.

“My politics offended them [the PDG) and for that I am not sorry. But the issue is that political beliefs have nothing to do with my ability to serve effectively on behalf of The Park’s directors,” Cheetah told host Yannis Tavros of Toro Talk Radio yesterday.

The director, who is best known for his award-winning film Black Cats Can’t Jump and for a moving and insightful documentary about an interspecial family, became a spokesAnimal for The Park’s pro-election group, Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) last April.

“The only way that I can see to stop the ongoing erosion of the principles of zoocracy is to establish a system in which we choose our leaders directly,” he said at the time.

The Park Directors’ Guild has made no comment on the situation other than to announce that Varden I.W. Spaniel will replace Cheetah as president on the fifteenth of this month. Spaniel is best known for his film, Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed, for which he received the Golden Cap, the Guild’s highest honour, in 2009.

OTD in 2016—Focus On: Archons’ Address

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Annual Archons' Address

Why is the Archons’ address so important?

The observation of Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts record crowds annually.

But modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well. Park citizens, eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address, the first speech given by the 35 newly-selected Archons.

Let’s focus on the Archons’ address.

THE ARCHONS: WHO ARE THEY?
Each cohort of thirty-five Archons constitutes The Park’s government for a period of one year. The individual Archons hail from every species of citizen in The Park and they are chosen each year through the process known as sortition (lottery).

While their names are announced on January 15, they make their first appearance before The Park’s citizenry on January 16, the day on which they are sworn in. After the ceremony, the Archons go into seclusion and are neither seen nor heard from until Groundhog Day on February 2.

HOW DO THEY DECIDE WHAT TO SAY IN THEIR ADDRESS?
During those sixteen days, the Archons have a chance to get to know each other and to discover each other’s attitudes and opinions regarding the direction in which The Park should move. Economic, social, and health-related issues are the subject of robust discussion and it is through this process of discussion and debate that the Archons develop their agenda for the year.

Ideally, this agenda (which literally means “things to be done”) should address Park citizens’ most pressing needs and concerns. When the governing collective has made its final decision on the important issues that it will address during its tenure, it is ready to draft the Groundhog Day speech.

WHY THE SPEECH IS IMPORTANT TO PARK CITIZENS
Park citizens know virtually nothing about the members of their new government, even as they watch them being sworn in. While many may be acquainted with them personally, it is not likely they know with any certainty where these Animals stand on the important issues that face The Park.

As the Chief Archon reads the speech, she or he reveals the concerns and beliefs of the governing collective and lays the groundwork for the changes that it will attempt to make over the coming year.

That is why the Archons’ address, given on Groundhog Day, is so important to Park citizens.

WHAT PARK ANIMALS ARE LISTENING FOR
The Archons’ address does more than simply list a number of items that are of concern to the Archons or that they hope to act on during their tenure. The speech sets the tone for the new administration and for the relationship it will have with Park citizens.

What Park Animals are listening for are indications that the Archons are not only in tune with their concerns but that they will be open to input from the citizenry. Most who reside in The Park would agree that this is what makes good government.

OTD in 2017—Mark your calendars for these important February events in The Park

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mark-thisFebruary is a busy and emotional time in The Park and this year it will be especially so, as we continue our year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

waking-groundhogFebruary 1: Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day!
Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until the weekend, with all the partying you’re going to do! And make sure you look your best, at least at the start of the celebration, by booking some time at any of The Park’s finest grooming houses.

groundhogdayscheduleFebruary 2: Groundhog Day
This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear the POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) tell us what the weather has in store for us and then we’ll hear from the new Archons about what our government has in store for us! Festivities start at 7:00 a.m. and go on forever and ever, with the food stations open a full twenty-four hours (8:00 a.m. on February 2 until 8:00 a.m. on February 3).

And don’t forget the Early Risers’ after-party and the after-after parties after that!

groundhog-day-blowoutFebruary 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales
Whether or not 2017 POPS Ditmar Bosmarmot sees his shadow, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1, as well as all day on Groundhog Day, too!

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowFebruary 8: Book release
As we reported late last year, 2017 will be the year of the political book and two of the most important ones will be released this month. The first will be The Fierce Urgency of Miaow, historian Pieter N. Paard’s much-anticipated analysis of Jor and the Feline roots of Animal self-rule. Look for it in Park bookstores after February 8.

3d-tabby-king-croppedFebruary 10: Yannis Tavros interviews Jor’s biographer Yoshita Tigru
Hailed as a media coup, Yannis Tavros’s guest on his February 10 Toro Talk Radio show will be Yoshita Tigru, author of a new and controversial biography of The Park’s first leader. She’ll be discussing some unknown facts about Jor just four days before we celebrate the anniversary of his birth.

February 14: Anniversary of the birth of JorJOR
He was our first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. This year’s full-day holiday will be devoted to his memory and to celebrating our future as a zoocratic Park.

Hieronymous Hedgehog February 19: Official End of Hibernation
Let’s celebrate survival! It’s time to welcome back our hibernating friends. As Hieronymous Hedgehog, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, would say, bring on the food! And in case you have any questions, here’s a handy guide to welcoming home those who’ve been in a state of torpor.

Keeper of the NutFebruary 20: Return of the Nut
This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year, it will be 2017 Keeper of the Nut Sunniva Muldvarp who will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

OTD in 2014—Tavros to host third annual “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday

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YannisTavros


Yannis Tavros will host another “Pundits’ Parlour” on Toro Talk Radio this Monday

For the third year in a row, Yannis Tavros will host Toro Talk Radio’s “Pundits’ Parlour” on Monday, February 3.

Manfred Stier, spokesAnimal for the radio station’s programming director, confirmed today that The Park’s best known political pundits will again have the chance to express their views on our incoming government on Tavros’s popular show.

“Yannis [Tavros] will once again relinquish his usual talk show format to moderate what has become a very popular annual forum,” Stier said.

This year’s guests include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, UWT Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces, UWT Professor of History Beatrice Zilonis, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Other participants include Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post, and Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct Professor of Human Studies.

OTD in 2006—Census Day declared amid Animal protests

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Amid protests from a number of Animal groups, Park officials kicked off their “Wee Paws” census campaign today, in the hope of persuading Animals to “count themselves in” and help Park Archons obtain an accurate reckoning of residents in The Park.

Yet, despite their good intentions and a planned media blitz, members of the Park Census Office may have a tough time convincing many Animals of the benefits of a head count in The Park.

“They can count me in as a citizen, but I don’t think I should have to declare my species,” said Nathaniel Warthog, as he marched, protest sign in hand, in front of the Wishing Well.

“Jor [The Park’s first leader] would never have pitted one Animal against another like this.”

It is just this fear—that, in the future, Park officials will use population statistics to limit the number of certain species in The Park—that has made many Animals reluctant to participate in the census.

Park officials say, however, that there is no reason to fear that results from the census will be used against any Animals.

“We need to know the total number of Animals, and the numbers of different species so that we can provide services for them. We’ve been working ‘blind’ for years, and that’s just no way to govern a Park,” said a spokesAnimal for the Census Office.

15 Karpos (June) 25 AZ (2006) has been designated as official “Census Day,” but the deadline for the submission of questionnaires is the first of Azafran (July).

Participation in the census is voluntary.

OTD in 2015—Full schedule of events released for 2015 Groundhog Day celebrations

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2015 ScheduleThe Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has released the Official Schedule of the 2015 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a press conference held early this morning, Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, announced plans for what the department has dubbed the “most jam-packed” Groundhog Day celebrations ever.

“We’re making history this year with a new, expanded version,” Kanariar said, beaming.

Those who attend the celebrations annually will note several additions to this year’s festival. Between the much-anticipated Archons’ Address and the super-celebratory Groundhog Day Parade, the department has scheduled a dance performance by the Herman Stoat Dance Company and a short play performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company.

“We are extremely proud that these companies accepted our invitation to perform at the celebrations. We think these additions will make for a much more inclusive festival,” Kanariar said.

She also hinted that this year’s parade will have not only a larger number of floats, but that some groups have “updated or expanded” their presentations.

One of the most important aspects of the Groundhog Day celebrations is the food and this year, Kanariar said, the department decided to extend the hours that the food stations will be open. Five full hours have been added, which will take the entire festival into the evening for the first time.

“It’s part of our commitment to inclusiveness. Some Animals are up and about in the morning and others take a little longer to get going. And some take afternoon naps. We want all Park Animals to be able to enjoy what is one of the most important holidays on The Park’s calendar,” she said.

And, for the second year in a row, the events will be covered live by Mammalian Daily reporters on Twitter. The live coverage can be followed here.

OTD in 2015—”It’s about the message,” say protesters as standoff continues at TMD offices

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Park Police Riot Squad

The standoff between protesters and The Mammalian Daily has entered its third day

As the standoff between protesters and Mammalian Daily editors enters its third day, the reasons for this historic protest are becoming clear.

“Primarily, it’s about the message you’re sending, particularly with that photograph of Gunnar]Rotte],” says Dedrick Knaagdier, Media Relations Representative for The Park’s aid group, Rodents at Risk.

Knaagdier has been in attendance at the protest since the beginning, though he wasn’t among those who started it.

“They weren’t even Gunnar’s friends, but they saw the injustice and the way the paper was manipulating the message and they couldn’t take it anymore,” he says.

“Gunnar made a legitimate complaint but it was overshadowed by that photograph.”

The photograph in question shows Rotte holding two pies that he says he purchased at a bakery outside The Park. His complaint was that he had been assaulted at the bakery while trying to buy the pies.

“The way the photograph was taken, it makes it look as if he’s a thief,” says Knaagdier.

“He looks as if he’s smiling … as if he got away with something, rather than he did his duty [by paying] but was treated terribly. The photograph just plays into the stereotyping of Rodents … something they experience on a daily basis.”

Despite attempts by all major Park media to contact Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas, no official statement has been made, nor has the name of the photographer been revealed.

“They’ve said nothing, not even ‘We stand by our story,'” says Knaagdier.

OTD in 2015—Breaking: Police called to growing protest outside Mammalian Daily offices

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Park Police Riot SquadBREAKING NEWS
Just hours after the swearing-in ceremonies of the 2015 Archons, Park Police have been called to the offices of The Mammalian Daily as a large protest against the newspaper grows outside the main door.

“We don’t know what it’s all about yet, but the protesters all appear to be holding the same photograph of [Rodent Commoner reporter] Gunnar Rotte,” said Officer Gareth Shepherd, minutes after arriving at the scene.

Witnesses who had been there earlier said the protest began with two Rats who were holding signs and shouting profanities, calling the newspaper “specist and petty” and threatening to destroy it.

“I thought they were friends of Gunnar [Rotte], but they said they didn’t even know him. It was the principle that mattered … and the paper had broken faith with its readers,” said Marcellus Wolverine.

Log onto mammaliandaily.com for new details as this story unfolds.

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