The Mammalian Daily

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Archives for January 2024

OTD in 2016—UWT receives funds for new study of premature awakening from hibernation

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UWT COATThanks to an anonymous donor, the University of West Terrier will be able to fund a third study into the causes of premature awakening from hibernation.

In an announcement on the University’s web site, the President and Governors thanked the “anonymous donor whose generosity and empathy knows no bounds.”

“The University is deeply grateful for the funding and wishes to thank the anonymous donor whose generosity and empathy knows no bounds. We are confident that your generous donation will save countless lives and your effort on behalf of hibernators will become a shining example of the power of interspecial caring,” the announcement said.

The donation, which came via the Foundation for the Study of Premature Awakening will fund a thirty-six-month project. The project leaders and venues have yet to be announced, but it is believed that the bulk of the research will be done at the University’s School of Medicine.

The University’s full announcement can be read here.

OTD in 2016—Park shops get green light to stay open Groundhog Eve, Groundhog Day

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Groundhog Day specialsIn a stunning reversal of its longstanding policy, The Park Finance Office has given businesses the green light to remain open late on Groundhog Eve and into the early afternoon on Groundhog Day.

The news was announced simultaneously this morning by PFO head Valentina Abeja and by Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

In a separate announcement, Whistlepig praised Abeja for her willingness to listen and for her “forward thinking.”

“We are extremely pleased that the PFO has listened to our concerns and shifted its position on this issue. Groundhog Eve and Groundhog Day are not just a time for us to come together and celebrate. They hold enormous economic potential and we are grateful to the PFO’s forward thinking head for the opportunity to demonstrate that fact,” Whistlepig wrote.

In a radio interview this morning, Abeja said her decision to change the policy was based on practicality.

“In the past, we believed that if we allowed our shops to stay open, it would somehow take something away from the celebration of Groundhog Day. But after significant study of the issue, we came to the conclusion that that would not be the case,” she said.

Abeja also stressed the need for the PFO to view economic issues through the eyes of those on “the front lines of business.”

“It is our job to support Park business, not to stand in the way of opportunity.”

OTD in 2013—Focus on: Groundhog Day

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A major Park occasion, Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts hundreds of thousands of Animals annually. And modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well: Park citizens and residents, who are eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address—the first official speech given by the thirty-five newly-selected Archons.

ORIGIN AND HISTORY
 In the beginning, there was the Groundhog. One of The Park’s founding families, the Groundhogs staked out their territory in the prairie lands of The Park long before zoocracy was established.

As more Animals began to inhabit The Park, the Groundhogs settled into their rôle as Park Elders. Oftentimes, it was the Groundhogs who were consulted in Park matters, particularly those of weatherly import.

The First Prediction
The first prediction of weather in The Park was made on 2 February, 65 BZ (Before Zoocracy), by E. Bromley Groundhog. It was a casual prediction, made without fanfare, outside E. Bromley’s burrow. He predicted an early Spring. The Spring of 65 BZ arrived on 5 March. The present year is 2022 (40 AZ — After Zoocracy).

The Tradition
The following year, E. Bromley Groundhog made another prediction on 2 February. It, too, was an accurate prediction. In short order, it became an informal Winter tradition for Park Animals who were not hibernating to call on E. Bromley at his burrow in early February in order to hear his prediction for the coming Spring.

This went on until 57 BZ, when a delegation of Animals attended at E. Bromley’s burrow, only to discover that the venerable Groundhog had succumbed to old age. The delegation, at a loss for what to do, quickly appointed E. Bromley’s daughter and son to the post of “predictors.” In alternate years, the Groundhogs served as accurate “predictors,” until their children took over the job.

Eventually, the growing number of E. Bromley’s descendants caused there to be competition for the respected post of “predictor.” The Groundhogs began to engage in territorial wars and slanderous campaigns. In order to quell the rising tide of Groundhog anger, Park Archons decided to establish the title of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) and to award it, every year, to their own choice of E. Bromley’s descendants.

The Controversy
Animals evolve. Politics evolve. New blood refreshes tired, old organs, old assumptions no longer seem viable, and old rules no longer hold sway. In 2003 (21 AZ), a group that called itself “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” brought forth a legal challenge to The Park’s age-old practice of awarding the job of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) to the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog.

The Decision
In his landmark decision in that case, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court wrote that “The Park’s current practice [of awarding the job on the basis of heritage] is unacceptable in a modern Park.”

Peabody Q. Groundhog was allowed to fulfill his duties as 2003 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring. Thereafter, the Judge ruled, the position would be decided in an open election held every year on 7 November. The date of 7 November was chosen as the date of the election because it allowed sufficient time for the winner to make preparations before the official hibernation date of 17 November.

Groundhog Day Today
Much has changed since the first elections were held for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). Since 2006, The Park has welcomed the candidacy of Animals of other species and many believe it is only a matter of time before a non-Groundhog POPS makes the all-important prediction on February 2.

From the Personal to the Political
Groundhog Day has been an important occasion and a full-day holiday in The Park for many years. But, in 2005 (23AZ), the newly-selected Archons chose The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations as the venue for their first official speech. Since that time, each new set of Archons has chosen to reveal its plans for the coming year in a speech given by the Chief Archon at the Groundhog Day celebrations.

Further Reading
For more information on The Park’s Groundhogs, we recommend:

Me and My Shadow: A Groundhog’s Memoirs
by Nigel T. Groundhog
Birch Bark Books, 200 pages

From The Mammalian Daily’s review
“This is not a book about family pride… It is a deeply-felt and honestly-written portrayal of the trials of Animal migration, of the pain and loneliness of specism, and of the exquisite joy of success and acceptance after many years of frustration. In a Beaverlike fashion, the author gnaws away at Groundhog stereotypes and lays bare for us the burden that is borne by the prescient mammal.”

For the full review, click here.

The archival material used in the preparation of this article was made available to The Mammalian Daily by the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP). We thank them for their generosity. We also gratefully acknowledge the assistance of members of The Park Historical Society, Gertrude C. Owl, Dean of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, University of West Terrier, the Department of History, University of West Terrier, and the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP).

OTD in 2016—ZEAL calls for full investigation into dispute over Gourami Archonship

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ZEALPopular Park singer ZEAL has called for a full investigation into the dispute over Zafran Gourami’s Archonship.

On January 16, Gourami was sworn in as an Archon after being selected through the usual procedure of sortition. Ten days later, a Form 15C was submitted to the Department of Political Administration (DPA) disputing Gourami’s eligibility to serve.

ZEAL took to TMD Radio this morning to call on all Park Animals to “dispute this dispute.”

“This is an outrage and the reason for this dispute is obvious,” he said. “Gourami is a striped Fish and this is just another example of the subtle ways in which striped and spotted Animals experience prejudice and unequal treatment in The Park.”

To further his cause, ZEAL initiated a petition calling for the DPA to nullify the dispute and to move on with the business of governing The Park. The first to sign the petition was award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah; the second was Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

Cheetah’s signature came as no surprise. Last year, he announced that he had lost faith in sortition altogether and believed that free elections were “the only path to true equality among the species.”

As for Yamaneko, she has become a vocal supporter of striped and spotted Animals and announced in April that her company would be showcasing the work of these writers.

The Department of Political Administration has not responded to ZEAL nor acknowledged the petition. DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi confirmed on Tuesday that a panel will review the reasons for the dispute and render a decision by February 1.

OTD in 2017—Fleck + Stone to host information session on 2017 Prognostication Pad

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Groundhog Day celebrationsFleck + Stone, the high-end architectural firm hired by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations to design and build the 2017 prognostication pad, will host an information session for Park residents this weekend.

In a short press release this morning, the firm’s Chief Architect, Vadim Kobras, invited all Park residents to the information session which will be held on Saturday afternoon at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

“It is of utmost importance to the Fleck + Stone team that Park residents be in possession of all the facts surrounding the 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad,” the press release said. “We will be happy to answer any questions about the design and execution of this important piece of equipment.”

Although it didn’t directly address the controversy over the assumed high cost of the pad, the press release did imply that Park residents would see its value:

“The Fleck + Stone team is incredibly proud of the work it has done to help celebrate Groundhog Day in this very special year. We are confident that Park residents will be receptive to our design and will appreciate its uniqueness.”

The press release cum invitation ended with the words, “We were honoured to have been chosen for this job and we remain committed to supporting The Park and zoocracy in any way we can.” It was signed by the Chief Architect, himself.

According to sources close to the firm, Kobras will speak generally about the pad and building materials and go over some of the designs the team considered before fixing on the one that was built. No illustrations of the actual pad will be revealed, but Kobras is said to have also prepared a talk that deals with the history and significance of the prognostication pad.

The final design will be revealed in the early morning hours of Groundhog Day.

OTD in 2016—Department of Political Administration confirms Gourami Archonship in dispute

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Form 15CThe Department of Political Administration (DPA) confirmed today that it is reviewing the selection of 2016 Archon Zafran Gourami.

In a statement issued this morning, DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said that one Form 15C was submitted yesterday. The department’s statement did not name the Animal who submitted the form.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XIII, of The Park’s Constitution, Park citizens who wish to contest the selection of any Archon or Archons may do so by submitting a formal contest form (Form 15C) to the Department of Political Administration by January 31.

Although this law has existed since the institution of #sortition, very few Form 15Cs have been submitted. In an interview this morning on the Yannis Tavros show, Fourmi said that in the past ten years, the DPA has received only seven Form 15Cs.

“And, of those, only one resulted in a change of Archon,” she said.

Zafran Gourami was sworn in as Archon on January 16, 2016. The reasons for the dispute will be reviewed by a panel that will include members of the DPA, Chief Archon Raymond H. Mink and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. The final decision will be rendered by a majority vote. Should a reason be found to replace Gourami, that replacement will be sworn in on February 1.

OTD in 2014—Millicent Hayberry in conversation: My Groundhog Day

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MillicentHayberry YOUTUBE sizeGroundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s celebration of the prediction of the Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) attracts tens of thousands of Animals annually, making it one of our most important occasions.

Today, The Mammalian Daily speaks to actress Millicent Hayberry about her recollections of Groundhog Days past and her feelings about future celebrations. This interview was conducted at the end of November 2013,  just before Millicent Hayberry went into hibernation.

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TMD: Millicent, how important was, or is, Groundhog Day to you and your family?

MH:  Groundhog Day has always been a special event in my family. It’s always had a special meaning to us.

We’re hibernators, of course, but we’ve always made a point of getting up and out on the second day of February to greet the celebrants and to hear the Groundhog’s prediction. I can’t recall a year that we didn’t do so and I can’t imagine a year that I wouldn’t do so.

TMD: How is Groundhog Day different now? Or, is it?

MH: In some ways, it’s tremendously different, in the way that we celebrate it, although it still keeps to its basic function and idea, which is to predict the future and to celebrate our survival.

In the old days, there wasn’t nearly as much fuss about the day as there is, today. Now, almost all of us hibernators decorate our burrows before we settle in. My next-door neighbour hangs ribbons and flags outside his burrow. Every year, I choose a different colour to decorate with and then I add splashes of that colour on my door, on the floor of my burrow, even on my bedding. When I finally settle down for a good Winter’s sleep, I drift off while thinking about all the delectable food that they’ll have ready for us on Groundhog Day. And that is one of the differences.

TMD: How so?

MH: When I first started attending the celebrations, there was no fancy food and there were no food tables. We had what they called a “food exchange.” Everybody brought something they’d made and they shared it with the others. It was wonderful. And enlightening. And it was a way of getting to know about your neighbours and about other species. There’s nothing like food to bring Animals together. Or to rip them apart, of course. But the wonderful thing, in those first years of zoocracy, was that we were really trying to get to know each other and to make zoocracy work. We had a lot invested in it.

TMD: Do you miss the celebrations of those bygone days?

MH: Do I miss them? Sometimes, I must say, I miss the simplicity of them. Groundhog Day was a small celebration, then. There weren’t such large numbers of Animals attending in those days. You can’t have that kind of simplicity with so many Animals in attendance. But, these days, members of all species attend the celebration and I think that’s a wonderful thing. And, so, Groundhog Day has become one of the high points in The Park’s social calendar and I wouldn’t trade that for all the simplicity in the world.

TMD: Getting back to food for a minute, do you feel we’ve lost something by having the event catered and not providing the food ourselves?

I do not. We are so fortunate in The Park to have such an abundance of comestibles, even with a relatively short growing season. And this fantastically large celebration gives our many great chefs the chance to showcase their skills. It’s a wonderful opportunity for everybody! And, I have to say, that nutritious and innovative cuisine they serve fuels my dreams throughout hibernation.

TMD: When you were young, how did you prepare for hibernation?

MH: When I was a young Chipmunk, hibernation preparation was the most exciting time of the year. Now, it’s Groundhog Day that’s become the focus, but preparing for hibernation is still exciting and I still think about those early years with great joy.

Around the middle of October, my littermates and I would begin our daily food-gathering excursions with Mother. We’d hunt for acorns and nuts and seeds and any other delicious food we could find that would fit in the food storage chambers of our burrows. We’d gather everything up in a big basket, which Mom would carry for us. Every night, when we got home, Mom would divvy up the supplies and we’d scurry off to our own burrows to fill the storage chambers. What fun it was! There were five of us and we were very competitive with each other. Each one of us wanted to have the fullest chamber. Mom knew that desire would motivate us, so she never discouraged it. But, after the food gathering was over, she made sure we all had the same amount of food in our burrows.

TMD: Do your litter mates still live in The Park? Will they be attending the festivities this year?

MH: Three of my litter mates live in The Park. One moved east, but she visits regularly. The four of us here will, indeed, be attending as a group this year. And I look forward to seeing Mammalian Daily reporters there, too.

TMD: And we look forward to celebrating with you and your family, Millicent. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk with us. 

MH: It was my pleasure.

OTD in 2016—Photos of Park Animals in hibernation “very disturbing,” say police, DWBS

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Artist's rendering of Animal in hibernation

Artist’s rendering

The emergence of a cache of photos that show Park Animals in various stages of hibernation is “very disturbing,” say Park Police and the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS).

The photos, which likely were taken by cameras installed secretly—and illegally— in hibernators’ burrows, were posted last night on the gossip web site headsNtales.

PotWatcher, The Park’s foremost web-watching organization says the pictures appeared “without fanfare and without any mention of their provenance or their authenticity.”

“They appeared serially, about one every half-hour,” says Rufus Gordon Gaupe, President and CEO of PotWatcher.

Not surprisingly, the photos have gone viral despite a police order that headsNtales remove them from the site.

Cornelius Kakapo, DWBS Director of Public Relations, confirmed the department was notified after Gaupe reported the postings to police.

“To me, it’s not just a breach of privacy; it’s a breach of trust and a threat to interspecial harmony,” Gaupe told The Mammalian Daily.

Park police agree with Gaupe and are initiated a “full investigation” that includes staff from the Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) and the Interspecial Investigations Unit. They have also set up a special hotline and are appealing to all Animals who think they might have seen anything related to the crimes or who know any Animal who might be involved.

“We want to talk to any Animal who has any ideas about this,” says SHCU Chief Inspector Maurice Addax.

The Park Police Hotline number is: 226-887-4277.

OTD in 2012—Chitter Radio rescues literary awards

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Chitter Radio, one of The Park’s most popular talk radio stations, has brought The Park Annual Literary Awards (PALA) back from the brink.

At a press conference this morning, Chitter President and C.E.O., Albana Ketri, confirmed that Radio 244883.7 (known as Chitter Radio) would assume full financial sponsorship of the Awards.

“We are delighted to announce that Chitter Radio will be the exclusive sponsor of the 2012 Park Annual Literary Awards. We look forward to forging a strong connection with the Awards and see this as a great opportunity to promote literacy both inside and outside The Park,” she said.

The Awards had previously been supported by The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, but budgetary constraints forced it to renege on its promise of funding for the 2012 season.

At the press conference, Ketri emphasized that Chitter Radio considers its association with PALA to be both a “privilege and a responsibility” and stated that Chitter Radio is “unequivocally committed”  to maintaining the high standards and integrity with which PALA is associated.

The Park Annual Literary Awards take place 15 June.

OTD in 2010—Cynics’ digital re-release tops charts

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Munch on this: Park recording artists, The Cynics (a.k.a. Philosopher Dogs) appear to have made a spectacular comeback with the digital re-release, this month, of their debut recording, Eat Your Food.

The group, which was certified by the Canine Music Association in 24 AZ, released two recordings during their first year, Eat Your Food and Take the A Frame. Sales of both recordings were “extremely strong, especially for newcomers”, says CMA President, R.F. Aarrf. But that success was not matched by their next release, No Dogs Allowed. Their next two recordings, Long Cool Human and S.I.T. were considered to be flops in terms of sales and many feared that the group would be unable to secure another recording contract.

Experts in the business side of music claimed the problem was a matter of timing and was caused by the music-buying public’s shift away from strident political statements.

“The Cynics were born of a political movement…if not an anti-Human movement, then, definitely, a questioning of Human-Canine integration. Unfortunately for the group, this came on the heels of a very strong conciliatory movement, both inside and outside The Park. Suddenly, no one wanted to hear about an interspecial struggle; they wanted to listen to tunes telling happier stories. And that wasn’t what the Cynics had to offer.”

Aarrf doesn’t believe that the group’s recent success signals a deterioration in Human-Canine relations. Instead, he thinks, it may indicate a cautious re-thinking of Humans’ place in The Park.

“I think Animals are taking a step back, paying more attention to their history, maybe, before they jump, with all four feet, into anything [with Humans] that might jeopardize their rights in the future,” he says. “And, so, they may be listening to the [Cynics’] lyrics more attentively than before.”

The Cynics, for their part, have made no public comment about their turn of fortune. According to their representative, no concerts are scheduled “at this time,” but the group is working on a new recording, to be released later this year. The title of that release is Do Clause.

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