A group of researchers at the University of West Terrier has succeeded in pinpointing the location of harrumphocytes in Mammals, it was announced today.
This new information will enable us to turn harrumphocyte production on and off, thereby giving Mammals more control over their lives.—Dr. Jagger Zebu, Professor of Mammalian Studies, University of West Terrier
“We are so excited about these results,” said Dr. Jagger Zebu, Professor of Mammalian Medicine at UWT’s School of Medicine, at a press briefing at the university this morning.
Dr. Zebu, who oversees the team of researchers, said the breakthrough will offer a much-improved life to Mammals everywhere.
“This new information will eventually enable us to turn harrumphocyte production on and off, thereby giving Mammals who suffer from a harrumphocyte imbalance more control over their lives,” he said.
He and his research team have spent the past ten years studying harrumphocytes, the cells that are believed to be responsible for producing feelings of primary apathy and secondary negativity in Mammals. For the last five years, they have been trying to locate the centre of harrumphocyte generation, which they now believe to be the plithern in Mammals.
“Harrumphocytes in Mammals are distinct from those in other classes of Animals,” Zebu says. “It’s been very difficult, given the wide range of species and variations in size, for researchers to accurately locate their centre of generation.”
The group’s findings will be published in the May issue of The Park’s prestigious scientific journal, Eureka.