Archives for August 2025

OTD in 2013—GooseBook’s fortunes fall on news of PIFF 2013 shutout

August 19, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

GooseBook’s fortunes fell on Friday after Thursday morning’s announcement that cackle-enabled devices will not be lent to filmgoers this year nor will they even be allowed inside the Park Cinema during PIFF 2013’s Noon Nuttiness screenings.

The social network site, which is the parent company of cackle (as well as peck), stood to add to its financial base through a group of private investors who had planned to support the company in its new endeavours. But after Thursday’s announcement by PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot, the group withdrew its offer of support, a spokesAnimal for the investors told The Mammalian Daily.

“The group [of investors] does not feel that the time is right for them to invest in GooseBook. Unfortunately, Park Animals continue to associate the company with the violence that broke out during the 2012 Noon Nuttiness screenings, even though the company was not involved in any way and publicly condemned the violence. Although the group is supportive of GooseBook, it has decided to hold off allying itself with the company until such time as GooseBook is able to repair its relationship with the public,” the spokesAnimal said.

Although some financial experts regard the loss of these private investors as “sounding the death knell” for GooseBook, the company’s CEO and President, Lester C. Gander said in a statement today that he is confident the company will find the support it needs “from both the public and investors.”

GooseBook was the brainchild of the late Cesar Emilio Gander, who founded the site while a student at the University of West Terrier. After his untimely death in 2009, as a result of a collision with a passenger aircraft, Lester Gander assumed the position of CEO and President. With Gander at the helm, the company has grown and the membership of all three social media sites has tripled in the past year.

OTD in 2006—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Football

August 18, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Today’s ball is the FOOTball.

The football has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as a domestic tool, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe the football was first used by the Cave Dog in his attempts to keep the cave door open.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the first footballs were products of the potter’s craft. Scholars at the University of West Terrier who have examined shards found in recent digs believe that these first clay footballs were built by hand and fired in a simple kiln.

Cave paintings depicting the Cave Dog receiving visitors suggest that the football was used in the ancient Canine hospitality ritual of leaving the door ajar to welcome guests. Many scholars believe the first kick of the football occurred when the Cave Dog moved the ball in order to secure the cave door.

As rocks began to be used in the hospitality ritual, the football became less of a tool and more of a toy. Retaining its original earthen colour, the football has provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Canine Prehistory: Society and Ritual; The Cave Dog’s Guide to the Sporting World; Daily Life in the Ancient Canine World, Volume 3: Balls; The Canine Picture Book of Balls; The Educated Ball Owner’ s Guide to the Good Life; Various Newspaper Articles and Reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

OTD in 2012—Reminder: Park Art Walk

August 17, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The organizers of the 6th annual Park ART Walk (PAW) request the honour of your presence at the following event:

Park ART Walk
Saturday, August 18, 2012
10:00 am – 7:00 pm

The Park ART Walk is a one-day, juried art exhibition that showcases the artistic expression of Park residents. PAW showings will take place at participating art galleries, retail establishments, and at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

For more information on this year’s event, please see: INtRT

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The Park ART Walk wishes to thank its sponsors:

The Nutbar LeTwiggery Amoltrud’s Aesthetics

Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations

The Tabby Club
Marine Mammal Bank Sapsucker Savings and Loan You’ve Earned Your Stripes™

OTD in 2015—Barkettes announce collaboration with Noreen on new song called “Yield!”

August 16, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Barkettes’ will base their new song “Yield!” on Noreen’s 2015 UWT commencement address

BREAKING NEWS
Less than a week before the final Park performance of their “Bring Your Own Bone” tour, Thisbe and the Barkettes have thrown us a bone of our own: the announcement that they plan to collaborate with Noreen on a song based on her 2015 University of West Terrier commencement address.

In a press release issued this morning, The Park’s most beloved singing group confirmed that they have entered into an agreement with the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct professor of Human Studies for the creation and production of a new song called, “Yield!”

“Every bit of Noreen’s speech was so moving and showed so much wisdom,” the group writes in the release, “but the part called ‘Yield’ touched us like no other. It echoes what we–individually and as a group–have believed in and stood for all these years. It cried out for recognition and we felt we could not refuse it.”

The press release did not offer any time frame for the creation or production of the song but, according to the gossip site headsNtales, the group has booked a recording studio in The Park for the last two weeks of November.

OTD in 2012—Feral Four donate song to help formerly domestic Cats

August 15, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

One of The Park’s most controversial musical groups, The Feral Four, has announced that it will donate the proceeds from its new song to the CatsCare Foundation, in aid of formerly domestic Cats who have found their way to freedom in The Park.

The song, which will be released as a digital download in the late Autumn, is titled, “I Saw Your Collar in the Hall”. No other information has been released, either by the group’s manager or by its record company, Colony Records.

The group, who is set to release a new collection of songs next year, is also working with The Canary Cousins, Eggie and The Pigs, The Beasts of Burden, Les Chiens Débraillés, Scentient Beings, The DomEstyx, The Endeka Elephant Band, NIML, and rapper Will.o.be. on The Park’s first interspecial song.

OTD in 2014—Data from Long Gone Registry reveal cracks in Park’s refugee aid system

August 14, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Data suggest that Park refugees are not receiving effective aid

Statistics compiled for The Park’s Long Gone Registry reveal that close to a fifth of the refugees who seek a better life in The Park leave within five years of their arrival.

The Registry, which was established to provide accurate population and participation records, began to collect data in the Spring of 2013 from The Park’s educational institutions, the Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, private physicians, and refugee aid organizations.

Much of the data collected relate to the movement (both in and out of The Park) of refugee Animals and, according to those who work in The Park’s immigrant aid groups, the data indicate a number of troubling trends.

“To begin with, these numbers show a lack of integration in the refugee aid system,” says Angus Deerhound, media relations representative for Runaway Rovers.

“We only know about their arrival if they seek help from one of our aid groups and it’s obvious that we aren’t keeping track of those we do manage to help. If they don’t show up again [at our offices]…unless we’ve found them housing…we don’t know if they’re still with us or have left. That’s not help. It’s temporary relief,” he said.

Talia Katsikas, founder and director of the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company agrees.

“To be honest, this is not news. We’ve known about this forever. And part of the problem lies in the full freedom that we grant all Animals who enter The Park. Most of us would find it offensive if we required Animals to report their comings and goings. So, we have to find a better way to encourage that voluntarily. And, so far, we haven’t put much thought into it,” she says.

The Long Gone Registry falls under the jurisdiction of the Department of Statistics and Records. At the time of this article’s publication, no response to The Mammalian Daily’s request for comment has been received from the department.

OTD in 2015—Park Museum, ISML end feud over ownership of beloved tome

August 13, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park Museum will host a permanent display of The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat

The Park Museum and the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life (ISML) have ended their long battle over the establishment of a permanent home for one of The Park’s most iconic literary works.

The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat has been housed in a protected display in the lobby of the ISML since it was recovered in 2013 by workers excavating at the site of what is now The Park Museum. It had previously been displayed at the front of the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, until a storm toppled the display and it went missing.

Because the excavators brought their precious find to the Institute for verification, the ISML decided to keep the beloved Park tome and to display it in the Institute’s lobby. Early last year, however, as The Park Museum neared completion, its Board of Governors initiated a series of meetings with the ISML aimed at convincing them that the museum was the only logical place to house the AutoZOËography on a permanent basis.

“Every one of the 6,975 pages of her book is a part of Park history and the citizens of The Park deserve to be able to visit the work in the building that was constructed to house our history,” Sukuta Rhinoceros, one of the founders of the Museum and a member of its Board, said at the time.

The ISML held fast to its view that it had the sole right to display the work until last week, when the two institutions came to a “joint custody” agreement.

“We are happy to report that both The Park Museum and the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life have agreed to act as joint official custodians of The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat, one of the most important works in Park history,” said a press release issued today by both institutions.

The agreement, which will be signed next week, names The Park Museum as the book’s official home, but allows it to be moved to the ISML for one month every Winter for the purpose of display and study. Throughout the other eleven months, the ISML will display a facsimile in the space that it built for the book two years ago.

According to sources close to both institutions, the agreement was hammered out late Sunday night, with the assistance of the Park Historical Society and members of a number of faculties and departments at the University of West Terrier.

“All parties are pleased with this agreement and we plan to move forward with the logistics as soon as possible,” the press release says.

The Park Museum’s press release may be read here.

OTD in 2013—Group claims responsibility for Park’s mountain of garbage

August 12, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The anti-tourism group NoPARKing has claimed responsibility for the mountain of garbage that is obstructing access to The Park’s northern entrance

The anti-tourism group NoPARKing has claimed responsibility for the mountain of garbage that is obstructing access to The Park via its northern entrance.

In a statement released this morning, NoPARKing president Emmanuelle Musaraigne said that she and her group are proud of the work they have accomplished so far on behalf of The Park’s citizenry.

“It took our members all night to build this mountain of garbage and we are confident that this concrete representation of the damage that unrestricted [Human] tourism can do to The Park will change the way both residents and government see this issue,” the statement read.

Constructed entirely of garbage left in The Park by Human tourists, the mountain rises 30 metres high and stretches across 50 metres.

Park Police were notified of the “mountain” shortly after dawn this morning, a spokesAnimal said.

“We immediately attended at the site and confirmed the incoming reports. Shortly thereafter, the group in question confirmed their involvement and we took steps to halt any further construction at the site,” the Police spokesAnimal said.

Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, said neither the Archons nor the Park Finance Office had any plans to alter the 2014 Budget, which awarded 3% of the total to the promotion of tourism.

“While we take our citizens’ concerns seriously, we have no plans at this time to alter our vision for the future of The Park,” Alouatta said on behalf of the Archons.

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OTD in 2014—The more things change, the more Humans stay the same: Noreen

August 11, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

“Humans are unable to incorporate lessons from previous generations.” – Noreen

The more things change, the more Humans stay the same.

So concludes Noreen in her second academic article due to be published in the November issue of the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB).

In the article, which is entitled, How Dubious Wisdom Leads to Human Folly, the Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier and Mammalian Daily advice columnist shares new insights into “what makes the Human world go around.”

“Around is the key word here, my research showed me,” says Noreen.

“After spending the better part of two years studying Human history, I had to conclude that their [Humans’] tendency to end up where they started is the fault of their inability to learn from their predecessors. They cannot seem to incorporate lessons from previous generations,” she says.

“They are a tenacious species and there is much to be admired in that. But they appear to be true catalysts. They change the world, but they remain unchanged. And, as we have seen, that can lead to long-term problems for all species.”

Noreen said she found the research very difficult to do, “because there were so many places along the way that cried out for a change of course, but that change of course was never taken.”

Buy Noreen’s book, Lovely to Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans here.