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Archives for August 2025

OTD in 2013—The Promise of The Park: should we still believe?

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The Promise of The ParkEDITORIAL
Over 31 years ago, the Animals who were resident in The Park took to the water, to the streets, and to the skies to celebrate the unlikeliest of events: the return of a piece of land to those who had inhabited it from its earliest days.

Though that victory was hard-won, we remain proud that it was not hard-fought. It was Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, who declared that self-government should be achieved without violence.

“It is by the strength of our numbers and not of our teeth and claws that we will win back what is rightfully ours,” he proclaimed.

And so he led thousands of Animals out of the darkness of danger and subjugation into the light of peace and autonomy. Incorporating his long-held beliefs and newly-acquired understanding, he established a code of laws that he hoped would enable all manner of species to prosper, to find happiness, and most importantly, to live together peacefully in The Park.

But, even more than that, Jor established The Park as a sanctuary. The Park, he declared, would be a place where all Animals would be welcome, no matter who they were or whence they came, whether they were threatened or abused or simply seeking a new home. It would be a place where all Animals would be entitled to equal treatment and opportunity. And a host of opportunities there would be, for all who arrived here and for their descendants. This lofty goal was enshrined in law and it came to be known as “The Promise of The Park.”

Time has removed some of the shimmer from that promise, as time is wont to do. There have been breaches; infractions have been brought to light, the economy has become stagnant. And questions have been raised about our ability to live up to Jor’s ideals.

Questions are good. Questions lead not only to answers, but to insights. And they enable us to see ourselves as others see us. We should never be afraid of questions. But do we need to question The Promise of The Park, itself?

We don’t think so.

While law, The Promise of The Park is still an ideal, a goal, an aspiration. It is a work in progress, something that requires both regular tuning to work properly and respond to environmental changes and daily vigilance to ensure its safety in a hostile and uncertain world.

When The Promise is threatened, whether from outside or from within, our belief in ourselves and in our abilities is threatened. But our belief in The Promise never should be. Nor should we succumb to these threats; instead, we should renew our commitment to the ideals that are the foundation of The Park’s laws.

The Promise of The Park is intangible, but real. And we believe.

OTD in 2015—BREAKING: Raimundo Zorro found guilty of two of three charges; sentence to be announced next week

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Raimundo Zorro

Raimundo Zorro: guilty of inciting hate

BREAKING NEWS
After a three-week trial, Raimundo Zorro has been found guilty of two of three charges stemming from his ownership and management of the SplotchWatch web site.

Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court rendered his decision at nine o’clock this morning before a packed courtroom. Prior to announcing the verdict, however, the Justice spoke at length about the privileges and responsibilities of zoocracy and about the kind of Park that our founder, Jor, envisioned.

“The types of activities that Raimundo Zorro engaged in are the very antithesis of what Jor imagined for Park citizens. The Park was founded on the principle of interspecial harmony and we accepted as our duty not only the upholding of this principle but the flourishing of it, as well.

Raimundo Zorro attempted to destroy The Park by undermining this very foundation. He pulled a thread that, for a short time, set the unravelling of our social fabric in motion. But while we have succeeded in stopping him, we must remain vigilant. All manner of threats against zoocracy and interspecial harmony exist. Many of these come from outside, but it is those that thrive right here inside The Park that we should be most concerned about. We must use all our resources to guard against their proliferation,” he said.

In the end, the Justice found Zorro guilty on the two charges of inciting hate, but he said he found no evidence for the third charge of inciting discord.

“Zorro did his best to plant the seeds of hatred by exposing the survival techniques of Animals who were vulnerable to certain prejudices that exist in The Park. But I don’t believe that, as yet, he had gone as far as attempting to provoke discord or violence. Whether that would have happened had he not been stopped is a moot point,” his written judgment says.

Outside the courtroom, Zorro stood silent beside his lawyer, Pernilla Varghund, who refused to answer questions regarding an appeal.

A sentencing hearing is scheduled for next week.

OTD in 2012—Archons, PFO blasted over Human Direct Investment in Park

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Human giving the boot to the food requirements of Park Animals

An investigation has concluded that Human Direct Investment (HDI) in The Park is responsible for some of the food shortages that Animals have experienced over the past year.

The investigation, which was conducted over a twelve-month period by The Park Police Force’s Undercover Operations Unit (UOU) revealed that, in January of 2011, the sitting Archons, in conjunction with the Park Finance Officers, agreed to “rent” out portions of The Park’s farmland to Humans for their personal use. The agreement explicitly allowed for use of the land for the purpose of growing food for the exclusive consumption of Humans.

“There was no stipulation as to sharing the harvest or any discussion, as far as we know, of their [the Humans’] reinvestment in The Park,” said UOU head B.N.L.Valerian Beetle at a news conference held this afternoon.

“This was a bad deal, all around,” said A.P. Civet, President of The Park’s Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio following the news conference.

“These so-called allotment gardens were given over for cash only, without any thought to the consequences,” she said.

It is because of those almost certain consequences that Park Animals find themselves in a state of fear this Summer, as they look at the likelihood of a truncated harvest and face the possibility of not being able to feed themselves from Park lands alone.

“Importing food is something we try to avoid at all costs…and primarily because of the cost of doing so. But, with our growing population and with the Archons not looking out for Animal welfare, it’s almost a certainty that we will have to do just that this year,” Civet said.

See also: Food production scandal rocks Park

Others in The Park, even more critical of the agreement, have turned their anger toward the Park Finance Office.

“I don’t know what they were thinking,” said A.J. Babirusa, president of the newly-formed activist group, Take Back The Park (TBTP). “You can’t eat money. They should know that,” he said.

Babirusa’s group has launched a lawsuit against the PFO, accusing it of illegally selling the rights to farmland without the consent of Park citizens.

“Archons come and go,” Babirusa said. “But the PFO should know better. They’re in charge of our welfare…or so we thought,” he said.

OTD in 2015—Pro-election group urges Park Animals to take next step in zoocratic evolution

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Ballot BoxThe time to make the transition from sortition to elections is upon us, says the head of The Park’s foremost pro-election group.

At a rally held last night, Antoine Lézard, president of the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP), urged Park Animals to join him in bringing about what he called the “next natural step” in the evolution of zoocracy.

“The time has come. The time is now. The era of choosing our government by lottery is over,” Lézard told the crowd of approximately five thousand at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

Flanked by renowned director Douglas Cheetah and former Archon Transition Team member Blandine Okapi, both relative newcomers to the cause, Lézard presented a list of economic, social, political, and emotional arguments for the establishment of free elections.

“All mature societies choose their governments by votes cast in free elections. After more than thirty years, can we not call ourselves mature and take the next natural step in the evolution of zoocracy?” he asked, as he concluded his speech.

Although Lézard’s words were met with great enthusiasm by the crowd, a recent survey conducted by the Department of Political Administration found that while almost fifty per cent of Park citizens think some form of change in the political system would be helpful, only a small minority —approximately thirteen per cent—believe that the establishment of free elections is the answer.

Despite this apparent resistance, Lézard maintains there is “something in the air.”

“I feel it, I hear it, I sense its unmistakeable odour. Park Animals want change, whether they will admit to it or not. Our governing structure is in a state of torpor and it has lost its ability to respond to its citizenry,” he says.

OTD in 2014—Beasts of Burden to hold pre-festival open mic night at pub they own

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The Draft sign

Beasts of Burden to host open mic at pub

Come one, come all! And bring your instruments, too!

The Beasts of Burden are planning to hold a pre-festival open mic night on August 31st at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that is owned by the musical group.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, the band wants to give Park residents a chance to “warm up” in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which they founded last year.

“It’s a party … to celebrate a party,” Herder said.

All Animals are welcome to join in the fun, but the Beasts request that those who wish to play or sing add their names to a list that will be posted outside the pub on Wednesday morning.

“It will be a great time but be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder says.

“And, if we find some unknown Park talents, we will invite them to perform at the festival.”

 

Beats of Burden logo

Open Mic night at The Draft on 31 August: Doors open at 6:00 p.m. 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival: 12-14 September

OTD in 2015—Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

OTD in 2013—Douglas Cheetah to host “Cheetah Chat” during PIFF 2013

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Renowned director Douglas Cheetah will host a chat and Q&A with film lovers during PIFF 2013.

Renowned director Douglas Cheetah will host a chat and Q&A with Park film lovers this October during PIFF 2013, it was announced today.

“We are pleased to announce that Douglas Cheetah has agreed to participate in a live chat and Q&A at the Park Cinema, following the debut screening of his new documentary,” PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot said in a statement released this morning.

The chat, which has been dubbed the “Cheetah Chat” will be held live at the Park Cinema but will also be carried online, to allow those not able to attend to ask questions of The Park’s most celebrated director.

Cheetah, who is best known for his controversial 2007 (25 AZ) film, Black Cats Can’t Jump, has spent the last few years working on a documentary about the inner workings of the interspecial family, which he says he discovered exists both inside and outside The Park.

The film, entitled, Clutch, Flock, Litter, Pack: Relationships in the Age of the Interspecial Family, will screen October 2 and 4 at the Park Cinema during PIFF 2013.

The Cheetah Chat will be held on October 2.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs from October 1-5, 2013.

OTD in 2016—UWT group to Rotte: Learn how to do social experiments or leave them to us

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UWT COAT

As Gunnar Rotte ended his sojourn at The Park Jail on Friday, a group of University of West Terrier professors was joining forces to lecture The Rodent Commoner journalist on the ethics of conducting his so-called social experiment.

Rotte, who was arrested for disturbing the peace and jailed for inciting violence at The Park’s Stereotype Sunday on August 14, was freed on bail on Friday. He claims that he attended the event dressed as a Skunk as part of a “social experiment” to determine which Animal’s life was easier: that of a Rat or that of a Skunk.

The reporter, who began a second career last November as a counsellor at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, rose to fame in December 2014, when he published an editorial contending that his own species suffered more but received far less sympathy than striped and spotted Animals. Since then, he has made it part of his mission to enlighten Park citizenry about the lives of Rats and other Rodents.

But the UWT group, which includes Chief of Research at the UWT Medical College Simone Gibbon, psychologist Hume. T. Goat, Milada J. Goose, head of the Honking Hollow Laboratory, and Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy, among others, thinks Rotte should go back to school first and learn how to conduct an experiment properly. Or, better yet, leave the social experiments to them.

In a statement released this morning, the group praises Rotte for his passion, but calls on him to leave the academic studies to those who know how to conduct them.

“While we understand your passion and your position, we implore you to think twice before embarking on something that could benefit few, but hurt many,” the statement concludes.

Rotte has not commented on the group’s statement as of yet.

OTD in 2015—Budget 2016: Analysis and commentary

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Since their unveiling on Tuesday afternoon, The 2016 Park Expense Projections have been met with an enthusiasm not seen in the past few years. Many citizens have praised PFO head Valentina Abeja for presenting a “thoughtful” budget, while others, who may have had unrealistic expectations, have said they’re satisfied, if not outright pleased.

The Mammalian Daily had the opportunity to speak with Abeja after her Tuesday afternoon press conference. Since then, our financial, social, health, weather, and education experts have pored over the figures. We present here a point form scoring, as well as analysis and commentary:

budget 2016

  • Overall Score: 7
  • Business Support: 7
  • Research Support: 7
  • Healthcare: 4
  • Immigration and Refugee Support: 4
  • Safety and Security: 4
  • Education: 8
  • Quality of Park Life: 8
  • Environmental Impact: 10
  • Look to the Future: 10

It was a difficult budget to score fairly since, to Abeja’s credit, it took into consideration many important items for which, in the past, expenditures have not been allocated.

The Mammalian Daily gave a score of seven to items such as support for business and for research. This may seem harsh because, heretofore, there has been no budget allocation for either. We are mindful, as well, that funds are limited and we have high praise for Abeja for setting aside any funds at all. Within that framework, then, a score of seven should be seen as an overwhelmingly positive one.

Abeja said on Thursday that scrapping budget funds for tourism was high on her list and that she met with little opposition to the idea. We agree completely with this decision. Those funds have found their way into other areas that will surely benefit Park citizens more than tourism ever can.

We were alarmed at the reduction in funds for healthcare. No longer a big ticket item, Abeja has designated only eight percent of the budget for what is now termed “health and well-being.” This is an eleven percent reduction from the 2014 budget. Abeja explained that some of the healthcare funds have been re-allocated to the areas of research, food production, weather, water, and business support. After extensive consultation with health professionals and with The Park’s food and weather makers, Abeja said she decided that spending now on items that will prevent illness in the future was the best route to take. The wisdom of that decision remains to be seen, but with a constantly growing population, we are somewhat skeptical and, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for healthcare.

We were puzzled, as well, at the two percent reduction in funds for immigrant and refugee support. Abeja pointed out to us that she had doubled the funds for education, which she believed would relieve some of the burden on I and R services. She also claimed that support for Park businesses would help new Park residents support themselves financially. Once again, that remains to be seen, but since some immigration services, such as the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, receive healthcare funding, we are dismayed at the reduction of both. We, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for immigrant and refugee support.

Most notable to some in The Park was the reduction in security funding. While the 2014 budget allocated a full twenty-three percent, Abeja has reduced this to fifteen percent. Many feel she has taken a big chance by making this move. Abeja seems to be counting on her spending in other areas, such as education, arts funding, and special events, to produce peace in The Park. Recent statistics have proven, however, that certain kinds of tensions are escalating and we question whether Stereotype Sundays will be enough to keep them at bay. As well, we believe the reduction will likely over-burden volunteer peacekeepers such as the Doves and Does of Peace. For this reason, we gave the budget a score of four for safety and security.

On its own, the doubling of funds for education seems a wonderful and timely idea. While we gave the budget a score of eight for education, we remain cognizant that some of that funding came from areas that should not have seen their funds shrink. The results of this re-allocation remain to be seen.

Abeja adjusted the figures for arts and sports funding this year, equalizing them at four percent and allocating six percent for special events. We cannot quibble with this and, therefore, gave the budget a score of eight in this area for overall quality of life in The Park.

In terms of environmental impact, this budget works very well. By allocating funds directly to weather, groundskeeping, water, research, and food production, Abeja has managed to use over a third of the budget to ensure The Park’s environmental health and longevity. For this, coupled with the de-funding of tourism, which had a detrimental effect on our environment, we offer high praise and a score of ten.

Finally, whether all the changes that come with the 2016 budget work in the long run, Abeja has made every effort to ensure that this a forward-looking budget and for this reason, we have given it a score of ten in this regard. She has supported research and the environment and looked to secure a future in The Park for our citizens and residents. For this we commend Abeja and her team at the Park Finance Office.

OTD in 2015—PIFF extends deadline for submission of films to PIFF Pockets category

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Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) has extended the deadline for the submission of short films to the 2015 PIFF Pockets category.

In a statement issued this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot confirmed that the new date will be September 25, giving filmmakers an extra four days to edit and submit their films.

Ocelot gave no specific reason for the deadline extension, but said in the statement that it was decided on the basis of “fairness to all.”

Pocket films are generally defined as films that do not exceed three minutes in length. To qualify for the PIFF Pocket category, films must have been made specifically for the Festival and must have their first screening at the Festival. Both pocket documentary and pocket fiction films are eligible for submission.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs 1-5 October 2015.

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