The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

OTD in 2014—Park Museum poaches PMoCA curator

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Park Museum

Dorika Pumi has been appointed head curator of the Park Museum’s art gallery

One of the most prolific and adventurous curators the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) has ever employed has been poached by the Park Museum.

In a controversial move that some say bodes well for its future, the soon-to-be-opened Park Museum confirmed in a press release yesterday that Dorika Pumi will assume the position of head curator when the Park Museum opens in January.

In an announcement on the Museum’s web site, the Board of Governors called Pumi’s appointment, ”one of many milestones along the road to the realization” of the Museum. The press release also included praise for her work.

“We are honoured that she has accepted our offer and we look forward to nurturing a long and fruitful relationship with her,” it concluded.

Pumi, who is best known for her 2013 art installation How Much Was That Doggie in the Window? was also responsible for the Museum’s K-NONical Kismet exhibit and the controversial but well-received series of sketches entitled, Better To Be Lost Than Loved.

Read the Park Museum’s press release here.

OTD in 2016—Hire causes ire: Groundhog Day organizers take flack for Fleck + Stone

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jgroundhogdayThe Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has become the object of the public’s ire since announcing yesterday that it had hired the architectural firm of Fleck + Stone to design the 2017 prognostication pad.

According to Park Police, officials at the department began receiving hate mail and threats shortly after their morning press conference, during which they introduced the firm’s chief architect Vadim Kobras, and discussed the size and style of the new pad.

“Within hours, the department received an onslaught of written [hate] material, which they reported to us. We immediately deployed officers to the scene and an investigation of the material is underway at our forensic laboratory,” Inspector Maurice Addax of the Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) told the press this morning.

Police believe the negative reaction is due to the perceived expense involved in hiring the high-end firm, which is known for designing buildings of cultural import such as the Burrow Theatre and The Park Museum.

Perhaps in anticipation of that, members of the press received a fact sheet yesterday that outlined the costs of the prognostication pad and other accoutrements deemed necessary for the popular annual event. According to those figures, the cost of this year’s pad will be only slightly higher than last year’s.

Still, optics matter, says Park Finance Office head Valentina Abeja, whose last budget reduced the funds allotted to special events by two percent.

“If they’d asked me, I would have told them to hold off for a year or, at the very least, talk about the cost first. Animals who are struggling to make a living have a hard time understanding why we need a posh pad to celebrate Groundhog Day,” she said.

OTD in 2011—Inktvis and Krake perform at annual Snowbird sendoff

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Inktvis and Krake, the current darlings of The Park’s musical scene, performed before a packed crowd at last night’s Snowbird Farewell. The pair played alongside The Canary Cousins and the rap group, The Tweeters, marking the first time in Park history that non-Avian musicians have been invited to perform at the annual festival.

“We were delighted that they accepted [our invitation],” said Arabella Hawk, spokesBird for the yearly event.  “The more species that come out to participate in our celebration, the more the Avian citizens of The Park feel the love. It helps us to know that we’ll be welcome when we return in the Spring.”

The aquatic pair performed a selection of songs and instrumentals from their earlier recordings as well as their current hit, 3 Hearts, 1 Head. As the festival drew to a close, they returned to the stage to sing backup for The Canary Cousins during their encore of Life is Tweet.

 

OTD in 2016—Stan the Spitman speaks out about the use and misuse of his product at PIFF

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Park Interspecial Film FestivalLess than a week after the end of the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF), Stan the Spitman is speaking out about the unlawful use of his product at PIFF events.

In an op-ed piece published today in The Burro Beacon, Estanislao “Stan” Gonzalo de Llama condemned in no uncertain terms what some Animals did with his product at the film festival. And he let it be known that he intends to put a stop to it.

“I am proud of what I make and I don’t make it to be used to attack others, particularly others whose species or politics differ from my own,” he wrote in the newspaper.

The second generation SpitMeister (master of the art of spitmaking) was referring to the repeated use of spitballs at the screening of WINK, which opened the festival on October 1. Police charged twenty-one Animals with crimes of a specist nature after they threw spitballs at the director and other attendees as they entered the Park Cinema.

Although Stan has never condoned that sort of behaviour, he expressed a different view about it in Searching for the Spitman: A Journey Through Foam, Froth, and Fun, a film about his life that premiered at PIFF 2015.

In that film, he estimated that ninety per cent of his products go toward humiliating other Animals.

“It’s a fact of life in the profession,” he said. “But it doesn’t keep me up at night.”

In today’s o-ed piece, however, he said he’d changed his mind after witnessing events at this year’s festival.

“I can’t stand by and watch Animals use my product that way anymore,” he wrote. “It needs to stop.”

OTD in 2013—Review: Shoot the Messenger

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TMD Backstage Pass PIFF 2013

DETAILS

Director
George Angus Doo

Actors
Eamon Colm
Gerlinde Taube
Natalia Paloma
Agostinho Pombo
Cynthia Offam (Human)
Derek Columbo (Human)
Winston Blackman (Human)

Screenings
October 1, 8:00 pm, Park Cinema
October 4, 5:00 pm, Park Cinema

Runtime
85 minutes

THREE minutes into George Angus Doo’s latest film, Shoot the Messenger, the screen goes dark. In the silence, the viewer is left to ponder what has just occurred: a shot fired into the brightly lit sky, the loud thumping noise that follows, the sound of boots running across grass and fallen leaves in the swamp-like environment.

When light and action return to the screen, we face six Humans at trial, recalling those elements from the witness stand. To his credit, Doo reveals little about the location of the court and the crime; the alleged perpetrators, plaintiff, judge and jury stand as EveryHuman or AnyHuman. But the trial is not an indictment of that species; rather, it is an examination of the complicated relationship between Doo’s own species — the Pigeon — and Humans. In many ways, as Doo said earlier this year, that relationship is “one of mutual respect and dependence.” But this film is less celebratory of that aspect than it is revelatory of the conflict, fed by ignorance, that is an integral part of the interactions between Pigeons and Humans.

The sportsmen at trial know very little, if anything, about the species they shoot at for sport. They have read no history and, therefore, feel no moral obligation to a species that has saved countless Human lives. As a result, they are puzzled by their obligation to appear in court and angered by the charges of wrongdoing.

“What kind of world is this now?” one of the accused asks aloud. It is not a rhetorical question. The world in which he grew up, he tells the court, was one in which shooting and hunting were respected activities.

“Now, what is it that we’re supposed to do?” he asks earnestly.

The film does not answer this question or any others; instead, it presents the accused and the viewer with even more questions as it explores not only the fraught relationship between the two species but that among Humans, themselves.

In this 2013 Winkie Award-winning film, Doo does a remarkable job of preserving the dignity of the characters while indicting and convicting the real perpetrator of the crime: ignorance.

OTD in 2011—PIFF Opening Gala sets scene for successful 7th Festival

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PIFF organizers appeared jubilant last night, as they gathered outside The Park Cinema following the screening of the festival’s opening film, Naked, Toothless, and Blind.  Alongside them, celebrities and reporters stood, dodging flashbulbs and waving to the adoring crowd.

“It’s been an uphill battle all year,” said PIFF Communications President, Leola Ocelot, referring not just to funding problems but to the fact that several films that were scheduled to debut here were still in the shooting stage when the 2011 list was announced.

“In the end, though, everything worked out perfectly and it looks as though this is going to be our most successful festival yet,” she concluded.

On the red carpet, flashing freshly-whitened teeth and swishing tails adorned with carefully-placed rhinestones , NT and B‘s twin stars Anders and Frederikke Egern answered reporters’ questions in between chatting with their film’s producers, Etienne Escurel and Mabbina Marmot.

The 7th Annual Park Interspecial Film Festival continues until October 5.  A total of thirty films will be screened at venues across The Park.

OTD in 2016—WINK director to host pre-premiere party tonight at The Feeding Station

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WINK Movie PosterWINK director G.D. Zebra will host a pre-premiere party tonight at Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station, The Mammalian Daily has learned.

According to our sources, the guests are all A-listers, not only in the film industry, but in the fight against discrimination against Animals of Pattern.

The coveted party invitations were sent out Tuesday night and our sources tell us that it’s a definite “yes” for WINK producer Kevin Kodkod and one of the film’s stars, Willem Leopard. Other invitees are said to include Douglas Cheetah, Mary Margay, Millicent Hayberry, Monique Tigress, Carlos Geraldo Gato de León, director of Noon Nuttiness film I Am Geoffrey’s Cat, Faramund Stinktier, ZEAL, S.L. Pomfret (aka Fish Rap), Zachariah Skunk, Balbina Ko of Holstein Fashion, and Momoko Yamaneko, and Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

OTD in 2014—Social media site gewper in talks to produce scented movie: rumour

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GewperThe Park’s social media darling gewper (pronounced “Gooper”) is said to be in talks with producer Egbert Bunzing to bring a scented film to the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) next year.

The social media site, which is owned by RhinoTech, Inc. has enjoyed enormous success since it ventured into scent two years ago. The company’s partnership with Enterprises Moufettes, S.A., makers of the popular scent-masking product, FeralNoMore™, proved to be a game-changer, according to Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok.

“They opened up a whole new world with the ability to smell [those with whom they were interacting] and it has yet to be matched by any other company,” she says.

RhinoTech’s earnings skyrocketed a year after they introduced scent to the site and the company was believed to be working on a project that would allow members to touch each other across cyberspace. Tapir says that idea has been put on hold temporarily and they are now looking to break into what she calls “pure entertainment.”

For his part, those who know Bunzing say that he’s been looking for an “edgy” new idea and that this “is right up his alley.” Calls to his publicist, however, have not been returned and repeated requests for RhinoTech Chief Executive Officer Aldrich Nashorn to comment on this story have gone unanswered.

OTD in 2011—PIFF organizers announce opening night film

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With less than two weeks to go before the first red carpet affair, the organizers of The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) today confirmed the name of the work that will open this year’s event.

At a press conference held this morning at the Park Cinema, PIFF Communications President, Leola Ocelot, announced that the first film to be screened at the opening gala on October 1 will be Naked, Toothless, and Blind.  The film, which was produced by Etienne Escurel and Mabbina Marmot, has been described as a “dark tale enveloping a bright interior.”

The Park Interspecial Film Festival is celebrating its 7th year this season.  Before calendar harmonization, the Festival was known, affectionately, as “Five Days in Felis.”  In its first year, the Festival screened six films; this year, organizers say, thirty films will grace screens across The Park and the list of celebrity attendants is the longest in the Festival’s history.

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