The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2015—POPS election update: so many candidates, so little time for debate

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Elections AheadLATE BREAKING NEWS

The numbers are in and they’re huge.

When Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel booked today’s press conference, he didn’t expect to have to postpone it. But that he did— twice—because even though registration closed at noon, it took over three hours for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon to certify the registration forms.

And the final number?

“Would you believe two hundred and seven?” Wezel told the press. “And only twenty per cent of those are repeats.”

Given the numbers and the limited amount of time for debate, those twenty per cent may regret their decision to stand as candidates.

That’s because, according to new rules put in place today, repeaters will be allowed to speak for only one minute, exactly half the time allotted to new candidates.

“We had to draw the line somewhere, or the debate would go on all night,” Wezel said. “And since we’ve already heard from them, I think that’s fair.”

As it is, since the debate will last almost seven hours, the starting time has been moved up to two o’clock in the afternoon. Candidates will begin filling the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre at noon, Wezel said, but attendees will not be allowed in until one.

If you’re planning to stay for the entire thing, however, there is one bright spot: refreshments will be available until eight o’clock, courtesy of The Compost Heap and The Battering Ram Café.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

  • The debate starts at two o’clock
  • Attendees may come and go as they please
  • There is no age limit, but remember that very young Animals may cause a disturbance and delay the proceedings
  • Refreshments are available until eight o’clock
  • POPS Election Day is November 7

OTD in 2014—Simply Structures sues after losing bid to build 2015 prognostication pad

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jgroundhogdayBREAKING NEWS
Simply Structures has filed suit against the Park Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations after losing its bid to construct the prognostication pad for the 2015 Groundhog Day celebrations.

In a short statement issued to media early this afternoon, the 2014 Archons confirmed that they had received notice of the suit.

“It is with regret that we confirm that Simply Structures, one of The Park’s oldest and most respected construction companies, with whom we have a longstanding relationship, has filed suit against us and against the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, for damages related to loss of income and alleged defamation. We are saddened by the company’s decision, but we intend to meet these allegations head-on in the days and months to come,” the statement reads.

The construction company is believed to have engaged the services of the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg in mid-October, after they were informed by the department that they had lost their bid. The department announced at the same time that they had selected Nesthetics as the builder of the 2015 prognostication pad.

OTD in 2017—Park Museum to host exhibit honouring Prognostication Pad

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In celebration of almost fifteen years of elected prognosticators in The Park, The Board of Governors of The Park Museum today announced a new exhibit, “The Means and the Message: A Decade of Prognostication Pads.”

This multimedia exhibit will honour not only those who have been elected Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), but the means that they have used to make their predictions: the prognostication pad.

The Winterlong exhibit will showcase the evolution of the prognostication pad throughout the past decade, putting the pad in historical context, and demonstrating the way in which its use has changed the office and duties of the prognosticator as well as the way in which spectators view the prediction.

Included in the exhibit will be pad architects’ blueprints, messages, notes, and correspondence, press interviews with Chief organizer Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr., and videotaped interviews with former prognosticators. Throughout the Winter, the museum will also host Q&A sessions with architects and with journalists who have covered The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations over the years.

The exhibit will also feature memorabilia from POPS campaigns, including posters, flyers, buttons, newspaper interviews, television and radio interviews and recorded speeches, as well as original documents from court challenges to the predictions.

“The Means and the Message: A Decade of Prognostication Pads” will run from 31 October until 14 February 2018.

OTD in 2015—Groundhog Day roundup: Record turnout, new budget in the works

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Walmond MurmeltierIt was a groundbreaking celebration, in more ways than one. Here are a few tidbits to round up the day:

  • According to the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, this year’s official Groundhog Day event was the best attended in Park history. A record number of Animals, ranging in age from newborn Bears to some of our oldest reptile citizens, graced us with their presence
  • For the first time in over a decade, ill health kept chief organizer Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr. from the celebrations. In his stead, Oscar Woodchuck did a fine job
  • Eight different food providers staffed the food stations
  • This was the first Groundhog Day celebration that included a dance choreographed specifically for the event by Herman Stoat
  • For the first time in the history of the event, a short play was performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company
  • The Archons’ Address lasted 17 minutes and included a tribute to Jor, the founder of zoocracy
  • The 2015 Archons promised to bring in a budget in the first two months of their tenure and to make the issue of inequality among the species a priority
  • The Park’s Early Risers hosted their own after-party and Animals partied into the late morning hours of February 3
  • Twenty-one injuries were reported as a result of the celebration. Four Animals were taken to hospital and seventeen were treated on-site

OTD in 2015—Full schedule of events released for 2015 Groundhog Day celebrations

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2015 ScheduleThe Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has released the Official Schedule of the 2015 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a press conference held early this morning, Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, announced plans for what the department has dubbed the “most jam-packed” Groundhog Day celebrations ever.

“We’re making history this year with a new, expanded version,” Kanariar said, beaming.

Those who attend the celebrations annually will note several additions to this year’s festival. Between the much-anticipated Archons’ Address and the super-celebratory Groundhog Day Parade, the department has scheduled a dance performance by the Herman Stoat Dance Company and a short play performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company.

“We are extremely proud that these companies accepted our invitation to perform at the celebrations. We think these additions will make for a much more inclusive festival,” Kanariar said.

She also hinted that this year’s parade will have not only a larger number of floats, but that some groups have “updated or expanded” their presentations.

One of the most important aspects of the Groundhog Day celebrations is the food and this year, Kanariar said, the department decided to extend the hours that the food stations will be open. Five full hours have been added, which will take the entire festival into the evening for the first time.

“It’s part of our commitment to inclusiveness. Some Animals are up and about in the morning and others take a little longer to get going. And some take afternoon naps. We want all Park Animals to be able to enjoy what is one of the most important holidays on The Park’s calendar,” she said.

And, for the second year in a row, the events will be covered live by Mammalian Daily reporters on Twitter. The live coverage can be followed here.

OTD in 2016—Designer remains closed-beaked on subject of prognostication pad

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Groundhog Day celebrationsNesthetics designer Romulus Bowerbird remains closed-beaked about this year’s prognostication pad, saying only in a recently-issued statement that he is excited about the new design and feels confident that his work will meet the expectations of Park citizens.

But this morning, gossip web site headsNtales posted what it claims are accurate details of the 2016 pad. The so-called “blueprint” shows a two-tiered, free-form pad that is far greener than the one produced by Bowerbird last year.

It would not be surprising if Bowerbird succumbed to public pressure and added more green to this year’s pad, experts say. Last year, his decision to add blue and other colours to the design sparked controversy and, according to some observers, made many participants in the celebration “uncomfortable.”

Bowerbird’s comments during live coverage of the ceremonies were also controversial, particularly when he said that he thought green was overused, though he did not dislike the colour per se, because some of his best friends are green.

Those close to the designer, however, believe that if he does add more green to the pad this year, it will not be due to outside pressure. Instead, they think it would be a nod to his mate, who is green.

“Romulus is quite taken with her and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he designed the pad as a tribute to her,” says one friend.

OTD in 2015—Lawsuit brought by Simply Structures may “have legs,” says legal expert

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jgroundhogdayThe lawsuit filed by Simply Structures against the Park Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations may “have legs,” according to Delwyn Terrier, founding partner of Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd.

The suit was launched in November after the construction firm lost its bid to build the prognostication pad for the 2015 Groundhog Day celebrations. Simply Structures has supplied the materials, design, and construction of the pad for over ten years, but it lost the 2015 bid to Nesthetics, a relative newcomer.

At the time of the announcement in mid-October, the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations issued a brief statement in which it said it had been impressed by the Nesthetics bid and by the foresight the company had demonstrated with regard to the sturdiness of materials and design.

Among other things, Simply Structures alleges in its lawsuit that the words “sturdiness” and “foresight” are implied criticisms of their company in general and of the 2014 prognostication pad, in particular.

According to its representatives at the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg, Simply Structures believes that it lost the 2015 bid due to the so-called “shadow controversy” of 2014. The controversy occurred when a group of spectators, frustrated by the prospect of having to endure another six weeks of Winter, claimed that the shadow the POPS saw was not her own, but one that appeared as a result of a fault in the prognostication pad.

Despite the fact that a team of shadow experts ruled that it was the POPS’s own shadow and no fault was ever found in the prognostication pad, the impression of liability has lingered. Now, the company is taking action against it.

“Negative impressions stick in our minds. They linger long after they’ve been disproven. That gives great power to innuendo and gossip. In this case, it’s a question of whether or not they can prove those words defame their company. If they can, that will go a long way toward effecting change with regard to how Park law deals with the issue of defamation,” says Terrier.

The case is scheduled to go to trial before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in late Spring.

OTD in 2015—Hieronymous Hedgehog to tweet during hibernation via Keeper of the Tweets

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Hieronymous twitter account

Click image above to follow Hieronymous on Twitter during hibernation.

Move over, Keeper of the Nut. Hieronymous Hedgehog has a Keeper of the Tweets.

The Hedgehog, who was sworn in November 2 as The Park’s first Official Hibernation Ambassador, left little to chance, it appears, when he went into hibernation on November 17.

In fact, what he left was eleven weeks’ worth of tweets on the subject of hibernation, including the details of preparation and what life underground is really like.

“He took his duties very seriously, particularly those related to educating non-hibernators, and he was dismayed that the position was created so late in the year,” said Chief Archon Abayomi Cuckoo, who appointed the Hedgehog in late October. The position carries a term of five years.

The Chief Archon said they spoke on a number of occasions about the time crunch and the need for Hieronymous to prepare for his own hibernation while leaving time to attend to his new duties, including hosting Q&A sessions on Twitter.

“I told him to resume his duties full-time in the Spring and not to worry about it. But he wanted a more concrete solution to the problem,” she said.

Enter The Park’s oldest hibernation outfitters, GoUnderground, for whom Hieronymous is a spokesAnimal.

“He was facing a deadline in every sense of the word and I told him that whatever we could do to help, we would,” says Nafari Bongo, GoUnderground’s Director of Sales.

The solution they came up with was for Hieronymous to take a few days and dictate everything he wanted to say about hibernation this year. Then, they’d hire another Animal to send the info as tweets throughout the Winter.

“Hieronymous was thrilled with that solution. He kept saying, ‘Brilliant! Brilliant!’ And his enthusiasm was infectious. We all got into it and made suggestions about topics and questions that non-hibernators might have,” Bongo says.

The hibernation outfitter then discreetly placed an ad for a non-hibernator to take over the Twitter account for twelve weeks.

“We found the perfect tweeter and we’re almost ready to go live,” he says. But the identity of that tweeter will be kept under wraps until the Spring.

As for Hieronymous, we wish him a happy hibernation and we look forward to seeing him again on Groundhog Day.

“Under and out, as he might say,” laughs Bongo.

OTD in 2016—Millicent Hayberry “seriously considering” POPS bid : rumour

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MillicentHayberry BREAKING NEWS

Renowned actress Millicent Hayberry is “seriously considering” running for 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), according to the gossip site headsNtales.

In a post dated today, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo said Hayberry is still “conferring with those in her inner circles, both personal and professional, and likely will announce her decision in October.”

Best known for her portrayal of the late author Imogen Aardeekhoorn in both the stage and screen productions of Mixed Nuts, the beloved actress currently can be found onstage at the Burrow Theatre starring in Godwit: A Mystery.

If Hayberry does decide to take a run for the office, it will not be the first time that a Chipmunk has made the attempt. In 2012, Lorenzo Michele Chipmunk thew his hat in the ring and although he did not win, many credited him and Zachariah Skunk, who ran in 2011, with broadening the field and making the list of candidates more representative of The Park’s population.

Hayberry still has a lot of time to make her final decision. Park Animals have until November 5, 2016 to put their names forward as candidates for POPS.

OTD in 2015—Nesthetics designer under fire for comment about “green friends”

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Bowerbird tweetNesthetics designer Romulus Bowerbird has come under fire for a comment he made during an interview with Mammalian Daily reporters on Groundhog Day.

While discussing his aesthetic choices for the 2015 prognostication pad, which he and his company designed and constructed, Bowerbird referred disparagingly to the previous pads made by Simply Structures.

Asked about the range of colours Nesthetics used in the 2015 pad, Bowerbird replied, “It’s much brighter, and we used a range of colours, as you saw. Not just green.”

As soon as he’d uttered it, Bowerbird appeared to realize that his comment was offensive, but his attempts to clarify if only made things worse.

“Green is good,” he said. “Many of my best friends are green.”

Although The Mammalian Daily reporter tried to gloss over the remark by segueing to the “decoration” of the pad, Bowerbird continued to stumble. When Hieronymous Hedgehog joined the conversation, he tried to make light of Bowerbird’s remark, saying that he, too, had many friends who were green. After that. Bowerbird hurriedly left the interview.

Nothing more was made of the incident until two days ago, when The Reptile Register ran an editorial criticizing Bowerbird for expressing views that went against the ideals of zoocracy.

Editor Sherwin Gecko parsed every remark Bowerbird made, finding fault with his cadence as well as his sentiments and concluded that Bowerbird “had a serious problem with other species” and would benefit from having “friends of all colours.”

The issue took on a life of its own after that, with many representatives of The Park’s citizen aid and action associations calling for an apology from Bowerbird.

“It was a thoughtless comment that hurt a large segment of our population,” said Mason L. Tortoise, head of the Small Animal Reform Group (SARG). “Bowerbird should make a formal apology to all of us.”

Antoine Lézard, president of the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) agreed.

“He didn’t have to say it. He was talking about colour in terms of design. If he didn’t think less of green Animals, it wouldn’t have come to his mind in the first place. We all deserve some sort of explanation of his thought processes, as well as an apology,” he said.

But Carlisle Chameleon sees it differently. One of Bowerbird’s few supporters, the president of Lizards for Liberty believes the designer was “well within his rights” to say what he did.

“He was just stating a fact,” says Chameleon. “He likes green—in Animals as well as prognostication pads—but he likes other colours, too. What I think we’re forgetting because of all the fuss is that while Bowerbird himself is blue, his mate is green, as are many of his relatives and friends. He doesn’t think less of them; he just wants more.”

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