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OTD in 2017—Hermione Hippo appointed head judge of 2017 Toe-Hair Contest

April 21, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Hermione HippoHermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest.

At a press event held this morning, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement:

“We are thrilled to announce that the very knowledgeable nurse Hermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said.

The veteran Park health professional is the head nurse at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm and also serves part-time as Assistant Professor at the University of West Terrier School of Medicine.

“Few others have Hermione’s expertise,” Kanariar said. “We are humbled that she has agreed to take the time to participate in the contest.”

In making the announcement, the longtime Director of Public Relations for the body that chooses the judges emphasized the importance of the position of head judge:

“The position is an important one because, should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity. And that Hermione Hippo has in spades,” she said.

Kanariar also announced the other four members of the judging panel: Cornelio Lantra, Clementina Araña, Quinta Caribou, and Rafael Ortega.

The Toe-Hair Contest, which is in its 22nd year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time on May 1.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: head judge, Hermione Hippo, Toe-hair contest

OTD in 2017—Leave it to Felines: How the idea of Animal self-rule took hold in The Park

April 10, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowTHE FIERCE URGENCY OF MIAOW
Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy
by Pieter N. Paard
372 pp. Marcellin de la Griffe Publishers Ftoo 20

Early in his life, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert—known to us all as Jor—went for a short walk outside his home in the arms of the Human who’d adopted him. As they strolled toward a local parkette, they came upon an old woman who asked them to stop. She pointed to his four white paws, which she called gloves, and tapped him on the head with her index finger.

“Someday,” she said, “you’ll be a very big man in the park.”

Virtually all Park Animals have grown up on that story, so it seems surprising to find it told again in the first few pages of Pieter Paard’s new book, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy.

But Paard’s retelling of the story is very much in keeping with his book’s title and its premise: that Jor’s felinity was central to his vision of Animal self-rule—and to his ability to have that vision.

“Feline culture, as it were, had developed beyond that of any other species in The Park, to the point where Jor was allowed access to ways of thinking that led him to consider the possibility of establishing Animal self-rule. His challenge was to convince those of other species that such a system of government was achievable; his own kind had been contemplating it for years,” Paard writes in the book’s opening pages.

In this way, Paard breathes new life into the “Doctrine of Feline Exceptionalism,” a set of beliefs about the superiority of Felines that is thought to have originated in the decades before zoocracy. At that time, the Felines of The Park—particularly the “Big Cats”—held sway. Hated by all but their own species, they nevertheless used their great intellectual prowess and sophisticated governing skills to bring about a transformation of The Park (then known simply as “the park”) that culminated years later in zoocracy.

The fact that these big Cats were not satisfied with ruling over the other species but sought to share power with them is what gives credence to the Doctrine.

“It is hard to imagine any other species that would have gone to such lengths to divest itself of its political power in order to allow those they considered lesser to achieve some form of equality,” says Paard, himself a proud Equine.

That it ultimately fell to a small Tabby—and a formerly domestic one at that—to fulfil the Big Cats’ dream is further proof for Paard that Felines are intellectually and morally exceptional beings.

“Jor’s leadership qualities and the rôle his sister Zoë played in his political achievements have been the subject of much study of late. But I believe it was his own instincts and his intuitive understanding of other Animals that helped him to establish zoocracy. Jor’s ability to speak to other Animals at an equal level and his mild manner were just two of the qualities that I believe helped him win over his political opponents. To those Animals in The Park who desperately wanted to believe in a government of shared power, Jor presented a trustworthy ally,” Paard writes.

Much has been written about Jor during this year of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary and many have questioned his motives. But even if, as Yoshita Tigru writes in her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King, he did contemplate establishing a monarchy and installing himself as king, respect for his fellow Animals ultimately won out.

“Jor’s legacy is and always will be that he established zoocracy in a Park that most others believed was ungovernable,” Paard writes.

If Paard commits any error in this book, it may be that he emphasizes Jor’s achievements and downplays his sacrifices. But we must never forget that Jor left a good life in a comfortable domestic situation to work toward making life better for all Animals. In that one act, he became a model of the highest moral stature and a hero to all.

Filed Under: Book Reviews, Breaking News, Education, Media, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: book review, Jor, pieter paard, the fierce urgency of miaow, zoocracy

OTD in 2015—Fowl Ball organizers on second annual event: “We are all systems go!”

April 8, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Fowl Ball

This year’s Fowl Ball will be bigger and better than the first, organizers promise

The bands have been booked, the food’s been arranged, and the items that will appear on the auction block are awe-inspiring.

“We are all systems go!” says Rafael Ortega, the event’s chief organizer.

With a year’s experience under his beak and already having dealt with a difficult situation (last year’s grooming house stampede), Ortega says he’s ready for anything but “expecting nothing out of the ordinary” this year.

“This year will make last year look like it was a rehearsal,” he says, as he struts around his office.

Claiming that he has “assurances” from The Park’s grooming houses that they’re prepared for the onslaught of pre-Ball customers, he says he can relax for a week or two before gearing up again in May.

“There is no chance that we will see a repeat of last year’s tragedy,” he states firmly. “We had no idea how successful the event would be in its inaugural year, nor how hungry Park Animals were for a more formal post-Winter celebration.”

Indeed, he believes, this year’s attendance should be even higher, given the difficult Winter The Park experienced this year.

“We’re looking forward to higher numbers, more fun, and even more funding for the cause of Avian aid,” he says.

The Park’s second annual Fowl Ball will take place on Sunday, May 31, 2015. Tickets go on sale April 15 and will be available at all Park retailers, as well as at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Avian aid, Avian charity, charity, Fowl Ball

OTD in 2014—Museum of Contemporary Art confirms plans to host annual art installation

April 7, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Poster announcing The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s first art installation, entitled, “How Much is That Doggie in the Window?”

The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s first art installation opened last April

A year after unveiling its first art installation, the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) has confirmed its plans to play host to at least one such exhibit annually.

Aulikki Norsu, president of PMoCA’s board of directors, made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“Due to the overwhelming success of our first art installation, we have decided to become The Park’s de facto home of the genre,” Norsu said.

While art critics at first were skeptical about the PMoCA’s entrée into the genre, the live exhibition, How Much Was That Doggie in the Window?, captured the imagination of The Park’s citizens and residents and broke the Museum’s attendance records from the time of its opening in early April until it closed in November.

The installation, which was curated by Dorika Pumi, depicted the sorry life of the domestic Canine. Norsu would not comment on the subject of the next piece nor would reveal the name of the curator, but she did confirm that a number of Park businesses had offered financial backing.

“We are thrilled by the support we have received,” she said.

See also:
Museum of Contemporary Art to unveil first art installation

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2015—Barkettes donate original Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed sheet music to Park Museum

April 5, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Stuffed Dogs won't shed…or be forgotten

Stuffed Dogs won’t shed…or be forgotten

It’s the song that launched their career and now they’ve ensured that it will live on forever.

Thisbe and the Barkettes announced today that they will donate the original sheet music plus several early drafts of the lyrics of Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed to The Park Museum.

In a statement released this morning, the band’s manager Hilde Blaft confirmed that the Barkettes had been in talks with the museum “for some time” and had finally reached an agreement regarding the song.

“This is a very emotional and meaningful donation,” Blaft said. “Stuffed Dogs marked a turning point in the Barkettes’ career and they’ve always had a deep fondness for the song.”

Canine Music Association president, R.F. Aarrf applauded the announcement, saying the donation would not only “cement” the band’s place in The Park’s musical history, but that it would help to bring our rich cultural life to the attention of the Archons and the Park Finance Office.

“Years of underfunding have taken their toll,” Aarrf said recently. “We need to be more supportive of our cultural community.”

The Barkettes, whose performing hiatus of several years ended a few months ago, are scheduled to begin their “Bring Your Own Bone” tour next month. Their first concert will be held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre on Friday, May 8, 2015.

Read The Park Museum’s announcement here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture, Thisbe and the Barkettes

OTD in 2016—Mammalian Daily becomes first Park newspaper to ban Human jokes

April 4, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

BanDEVELOPING STORY

“A guy walks into a bar on two feet…”

So begins the most popular twenty-minute set at The Howler, The Park’s only comedy club.

The joke was written and is performed weekly by Dalmanik, who is widely considered to be the king of The Park’s “new comedy.” But as of today, Dalmanik will not be able to make that joke on the pages of The Mammalian Daily.

That’s because so-called “Human jokes” have now been officially banned by the newspaper.

In an “urgent memo” sent to all employees of The Mammalian Daily on Friday, managing editor Orphea Haas declared that poking fun at Humans, “our fellow Mammals,” is not appropriate in a modern Park.

“While it would be foolish of me to suggest that we in The Park have no issues with Humans, it would be equally foolish to suggest that making fun of them, denigrating and disparaging them, either in comedy, poetry, prose, or news coverage, is appropriate,” the memo says.

As a result, Haas has banned all of the above from The Mammalian Daily’s news pages, web site, radio, podcasts, and all other enterprises connected to Mammalian Daily Associated News Services.

This is the first time any kind of ban on joking or comedy has occurred in any Park media, according to Noburu Akita, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Newspaper Activity in The Park (C-SNAP).

“I don’t believe we’ve seen anything like it since the establishment of zoocracy,” he said in a radio interview this morning. “I thought zoocracy valued a free and open press. I think Haas is moving in a very dangerous direction by closing the paper rather than opening it up. What with refusing to name her journalists and this, she is taking a few steps backward and that is very disturbing.”

Not all media experts agree with Akita, though. Ludwiga Saimiri, UWT Professor of Journalism and former director of the Centre for the Incorporation and Integration of Interspecial Values in Journalism (CIIIVJ), issued a statement this morning in which she said she thought this was a positive move on Haas’s part.

“I support Orphea Haas in her determination to keep the news free of frivolous commentary and damaging and reprehensible jokes. Interspecial values demand that we attempt to understand and accommodate those who are different from ourselves. We have a duty to treat every Animal with respect,” the statement said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: ban, comedy, criticism, interspecial values, media

OTD in 2014—Barkettes planning reunion: gossip site

April 3, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

headsNtales

Gossip site headsNtales claims the Barkettes plan to reunite

Gossip site headsNtales says it is standing by a story it posted on Thursday night, claiming that a Barkettes reunion is in the works.

The site’s co-founder, Hortencia Guacamayo, confirmed that she has two sources with connections to Estelle, one of the Barkettes, who have guaranteed the veracity of the story.

“Without that, we wouldn’t have gone ahead with it,” Guacamayo said in a telephone interview this morning. “What would be the point?”

The Barkettes, along with Thisbe, their lead singer and the founder of the legendary group, have not performed together since 2007 (25 AZ). The previous year, the group embarked on its farewell tour but the tour was cut short due to Thisbe’s ill health. She has since kept a low profile, appearing only once with the Barkettes, on the occasion of the debut of “I Love a Man in a Collar,” Rauf Wiedersehen Shepherd’s documentary about the group that opened the 2012 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).

R.F. Aarrf, President of the Canine Music Association (CMA), said he wasn’t surprised to read of a possible reunion, but he would need more details to take it seriously.

“In the last five years, there have been at least ten stories claiming that a reunion or a new tour was being planned. When I see a date, or when Thisbe confirms, or when they start to sell tickets, then I’ll know it’s really happening,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Gossip and Rumour, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2015—PMoCA to exhibit Domestic Feline Art

March 31, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Domestic Feline ArtThe Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) announced today that a new exhibition of Domestic Feline Art will open this Summer. The exhibition will be the first under recently-appointed head curator, Aamuun Maroodiga.

In an interview on TMD Radio this morning, Maroodiga said she chose domestic art for her first outing as curator “because it is so far removed from my own experience.”

“I wanted to remain at a distance from the art of my first exhibition,” she said.

Maroodiga, who spent many years teaching the Tuskan technique at the Hani Gajah School of Art, went on to say that domestic art makes her “uncomfortable…in a good way.”

“It takes me so far out of my comfort zone, that I have no choice but to put myself in the place of the domestic Animal and wonder, ‘How would I cope in this situation?'”

The head curator said the museum will draw from many different art forms: paintings, sculpture, performance art, among them.

“And we will be showcasing larger Felines as well,” she said. “Lions and Tigers…Felines whom we don’t usually associate with domestication, but who suffer from and with it nevertheless.”

The new exhibit, which has yet to be named, will open in the Summer.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Domestic Felines, Feline art

OTD in 2017—Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic director quits amid controversy

March 27, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

polar-bears-poetry-picnicKumaglak Nanuq Polar Bear, who tried to make the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic more open and inclusive, has resigned after serving two years of this three-year term.

In a letter to the event organizers and to the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, Polar Bear thanked the department for their confidence in him and expressed his appreciation for the opportunity to serve The Park’s literary community.

“I will be forever grateful to you for allowing me the chance to broaden my fellow Animals’ appreciation of my species and of poetry,” he wrote in his letter of resignation.

Polar Bear made no mention of the recent controversy, which Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear stirred up a week before Saturday’s event. The former picnic director said he felt the event would be diminished by the upcoming changes such as the inclusion of non-poets and artists from other media and genres. He also offended many when, in an interview with Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio, he made remarks that sounded as if he believed that his own species was superior in the field of poetry and he decried what he believed was the “watering down” of the genre in order to appeal to other species.

The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has not commented on the resignation.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: controversy, literary festival, openness, Polar Bears' Poetry Picnic

OTD in 2017—Millicent Hayberry to direct herself in second Colocolo mystery

March 21, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

MillicentHayberry Actress Millicent Hayberry will direct herself in the upcoming Gianfranco Colocolo mystery, Aracari, The Burrow Theatre announced today.

The mystery is the second in a series written for the stage by Colocolo, who is best known for his award-winning thriller, Murder at the Fishbowl. Last April, the first play in the series, Godwit, opened to rave reviews and continued its successful run until late October, when it closed to allow Hayberry to campaign full-time for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (an election she lost to Ditmar Bosmarmot).

This is the first time that Hayberry has directed. Best known for her portrayal of author Imogen Aardeekhoorn in both the stage and screen productions of Mixed Nuts, Hayberry has said that acting was her first love, but that she’d seriously considered trying other art forms, such as writing and directing.

“It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows Millicent that she would eventually go into directing,” Jean-Luc Briard, who directed Godwit, said in an interview in Misterio, The Park’s mystery writers’ magazine. “Her personality lends itself to directing. She likes to be in control at all times, but she is also a deep thinker and keenly aware of others’ feelings and motivations. These qualities make a superb director.”

Aracari previews will begin at The Burrow Theatre at the end of April. A gala opening performance will be held in May.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: directing, Gianfranco Colocolo, Millicent Hayberry, mystery series, The Burrow Theatre

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