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Hermione Hippo appointed head judge of 2017 Toe-Hair Contest

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Hermione HippoHermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest.

At a press event held this morning, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement:

“We are thrilled to announce that the very knowledgeable nurse Hermione Hippo will serve as head judge of the 2017 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said.

The veteran Park health professional is the head nurse at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm and also serves part-time as Assistant Professor at the University of West Terrier School of Medicine.

“Few others have Hermione’s expertise,” Kanariar said. “We are humbled that she has agreed to take the time to participate in the contest.”

In making the announcement, the longtime Director of Public Relations for the body that chooses the judges emphasized the importance of the position of head judge:

“The position is an important one because, should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity. And that Hermione Hippo has in spades,” she said.

Kanariar also announced the other four members of the judging panel: Cornelio Lantra, Clementina Araña, Quinta Caribou, and Rafael Ortega.

The Toe-Hair Contest, which is in its 22nd year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time on May 1.

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Cornelio Lontra wins big at yesterday’s Toe-Hair Contest

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Cornelio Lontra

Cornelio Lontra flipped when he won The Park’s 21st Toe-Hair Contest

The winner of the 2016 Toe-Hair contest literally flipped when he heard the announcement.

“I really thought it would go to Chico [Chinchilla]. I couldn’t believe they called my name,” Cornelio Lontra said.

But call his name they did, after head judge Sierpinski Squirrel confirmed the judges’ unanimous choice.

“They were beauties,” judge Antonio Marcelo said on TMD radio this morning. “They were obviously carefully cultivated. No Animal in the contest could match them.”

And as for Lontra’s friend Chinchilla, he did, in fact, win second prize, while Indira Gecko took home third.

Meanwhile, Lontra is still waiting for it all to sink in.

“I am still stunned, even a day later,” he told The Mammalian Daily via telephone. “When I woke up this morning and it was still true, I was amazed.”

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Toe-Hair Contest exacerbates fear of extinction in some Animals: therapist

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Rhino LoserThe Park’s annual Toe-Hair Contest may be having a devastating effect on the vulnerable in our population, according to mental health specialist Victoire Caméléon. [pullquote]Everything from the environment to emotional stress to having the luxury of time and the resources to cultivate oneself can affect toe-hair growth. We should be cognizant of that when we reward Animals for something that they are not in complete control of.—Psychotherapist Victoire Caméléon [/pullquote]

The part-time researcher and psychotherapist, who works at one of The Park’s two Extinction Anxiety Clinics, made the assertion this past weekend.

Speaking at a conference on extinction and mental health at the University of West Terrier, Caméléon said evidence suggests that the annual competition negatively affects those who fear for the survival of their species.

“This is not simply an issue of self esteem; it is an issue of survival and Animals’ sense of self-preservation,” she said.

The annual contest, which has come to signal the beginning of Spring, rewards those who are most able to grow long, thick, healthy toe-hairs over the Winter season.

But, Caméléon said, many in our vulnerable populations are not able to do so, through no fault of their own. Still, the emphasis the contest places on this one aspect has made some Animals feel weaker and less able to survive.

“There are a number of factors that are involved in toe-hair growth, as well as in other aspects of physical health,”  Caméléon said. “Everything from the environment to emotional stress to having the luxury of time and the resources to cultivate oneself can affect toe-hair growth. We should be cognizant of that when we reward Animals for something that they are not in complete control of.”

Yet, even despite these negative effects, Caméléon is not calling for an end to the contest.

“It began as purely a fun event, almost a farcical celebration of the post-Winter season. I think we should preserve that aspect of the contest and place less emphasis on the winning part,” she said.

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Sierpinski Squirrel appointed head judge of 2016 Toe-Hair Contest

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Sierpinski

Sierpinski Squirrel:  head judge of the 2016 Toe-Hair Contest

Sierpinski Squirrel will serve as head judge of the 2016 Toe-Hair Contest.

At a press event held this morning at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement:

“We are thrilled to announce that the very competent Sierpinski Squirrel has agreed to serve as head judge of the 2016 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said.

“As perhaps The Park’s premier financial advisor, Sierpinski Squirrel has proven himself to be a great judge in his own field and an outstanding team leader in all respects,” Kanariar said.

In making the announcement, the longtime Director of Public Relations for the body that chooses the judges emphasized the importance of the position of head judge:

“The position is an important one because, should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity,” she said.

The Chief Financial Officer of A. Corn and Partners has found himself in demand recently. Last December, he was asked, on very short notice, to join the Archon Transition Team, replacing Blandine Okapi who had resigned due to what she called  “philosophical differences.” Sierpinski Squirrel stepped up and by all accounts did an admirable job, according to Sylvana Rana, president of Save Our Political System (SOPS).

“He made the job his own, which is quite an accomplishment for an Animal who has never been formally involved in politics.”

At the press announcement yesterday, Kanariar also announced the other four members of the judging panel: Antonio Marcelo, Clementina Araña, Quinta Caribou, and Sameer Gecko.

The Toe-Hair Contest, which is in its 21st year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time on May 1.

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Gecko credits “stick–to–itiveness” for victory in 2015 Toe-Hair Contest

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TH contest winner

Sameer Gecko stands with prize from Friday’s Toe-Hair Contest

Not all of us have what it takes to win first prize in the annual Toe-Hair Contest.

But according to this year’s winner, it takes more than just long toe hairs.

Sameer Gecko, who took first prize in The Park’s 20th annual Toe-Hair Contest on Friday shared his “winning formula” with a radio audience the night after his victory.

“Winning the prize is 90% stick-to-itiveness and 10% toe hairs,” Gecko said in an interview on Reptile Radio.

Gecko confessed this was not his first attempt to win the contest.

“It’s not easy,” he said. “I can scale a vertical wall and even hang upside down, but to get to the top of the toe hair pile, it takes what I call stick-to-itiveness,” he said.

Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear would agree. The first prize winner in 2012, the Bear had lost five times before the prize was his.

“But it was all worth it in the end,” he said later.

Past judges of the annual event confirm that it’s not unusual for a winner to have entered many times before.

“It happens more than you think,” says Oskar Sloth, who was one of the judges of the 2012 contest.

Gecko thinks that may not be such a bad thing.

“I don’t know how other winners feel, but I think maybe it’s a bit sweeter for me because I had to try that much harder,” he said.

The second and third prize winners in Friday’s contest were Bruno T. Orso and Francesca Leone.

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Clementina Araña appointed head judge of 2015 Toe-Hair Contest

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Clementina Araña

Clementina Araña: head judge, 2015 Toe-Hair Contest

Artist Clementina Araña will serve as head judge of the 2015 Toe-Hair Contest.

At a press event at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, Aintza Kanariar of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, made the formal announcement:

“We are thrilled to announce that Clementina Araña has agreed to serve as head judge of the 2015 Toe-Hair Contest,” she said.

“One of the premier artists working in her medium, Clementina Araña has exhibited her work at the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA), The Kipos Gallery, and The Knochen Kunst Gallery, as well as at a number of venues outside The Park. We are confident that her keen eye for detail will prove valuable on Contest day.”

In making the announcement, the longtime Director of Public Relations for the body that chooses the judges emphasized the importance of the position of head judge:

“The position is an important one because, should there be a tie, the head judge, who is an Animal with greater expertise than the other judges, has the ability to choose the winner. It is a position of responsibility that calls for a great deal of knowledge and personal integrity,” she said.

Kanariar also announced the other four members of the judging panel: Quinta Caribou, Antonio Geco, Remus di Rafineschi, and Esko Lammaskoira.

The Toe-Hair Contest, which is in its 20th year, is set to commence at 10:00 a.m. Park time on May 1.

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Flying Mammal Captures Top Prize in Toe-Hair Contest

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Rufus di RafineschiRufus di Rafineschi flew away with first prize at The Park’s eleventh annual Toe-Hair contest, held this Spring at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

All five judges awarded the Bat first place and offered high praise for his toe-hairs, which they said, “extended noticeably beyond the tips of his toes.”

Di Rafineschi, who with this victory becomes a member of an exclusive group of Animals in The Park, is the first big-eared Bat in the contest’s history to win the prestigious award.

“I’m thrilled and humbled,” di Rafineschi said at a press conference following the judges’ decision. “It makes me feel that I really belong inThe Park.”

The Bat, a native of Kentucky, first roosted in The Park three years ago.

Finding the atmosphere “quite welcoming,” he decided to become a permanent resident a year ago.

Second and third prizes at the contest were awarded to Samuel P. Gecko and to Buckley, a Bearded Collie.

This article first appeared in Issue #111 of The Mammalian Daily

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