The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) is set to unveil its newest exhibit this weekend. The live art installation is entitled, How Much Was That Doggie in the Window?

The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) is set to unveil its newest exhibit to the public this weekend and it promises to be one of the most talked-about artistic events in Park history.

At a gala opening tomorrow evening, patrons finally will be able to view the Museum’s — and The Park’s — first art installation. But that’s not all: the installation, which is entitled, How Much Was That Doggie in the Window? is a live art installation.

“It’s been a long slog for all of us, but we’re finally ready. All systems are go and we couldn’t be more excited,” says Aulikki Norsu, president of PMoCA’s board of directors.

The live exhibition, which depicts the sorry life of the domestic Canine, was curated by Dorika Pumi, whose previous work for the Museum includes the K-NONical Kismet exhibit and the controversial but well-received series of sketches entitled, Better To Be Lost Than Loved.

But this new exhibit is not just another one-dimensional criticism of Canine domesticity, Pumi insists.

“This is a living, breathing, depiction of one of the least-discussed but most horrifying aspects of domestic Canine life,” she says.

According to Pumi, thousands of Canines are bought every year (“purchased” is the word that Pumi uses) on the open market outside The Park, then housed in apartment complexes that are sometimes hundreds of feet in height, and left there to languish while their Human companions — the ones who profess to love them — stay away for hours on end.

“These Dogs have no idea whether those Humans will ever return,” says Pumi. “They don’t know what’s going to happen to them. They can’t get out of there on their own and every day they wonder whether they will die there, distraught and alone.”

To get her message across, Pumi enlisted the services of those who know whereof she speaks: The Park’s Canine refugees.

“These are the Dogs who have received assistance from Runaway Rovers, the immigrant aid group that helps formerly domestic Canines establish a better life in The Park,” she says.

Four different groups of these formerly domestic Dogs will work in the exhibit. Their shifts will be four hours long and two different groups will work on the installation each day. They will need a break after four hours, Pumi says, because they will have spent the entirety of that time howling while hanging out of the window of a wall that was specially constructed for the exhibit.

“It’s a tough job, but there was no shortage of Dogs who were willing to take it on when they heard about the project,” says Pumi. “They’ve lived the life and we’ve given them the chance to show us what it’s like.”

How Much Was That Doggie in the Window?  will be installed at the Park Museum of Contemporary Art until November, 2013.

The 2013 Archons are feeling the heat from Park citizens just days after announcing that they commissioned the composition of an “official” Park song.

Their intention was to have a song created “that would evoke feelings of pride and loyalty in Park Animals…something stirring that would excite all of us and make us feel appreciative of living in The Park.” That was the explanation given by the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta when he met with media representatives on March 5 to announce the commission. The song will be played or sung at all official Park functions, he said, as well as at artistic and sporting events.

While the Archons may have believed the song would please Park Animals, the opposite appears to be the case. In a sendup of the announcement, the popular Park newspaper, The Equine Echo, ran a headline yesterday mocking the idea. Presenting it as if it were an advertisement in the “personals” category of their classified section, Echo editors wrote this headline: “2013 Archons seek song singing Park’s praises for use at celebrations.”

On a more serious note, a number of academics as well as Park political commentators have weighed in since the announcement of the song, and all are of the same opinion: it’s a bad idea and it should be scrapped.

In a radio interview yesterday, beloved Mammalian Daily advice columnist and University of West Terrier faculty member Noreen expressed what many others have been thinking: “There is something almost Human about this business of celebrating ourselves and our accomplishments,” she said. “I think we’ve imbibed this sort of Rah Rah attitude from the Humans around us. And I don’t think it’s a good idea at all.”

Beatrice Zilonis, distinguished  UWT professor of history, echoed Noreen’s sentiments.

“Historically, we haven’t dealt with things in this way. Park Animals are not boastful and I find it rather disconcerting to see the Archons attempting to manufacture pride, especially if their intent is to use that pride as way of keeping The Park together. It strikes me as quite a desperate move on their part,” she said.

The Park Weather Office has issued a warning to those who plan to attend this year’s Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic: prepare for a soggy bottom.

“This year’s extended Winter season, coupled with record amounts of precipitation and a delayed thaw, have conspired to leave The Park a mushy mess,” the PWO said in a press statement released this morning.

“Every year presents its challenges,” said the event’s chief organizer Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear, at a press conference today.

“Last year, with all the protests in The Park, we thought we’d have to protect ourselves. This year, it looks like it’s the poetry we’ll have to protect — from the elements,” he laughed.

Polar Bear, who  is currently serving his second year of a three-year term, said he was confident that attendance levels would not be affected by the weather.

“We have a group of wonderful poets lined up and a wonderful audience. My guess is they won’t give the weather a second thought,” he said.