The Mammalian Daily

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Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

OTD in 2017—Mob swarms biographer at book launch

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3d-tabby-king-croppedYesterday’s launch of Yoshita Tigru’s biography turned ugly as an angry mob swarmed the author the minute she arrived at The Literary Apothecary.

A scheduled book signing inside the store was cancelled and Tigru was escorted by Park police to a safe location, where she gave a series of interviews via the web to Park television and radio stations.

According to Wyuna Winkle, the bookstore’s owner, Tigru had just arrived at the door when they rushed her, “grabbing at her tail and spitting at her.”

Other witnesses said some members of the mob were holding signs calling Tigru a traitor and an “unzoocratic Animal not fit for Park citizenship.”

Winkle said the mob members were angry at Tigru’s assertion that Jor, The Park’s first leader, initially had planned to rule The Park as king, instead of establishing zoocracy.

“That idea is abhorrent to them and they refuse to believe it,” she said. “To them, Jor was a perfect specimen of Felinity whose brilliance resulted in the reality of Animal self-rule. What Tigru reveals in her book, though, is that zoocracy was the result of a long process of thought on Jor’s part. What we ended up with as our government was not his first idea, but it was his best. For some reason, they think that revealing that fact is disrespectful to him.”

Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press, the book’s publisher, has confirmed that there are no other events planned at this time for Tigru.

OTD in 2016—Hair and skin colouring, stripe removal hurt Park, says Artifice Destiny author

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The author of a controversial new book published by Prionailurus Press says that the growing popularity of aesthetic changes such as stripe removal and artificial hair and skin colouring will have devastating long-term effects on The Park and its citizens.

In an interview this week, Artifice Destiny author Marika Kaméleon told The Mammalian Daily that such alterations to our natural selves will not only change the way we see ourselves and each other, but they will also have a detrimental effect on Park politics, government, and our collective commitment to zoocracy.

“The basis of our life here is a commitment to viewing each other equally, regardless of species, size, or colour and this kind of artifice makes a mockery of that,” she said.

Kaméleon, who is also a therapist at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, said she has already seen a number of younger patients who see procedures such as stripe removal as “adaptive” ways to avoid the extinction of their species.

“They come here talking about the hatred they’ve experienced and the threat to their lives and the future of their species, but they don’t see that caving in to hatred and prejudice is not an adaptation so much as a surrender. Some say it’s their version of ‘fight or flight’ but I say no to that. Moving in the direction of homogeneity is not the answer,” she said.

Kaméleon’s book became a bestseller almost as soon as it was released last week, but it has garnered its share of controversy, particularly from The Park’s business community and its grooming houses, some of which still offer stripe removal services.

“I have always been against the procedure, personally, but I don’t feel as if I have the right to deny it to Animals who seek it,” said Tallulah of Talulah’s Toilettage. “I don’t think it’s fair of Kaméleon, as a therapist, to advise her patients against doing something that might help them feel better.”

OTD in 2016—Rehearsals to resume in March on Millicent Hayberry mystery series

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Millicent Hayberry Rehearsals will resume next week at The Park’s Burrow Theatre for the Gianfranco Colocolo mystery series starring renowned actress Millicent Hayberry.

A spokesAnimal for the theatre confirmed director Jean-Luc Briard’s tweet of February 23, in which he said he was “Getting into shape for Tuesday rehearsal.” According to the theatre, rehearsals begin on Tuesday, March 1, a little over a month before the April 8 opening.

Hayberry, who is best known for her portrayal of author Imogen Aardeekhoorn in both the stage and screen productions of Mixed Nuts, emerged from hibernation on Groundhog Day and has been resting since, but is said to be anxious to return to work.

“Millicent lives for her work and if she could, she’d skip hibernation altogether in favour of working,” said a close friend of the actress.

Despite that, rehearsals that were scheduled for the month of February were cancelled, in part due to Hayberry’s physical state.

“She was weak coming out of hibernation, which isn’t surprising,” said the same friend. “But her spirits are high and they will carry her through the first gruelling days of rehearsal all the way to the opening.”

For his part, Gianfranco Colocolo, the award-winning author of Murder at the Fishbowl, has yet to name the mystery series, preferring to keep that as a mystery, as well. Tickets for the series (single plays or for the whole series) will go on sale in mid-March at The Burrow Theatre.

OTD in 2016—Rapper Will.o.be. under fire for criticism of zoocracy after Return of the Nut

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Rapper Will.o.be.First, it was Douglas Cheetah. Now, Rapper Will.o.be. is coming under fire for remarks he made at The Park’s emotional Return of the Nut ceremony on Saturday.

Just minutes after 2016 Keeper of the Nut Ekeoma L. Girraaf returned the Nut to The Park’s hibernating community, swearing the ancient oath that it was “kept from harm and preserved intact,” the singer and composer made some incendiary remarks to a Mammalian Daily Television (TMDTV) reporter.

In a “live at the scene” interview, the beloved musician criticized the Archons’ Groundhog Day address, as well as the Archons themselves, saying that they “embodied everything that is wrong with zoocracy.”

A shocked television audience then found themselves subjected to a barrage of specist comments, as Will.o.be. declared that “Fish do not speak for me,” that “[Chief Archon] Mink does not speak for me,” and that “very few other Animals have any idea what it’s like to be Feline.”

The composer and singer then went on a rampage against Animal self-rule, declaring that most Animals are not able to run their own lives, let alone the lives of millions of other Animals of all species.

“I’ve spent a lot of time in the Human world and I know that it doesn’t work there, either,” he said.

Minutes after the broadcast, Mammalian Daily Associated News Services (MDANS), TMDTV’s parent company, issued an apology for the rapper’s remarks, saying they did not reflect in any way the views of MDANS or its employees.

OTD in 2015—Barkettes to honour Tartan Crab with free concert at Memorial Pond

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Tartan Crab Memorial PondThisbe and the Barkettes will honour the Tartan Crab this Spring by holding a free concert at the memorial pond that bears his name.

In a statement released this morning, the group’s manager Hilde Blaft confirmed that the group made a specific request that a free concert be held at the Pond to honour the victim of The Park’s most famous unsolved murder.

The Tartan Crab, who was Nestor’s pet, was brutally murdered eleven years ago and his body was found on the walkway in front of the Reek-o-Rama. Although several Animals, the majority of whom were Canines, were brought in for questioning, Police still have no idea who the perpetrator of the crime was.

Nestor, whom some regard as The Park’s greatest poet. never spoke of the murder and declined to be interviewed over the course of his life.

A date has not yet been set for the concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond.

OTD in 2017—Tavros scores interview coup with zoocracy founder’s biographer

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3d-tabby-king-1Yannis Tavros has scored a major media coup by booking an exclusive, pre-publication interview with the author of a new biography of The Park’s first leader.

Yoshita Tigru will join Tavros on his Toro Talk Radio show on Friday, February 10, to discuss her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King. Four days later, The Park will celebrate the anniversary of Jor’s birth.

In the new biography, which is bound to spark controversy when it hits the shelves on February 15, Tigru claims that The Park’s revered first leader considered establishing a form of monarchy before he fixed on the idea of  zoocracy, or complete Animal self-rule.

Tigru, who was allowed full access to all the extant papers of George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert (Jor), including the entirety of his sister’s diary, The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat, cites his sister as a “major force” behind both his political aspirations and his political decisions.

“There is no doubt that her rôle went far beyond that of a sounding board or even an advisor,” Tigru has said in the past.

This view aligns with that of another of Jor’s biographers, Daphne D.S. Katze, whose 2014 book, Jor: The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Cat, claims that it was Jor’s sister who turned his attention away from “simple Feline pleasures” to the idea of promoting harmony among the species in The Park.

Katze, who had only limited access to Zoë’s historical tome, has said recently that she was envious of Tigru’s unfettered access, but would “absolutely” trust her interpretation of what she read.

Free tickets to Tigru’s February 26 book launch are available at The Literary Apothecary. The launch will begin with a short reading at two o’clock, followed by a Q&A session and paw printing.

OTD in 2016—Directors’ Guild ousted me as prez due to my politics: Douglas Cheetah

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Douglas Cheetah photoRenowned director Douglas Cheetah claims he was ousted as president of the Park Directors’ Guild (PDG) because of his vocal criticism of The Park’s political system and especially because of his opposition to the continuation of sortition as a method of selecting The Park’s governing body.

“My politics offended them [the PDG) and for that I am not sorry. But the issue is that political beliefs have nothing to do with my ability to serve effectively on behalf of The Park’s directors,” Cheetah told host Yannis Tavros of Toro Talk Radio yesterday.

The director, who is best known for his award-winning film Black Cats Can’t Jump and for a moving and insightful documentary about an interspecial family, became a spokesAnimal for The Park’s pro-election group, Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP) last April.

“The only way that I can see to stop the ongoing erosion of the principles of zoocracy is to establish a system in which we choose our leaders directly,” he said at the time.

The Park Directors’ Guild has made no comment on the situation other than to announce that Varden I.W. Spaniel will replace Cheetah as president on the fifteenth of this month. Spaniel is best known for his film, Stuffed Dogs Don’t Shed, for which he received the Golden Cap, the Guild’s highest honour, in 2009.

OTD in 2016—ZEAL calls for full investigation into dispute over Gourami Archonship

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ZEALPopular Park singer ZEAL has called for a full investigation into the dispute over Zafran Gourami’s Archonship.

On January 16, Gourami was sworn in as an Archon after being selected through the usual procedure of sortition. Ten days later, a Form 15C was submitted to the Department of Political Administration (DPA) disputing Gourami’s eligibility to serve.

ZEAL took to TMD Radio this morning to call on all Park Animals to “dispute this dispute.”

“This is an outrage and the reason for this dispute is obvious,” he said. “Gourami is a striped Fish and this is just another example of the subtle ways in which striped and spotted Animals experience prejudice and unequal treatment in The Park.”

To further his cause, ZEAL initiated a petition calling for the DPA to nullify the dispute and to move on with the business of governing The Park. The first to sign the petition was award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah; the second was Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

Cheetah’s signature came as no surprise. Last year, he announced that he had lost faith in sortition altogether and believed that free elections were “the only path to true equality among the species.”

As for Yamaneko, she has become a vocal supporter of striped and spotted Animals and announced in April that her company would be showcasing the work of these writers.

The Department of Political Administration has not responded to ZEAL nor acknowledged the petition. DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi confirmed on Tuesday that a panel will review the reasons for the dispute and render a decision by February 1.

OTD in 2017—Fleck + Stone to host information session on 2017 Prognostication Pad

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Groundhog Day celebrationsFleck + Stone, the high-end architectural firm hired by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations to design and build the 2017 prognostication pad, will host an information session for Park residents this weekend.

In a short press release this morning, the firm’s Chief Architect, Vadim Kobras, invited all Park residents to the information session which will be held on Saturday afternoon at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

“It is of utmost importance to the Fleck + Stone team that Park residents be in possession of all the facts surrounding the 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad,” the press release said. “We will be happy to answer any questions about the design and execution of this important piece of equipment.”

Although it didn’t directly address the controversy over the assumed high cost of the pad, the press release did imply that Park residents would see its value:

“The Fleck + Stone team is incredibly proud of the work it has done to help celebrate Groundhog Day in this very special year. We are confident that Park residents will be receptive to our design and will appreciate its uniqueness.”

The press release cum invitation ended with the words, “We were honoured to have been chosen for this job and we remain committed to supporting The Park and zoocracy in any way we can.” It was signed by the Chief Architect, himself.

According to sources close to the firm, Kobras will speak generally about the pad and building materials and go over some of the designs the team considered before fixing on the one that was built. No illustrations of the actual pad will be revealed, but Kobras is said to have also prepared a talk that deals with the history and significance of the prognostication pad.

The final design will be revealed in the early morning hours of Groundhog Day.

OTD in 2012—Chitter Radio rescues literary awards

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Chitter Radio, one of The Park’s most popular talk radio stations, has brought The Park Annual Literary Awards (PALA) back from the brink.

At a press conference this morning, Chitter President and C.E.O., Albana Ketri, confirmed that Radio 244883.7 (known as Chitter Radio) would assume full financial sponsorship of the Awards.

“We are delighted to announce that Chitter Radio will be the exclusive sponsor of the 2012 Park Annual Literary Awards. We look forward to forging a strong connection with the Awards and see this as a great opportunity to promote literacy both inside and outside The Park,” she said.

The Awards had previously been supported by The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, but budgetary constraints forced it to renege on its promise of funding for the 2012 season.

At the press conference, Ketri emphasized that Chitter Radio considers its association with PALA to be both a “privilege and a responsibility” and stated that Chitter Radio is “unequivocally committed”  to maintaining the high standards and integrity with which PALA is associated.

The Park Annual Literary Awards take place 15 June.

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