The Mammalian Daily

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On This Day—August 25, 2013: Banded Brothers to hold benefit concert for Avian population

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In response to The Department of Well-Being and Safety’s latest advisory to The Park’s Avian population, the musical group Banded Brothers announced that it will hold a benefit concert this Spring.

“We are very concerned about our population’s vulnerability outside The Park,” said the band’s manager Kostas Kotsifas. “And this new warning makes it seem even more urgent for us to help.”

The DWBS advisory, which was issued three weeks ago, alerts The Park’s Avians to the dangers they may face when flying outside The Park. It reads, in part:

Be vigilant at rest stops and when visiting the nests of friends. Be aware that traps have been set by Human “researchers” who will attempt to tag or band your feet. If you are captured, head back to The Park as soon as you are set free. It is important that you access the services of the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm as soon as possible.

The benefit concert will take place at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre on May 19, Kotsifas said. Tickets will go on sale May 1. All proceeds from the sale of tickets will go to a special fund that the Banded Brothers have established to help offset the cost of medical care.

“Band removal is very expensive, as the Brothers know from experience,” Kotsifas said.

The Banded Brothers also have partnered with the University of West Terrier School of Medicine to establish a multifaceted health programme called the Avian Health Initiative (AHI).

On this Day—August 24, 2015: Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

On This Day—August 23, 2011: New series based on Paard book leads pack in Fall TV schedule

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Author and historian Pieter Paard

A new, five-part television series based on a book by historian, Pieter Paard, is set to air this Fall on Park Broadcasting Corporation Television.

PBC TV executives confirmed at a press conference today that it has purchased the series, which is based on Paard’s historical tome, From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals.  The exact broadcast date was not announced, but it is rumoured to be slated for airing on October 1, the start of the new television season.

The series, which was filmed in The Park at the beginning of the Summer, stars Park heartthrob, Leopoldo Llama, in the title role of Antonio Astoa.  The book was adapted for film by Sonia Esel and Bernardo Burro.

On This Day—August 22, 2013: Stolen autochthonous art recovered by Park Police

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BIRD PAINTINGAn important painting by one of The Park’s most revered autochthonous artists has been recovered by Park Police, it was confirmed today.

The painting, entitled, L’oiseau à l’affût, was stolen while on display outside LeTwiggery during last Saturday’s Park ART Walk (PAW).

“One minute it was there; the next, it was gone,” one  regular PAWgoer told The Mammalian Daily.

“I turned around to tell my companions to take a look at it and when I turned back, there was only an empty easel standing there,” she said.

The painting by renowned autochthonous artist and Park citizen Hervé Huard was on loan to LeTwiggery as part of The Park’s annual Park ART Walk. A number of retail establishments as well as art galleries participate in the popular event by offering space free of charge so that artists can display their work. This year’s PAW was dedicated to the work of The Park’s autochthonous artists.

Huard has thus far refused to comment on either the theft or recovery, but Park Police believe the theft may be part of a larger problem in The Park. Sources close to the Society of Autochthonous Artists (SAA) say the group has received threats recently and several autochthonous works have been vandalized over the past few months. A spokesAnimal for Park Police said they are “currently involved in a thorough investigation of the matter” but cannot comment on the specifics of the case at this time.

On This Day—August 20, 2014: DWBS to move forward on plan to track Human foot traffic in Park

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Human foot traffic

BREAKING NEWS
The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) announced today that it is moving ahead with its plan to track Human foot traffic in The Park.

At a press conference held this morning, DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo confirmed that the 2014 Archons had signed off on the controversial plan after several weeks of intense debate.

“This is a major milestone,” said Kakapo. “We are moving in the direction of ensuring the safety and security of Park Animals.”

The monitoring plan, which is scheduled to commence in mid-September, was originally proposed by an ad hoc group after the publication of what they called “disturbing” statistics surrounding the number of accidental deaths of Park Animals that occurred due to “trampling” and other types of collisions with Humans. The leader of the now-dissolved group was Fatima Formiga, great-great granddaughter of the renowned Park poet Aubrey Ant. Ant, a seventh generation Park citizen, was best known for his poem, “If the Shoe Fits.“ 

In a statement issued this morning, Formiga said she was “extremely pleased” to hear the news. She also wrote that it was “an honour for me and my family to have played a part in the solution to this devastating problem. It shows the power that poetry can have.”

To read Aubrey Ant’s famous poem, click here: If the Shoe Fits.

On This Day—August 19, 2013: GooseBook’s fortunes fall on news of PIFF 2013 shutout

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GooseBook Logo

GooseBook’s fortunes fell on Friday after Thursday morning’s announcement that cackle-enabled devices will not be lent to filmgoers this year nor will they even be allowed inside the Park Cinema during PIFF 2013’s Noon Nuttiness screenings.

The social network site, which is the parent company of cackle (as well as peck), stood to add to its financial base through a group of private investors who had planned to support the company in its new endeavours. But after Thursday’s announcement by PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot, the group withdrew its offer of support, a spokesAnimal for the investors told The Mammalian Daily.

“The group [of investors] does not feel that the time is right for them to invest in GooseBook. Unfortunately, Park Animals continue to associate the company with the violence that broke out during the 2012 Noon Nuttiness screenings, even though the company was not involved in any way and publicly condemned the violence. Although the group is supportive of GooseBook, it has decided to hold off allying itself with the company until such time as GooseBook is able to repair its relationship with the public,” the spokesAnimal said.

Although some financial experts regard the loss of these private investors as “sounding the death knell” for GooseBook, the company’s CEO and President, Lester C. Gander said in a statement today that he is confident the company will find the support it needs “from both the public and investors.”

GooseBook was the brainchild of the late Cesar Emilio Gander, who founded the site while a student at the University of West Terrier. After his untimely death in 2009, as a result of a collision with a passenger aircraft, Lester Gander assumed the position of CEO and President. With Gander at the helm, the company has grown and the membership of all three social media sites has tripled in the past year.

On This Day—August 15, 2012: Feral Four donate song to help formerly domestic Cats

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One of The Park’s most controversial musical groups, The Feral Four, has announced that it will donate the proceeds from its new song to the CatsCare Foundation, in aid of formerly domestic Cats who have found their way to freedom in The Park.

The song, which will be released as a digital download in the late Autumn, is titled, “I Saw Your Collar in the Hall”. No other information has been released, either by the group’s manager or by its record company, Colony Records.

The group, who is set to release a new collection of songs next year, is also working with The Canary Cousins, Eggie and The Pigs, The Beasts of Burden, Les Chiens Débraillés, Scentient Beings, The DomEstyx, The Endeka Elephant Band, NIML, and rapper Will.o.be. on The Park’s first interspecial song.

On This Day—August 14, 2016: A peek at Holstein Fashion’s “Creations from the EDAM Collection”

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The Park Museum’s exhibition, Creations from the EDAM Collection, enters its third week tomorrow. The wildly popular exhibition of one hundred and seventy-five items of clothing that were created exclusively for June’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) has attracted a record number of visitors to the museum and has thus far surpassed all expectations in terms of support for Holstein Fashion’s charity, EQUALSS.

As a gesture of goodwill toward those unable to attend the exhibition, the museum has allowed The Mammalian Daily to display a small number of the creations on its web site. The slideshow appears below.

We wish to thank the museum for its generosity.

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On This Day—August 13, 2016: Weekend shocker: Gossip site says Rapper’s father is also his brother

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Rapper Will.o.be.

Rapper Will.o.be.

The gossip site headsNtales says it has evidence that Rapper Will.o.be.’s father is also his brother.

In a post dated today, the site’s owners claim to be in possession of documents that prove it to be “an irrefutable fact” that the popular Park musician is the product of his mother’s liaison with her son, Philippe Sauvage.

Sauvage, who is the lead singer in the Feline band, The Feral Four, cut off contact with his brother three years ago, after the rapper was convicted of defacing a Tree at the Beats of Burden Music Festival.

The gossip site claims that Will.o.be, whose original name was Sebastian, was one of six kittens born to his mother, Kiki, and Philippe Sauvage. The kittens were not all born at the same time, the site says, but all share the same two parents.

Will.o.be. is currently on tour, but his legal representative, Sebastian Shepherd, a partner in the prestigious Park law firm of Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd, released a statement on his behalf this morning, calling the claim “a ridiculous fabrication aimed at hurting Will.o.be. and his career.”

“Will.o.be. knows who his father is and it definitely is not his brother, Philippe Sauvage,” the statement said.

On This Day—August 9, 2015: PMoCA offers sneak peek at its new exhibition, “Art of the Domestic Feline”

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[satellite gallery=1 thumbs=on]

The Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) offered the public a sneak peek at its new exhibition, “Art of the Domestic Feline” today in the above slide show.

The museum will host a gala this evening. The exhibition will open tomorrow.

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New eBook edition cover

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