The Mammalian Daily

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Beasts of Burden to hold second pre-festival open mic at The Draft

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The DraftIt’s the pre-show to end all pre-shows.

The Beasts of Burden announced today that they will once again hold a pre-festival open mic night on Friday, September 11 at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that the musical group owns.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, last year’s open mic was so successful that they decided to repeat it.

“If this goes as well [as last year’s], they’re going to make it an annual event,” Herder says.

Originally conceived as a way to “warm up” Park residents in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which is now in its third year, the event turned into a talent search that netted two new performers at last year’s festival. In addition, the Beasts became mentors to three young musicians, one of whom has now begun a career as a merging artist (merging artists are artists who work in only one field of the arts and who collaborate with one or more other artists who work in another, distinct field).

“That was a total surprise,” Alfredo Ox told The Mammalian Daily yesterday. “Mentoring was the last thing on our minds, and now it’s front and centre.”

This year, Herder says, he’s looking forward to hearing the newest talent, but he doesn’t know if they’ll have the time to take on more than a couple of musicians or singers.

“Of course, it all depends on the quality. There are some performers that you simply can’t say no to,” he said.

The rules for this year’s open mic are the same as last year’s: the Beasts are asking those who wish to play or sing to add their names to a list that will be posted outside their pub on Tuesday morning.

“But whether or not you want to perform, it will be a great time. And be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder advises.

UWT Art Gallery, Park Museum vie for art of endangered species

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Underwater Mammal ArtThe soon to be opened new art gallery at the University of West Terrier is engaged in a battle with the Park Museum for the opportunity to house and display a selection of works by members of The Park’s endangered species.

Although some of the pieces in question formed part of the 2015 Park ART Walk in August, most of the artists whose works were displayed have to date refused invitations from The Park’s art galleries in favour of private showings, most often at their own abodes.

“Obviously, this would be a real coup for us, but that is by no means the only reason we want to house the art,” said Bibiano Montanaro, spokesAnimal for the President of the University, in an interview on TMD Radio yesterday.

“As an educational institution, we feel we are the appropriate place for this art and that’s why we are engaged in this battle. But, I must say, we didn’t think we would have to fight at all, let alone this hard,” he said.

For its part, The Park Museum maintains that its mission is to house as much as it can that is representative of life in The Park.

“That means, past, present and even future,” says curator Dorika Pumi, who failed in her attempts as curator of the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) to attract artists who were members of endangered species.

And although Pumi contends that this “isn’t personal at all,” many in The Park’s art world believe otherwise.

“I don’t blame her for trying to redeem herself, but I don’t think she should do it on the backs of endangered artists,” says Anastazja Koci, an alumna of the Hani Gajah School of Art. Koci, who was shortlisted for the position of curator at the UWT art gallery, says she was taught by Pumi and maintains the utmost respect for her.

“But I think she’s pushing too hard on this,” she says.

Cackling Goose Tavern to host fundraiser for Jerzy Szop on Friday

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Cackling Goose TavernThe Cackling Goose Tavern announced today that it will host a fundraiser for displaced Park citizen Jerzy Szop this Friday night.

In an invitation posted on their GooseBook page, the tavern appealed to all Park residents to “come out after 6:00 p.m. on Friday night and make this the fundraiser to end all fundraisers.”

Szop lost his home in July when the Maple Tree in which he had lived for the past three years was hacked during the night. Although Park Police have yet to determine the perpetrator of the crime, AnonyMoose has claimed responsibility for the hacking. Since then, Szop has been staying with friends and family members, some of whom report he is feeling “lost” and quite depressed. At the time of the hacking, he said he had lost faith in Park life and was considering leaving.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio, The Cackling Goose owner Brantford Gander said he knew Friday’s fundraiser would at the very least boost Szop’s spirits.

“But, truthfully, we’re looking to do much more than that. We’ll have music, games, food, drink, and an auction. Something for every Animal but hopefully even more for Jerzy. We’re hoping that this will truly be the Goose that laid the Golden Egg for him,” Gander said.

August in the rear view mirror. Here’s our monthly recap of Park news

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August recapAugust 1-15

One last time: Barkettes announce final Park date of Bring Your Own Bone Tour

Zorro verdict likely this month; court transcripts to be released in October

Park Museum to host major exhibition dealing with rôle of sport in Park life

UWT to investigate allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans

PIFF sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

Majority of new Park jobs are in field of security law: Department of Statistics

PMoCA offers sneak peek at its new exhibition, “Art of the Domestic Feline”

Fur flies at UWT journalism conference

Park Museum, ISML end feud over beloved Park tome

August 16-31

August recap reversed

Barkettes announce collaboration with Noreen on new song called “Yield!”

Budget preview: “The budget is a very hard needle to thread”

PIFF extends deadline for submission of films to PIFF Pockets category

Budget 2016: Analysis and commentary

Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

Pro-election group urges Park Animals to take next step in zoocratic evolution

Raimundo Zorro found guilty of two of three charges; sentence to be announced next week

Organizers move Beats of Burden Music Fest to third weekend in September

September is on our minds…

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The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on what’s planned for September 2015.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

End of EstivationIt’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

Beats of Burden logo

The third annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 18-20.

 

The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changed

It’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from our on-site groomers (gratis, of course!). September 27
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”  

 

Organizers move Beats of Burden Music Fest to third weekend in September

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Beats of Burden logoThe Beasts of Burden announced today that the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has approved their application to change the date of their annual music festival, The Beats of Burden.

In a written statement released to all Park media, the Beasts’ lead singer Alfredo Ox said the group made the application in June when they realized that this year’s concert would take place before some of The Park’s residents returned from estivation.

“This has always been an inclusive festival and we were shocked to learn that if we kept the original date, our estivators would not have the chance to attend. We feel very fortunate that there was an opening in The Park’s calendar and we are grateful to the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations for honouring our request,” the statement reads in part.

The Beasts of Burden established the festival just two years ago to support The Park’s refugees and the three-day event has become one of our most popular celebrations.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival will take place 18-20 September 2015

BREAKING: Raimundo Zorro found guilty of two of three charges; sentence to be announced next week

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Raimundo Zorro

Raimundo Zorro: guilty of inciting hate

BREAKING NEWS
After a three-week trial, Raimundo Zorro has been found guilty of two of three charges stemming from his ownership and management of the SplotchWatch web site.

Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court rendered his decision at nine o’clock this morning before a packed courtroom. Prior to announcing the verdict, however, the Justice spoke at length about the privileges and responsibilities of zoocracy and about the kind of Park that our founder, Jor, envisioned.

“The types of activities that Raimundo Zorro engaged in are the very antithesis of what Jor imagined for Park citizens. The Park was founded on the principle of interspecial harmony and we accepted as our duty not only the upholding of this principle but the flourishing of it, as well.

Raimundo Zorro attempted to destroy The Park by undermining this very foundation. He pulled a thread that, for a short time, set the unravelling of our social fabric in motion. But while we have succeeded in stopping him, we must remain vigilant. All manner of threats against zoocracy and interspecial harmony exist. Many of these come from outside, but it is those that thrive right here inside The Park that we should be most concerned about. We must use all our resources to guard against their proliferation,” he said.

In the end, the Justice found Zorro guilty on the two charges of inciting hate, but he said he found no evidence for the third charge of inciting discord.

“Zorro did his best to plant the seeds of hatred by exposing the survival techniques of Animals who were vulnerable to certain prejudices that exist in The Park. But I don’t believe that, as yet, he had gone as far as attempting to provoke discord or violence. Whether that would have happened had he not been stopped is a moot point,” his written judgment says.

Outside the courtroom, Zorro stood silent beside his lawyer, Pernilla Varghund, who refused to answer questions regarding an appeal.

A sentencing hearing is scheduled for next week.

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

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PollinatePark Finance Office head Valentina Abeja took some time off today from talking about her 2017 budget to discuss what she calls her ultimate passion: pollination.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio’s Sunday morning show, Abeja, who presented her second budget on August 17, strongly encouraged her compatriots to “get out and pollinate for the good of The Park and its residents.”

“I implore all who are able to get out and do your job and pollinate, for the sake of our survival,” she said.

Abeja also took the opportunity to unveil an initiative that she and A.P. Civet, president of the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), collaborated on. Called “Pollinators’ Progress,” the initiative helps pollinators keep track of their efforts and rewards them through a points system.

“It’s simple,” Abeja said. “The more points you receive, the more rewards come your way.”

Although Abeja did not elaborate on the nature of the “rewards,” the PFO head was quick to quash any notions that this was a system of payment for pollinators.

“We are not in the business of paying Park citizens to pollinate. Not at all. What we are doing is trying to encourage those who can to get out and do their part for The Park,” she said.

Pro-election group urges Park Animals to take next step in zoocratic evolution

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Ballot BoxThe time to make the transition from sortition to elections is upon us, says the head of The Park’s foremost pro-election group.

At a rally held last night, Antoine Lézard, president of the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP), urged Park Animals to join him in bringing about what he called the “next natural step” in the evolution of zoocracy.

“The time has come. The time is now. The era of choosing our government by lottery is over,” Lézard told the crowd of approximately five thousand at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

Flanked by renowned director Douglas Cheetah and former Archon Transition Team member Blandine Okapi, both relative newcomers to the cause, Lézard presented a list of economic, social, political, and emotional arguments for the establishment of free elections.

“All mature societies choose their governments by votes cast in free elections. After more than thirty years, can we not call ourselves mature and take the next natural step in the evolution of zoocracy?” he asked, as he concluded his speech.

Although Lézard’s words were met with great enthusiasm by the crowd, a recent survey conducted by the Department of Political Administration found that while almost fifty per cent of Park citizens think some form of change in the political system would be helpful, only a small minority —approximately thirteen per cent—believe that the establishment of free elections is the answer.

Despite this apparent resistance, Lézard maintains there is “something in the air.”

“I feel it, I hear it, I sense its unmistakeable odour. Park Animals want change, whether they will admit to it or not. Our governing structure is in a state of torpor and it has lost its ability to respond to its citizenry,” he says.

Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

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headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

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