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Arctic temperatures may add stress to job of POPS: expert

January 5, 2014 By TMD Reporters


The recent Arctic-like temperatures that The Park has experienced may end up causing stress for our 2014 POPS, experts say.

The Arctic-like temperatures that have overtaken The Park over the past few weeks may end up adding stress to the job of our 2014 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), says at least one expert in the field.

Speaking with talk show host Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio, Park psychotherapist Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon said she believed that come Groundhog Day, 2014 POPS Solange Graciela Marmotte will be under a lot of pressure to predict an early Spring.

“She will want to be the bearer of good news but if, indeed, she does see her shadow, she must tell us so. That will be a very difficult thing for her to do and I have no doubt she will find that conflict extremely stressful,” Gibbon said.

Gibbon, who is in private practice but is also on staff at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, said she believes that even though Marmotte is in hibernation, she is aware of the difficult Winter we are having.

“I think, subconsciously, she may even be struggling with a form of ‘hibernators’ guilt’ and be feeling a high degree of tension due to the sympathy she is feeling for her non-hibernating compatriots. I think our POPS is in a very difficult position this year,” Gibbon said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

And here it is…The most popular article of 2013!

January 1, 2014 By TMD Reporters

Number over whiteWe are proud to present our most-read article of 2013:

Has Anixi Agrarian Jubilee become too politicized?

Filed Under: Breaking News

#2 on our Top Ten List is…

January 1, 2014 By TMD Reporters

Anatomy of a Small Ball: The virus resides in the dimpled surface, but it replicates in the internal layers

The second most popular Mammalian Daily article in 2013 was…

Park braces for panzootic as Small Ball Fever claims new victim

Filed Under: Breaking News

Top Ten countdown: #3

December 31, 2013 By TMD Reporters

threeOur Top Ten countdown continues with #3 on the list of the most-read Mammalian Daily articles of 2013:

 

Tulip Map recall “will create havoc in the Spring”: DWBS

Filed Under: Breaking News

#4 in our list of the Top Ten articles of 2013

December 31, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Red blob four figure over black background#4 in our list of the Top Ten articles of 2013 is:

Staff from The Park's Extinction Anxiety Clinic will be on hand to aid participants in today's Mating Dance.  Mating Dance offers first look at Archons’ modernization plan

Filed Under: Breaking News

Our 5th most popular article

December 31, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Top 5 in Charts - Stamp on Red Wax Seal.Our 5th most popular article in 2013 is:

Focus on: Keeper of the Nut Keeper

Filed Under: Breaking News

8, 7, 6…

December 30, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Top 10 in Charts - Stamp on Red Wax Seal.Our 8th most-read article of 2013:

June 2013 calendarJune in The Park: What’s coming up (along with the Roses

 

And here’s an editorial that came in at number 7:

wild_animals_forest_groupThe Promise of The Park: Should we still believe?

 

And…our 6th most-read article of 2013 (and also one of our favourites!):

Stereotype Sunday“Stereotype Sundays” aim to foster harmony among species

Filed Under: Breaking News

10, 9…

December 30, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Top 10 in Charts - Stamp on Red Wax Seal.For the next few days, we’ll be looking back on some of your favourite Mammalian Daily stories.

Here is our readers’ choice for the 10th most-read article of 2013:

Bring back the Dog paddle!CAA steps up pressure on Summer Games committee:

and the 9th:

mountain of garbageGroup claims responsibility for Park’s mountain of garbage:

 

Filed Under: Breaking News

Hieronymous Hedgehog: TMD’s Animal of the Year

December 28, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Hieronymous Hedgehog


Hieronymous Hedgehog:
Mammalian Daily’s Animal of the Year 

BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily has chosen veteran Park citizen Hieronymous Hedgehog as its 2013 Animal of the Year.

In a press announcement this morning, managing editor Orphea Haas said the newspaper’s staff was impressed by “the demeanour he displayed in the face of what seemed like never-ending controversy.”

“Hieronymous Hedgehog became the model of a calm, loyal Park citizen. When faced with a barrage of criticism, he refused to strike back, waiting for the dust to settle. Then, he decided to meet his most fervent critic on his own turf, secure in his view of himself and in his loyalty to The Park,” she said.

Hieronymous Hedgehog, who is currently in hibernation, is expected to acknowledge the honour when he appears at the 2014 Groundhog Day celebrations.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime

Rapper Will.o.be. pledges to donate 12 Oak Trees to The Park

December 21, 2013 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Oak branch and acorn


Rapper Will.o.be. pledged to donate 12 Oak Trees to The Park at the Celebration of the Winter Solstice on Saturday. The popular singer was acquitted last week on charges of abusing a Park Oak Tree on the last night of the Beats of Burden music festival.

At some point between the flyby performed by the Doves of Peace and the hilarious antics of the Human Imitator, Rapper Will.o.be. took to the stage at yesterday’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice and made a stirring pledge:

“Last week, I was acquitted of abusing a beloved Park Oak Tree, but I know there are still many Animals here who believe I am guilty,” he said.

“I know there’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t change their minds. But I can help to improve the lives of all of us in The Park. That’s why I’m here today…to tell you that, as I stand before you, I pledge to plant twelve Oak saplings on this very site in the Spring. And may those Trees grow tall and may they be as strong as the founders of zoocracy and the citizens of this Park.”

Roars of applause followed an initial moment of silent disbelief. After the popular Park singer was escorted from the stage, the celebration continued and although he was scheduled to sing a few hours later, the rap artist bowed out, calling for an encore from Jargonhead, instead.

Later on in the day, the still emotional audience left the star alone while he feasted on the offerings of The Compost Heap and The Battering Ram Café, but many were forthright in their praise of his actions.

“I think he’s doing the best he can under the circumstances,” said Dewi Beruang, who attended every Park festival this year, including the Beats of Burden.

“He’s got goodness in him and now he’s sharing it with us and I think we all appreciate that,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life

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