The luck of the draw: 2 of the Archons of 2013 are active in The Park’s film industry

The names of the 35 Animals who will form The Park’s 2013 government have been released.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons was posted at the Law Courts early this morning, an hour after the selection was certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The list of new Archons will remain posted until the end of the week so that Park citizens and residents may review the names, Archon Transition Team spokesAnimal N.V. Hoatzin told The Mammalian Daily. Alternatively, those interested may click here to review the list, which includes two Animals who are active in The Park’s film industry.

The 35 Animals, who were selected to be Archons through the process of sortition, will be sworn in at a ceremony that will take place tomorrow morning at 10:00. Thousands of Park citizens are expected to attend the swearing-in ceremony, which will be held at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. As well, many thousands more will be able to watch the event on television. The Park Broadcasting Corporation (PBC), which holds exclusive rights to the swearing-in ceremony, will once again dedicate its entire morning programming schedule to the event.

Some believe that a partial melting is the cause of the tragic accident that occurred on The Park’s Otter Ice Slide on Wednesday

The Department of Well-Being and Safety has shut down the Otter Ice Slide for an “indefinite period of time” after a tragic accident occurred there on Wednesday afternoon.

In a statement issued this morning, the Department confirmed that an ongoing investigation into the accident suffered by Boldizsar Vidra was the reason for closing the Ice Slide, which had just opened for the season on January 6.

“We are currently investigating the circumstances of the accident that occurred on the Otter Ice Slide on Wednesday, January 9, 2013. Until such time as the investigation has concluded and we have determined the cause, the Slide will remain closed for use,” the statement said.

According to witness accounts, Vidra was lying on his back, travelling at a high speed down the Slide, when he became aware that his coat was stuck to the Slide’s ice.

“He was screaming, begging for help, but no one could help him until he stopped,” said one witness. Approximately three-quarters of the way down the slide, several other Sliders were able to lift him off the ice. By that time, the Elephant Emergency Brigade (EEB) had arrived and Vidra was transferred to the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, where he remains in critical condition.

“There was so much blood,” said another witness. “Parts of his coat were just ripped off and stuck to the Slide.”

The Slide, which operates annually from January 6 until March 13, is the favourite recreational venue of The Park’s Otter families. It is not unusual for Otters and their young to spend an entire day at the Slide. This year, the Slide saw a 600% rise in attendance during its first three days. This increase has been attributed to the fact that the Slide experienced a very short season in 2012, when it was shut down in mid-February because unseasonably warm temperatures caused it to melt.

The DWBS is believed to be investigating the conditions of the Slide between the evening of January 8 and the afternoon of January 9. The accident occurred at 3:15 on January 9. Several witnesses at the scene said a partial melt had occurred in the early hours of the afternoon.

Prior to the Slide’s official opening, The Park’s Weather Office (PWO) issued a statement indicating that the venue would remain open for the entirety of the regular season.

A source close to the PWO, however, who wishes to remain anonymous, told The Mammalian Daily that, privately, the PWO has had concerns about the lifespan of the Slide for several years.

“With all the cutbacks in The Park, the PWO has been fighting, but not winning, a battle to get sufficient funding for Winter weather,” the source said.

The last several years have seen increasingly warm temperatures in The Park and many believe it is due to the cutbacks in the budget.

“If we don’t act on this problem right away,” said the source, “there will come a time when we have only three seasons in The Park.”

See also: Park weather office blasts budget, proposes radical change

The end of the 2012 Archons’ term has brought renewed calls for compensating our leaders

The subject of Archon compensation was raised again this week, when the leaders of a number of political reform groups met to discuss one of The Park’s most controversial issues.

Reports from that meeting indicate that a plan to move forward on Archon compensation was agreed upon by the leaders of the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP), Save our Political System (SOPS), Lizards for Liberty (LfL), and the Small Animal Reform Group (SARG).

Historically, the four groups have disagreed strongly on a number of key political issues, most notably with regard to the way in which Archons are chosen each year. Antoine Lézard, president of CASP, has been a vocal proponent of elections, while SOPS president Sylvana Rana has fought to retain the current system of sortition (the lottery method that was put in place by Jor, The Park’s first leader). The groups have come together, however, on the issue of payment for the service that Archons are required to perform during the course of their year-long tenure.

“It’s a full-time job,” said Carlisle Chameleon, the LfL’s president and a longtime believer in paying Archons for their work, in an interview on Toro Talk Radio.

“I don’t think it’s fair to ask Animals to abandon their livelihood for a year. And, although it’s technically against Park law to work at your job while you’re an Archon, we all know that, sometimes, Animals have to do that to make ends meet. Instead of looking the other way, we should be providing them with the means to live so that they can focus their attention on their duty, which is creating a better Park,” he said.

That sentiment was echoed by SARG head Mason L. Tortoise. While he stopped short of calling the result of this week’s meeting a “plan,” he confirmed the ad hoc coalition’s intention to assert pressure on the incoming Archons with regard to the issue.

“Ideally, we’d like to see something done in time for 2014 or at least 2015,” he said.

At midnight on 1 January 2013, The Park’s original calendar, also known as the Varrian Calendar, becomes history, as calendar harmonization is declared “complete” by the 2012 Park Archons

The harmonization of The Park’s calendar with that of the wider world has been fully realized.

Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt made that announcement at a press conference this morning.

“That which the 2010 Archons began,” he said,  “the 2012 Archons hereby declare complete.”

Flanked by fifteen of his thirty-four compatriots, Newt spoke briefly, giving the 2010 Archons credit for their foresight and for aiding in the modernization of The Park.

“In their wisdom, they [the 2010 Archons] refused to back down on an issue that had scared off many before them. But they knew that modernization could no longer wait. They risked their reputations and, in some cases, their own safety, for the sake of The Park. We will be, forever, in their debt,” he said.

The legislation enacted by the 2010 Archons, whose formal name is “The Calendar Harmonization Act” (“An Act to harmonize The Park’s calendar with that of the calendar or calendars used outside The Park and to amend certain Acts in consequence thereof”), came into effect in March of 2010. Its full impact was not felt until more than two years later. While it still receives mixed reviews from Park residents, a recent survey indicated that most Animals are “resigned to it” and only a small percentage would make the choice to return to the old calendar.