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OTD in 2012—PIFF introduces “Noon Nuttiness” to 2012 lineup

September 3, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) has come of age, organizers say, and so have Park citizens. So, it’s about time that comedy was properly represented at PIFF; hence, today’s announcement of an important addition to the 2012 festival lineup.

“We are overjoyed to be here to announce the Noon Nuttiness addition to the festival,” said PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot at a press conference held this morning at the Park Cinema.

“Noon Nuttiness” means that between the hours of 12:00 pm and 2:00 pm, PIFF screenings at the Park Cinema will be of comedies only.

“Five days in a row of funny should have every Animal cackling,” Ocelot said, slipping the name of the new addition’s sponsor into the announcement. And just to make sure the message was received, standing beside Ocelot was Lester C. Gander, President and C.E.O. of GooseBook, whose company rolled out the new “happy” social networking site cackle™ last month. Gander took to the microphone immediately afterwards to make an announcement of his own:

“I am happy to announce to you today that for the five days of PIFF, Noon Nuttiness patrons will be given cackle™-enabled devices so they can share their reviews of this year’s comedies with their friends,” he said.

Ocelot also announced the names of the two comedies that will open Noon Nuttiness. “Love Lies Drooling”  written and directed by Xanthippe Newfoundlander and “Big Red Bucket” produced by the antYloper film cooperative.

The 8th annual Park Interspecial Film Festival will take place October 1-5, 2012.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2016—Introducing PIFF Piffle: relevant irrelevancies about our annual film fest

September 2, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is one of our most popular annual events. Yet, very little is known about its inner workings: the behind-the-scenes triumphs and tragedies, the disasters or even near-misses, and the antagonism, jealousy, and pettiness that play a part in The Park’s most cutthroat film industry.

But that is all about to change this year.

As a celebration of the festival’s twelfth year and in recognition of the maturation of the industry over the past decade and the value of film in Park life, The Mammalian Daily has given a new assignment to our official PIFF reporter, Aivis Burunduks. From now until the end of the festival, Burunduks will be reporting from behind the camera, behind the curtain, and behind the press conference. He’ll show you what goes into making a PIFF-worthy film and how that film makes it into the festival. He’ll expose the messy machinations of the industry and introduce you to the fire-breathing producers and the pandering publicists.

So, take a seat while we take you on a whirlwind tour of the second-greatest show in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, PIFF, PIFF Piffle Tagged With: behind the scenes at PIFF, inside information, Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF, PIFF gossip

OTD in 2015—Cackling Goose Tavern to host fundraiser for Jerzy Szop on Friday

September 1, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Cackling Goose TavernThe Cackling Goose Tavern announced today that it will host a fundraiser for displaced Park citizen Jerzy Szop this Friday night.

In an invitation posted on their GooseBook page, the tavern appealed to all Park residents to “come out after 6:00 p.m. on Friday night and make this the fundraiser to end all fundraisers.”

Szop lost his home in July when the Maple Tree in which he had lived for the past three years was hacked during the night. Although Park Police have yet to determine the perpetrator of the crime, AnonyMoose has claimed responsibility for the hacking. Since then, Szop has been staying with friends and family members, some of whom report he is feeling “lost” and quite depressed. At the time of the hacking, he said he had lost faith in Park life and was considering leaving.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio, The Cackling Goose owner Brantford Gander said he knew Friday’s fundraiser would at the very least boost Szop’s spirits.

“But, truthfully, we’re looking to do much more than that. We’ll have music, games, food, drink, and an auction. Something for every Animal but hopefully even more for Jerzy. We’re hoping that this will truly be the Goose that laid the Golden Egg for him,” Gander said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: AnonyMoose, Cackling Goose, fundraiser, homeless

OTD in 2016—August, August: What a busy month!

August 31, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

cowcoffeeMillicent Hayberry “seriously considering” POPS bid: rumour

Cackling Goose coalition asks: Would we be safer without sod?

Park ART Walk 2016 partners with EQUALSS charity to celebrate the work of the striped and spotted

Tinamou nest found outside Park; eggs replaced with Bailey’s Ball

Gunnar Rotte tweets, then takes his case to the Archons

Weekend shocker: Gossip site says Rapper’s father is also his brother

A peek at Holstein Fashion’s “Creations from the EDAM Collection”

Cosmopolitan Pest Magazine poll finds PFO head Abeja liked, well-respected

Budget 2017: A year when words mean more than numbers

UWT group to Rotte: Learn how to do social experiments or leave them to us

PIFF 2016 sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

Belles and Whistles to join lineup at Beats of Burden festival in September

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

Park citizens not as politically savvy as in previous decades: UWT study

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day

OTD in 2014—Park Finance Office releases “streamlined” budget for 2015

August 30, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

2015 projectionsPark Finance Officer Milton Struts looked confident yesterday as he addressed members of the Park’s media community.

After releasing the PFO’s expense projections for 2015, otherwise known as The Park Budget, Struts boasted that this was the best budget his office had configured in more than a decade.

“It’s slim, trim, and to the point,” he said before taking questions from members of the media who had seen the budget on Tuesday but had been told to keep details about it under wraps.

Some of the financial reporters present seemed cynical about the figures while others were downright hostile to the “new formula.”

Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register was the first to question the 45% figure for “resident requirements.”

“How can you put everything that Park citizens require into one basket? Surely something will be left out, either by design or mistake,” he pressed.

While Struts tried to reassure him, The Salamander Evening Post’s Camlin “Cayuga” Newt broke in with criticism of the decision to lump both arts and sports events together with “Special Events.”

“You’re not fooling anybody with that figure,” he said. “Any way you look at it, we’ve lost 2% of the budget. We just don’t know where, exactly.”

The lack of transparency in the budget drew the ire of even seasoned political analysts such as Ronald Grouse. Speaking on a special edition of Yannis Tavros’s Toro Talk Radio show yesterday, The Avian Messenger’s chief political analyst called the budget “the most disorderly, disorganized, and potentially dysfunctional budget” he had ever seen.

“There is almost nothing there,” he said. “There are almost no specifics. If you add up the Miscellaneous category with Residents’ Requirements, you’ve allocated more than half the budget to … what? We may never know.”

Meanwhile, advocates for better growing conditions in The Park seemed pleased by aspects of the budget.

In a joint statement released this morning, the Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP) and the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) praised the doubling of funds for the purchase of weather.

“It’s taken a long time for us to get our message across, but we believe we’ve finally been heard,” the statement said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2016—PIFF 2016 sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

August 29, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is a little more than a month away and today, we got a sneak peek at what’s going to tickle our funny bones come October.

At a short press conference this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot announced two of the films that will screen during the Noon Nuttiness portion of PIFF 2016:

AS I LIVE AND BREED: A NATURAL BUNNY’S HOME VIDEOS
Directed by Ilona Pupu
The Park | 20 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première

Comedienne Ilona Pupu, who regularly makes fun of the ability of her species to produce what she calls, “three generations, no waiting,” directs and stars in this sendup of the life of a “natural bunny.”

With candid clips from her own life (and birthing) and actors standing in for her relatives and friends, Pupu pokes fun at her species without entirely spearing it. “Education? Who has time!” she declares as she nurses one litter while birthing another. One of the funniest parts of this film shows three of the four seasons go by in the background as Pupu’s niece Veera gives birth. Over and over again.

I AM GEOFFREY’S CAT: MY HILAIREIOUS SEARCH FOR AN INDEPENDENT IDENTITY
Directed by Carlos Geraldo Gato de León
The Park | 22 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première

How are you supposed to have an independent identity when the Human boy you live with has the same name as your breed?

That is just one of the questions this Noon Nuttiness selection poses. But if that sounds too serious for you, don’t worry: this short film will have you in stitches as you watch the confusion mount. The star, who is also the director’s cousin, has a wicked sense of humour, which he loves to turn on his Human victims.

The title, by the way, invokes the name of the Human, Geoffrey St. Hilaire, after whom the star’s breed is named.


The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs 1-5 October 2016.

Glass shape made of nuts with strawNoon Nuttiness gratefully acknowledges the support of The Nut Bar, the most trusted nut shop in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Noon Nuttiness, Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF

OTD in 2014—AVN TV to turn its lens on Humans

August 28, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

This Autumn, the AVN Television Network (AVN TV) will begin broadcasting a new live television series that will focus on Humans as they spend time in The Park.

AVN’s Chief Executive Officer Orville Condor and Program Director Izrine Corneille made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“We [at AVN TV] have a unique perspective on The Park, and we want to use that perspective to serve our customers,” Corneille said. “This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.”

Corneille said the show will be broadcast for two hours (one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon) every day of the week. The network’s initial contract with the show’s producers calls for the series to run for 12 consecutive months.

“We wanted to show Humans in every season, starting with the Autumn,” Condor said. 

The show is scheduled to begin on September 22.

AVN Television is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include AVN Radio, CLucK Radio and The Avian Messenger.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2015—PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

August 27, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

PollinatePark Finance Office head Valentina Abeja took some time off today from talking about her 2017 budget to discuss what she calls her ultimate passion: pollination.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio’s Sunday morning show, Abeja, who presented her second budget on August 17, strongly encouraged her compatriots to “get out and pollinate for the good of The Park and its residents.”

“I implore all who are able to get out and do your job and pollinate, for the sake of our survival,” she said.

Abeja also took the opportunity to unveil an initiative that she and A.P. Civet, president of the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), collaborated on. Called “Pollinators’ Progress,” the initiative helps pollinators keep track of their efforts and rewards them through a points system.

“It’s simple,” Abeja said. “The more points you receive, the more rewards come your way.”

Although Abeja did not elaborate on the nature of the “rewards,” the PFO head was quick to quash any notions that this was a system of payment for pollinators.

“We are not in the business of paying Park citizens to pollinate. Not at all. What we are doing is trying to encourage those who can to get out and do their part for The Park,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, Technology and Science Tagged With: pollination, Valentina Abeja

OTD in 2014—Finance Office puts 2015 Budget info under embargo until Friday

August 26, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

embargoPark Animals will have to wait until Friday to find out how the Park Finance Office (PFO) intends to spend its funds in the coming year.

In a directive to all media (now in possession of the 2015 budget), Park Finance Officer Milton Struts cautioned against disclosing any information until a scheduled press conference at noon on Friday.

The budget, which is already two weeks late, has been the subject of much speculation since The Mammalian Daily broke the story in July that the Archons planned to tackle the growing inequality among Park Animals by streamlining the 2015 budget.

According to a trusted source close to the PFO, changes in the budget could include eliminating the 3% of funds that were allocated to tourism and tourism promotion, returning arts and sports funding to the levels set in the 2012 budget (more than twice the 2014 levels), and shaving a bit off special events to pay for better weather, healthcare and refugee services.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life

OTD in 2014—Beasts of Burden to hold pre-festival open mic night at pub they own

August 25, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Draft signThe Beasts of Burden are planning to hold a pre-festival open mic night on August 31st at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that is owned by the musical group.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, the band wants to give Park residents a chance to “warm up” in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which they founded last year.

“It’s a party … to celebrate a party,” Herder said.

All Animals are welcome to join in the fun, but the Beasts request that those who wish to play or sing add their names to a list that will be posted outside the pub on Wednesday morning.

“It will be a great time but be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder says.

“And, if we find some unknown Park talents, we will invite them to perform at the festival.”

Beats of Burden logo

Open Mic night at The Draft on 31 August: Doors open at 6:00 p.m. 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival: 12-14 September

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

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