Spring is busting out all over, so there’s plenty to look forward to in The Park in May. Put these events on your calendar:

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May 1-31: Park Media’s Month Without Metaphor If you care about language and the way media use it, follow Month Without Metaphor. Now in its eighth year and under the direction of The Serangga Star Adviser’s Priscilla Weevil, the month-long check on media has expanded to include spotlighting our own use—and misuse—of language and the effects thereof. Keep up with MWM every day here on Twitter or grab a KartalTech VerifyzerMHM™ and start your own search for metaphor, hypberole, and manipulation.

May 1: Toe-Hair Contest We’ve been waiting all Winter and now we finally get to see who grew the longest and thickest toe-hairs. Have fun, argue about the outcome, and get inspired for next year!

May 8: Annual Park Mating Dance It’s the most important mating event in The Park and the ongoing partnership with gewper, the only scented social networking site, will make finding your perfect mate simpler and quicker! Registration opens on May 2.

May 20: Anixi Agrarian Jubilee Come celebrate Spring in The Park, and the cultivators, planters, growers, and farmers who produce our Summer and Autumn bounty!

May 30: Otter Mud Slide Opens It’s that time of year again! Slip and slide your way to fun in The Park. There’s no doubt: you “otter” do it!

May 31: The Fowl Ball The most important event in The Park’s Spring social season, this charity gala raises funds to aid The Park’s Avian Community. It’s also a great opportunity for Park Animals to show off their new coats and Spring finery. Be sure to make your grooming appointment early!

April will shower you with special events, so mark these dates on your calendar!

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April 8-10: The Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual “Broopee Days” Are you a Broopee? We’re all Broopees during the Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual Broopee Days! Try the super-specials in April and don’t forget to enter the instant win contests!

April 14: Footpad Heaven Clearance Sale Don’t be a slave to style! Even though it may be last year’s stock, Footpad Heaven’s Toepads, Footpads and other clearance accoutrement are brand new. Indulge yourself at half the price!

April 17-18: Spring Shoots Mini Feral Roots Festival
Let celebrity chef Tab Tricolore be your host at this Spring event! In its second season, the Mini Feral Roots Festival will feature fresh bulbs, shoots, and other feral delicacies fresh from the ground at grassRoutes. 

April 20: Happy 6th Birthday, KwikLiks! There’s gonna be a party! Come celebrate #6 with proprietress Maitea Behi and her team! There’ll be free flash grooming, music, prizes, and lots of treats for the whole family!

April 26-27: University of West Terrier Forum: What does a Human want? This timely forum will discuss the needs and desires of the two-legged species, both in the context of Humans’ own lives as well as the effects these needs and desires have on the lives of Park Animals. Participants in the forum include Dr. Luule Aednik and his team of researchers from the Department of Psychology and Noreen, adjunct professor of Human Studies, as well as other faculty members.

Migrating Home
For the whole month of April and beyond, we’ll be celebrating the return of our Avian population. Keep your eyes and ears open for special events at The Literary Apothecary, LeTwiggery, The Pluming Room, and more.

There’s always a lot going on in The Park come Springtime and the action starts in March. Mark these Park events on your calendar so you don’t miss a thing!

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March 1-31: The Park Museum celebrates its sixth birthday Come and celebrate the sixth anniversary of the opening of The Park Museum!

Stop by for treats or spend the whole day at the museum. There’s plenty to see and do and eat and drink and it’s all free of charge.

Can’t make it during the day? No problem! Reserve your place at one or all of the birthday concerts every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night in March, starting at eight o’clock. Post-concert parties begin at ten o’clock. See you there!

March 1-31: Museum Month In 2015, the Archons proclaimed March to be Museum Month in The Park. That means that all Park museums and galleries offer free admission throughout the month. Take advantage of this great opportunity to learn about our history and appreciate our rich culture by visiting The Park Museum, The Park Museum of Contemporary Art, The Ewe and Moo Gallery, The Tortoiseshell Gallery, The Kipos Gallery, The Knochen Kunst Gallery, Fusion Ceramics Studio, The Park Museum of Contemporary Art, the art gallery at the University of West Terrier, and the small museum at the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life.

March 13: Closing date for the Otter Ice Slide
Yes, we’re all looking forward to Spring, but some of us just can’t shake that Winter feeling. If that describes you, get over to the Otter Ice Slide while the weather still permits. There’s no feeling like it, but that feeling won’t last past March 13.

March 16-23: UWT Hosts For the first time in its history, the University of West Terrier will host a series of talks and information sessions for both Park residents and Humans. Chaired by Noreen, adjunct professor of Human Studies and director of the Human Crisis Task Force, the talks will see experts from a number of field discuss the differences in physical and mental health, behaviour, and lifestyle among different species. Open to the public. No tickets necessary, but registration on site is mandatory.

March 24: Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic The Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic is one of our most beloved seasonal and artistic events. Now in its twenty-sixth year, the Picnic has expanded to include haiku and rap, but the format of the day remains the same. Don’t forget to check the weather forecast so you know how to dress to avoid either frozen nose syndrome or soggy bottom.

March 29: The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff” Formerly the “Shake for Charity,” this semi-annual event aids those who have no coat. The Shakeoff also offers free grooming and refreshments to participants.
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”

March 30: Tulip season Yes, it’s that time of year already. Tap your apps to find the latest emerging bulbs. If you need any technical help, our resident experts at The Mammalian Daily will be on hand to aid you in locating your favourite Springtime snack.

IF you thought January was a busy month, you’ll have to fasten your seatbelt for February! It’s a busy and emotional time in The Park and even though we can’t be together, let’s try to enjoy it virtually! To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

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February 1: Get up! Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day! Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until after the weekend, with all the virtual events that are planned! And try to make sure you look your best, even if it’s just for you and yours.

February 2: Groundhog Day This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear the name of the 2021 POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) and then the POPS will tell us what the weather has in store for us. After that, we’ll hear from the Archons about what our government has in store for us! Coverage of the festivities starts at 7:00 a.m. and will go on until midnight.

And don’t forget: even though we can’t party together, Park shops will still hold their annual Groundhog Day sales!

February 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales Whether or not our 2021 POPS predicts an early Spring, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1-5 to take orders for pickup!

February 11: Park School of Aesthetics Second Annual Open House (Virtual). The private vocational institution founded in 2014 by members of the Association of Registered Grooming Houses (ARGH) will host its second ever Open House—and its first Virtual Open House. The School’s reputation is built on its two-year curriculum, during which students become proficient in a wide range of grooming methods and styles, as well as advanced theory and techniques in trichology, aesthetics, massage, and more.

February 14: Anniversary of the birth of Jor He was our first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. This year’s full-day holiday will be devoted to his memory and to celebrating our future as a zoocratic Park.

February 19: Official End of Hibernation Let’s celebrate survival! It’s time to welcome back our hibernating friends. As Hieronymous Hedgehog, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, would say, bring on the food! And in case you have any questions, here’s a handy guide to welcoming home those who’ve been in a state of torpor.

February 20: Return of the Nut This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year’s Keeper of the Nut will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

Original Publication Date: 19 November 2013

In an unprecedented move, the 2013 Archons have voted to delay the official date of hibernation until a winner in the 2014 POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) election can be declared.

Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, announced the unanimous decision at a press conference this afternoon.

“Due to the exceptional circumstances in which we find ourselves this year, the 2013 Archons, under the leadership of Chief Archon Dewi Merpatee Rhinoceros, have made the decision to delay the official date of hibernation until such time as we are able to declare the winner of the 2014 POPS election.

This was a difficult decision to make, but the Archons believed that it was the only way to respond with fairness to the needs of The Park’s hibernating community. They felt strongly that we could not expect these citizens to go into hibernation without knowing the results of this important election. The Archons, therefore, have decided that hibernation will occur one day after the winner of the POPS election is declared,” Alouatta said.

The press conference was attended by Chief Archon Rhinoceros and six of the 34 remaining Archons: Oonagh Albertina Hellbender, Grosvenor Tortoise, Ottmar Limpkin, Françoise Hélène Coccinelle, Hagen Roeland Roadrunner, and Paulette Woodpecker. Gerritt Wezel, head of the Park Election Office also attended. The group did not entertain questions.

After the statement was read, a one-page press release was distributed. The release assured Park citizens that the decision “was not taken lightly, but was made in consultation with a number of medical experts from the University of West Terrier, the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, and the Extinction Anxiety Clinic.” The Archons also sought a number of legal opinions before making their decision, the press release said.