The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

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OTD in 2015—TMD Exclusive: Stinktier throws his hat in the ring for 2016 Keeper of the Nut

By

Faramund StinktierTMD EXCLUSIVE
Two sources have confirmed to The Mammalian Daily that Faramund Stinktier, one half of the SCENTient Beings duo, is among those being considered for the position of 2016 Keeper of the Nut.

One source who wishes not to be named in this article told The Mammalian Daily that Stinktier’s name appears on the short list for the position.

“His name was put forward by another Animal of the same species,” the source told The Mammalian Daily. The same information was posted on the gossip web site headsNtales and confirmed this morning in an email sent to The Mammalian Daily by the site’s co-founder, Hortencia Guacamayo.

Stinktier, a brilliant composer and performer who is considered to be the inventor of the wildly popular “Reekabilly” style of music, received a lot of press in September after he admitted to radio talk show host Yannis Tavros that he believed that he was meant to be a Zebra instead of a Skunk. Since then, he has been both praised and criticized, but he has refused to retire from public view. Those who know him say they’re not surprised that he’s allowed his name to stand for Keeper of the Nut rather than requesting it be removed.

“Faramund isn’t in hiding, even if some would prefer him to be. He wants to live his life just as he did before, except he wants to live it now as a Zebra,” said a longtime friend.

The position, which is now largely symbolic, represents trust among the species. The Keeper of the Nut is chosen annually on November 11, by ballots cast by members of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). The Surrender of the Nut to the Keeper of the Nut takes place each year on November 14.

Click here for more information on the Keeper of the Nut.

OTD in 2015—Born a Skunk, Stinktier set to embrace life as a Zebra

By

Scentient BeingsMany Park Animals may believe that Faramund Stinktier has gone underground since his shocking revelation in September that he believes he was meant to be a Zebra. But nothing could be further from the truth.

The Reekabilly star, composer, and one half of the SCENTient Beings duo says he has no plans to retreat from Park life, nor to deny his own reality, however much it irritates certain groups in The Park.

“We only have one life and I would be doing myself a disservice to deny who I am for the whole of mine,” Stinktier says.

Not surprisingly, he also utters those words in the trailer for his new reality series, Life in a Different Stripe, set to début in January on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV).

The Mammalian Daily sat down with Stinktier for an hour-long interview in early October. The full interview will appear in the newspaper in the coming weeks. Here are a few highlights from our emotional meeting:

  • Stinktier confirmed that he will seek an official change of his species status in the new year
  • He says that life has become “more complicated” than it was before his announcement, but that he anticipated an even worse reaction to his news than he has received, “Although I would never say it’s been easy.”
  • Stinktier has no immediate plans to change abodes or to attempt to join a Zebra herd. “I don’t expect them to embrace me with any zeal, but I hope they’ll come to understand that I am sincere.”
  • Stinktier says he welcomes the opportunity to bring issues related to his own feelings and choices out in the open and would welcome the opportunity to become an advocate and a mentor to those in similar situations.
  • He will continue his musical career full-time and has no intention of letting anything interfere with it.
  • SCENTient Beings concerts and recordings are selling well, despite a boycott by Park Zebras.

OTD in 2015—Peacekeepers to attend first Stereotype Sunday since Stinktier revelation

By

Does of PeaceRecent unrest in The Park’s Zebra community has prompted The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) to call on the Doves and Does of Peace to attend today’s Stereotype Sunday.

In a media communiqué released this morning, DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo confirmed the deployment “in anticipation of any disturbance of the peace which the weekly event is intended to foster.”

The unrest began on Wednesday night, soon after the broadcast of the Yannis Tavros show during which SCENTient Beings singer and composer Faramund Stinktier revealed that he believed he was meant to be a Zebra.

A hastily-organized protest that started outside Toro Talk Radio, which broadcasts the Tavros show live, spilled out onto the streets in the early morning hours of Thursday and has continued to grow over the past few days. The protest now includes a makeshift headquarters for organizers Jafari Pundamilia and Elton Zebra outside the Ancient Open-Air Theatre, the site of the weekly Stereotype Sundays.

The protest centres around one issue, according to a statement released by the organizers on Friday morning—that Stinktier “knows nothing of the struggles of the Zebra community and that he has co-opted the experience of thousands of years of Zebra life for his own purposes and to fulfil his own desires.”

Signed by Pundamilia and Zebra on behalf of the worldwide Zebra community, the statement concludes, “We respectfully submit that Faramund Stinktier has committed a crime against The Park’s Zebra community by perpetuating a stereotype and using that stereotype for the betterment of his own life.”

Although Park Police are believed to be on standby this afternoon, Officer Gareth Shepherd told The Mammalian Daily that none of his officers has been formally assigned to the event.

OTD in 2012—SCENTient Beings to join line-up at Agrarian Jubilee

By

There’s a whiff of change in the air, as the annual Anixi Agrarian Jubilee prepares to welcome freshman artists, SCENTient Beings, to the 2012 entertainment line-up.

According to their manager, The SCENTients were invited by Jubilee organizers, “at the last minute, but they are honoured and thrilled to be performing at such an important event.”

The duo, who released their first recording, Beings and Nuttiness, ten days ago, has never performed before such a large audience.

“They have played The Tabby Club and they’ve been on the road for a few months, but they’ve never sung in such company or on such an important occasion,” their manager said.

One of the largest and most popular festivals in The Park, the Anixi Agrarian Jubilee marks the beginning of The Park’s growing season. Traditionally a mixture of sombre and sweet, the Jubilee has historically been a venue for more “tried and true” performers, such as Thisbe and the Barkettes and The Beasts of Burden. This year, however, organizers say they decided to “add something new and untried to the mix,” while maintaining the tenor of the occasion.

Other performers in the Jubilee line-up include Les Chiens Débraillés, The Feral Four, The Endeka Elephant Band, The Canary Cousins, The Tweeters, and Will.o.be.

The Anixi Agrarian Jubilee takes place on May 20, 2012.

On This Day—October 18, 2015: Born a Skunk, Stinktier set to embrace life as a Zebra

By

Scentient BeingsMany Park Animals may believe that Faramund Stinktier has gone underground since his shocking revelation in September that he believes he was meant to be a Zebra. But nothing could be further from the truth.

The Reekabilly star, composer, and one half of the SCENTient Beings duo says he has no plans to retreat from Park life, nor to deny his own reality, however much it irritates certain groups in The Park.

“We only have one life and I would be doing myself a disservice to deny who I am for the whole of mine,” Stinktier says.

Not surprisingly, he also utters those words in the trailer for his new reality series, Life in a Different Stripe, set to début in January on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV).

The Mammalian Daily sat down with Stinktier for an hour-long interview in early October. The full interview will appear in the newspaper in the coming weeks. Here are a few highlights from our emotional meeting:

  • Stinktier confirmed that he will seek an official change of his species status in the new year
  • He says that life has become “more complicated” than it was before his announcement, but that he anticipated an even worse reaction to his news than he has received, “Although I would never say it’s been easy.”
  • Stinktier has no immediate plans to change abodes or to attempt to join a Zebra herd. “I don’t expect them to embrace me with any zeal, but I hope they’ll come to understand that I am sincere.”
  • Stinktier says he welcomes the opportunity to bring issues related to his own feelings and choices out in the open and would welcome the opportunity to become an advocate and a mentor to those in similar situations.
  • He will continue his musical career full-time and has no intention of letting anything interfere with it.
  • SCENTient Beings concerts and recordings are selling well, despite a boycott by Park Zebras.

On This Day—September 20, 2016: Justice orders Rotte, Stinktier to meet after Sunday’s Spoken Word incident

By

Mr Justice Augustus DindonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon has ordered the legal representatives of Gunnar Rotte and Faramund Stinktier to arrange a meeting between the two parties within the next ten days.

The Superior Court justice took the unprecedented action after an incident that occurred between the two on Sunday afternoon at the Beats of Burden Music Festival’s Spoken Word stage.

Rotte took the stage mid-afternoon in front of a significant crowd, many of whom he’d invited via Twitter to witness his first ever SWE performance (Spoken Word Extemporaneous). He was just about to leave the stage after finishing his number, “Chock Tock,” when he noticed Stinktier in the crowd. Claiming the audience was calling for an encore, Rotte took back the microphone and embarked on a takedown of everything Stinktier, including his music, his band, and his decision to transition to a Zebra.

While some in the audience egged him on, many were deeply offended and called for him to be pulled from the stage. Stinktier refused to get involved and left the area, which seemed to incite Rotte further. Finally, three Does of Peace moved him from the stage and into the custody of Park Police.

Rotte, who was charged in August with disturbing the peace and inciting violence at The Park’s weekly Stereotype Sunday, is already scheduled to appear before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in October. Those charges are also related to his behaviour vis à vis Stinktier.

When news of the SWE matter reached the justice, he put out the call for a meeting.

“Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon is of the belief that much of this matter could be resolved through personal discussion. He does not believe the courts should get involved unnecessarily,” said a spokesAnimal for the Court.

Rotte is represented by Pernilla Varghund, junior partner in Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd, while Stinktier has engaged the services of Zvonimir Kojot of the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg. Neither has spoken publicly about the justice’s order.

Justice orders Rotte, Stinktier to meet after Sunday’s Spoken Word incident

By

Mr Justice Augustus DindonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon has ordered the legal representatives of Gunnar Rotte and Faramund Stinktier to arrange a meeting between the two parties within the next ten days.

The Superior Court justice took the unprecedented action after an incident that occurred between the two on Sunday afternoon at the Beats of Burden Music Festival’s Spoken Word stage.

Rotte took the stage mid-afternoon in front of a significant crowd, many of whom he’d invited via Twitter to witness his first ever SWE performance (Spoken Word Extemporaneous). He was just about to leave the stage after finishing his number, “Chock Tock,” when he noticed Stinktier in the crowd. Claiming the audience was calling for an encore, Rotte took back the microphone and embarked on a takedown of everything Stinktier, including his music, his band, and his decision to transition to a Zebra.

While some in the audience egged him on, many were deeply offended and called for him to be pulled from the stage. Stinktier refused to get involved and left the area, which seemed to incite Rotte further. Finally, three Does of Peace moved him from the stage and into the custody of Park Police.

Rotte, who was charged in August with disturbing the peace and inciting violence at The Park’s weekly Stereotype Sunday, is already scheduled to appear before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in October. Those charges are also related to his behaviour vis à vis Stinktier.

When news of the SWE matter reached the justice, he put out the call for a meeting.

“Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon is of the belief that much of this matter could be resolved through personal discussion. He does not believe the courts should get involved unnecessarily,” said a spokesAnimal for the Court.

Rotte is represented by Pernilla Varghund, junior partner in Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd, while Stinktier has engaged the services of Zvonimir Kojot of the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg. Neither has spoken publicly about the justice’s order.

TMD Exclusive: Stinktier throws his hat in the ring for 2016 Keeper of the Nut

By

Faramund Stinktier

Faramund Stinktier’s name appears on the short list for 2016 Keeper of the Nut

TMD EXCLUSIVE
Two sources have confirmed to The Mammalian Daily that Faramund Stinktier, one half of the SCENTient Beings duo, is among those being considered for the position of 2016 Keeper of the Nut.

One source who wishes not to be named in this article told The Mammalian Daily that Stinktier’s name appears on the short list for the position.

“His name was put forward by another Animal of the same species,” the source told The Mammalian Daily. The same information was posted on the gossip web site headsNtales and confirmed this morning in an email sent to The Mammalian Daily by the site’s co-founder, Hortencia Guacamayo.

Stinktier, a brilliant composer and performer who is considered to be the inventor of the wildly popular “Reekabilly” style of music, received a lot of press in September after he admitted to radio talk show host Yannis Tavros that he believed that he was meant to be a Zebra instead of a Skunk. Since then, he has been both praised and criticized, but he has refused to retire from public view. Those who know him say they’re not surprised that he’s allowed his name to stand for Keeper of the Nut rather than requesting it be removed.

“Faramund isn’t in hiding, even if some would prefer him to be. He wants to live his life just as he did before, except he wants to live it now as a Zebra,” said a longtime friend.

The position, which is now largely symbolic, represents trust among the species. The Keeper of the Nut is chosen annually on November 11, by ballots cast by members of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). The Surrender of the Nut to the Keeper of the Nut takes place each year on November 14.

Click here for more information on the Keeper of the Nut.

Born a Skunk, Stinktier set to embrace life as a Zebra

By

Scentient Beings

Reekabilly star Faramund Stinktier plans to seek an official species status change

Many Park Animals may believe that Faramund Stinktier has gone underground since his shocking revelation in September that he believes he was meant to be a Zebra. But nothing could be further from the truth.[pullquote]We only have one life and I would be doing myself a disservice to deny who I am for the whole of mine.—Reekabilly star Faramund Stinktier[/pullquote]

The Reekabilly star, composer, and one half of the SCENTient Beings duo says he has no plans to retreat from Park life, nor to deny his own reality, however much it irritates certain groups in The Park.

“We only have one life and I would be doing myself a disservice to deny who I am for the whole of mine,” Stinktier says.

Not surprisingly, he also utters those words in the trailer for his new reality series, Life in a Different Stripe, set to début in January on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV).

The Mammalian Daily sat down with Stinktier for an hour-long interview in early October. The full interview will appear in the newspaper in the coming weeks. Here are a few highlights from our emotional meeting:

  • Stinktier confirmed that he will seek an official change of his species status in the new year
  • He says that life has become “more complicated” than it was before his announcement, but that he anticipated an even worse reaction to his news than he has received, “Although I would never say it’s been easy.”
  • Stinktier has no immediate plans to change abodes or to attempt to join a Zebra herd. “I don’t expect them to embrace me with any zeal, but I hope they’ll come to understand that I am sincere.”
  • Stinktier says he welcomes the opportunity to bring issues related to his own feelings and choices out in the open and would welcome the opportunity to become an advocate and a mentor to those in similar situations.
  • He will continue his musical career full-time and has no intention of letting anything interfere with it.
  • SCENTient Beings concerts and recordings are selling well, despite a boycott by Park Zebras.

Peacekeepers to attend first Stereotype Sunday since Stinktier revelation

By

Does of Peace

Unrest assured: Does and Doves of Peace to attend today’s Stereotype Sunday

Recent unrest in The Park’s Zebra community has prompted The Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) to call on the Doves and Does of Peace to attend today’s Stereotype Sunday.

In a media communiqué released this morning, DWBS Director of Public Relations Cornelius Kakapo confirmed the deployment “in anticipation of any disturbance of the peace which the weekly event is intended to foster.”

The unrest began on Wednesday night, soon after the broadcast of the Yannis Tavros show during which SCENTient Beings singer and composer Faramund Stinktier revealed that he believed he was meant to be a Zebra.

A hastily-organized protest that started outside Toro Talk Radio, which broadcasts the Tavros show live, spilled out onto the streets in the early morning hours of Thursday and has continued to grow over the past few days. The protest now includes a makeshift headquarters for organizers Jafari Pundamilia and Elton Zebra outside the Ancient Open-Air Theatre, the site of the weekly Stereotype Sundays.

The protest centres around one issue, according to a statement released by the organizers on Friday morning—that Stinktier “knows nothing of the struggles of the Zebra community and that he has co-opted the experience of thousands of years of Zebra life for his own purposes and to fulfil his own desires.”

Signed by Pundamilia and Zebra on behalf of the worldwide Zebra community, the statement concludes, “We respectfully submit that Faramund Stinktier has committed a crime against The Park’s Zebra community by perpetuating a stereotype and using that stereotype for the betterment of his own life.”

Although Park Police are believed to be on standby this afternoon, Officer Gareth Shepherd told The Mammalian Daily that none of his officers has been formally assigned to the event.

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