Searching for the Spitman: A Journey Through Foam, Froth, and Fun
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Directed by Ernesto Santiago Camello | 23 minutes | Final screening October 5 at the Park Cinema
We’re all familiar with our friend Stan the Spitman’s signature phrase, “Spitballs from Heaven!” Yet how much do we know about the Spitman, himself?
Not a lot, as it turns out. But writer and director Ernesto Santiago Camello has set out to change all that in this alarmingly candid short film about one of The Park’s funniest citizens engaged in one of the world’s oldest professions: spitmaking.
Estanislao “Stan” Gonzalo de Llama is a second generation SpitMeister, a master of the art of spitmaking.
“It’s an honourable profession,” he says with a wry smile, “that makes products used for dishonourable purposes.”
That wasn’t always so, as Camello demonstrates in his short look back at the history of spitmaking. But, these days, Stan estimates that about ninety per cent of his products go toward humiliating other Animals.
“It’s a fact of life in the profession,” he says. “But it doesn’t keep me up at night.”
Camello follows Stan through his day, from rising long before dawn to set a pot on the fire, to the arduous task of mixing, boiling, and stirring the ingredients.
“I tell my clients it’s an old family recipe, but it’s not. I made it up on the fly and it worked…because the fly stuck to the wall,” he jokes.
The film is full of lines like that—jokes that wouldn’t even be funny if they came out of another Animal’s mouth. But Stan gets away with it, largely because he is an honourable Animal. Last year, for instance, when Milton Struts, then head of the Park Finance Office, found himself covered in spitballs at the PIFF Awards ceremony, Stan secretly sent him a gift certificate for a full “do” at The Pluming Room.
“I don’t even know for sure that it was my spit they were using, but I know how it would feel and I didn’t think he deserved that. I’m not sure any Animal does,” he says in one of his more thoughtful moments in the film.
In another of those moments, Stan lets slip that if he hadn’t been pressured into joining the family business, he probably would have become a comedian or even a musician. And just so you don’t dwell on the poignancy of that admission, he quickly offers up another:
“No matter what, I’d have made my way back to spit[making]. It’s in my DNA,” he laughs.
If you blink, you could miss it.
Introducing PIFF Piffle: relevant irrelevancies about our annual film fest
The Park really heats up in the Autumn, with celebrations, migrations, and hibernation preparation. Mark your calendars so you don’t miss a thing! Here’s just a taste of what’s in store for October 2019.
Yes, folks, it’s that time of year again! Time to screen some great films by Park Animals. PIFFPockets and Noon Nuttiness films are back, as are the parties, the after-parties, and the after-after parties! Not to mention the inevitable claw-biting before the awarding of the Golden Cougar. Again this year, the festival has paired with celebrity chef Tab Tricolore to bring you “PIFF Experience Packages,”, so you can pair the great food at his restaurants with the PIFF 2019 films!
Park Harvest Festival
Annual Snowbird Farewell
Annual Account of the State of The Park
POPS go the candidates:
All PIFF documentaries are good. Some, of course, are better than others. Then, there are those that are spectacular.
It was announced yesterday that actress Mary Margay will attend the gala opening of the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) on Saturday, October 1.
Millicent Hayberry has more than four weeks to confirm her candidacy for 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), but that hasn’t stopped political commentators and others from speculating on the effects her candidacy—and her career— would have on one of The Park’s few elected positions.
