Less than a week after the end of the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF), Stan the Spitman is speaking out about the unlawful use of his product at PIFF events.
In an op-ed piece published today in The Burro Beacon, Estanislao “Stan” Gonzalo de Llama condemned in no uncertain terms what some Animals did with his product at the film festival. And he let it be known that he intends to put a stop to it.
“I am proud of what I make and I don’t make it to be used to attack others, particularly others whose species or politics differ from my own,” he wrote in the newspaper.
The second generation SpitMeister (master of the art of spitmaking) was referring to the repeated use of spitballs at the screening of WINK, which opened the festival on October 1. Police charged twenty-one Animals with crimes of a specist nature after they threw spitballs at the director and other attendees as they entered the Park Cinema.
Although Stan has never condoned that sort of behaviour, he expressed a different view about it in Searching for the Spitman: A Journey Through Foam, Froth, and Fun, a film about his life that premiered at PIFF 2015.
In that film, he estimated that ninety per cent of his products go toward humiliating other Animals.
“It’s a fact of life in the profession,” he said. “But it doesn’t keep me up at night.”
In today’s o-ed piece, however, he said he’d changed his mind after witnessing events at this year’s festival.
“I can’t stand by and watch Animals use my product that way anymore,” he wrote. “It needs to stop.”


PIFF organizers appeared jubilant last night, as they gathered outside The Park Cinema following the screening of the festival’s opening film, Naked, Toothless, and Blind. Alongside them, celebrities and reporters stood, dodging flashbulbs and waving to the adoring crowd.
WINK director G.D. Zebra will host a pre-premiere party tonight at Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station, The Mammalian Daily has learned.
The Park’s social media darling gewper (pronounced “Gooper”) is said to be in talks with producer Egbert Bunzing to bring a scented film to the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) next year.
It’s been over a month since Park citizens heard the rumour that Millicent Hayberry was considering a bid for 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).
Jargonhead may have been the headliner and the SCENTient Beings may have unveiled their new “reekabilly” sound but, according to The Beasts of Burden’s lead singer Alfredo Ox, the real stars of this past weekend’s music festival were the Does of Peace.
It looks as though one half of the musical duo SCENTient Beings may not be what he seems.


