The Mammalian Daily

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Heads up! Something’s Fishy at Park’s upcoming Stereotype Sunday

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SomethingFishyBlueplusBorderSomething fishy is up this weekend in The Park: our usual Stereotype Sunday is about to go underwater to bring us more in touch with the lives of our piscine population.

At a joint press conference this morning, Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons and Cornelius Kakapo, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) made the announcement.

“The Park’s Stereotype Sundays just celebrated their third birthday this past Summer. While we are proud of what we’ve been able to accomplish with this initiative, we realize there is so much more work that needs to be done. For this reason, we’ve decided to add a theme to one week out of our four Stereotype Sunday gatherings. We feel that a theme will better enable us to understand each other by allowing us to focus on one particular group and we are happy to announce that this Sunday we will be focusing on our piscine population,” Alouatta said.

Though he declined to answer reporters’ questions, Kakapo did say that they chose to focus on The Park’s Fish this week because “our Fish have not received as much attention as have other groups.”

From now on, the themed Stereotype Sundays will occur on the last Sunday of every month.

Noreen to chair UWT forum on effects of Human architecture on other Animals

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Official NoreenThe President and Governors of the University of West Terrier announced today that Noreen will chair a forum on the effects of Human architecture on the lives of other Animals. The forum, which will be hosted by the UWT School of Architecture, will take place on the university’s campus on October 8 and 9.

The university called the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human studies the “perfect choice” to chair the discussion because “her abilities as a mediator and as a researcher are exceptional.”

Participants in the forum will include faculty members of the UWT School of Architecture as well as faculty of the Schools of Medicine and Economics and Social Science. In addition, the university has invited community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health and well-being to share their knowledge and expertise.

Read the university’s full announcement here.

Park to host first media circus this weekend

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Wednesday Rewind:
Original publication date: 29 July 2011

In an effort to acquaint citizens, residents, and visitors with the important work that they do, The Park’s various media outlets will host a circus this weekend at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

An open invitation, posted at the Wishing Well by Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP), encourages “all Animals who reside, frequent, or visit The Park,” to come out this weekend to meet the press.

“[We think that] all Animals should avail themselves of the opportunity to meet those of us who work in the media, especially the reporters. These are the Animals who struggle against seemingly insurmountable odds and who put their lives at risk every day to bring back accurate accountings of goings-on, both inside and outside The Park,” van de Gier said in an interview on PBC Radio this morning.

The two-day event is the first of its kind in The Park. Every Park newspaper, magazine, radio, and television station will be represented in some form. In addition, the AMOP president said, there will be “fun and games” for both young and old. These will include a chance to “play reporter” by covering your choice of a mock trial at the Court House, a disease outbreak at The Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, or a play opening at the Burrow Theatre. Other mock events planned are hosting a radio interview, following a police chase, and rummaging through a celebrity Animal’s garbage.There will be many prizes awarded, as well, van de Gier said, and the top prize will be the chance to be interviewed on Toro Talk Radio by host Yannis Tavros.

For those who find the event so riveting that they are moved to make a career change, representatives of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism will be on hand to explain just what is involved in training for a career in media.

Who: Representatives of all Park media outlets
What: Media Circus
Where: Ancient, Open-Air Theatre
When: July 30-31
Why: Meet the press, ask questions, learn about media, play reporter, have fun

Justice orders Rotte, Stinktier to meet after Sunday’s Spoken Word incident

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Mr Justice Augustus DindonMr. Justice Augustus Dindon has ordered the legal representatives of Gunnar Rotte and Faramund Stinktier to arrange a meeting between the two parties within the next ten days.

The Superior Court justice took the unprecedented action after an incident that occurred between the two on Sunday afternoon at the Beats of Burden Music Festival’s Spoken Word stage.

Rotte took the stage mid-afternoon in front of a significant crowd, many of whom he’d invited via Twitter to witness his first ever SWE performance (Spoken Word Extemporaneous). He was just about to leave the stage after finishing his number, “Chock Tock,” when he noticed Stinktier in the crowd. Claiming the audience was calling for an encore, Rotte took back the microphone and embarked on a takedown of everything Stinktier, including his music, his band, and his decision to transition to a Zebra.

While some in the audience egged him on, many were deeply offended and called for him to be pulled from the stage. Stinktier refused to get involved and left the area, which seemed to incite Rotte further. Finally, three Does of Peace moved him from the stage and into the custody of Park Police.

Rotte, who was charged in August with disturbing the peace and inciting violence at The Park’s weekly Stereotype Sunday, is already scheduled to appear before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in October. Those charges are also related to his behaviour vis à vis Stinktier.

When news of the SWE matter reached the justice, he put out the call for a meeting.

“Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon is of the belief that much of this matter could be resolved through personal discussion. He does not believe the courts should get involved unnecessarily,” said a spokesAnimal for the Court.

Rotte is represented by Pernilla Varghund, junior partner in Terrier, Terrier, Wolfhound and Shepherd, while Stinktier has engaged the services of Zvonimir Kojot of the law firm founded by Ingmar Prärievarg. Neither has spoken publicly about the justice’s order.

Button maker received order for Millicent Hayberry candidacy: rumour

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It’s been over a month since Park citizens heard the rumour that Millicent Hayberry was considering a bid for 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

Though she has kept mum on the subject, a source close to one of The Park’s most prominent button makers has told The Mammalian Daily that  the company received an order to produce buttons for her campaign.

The source, who wishes to remain anonymous, said the order came in two weeks ago from a “campaign leader.” The order is said to be for three different versions of a button, one of the prototypes of which appears on this page.

Hayberry, who is wrapping up her performance at the Burrow Theatre in “Godwit,” the first of three mystery plays by Gianfranco Colocolo, is expected to make some form of announcement before the end of the month. Candidates have until November 5 to enter the race.

Sources tell The Mammalian Daily that were Hayberry to run, she would have the support of Hieronymous Hedgehog, along with a number of other prominent hibernators. Her candidacy may lean heavily on the idea of “breaking the species barrier,” since all successful candidates for POPS have been Groundhogs. Nevertheless, since the 2011 and 2012 candidacies of Zachariah Skunk and Lorenzo Michele Chipmunk, there has been a call for broadening the field in this election and making the list of candidates more representative of The Park’s population.

The Endeka Elephant Band plays on without its beloved bassist

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Tembo bass

Zuberi Tembo’s bass stood in front of the band last night at the Beats of Burden Music Festival

The ten remaining members of The Endeka Elephant Band took to the stage last night for the first time since the death this past July of their beloved bassist, Zuberi Tembo.

In an emotional mid-set tribute during the first night of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, each member of the band placed a rose at the foot of Tembo’s bass, which stood at the front of the stage for the entirety of their set.

It was a fitting acknowledgement of the Elephant they described as “a gentle soul who loved music and valued freedom.”

“Even though we miss him terribly, we know that Zuberi’s spirit is with us now and will live on forever in the music he made, in the work he did, and in his tireless fight for freedom,” band member Árvakur Fíl said.

The band followed that with a sweet and tearful rendition of “Recollections” and ended their set with “Seismic Connections.” They returned for only one encore: Tembo’s rousing, “Food For All.”

The Endeka Elephant Band returns tonight to play one last set at the festival.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival continues until midnight 18 September 2016.

#PIFFPiffle: Rumour says Tab Tricolore to open Tabby Club to all for PIFF 2016

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The Tabby ClubThe latest out of the PIFF 2016 rumour mill is that celebrity chef Tab Tricolore intends to open up The Tabby Club to all during the five-day film fest.

The pub, which was founded and run by Jor, The Park’s first leader, has always been a “striped-only” establishment. That has caused some controversy in the past and in May, Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros launched his #BullinTheTabbyClub campaign after he was was denied entry to the pub.

But now, those close to him say that the Bad Boy chef has decided throw open the doors of his pub to all. But only for the duration of the festival.

“He wants to do it to celebrate the spirit of ‘full equality of experience,’ which is what WINK, the opening film, is all about,”  says Barry “Béarnaise” Burmilla, the chef’s former saucier.

According to our sources, the celebrity chef and restaurateur was the driving force behind choosing WINK as the festival’s opening night film. WINK explores the experience of a group of Park citizens as they make the transition from being Animals of pattern to living their lives as solid-coloureds. The film’s subject matter is believed to be so dear to Tricolore’s heart that he was among the film’s financial backers.

Tricolore is expected to make an official announcement regarding the opening of The Tabby Club in the next few days.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) runs from 1-5 October 2016.

Hibernation and estivation benefit the economy in many ways: PASS

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Wednesday Rewind
Original publication date: 4 September 2014

Hibernation and estivation are good for The Park’s economy, according to a report released today by the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

PASS released the report less than two weeks before our estivating population is scheduled to return to full participation in Park life.

“The timing is not insignificant,” said Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Association.

“They’re a beleaguered bunch [estivators] and we thought we could use the findings in this report to offer them a proper welcome back to life.”

Whistlepig, who is himself a hibernator, said the last few years have been difficult for Park Animals who hibernate or estivate.

“We and our way of life have been under siege for a number of years, ever since the economic downturn, in fact,” he says. “There seems to be less tolerance these days for the differences among us.”

That was the one of the main reasons that PASS decided to commission a report on the subject.

“Some of our numbers were used in another report that was released in the Spring. It showed some gains in the fourth quarter of 2013 which were attributed to the delay in the official hibernation date and that led to the conclusion that hibernation was a drag on the economy.

As Association president, I felt that our numbers had been misconstrued, so I asked for a full accounting from our members. They were very enthusiastic in their agreement to participate,” he says.

Whistlepig says the new report, which analyzes figures from 2008-2013, demonstrates definitively that hibernation benefits The Park’s economy.

“First of all, it creates jobs on a regular basis. Every job a hibernator or estimator holds has two Animals performing it,” Whistlepig says.

“Now, to those who consider that a drag on the economy, we say ‘think again.’ That’s two Animals who have currency to spend in our shops and for our services. And one of those two Animals needs to prepare for say, hibernation, before and after. Those are purchases that wouldn’t be made, otherwise. There are shops that cater to hibernators and estivators and they wouldn’t exist without those customers,” he contends.

Whistlepig says our hibernating and estivating citizens should be seen for what they are: a stimulating presence, both economically and culturally.

“We hope this report puts this foolishness to rest,” he says.

The Association’s full report will be made available to the public next week.

PMoCA unveils Slow Art Movement painting in honour of Park’s estivators

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Heike Slak

Slow artist Heike Slak’s “Beacon”

Tomorrow marks the official end of estivation. It’s time to welcome back the friends we haven’t seen for over two months and to move into The Park’s busy Autumn social season.

But even though a large number of Park Animals will be coming out of a state of torpor tomorrow, estivation traditionally has not received as much attention as its Winter counterpart, hibernation.

All that is set to change in the coming years and the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) is leading the way.

Tomorrow evening, in honour of our estivating citizens, the PMoCA will unveil a painting by slow artist Heike Slak.

The painting, which bears the title, “Beacon,” was commissioned last year by the museum.

“This is the first work by a slow artist that we have displayed. We are very proud to hang this painting in the PMoCA in honour of our estivators. and we look forward to a long and happy relationship with the Slow Art Movement,” the museum’s head curator Aamuun Maroodiga told the press this morning.

Slak, who will come out of estivation tomorrow, delivered the painting to the museum at the end of May.  Maroodiga confirmed at the press gathering that Slak will attend the unveiling tomorrow evening.

The Beats gets bigger: lineup for music festival’s fourth year announced today

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Beats of Burden logo“Bigger” and “better” were the words most often uttered this morning as Beasts of Burden lead singer Alfredo Ox announced the lineup for the fourth annual Beats of Burden Music Festival.

“We know that bigger isn’t always better, but in this case it is,” Ox told the throng of reporters outside The Draft, the pub that he and his Beasts of Burden bandmates own.

“We asked ourselves, what could make this event better? How do we stay true to our purpose without this becoming just another music festival?”

The answer to that question, Ox said, was to bring the musical and other acts closer to that purpose.

“We want The Park’s refugees, who are the festival’s raison d’être, to always be within your sight or hearing. We want you —no matter what you’re listening to, no matter what you’re watching, no matter what you’re eating—to have our refugees front and centre in your mind. Yes, we want you to have a Whale of a time, and that’s no pun. NIML will be at the festival, down by the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond. But we also want you to remember that this is a charity festival, a festival with a purpose, not just a Porpoise,” he said, as the crowd groaned.

As far as the music lineup goes, many of these groups have performed at the festival before: Inktvis and Krake, Eggie and The Pigs, The Feral Four, The Canary Cousins, Banded Brothers, Spontaneous Generation, NIML, rapper Will.o.be., The Cynics, The Tweeters, Les Chiens Débraillés, GHC, Jargohead, Fish Rap, and The DomEstyx.

But there are newcomers, such as Belles and Whistles and Memes of Production and up-and-comers, including Erdferkel!, plucked just past Friday from the Beats in the Bar (formerly the Open Mic at The Draft), as well as last year’s pick, The Crumb Seekers.

Even bigger musical news comes in the form of Last Stand, the band whose members all hail from endangered species, and ZEAL, who begged off last year’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice because he refused to play at the same event as the SCENTient Beings’ Faramund Stinktier. The Beats will feature both, though they’ll play at different venues.

As well, Ox said he personally invited The Endeka Elephant Band, whose bassist, Zuberi Tembo, was killed this summer on a trip home to Africa. The band agreed to play on two of the three days of the festival, and Ox said he took that as a compliment.

“Zuberi Tembo was a refugee and I think the band wanted to honour that,” he said.

This year’s festival will introduce a new category, Spoken Word Extemporaneous (SWE), which Ox said he’s particularly excited about. And the comedy portion will feature Dalmanik and Woodruff Dalmatio, with a few “surprises” in store for Saturday.

Another first for the festival is the Rodent gymnastic troupe, “Out of the Box.” Ox was also proud to announce that the organizers of the annual Park ART Walk had agreed to resurrect their 2014 exhibit, “From Fear to Freedom,” which highlights the art of The Park’s refugees.

As usual, the Beasts of Burden will take the stage every day and night and they’ll be acting as auctioneers during Saturday night’s gala auction.

With all that, and the “long list of surprises” that Ox boasted about, it’s hard not to believe that this bigger Beats will be even better.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival will take place at venues throughout The Park 16-18 September 2016.

All proceeds from the festival go toward assisting The Park’s refugees.

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