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OTD in 2012—Park Historical Society to produce series of short films

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The Park Historical Society announced today that it has begun production on a series of historical vignettes that it intends to screen at venues throughout The Park, as well as on major television stations.

At a press conference held this morning, PHS President Clark Cascanueces said the series of vignettes, which are called “Long Story Shorts”, will cover important events in Park history from “the very beginnings of a community here, to the establishment of zoocracy and beyond.”

Asked about the impetus for the endeavour, Cascanueces admitted the PHS has been remiss in its educational duties of late.

“We do acknowledge that part of our mandate in preserving and protecting Park history is to educate future generations about their past,” he said. “And, I admit, that that part of our duty has been neglected, in part due to our involvement with The Park Museum. But, it’s come to our attention in recent months that young Animals do not appear to be as aware of The Park’s beginnings as we would have them be and, as a result of this, we decided to take immediate action. We formed an outreach committee and we have engaged the services of a number of well-known Park filmmakers, who generously offered their services to us, free of charge.”

The vignettes, which are expected to be ten to twenty seconds in length, will begin airing within the calendar year, Cascanueces said.

OTD in 2016—”Unfit to predict:” Rotte launches campaign against Tavros’s POPS bid

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gunnartweetoct18In a full-on offensive this morning, Gunnar Rotte let it be known that he believes radio talk show host Yannis Tavros is an unfit candidate for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

At a gathering outside the law courts, Rotte said that Tavros’s past remarks about hibernators prove that he is not only unaware of the reality of hibernators’ lives, but that he has no respect for them or for the importance of the Groundhog Day prediction.

“How can we support a candidate who believes that hibernators are less intelligent than other Animals?” Rotte asked, as onlookers chanted what has become his signature phrase, “Unfit to predict!”

Tavros has gotten himself into trouble on a number of occasions for making disparaging remarks about hibernators. Recently, Tavros tweeted that he believed there was a difference in intelligence between hibernators and other Animals. But most notably, he was suspended in 2013 by Toro Talk Radio after saying that Hieronymous Hedgehog hailed from “part of a family that isn’t even smart enough to know when to come out of hibernation.” The reference was to  the Hedgehog’s uncle who served as Archon in 1998 and who died of premature awakening from hibernation ten years later. Tavros was accused of spreading ignorance and disrespecting an Archon and other hibernators. He and Hieronymous made peace later, but his support was noticeably absent last year when Hieronymous was made The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador and he has criticized him repeatedly for being the spokesAnimal for the hibneration outfitter GoUnderground.

Back at the law courts, Rotte pledged to grow his campaign against Tavros until the Bull suspended his campaign.

“We will not, under any circumstances, tolerate the running of the Bull,” Rotte said.

OTD in 2015—Born a Skunk, Stinktier set to embrace life as a Zebra

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Scentient BeingsMany Park Animals may believe that Faramund Stinktier has gone underground since his shocking revelation in September that he believes he was meant to be a Zebra. But nothing could be further from the truth.

The Reekabilly star, composer, and one half of the SCENTient Beings duo says he has no plans to retreat from Park life, nor to deny his own reality, however much it irritates certain groups in The Park.

“We only have one life and I would be doing myself a disservice to deny who I am for the whole of mine,” Stinktier says.

Not surprisingly, he also utters those words in the trailer for his new reality series, Life in a Different Stripe, set to début in January on Vertebrate Vision Television (VVTV).

The Mammalian Daily sat down with Stinktier for an hour-long interview in early October. The full interview will appear in the newspaper in the coming weeks. Here are a few highlights from our emotional meeting:

  • Stinktier confirmed that he will seek an official change of his species status in the new year
  • He says that life has become “more complicated” than it was before his announcement, but that he anticipated an even worse reaction to his news than he has received, “Although I would never say it’s been easy.”
  • Stinktier has no immediate plans to change abodes or to attempt to join a Zebra herd. “I don’t expect them to embrace me with any zeal, but I hope they’ll come to understand that I am sincere.”
  • Stinktier says he welcomes the opportunity to bring issues related to his own feelings and choices out in the open and would welcome the opportunity to become an advocate and a mentor to those in similar situations.
  • He will continue his musical career full-time and has no intention of letting anything interfere with it.
  • SCENTient Beings concerts and recordings are selling well, despite a boycott by Park Zebras.

OTD in 2015—Nesthetics gets the nod again to build Groundhog Day prognostication pad

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Groundhog Day celebrationsIt’s that time of year again.

The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations announced today that for the second year in a row, it has engaged the services of Nesthetics to build and service the Groundhog Day prognostication pad.

In a short statement released this morning, the department said it was impressed by the sturdiness and “forward-thinking design” of the company’s 2015 pad. That pad was the first in Park history to include colours other than green.

In fact, the pad’s blue base and its range of bright colours caused quite a stir. Romulus Bowerbird, the Nesthetics designer responsible for the pad, caused a stir of his own, too, when he defended his aesthetic choices during live coverage of the Groundhog Day ceremonies by saying that he thought green was overused but, “Many of my best friends are green.”

Nevertheless, Bowerbird is considered to be one of The Park’s foremost designers, and one who is not afraid to take chances or to risk failure.

In a prognostication of his own earlier in the week, Bowerbird tweeted out that he was sure his company would be “2 for 2 on Groundhog Day.” He said nothing, however, about an early Spring.

OTD in 2012—Chief Archon’s “Barrels full of Monkeys”remark spurs call for widespread change

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A remark made by Chief Archon George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt at an important event has spurred a call for widespread change in The Park’s political process.

During the Annual Account of the State of The Park on October 27, Newt was asked about the recent finding that striped and spotted Animals do not fare as well economically as Animals who have solid or mixed coats.

“When I became Chief Archon,” he said, “I looked around at those who were serving in the various [government] departments and I saw that they were all Dogs and Cats and Geese and Whales and Dolphins and Snakes and Toads. And I said, ‘Why are there no Monkeys working in the government?’ So I got a group together to look at the problem and they brought me barrels full of Monkeys.”

While some believe the remark was a “misunderstanding of the question,” many Animals were outraged at what they called the Chief Archon’s “total lack of sensitivity toward Park Animals.” More vociferous critics declared Newt “unfit for the job”.

Antoine Lézard, who recently assumed the presidency of the newly-formed Coalition Against Sortition in the Park (CASP) called the Chief Archon’s remarks “toxic” and said that this is “just one more example of the inadequacy of the present system of Archon selection.”

“In my opinion,” he said, “Newt is not qualified to be an Archon and he would not be an Archon if Park Animals had been able to select Archons directly. Newt owes his position to a lottery and it is the Coalition’s belief that governance of The Park is too serious a matter to be decided by lottery.”

Archons who have served throughout the 30 years since zoocracy was established have been selected through sortition.  Also known as the “allotment” or “lottery” method, this is the system that was put in place by Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy.

Proposals for change in the Archon selection process have been made for over a decade. Thus far, however, they have failed to gain traction, since many Park Animals are still wary of the direct selection process.

“Sortition allows for a balance of species in the Archon mix,” contends Sylvana Rana, of the anti-election group, Save Our Political System (SOPS). “Direct elections can become a personality contest and the result could be the loss of adequate representation of many species.”

In Lézard’s view, Park Animals need to “be more forward-thinking.”

“Direct selection works well outside The Park. There is no reason it wouldn’t work well here, too,” he says.

In the meantime, the Chief  Archon, whose appointment ends on January 16, 2013, has refused to comment on the controversy he created.

OTD in 2012—Park celebrations “joyous” despite heavy police presence

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Not even the presence of a record number of police officers could mar Park residents’ enjoyment of this year’s Autumn festivals.

In fact, according to its organizers, the 20th annual Harvest Festival saw its largest turnout in history on Thursday. Friday’s annual Snowbird Farewell was also an extremely popular event this year.

“We were a bit worried, what with the recent violence, that fewer Animals would show up,” said Cécile Bardot, who assumed the position of president of the organizing committee in March.

“But, as it turns out, we had nothing to worry about. It was a joyous, joyous occasion, full of food and fun and music and laughter…[it was] a real celebration of the work that we accomplished this year.”

And, although festival-goers did notice the police, many seemed not to mind.

“It’s unusual to see police here,” acknowledged Dewi Beruang, who has attended the last seven Harvest Festivals. “I just assumed they came to celebrate, just like we did, and they seemed to be having a good time,” she said.

_______________________________________________________________________

SEE ALSO:

                Hundreds jailed after Noon Nuttiness protest turns violent
                Has Anixi Agrarian Jubilee become too politicized?
                Archons, PFO blasted over Human Direct Investment in Park
                Food production scandal rocks Park 

_______________________________________________________________________

Indeed, they did have a good time, according to Gareth Shepherd, President of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW), who oversaw security at both festivals. But, that wasn’t their prime objective.

“We were here to make sure that peace prevailed,” he said.

Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations confirmed that the department felt the need for an obvious police presence at the two celebrations.

“We were sensing a degree of unrest in the populace, and with the two festivals coming so soon after the Noon Nuttiness fiasco, we didn’t think we could take any chances,” she said.

OTD in 2015—Less than three weeks left to confirm your eligibility for Archon selection: DPA

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The Department of Political Administration (DPA) has issued a reminder to all Park citizens: you have until the end of October to confirm your eligibility to stand as a candidate for Archon.

“The department wishes to remind all adult Park citizens that, by law, they must confirm their eligibility to stand as candidates for Archon and they must do so by the end of October,” says the reminder.

According to the rules of zoocracy, illness constitutes the only exception to this rule. Animals who are ill and who believe they would be unable to fulfil their duties as Archon due to their illness are required to advise the department of their circumstances by submitting a Form 12.

“Since sortition is the method by which we select Archons, we depend on the full cooperation of adult citizens,” DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said in a radio interview this morning.

And lest you consider withholding your name for any reason, Fourmi reminded listeners that last year, one citizen did just that and found himself charged and convicted  of “Cease to Care.”

“Because all of this was established at the time of zoocracy as an obligation of citizenship, we take it very seriously when Animals refuse to participate,” she said.

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