The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2014—AVN TV to turn its lens on Humans

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This Autumn, the AVN Television Network (AVN TV) will begin broadcasting a new live television series that will focus on Humans as they spend time in The Park.

AVN’s Chief Executive Officer Orville Condor and Program Director Izrine Corneille made the announcement at a press conference this morning.

“We [at AVN TV] have a unique perspective on The Park, and we want to use that perspective to serve our customers,” Corneille said. “This show is truly for the Birds. It will be amazing … watching them watch us watching them.”

Corneille said the show will be broadcast for two hours (one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon) every day of the week. The network’s initial contract with the show’s producers calls for the series to run for 12 consecutive months.

“We wanted to show Humans in every season, starting with the Autumn,” Condor said. 

The show is scheduled to begin on September 22.

AVN Television is a wholly-owned subsidiary of AVN Media, a Park-based media corporation whose holdings also include AVN Radio, CLucK Radio and The Avian Messenger.

OTD in 2015—PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

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PollinatePark Finance Office head Valentina Abeja took some time off today from talking about her 2017 budget to discuss what she calls her ultimate passion: pollination.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio’s Sunday morning show, Abeja, who presented her second budget on August 17, strongly encouraged her compatriots to “get out and pollinate for the good of The Park and its residents.”

“I implore all who are able to get out and do your job and pollinate, for the sake of our survival,” she said.

Abeja also took the opportunity to unveil an initiative that she and A.P. Civet, president of the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), collaborated on. Called “Pollinators’ Progress,” the initiative helps pollinators keep track of their efforts and rewards them through a points system.

“It’s simple,” Abeja said. “The more points you receive, the more rewards come your way.”

Although Abeja did not elaborate on the nature of the “rewards,” the PFO head was quick to quash any notions that this was a system of payment for pollinators.

“We are not in the business of paying Park citizens to pollinate. Not at all. What we are doing is trying to encourage those who can to get out and do their part for The Park,” she said.

OTD in 2014—Finance Office puts 2015 Budget info under embargo until Friday

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embargoPark Animals will have to wait until Friday to find out how the Park Finance Office (PFO) intends to spend its funds in the coming year.

In a directive to all media (now in possession of the 2015 budget), Park Finance Officer Milton Struts cautioned against disclosing any information until a scheduled press conference at noon on Friday.

The budget, which is already two weeks late, has been the subject of much speculation since The Mammalian Daily broke the story in July that the Archons planned to tackle the growing inequality among Park Animals by streamlining the 2015 budget.

According to a trusted source close to the PFO, changes in the budget could include eliminating the 3% of funds that were allocated to tourism and tourism promotion, returning arts and sports funding to the levels set in the 2012 budget (more than twice the 2014 levels), and shaving a bit off special events to pay for better weather, healthcare and refugee services.

OTD in 2014—Beasts of Burden to hold pre-festival open mic night at pub they own

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The Draft signThe Beasts of Burden are planning to hold a pre-festival open mic night on August 31st at The Draft, the pub by the Wishing Well that is owned by the musical group.

According to their manager Ignatius Herder, the band wants to give Park residents a chance to “warm up” in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which they founded last year.

“It’s a party … to celebrate a party,” Herder said.

All Animals are welcome to join in the fun, but the Beasts request that those who wish to play or sing add their names to a list that will be posted outside the pub on Wednesday morning.

“It will be a great time but be prepared to stay out all night,” Herder says.

“And, if we find some unknown Park talents, we will invite them to perform at the festival.”

Beats of Burden logo

Open Mic night at The Draft on 31 August: Doors open at 6:00 p.m. 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival: 12-14 September

OTD in 2016—Starting in September, join us for our weekly Wednesday Rewind!

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ПечатьAs of September, visitors to The Mammalian Daily’s main web site will be able to enjoy our Wednesday Rewind along with our Facebook and Twitter followers.

Every Wednesday, we’ll post an article from a bygone era. You’ll know it’s a Wednesday Rewind article when you see the symbol on this article.

So, enjoy your weekly blast from the past, compliments of The Mammalian Daily’s chief archivist. See you in September!

OTD in 2014—Millicent Hayberry to host “Chipmunk Chinwag” after Mixed Nuts screening

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MillicentHayberry Actress Millicent Hayberry, who played the late Park writer Imogen Aardeekhoorn on both stage and screen, will host a “Chipmunk Chinwag” following the free encore screening of Mixed Nuts, her publicist has confirmed.

“Millicent will take questions about the film production, but she will also answer audience queries about Aardeekhoorn herself. Since the writer’s death last month, the public has exhibited an interest in her personal life as well as her professional life. Imogen and Millicent were friends and Millicent feels reasonably qualified to answer some of these questions,” the publicist said.

The free encore screening of Mixed Nuts is scheduled to take place at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre at 6:00 p.m. on October 2.

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival will run 1-5 October, 2014.

OTD in 2014—PIFF 2014 to honour Aardeekhorn

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Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe 2014 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) will honour the memory of writer Imogen Aardeekhoorn.

At a press conference held this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot confirmed that the festival will host a free encore screening of last year’s hit Mixed Nuts at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre on October 2 at 6:00 p.m.

“Playwright Imogen Aardeekhoorn was as beloved in The Park as she was important to our film industry,” Ocelot said. “We could think of no more fitting a tribute than to offer this screening of her brilliant work.”

“Imogen would have been very pleased and humbled by this gesture,” says the film’s producer Victoria Sciurini. Sciurini worked closely with Aardeekhoorn as the latter adapted her memoir for the big screen.

“She worried about translating the work to film after its huge success on stage. But, as I knew it would, that worry turned out to be unfounded.”

The Park Interspecial Film Festival will run from 1-5 October, 2014.

OTD in 2007—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Golf Ball

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Today’s ball is the GOLF ball.

The golf ball has a long history with Dogs.

Originally known as the “gulf” ball, these dimpled, spherical formations were discovered at the mouth of the Gulf of México, many thousands of years before the common era (and Zoocracy).

Naturally occurring and of limestone, archaeological evidence suggests that the ball’s dimples were formed by erosion that was caused by the thick sands found in the deep Gulf.

Many scholars believe that the first gulf balls were discovered by Chihuahuas who had set up camp in the area. Others are of the opinion that it was the Havanese who were the first to find the gulf ball, living as they did at the mouth of the Gulf of México. All are in agreement, however, that it was, indeed, the Havanese who spearheaded the campaign to manufacture replicas of the ball and to encourage its use as a recreational tool. It was also the Havanese who transported it, many centuries later, to the British Isles.

The first recorded use of the gulf ball was found in the log of a ship captain.

It read:“The dog [sic] brought the stone gulf ball onto the ship and [one of] the crew[men], [who were] by then exhausted and of low spirits, took a long, sharp object and smacked the stone back into the water. The rest of the crew applauded his effort and thought the deed done until the dog brought another stone for smacking…”

Thus was born the game that we now call “Golf,” which is played with the ball of the same name, the word “gulf” having undergone vocalic change as a result of its pairing with the word “ball.”

Since that time, the game and its ball have provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: A Short History of Canine Sport; Balls: History and Prehistory, Volume 1; The Havanese and the Coming of Golf; Golf: The Game and its History; Limestone Cowboys; Balls Across the Water: The True Story of the Gulf Ball; Dimpled Future: The Effect of Golf on the Lives of Humans; various newspaper articles and reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

OTD in 2012—Museum announces appointment of architects

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The Board of Governors of The Park Museum announced today that they have appointed the firm of Fleck + Stone Architects to design the museum building and its surrounding area.

In a statement posted on the museum’s web site, the Board of Governors said the architects have “the vision and the skill to create a beautiful building that will properly house and display the history of The Park and its residents.”

Fleck + Stone is the firm responsible for the design of the Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life and The Park’s Burrow Theatre.

The Park Museum, which will be built at an estimated cost of 5 to 10 million Ftoo, will be located in The Park’s central square. Details on the design elements are forthcoming, according to a spokesAnimal for the Board.

A groundbreaking ceremony is planned for September 2012.

OTD in 2011—Splinter group to stage currency-related protest this weekend

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Mammalian Daily Associated News Services (MDANS) is reporting that some former members of the Association for the Preservation of Individual Currencies (APIC) have disassociated themselves from APIC and created a splinter group to fight currency amalgamation in The Park.

The group, ninety per cent of whose members are Geese, calls itself “Fowl Cry” and plans to stage a two-day protest against currency unification this weekend.

In a statement distributed to all Park media, the group excoriated APIC as a “do-nothing” organization and its current President, Rowena Goose, as a “stand-by and watch” official.

“At a time when it is most important to take action, she [Rowena Goose] has adopted a ‘wait and see’ attitude,” the statement said.  The group has also accused the Goose of feathering her own nest by hoarding the dominant currency (Ftoo), while leaving the rest of Park citizens to fend for themselves.

APIC released a counter-statement early this morning, defending its record and touting its success in staving off currency amalgamation, which has been on the table in The Park for more than seven years. The group did not address the charges that Fowl Cry made against its President, nor has Rowena Goose yet stepped forward to dispute them.

Park Police say they have called in reinforcements in order to keep peace in The Park during the demonstration.

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