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OTD in 2016—Focus On: Archons’ Address

February 1, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Annual Archons' Address

Why is the Archons’ address so important?

The observation of Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts record crowds annually.

But modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well. Park citizens, eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address, the first speech given by the 35 newly-selected Archons.

Let’s focus on the Archons’ address.

THE ARCHONS: WHO ARE THEY?
Each cohort of thirty-five Archons constitutes The Park’s government for a period of one year. The individual Archons hail from every species of citizen in The Park and they are chosen each year through the process known as sortition (lottery).

While their names are announced on January 15, they make their first appearance before The Park’s citizenry on January 16, the day on which they are sworn in. After the ceremony, the Archons go into seclusion and are neither seen nor heard from until Groundhog Day on February 2.

HOW DO THEY DECIDE WHAT TO SAY IN THEIR ADDRESS?
During those sixteen days, the Archons have a chance to get to know each other and to discover each other’s attitudes and opinions regarding the direction in which The Park should move. Economic, social, and health-related issues are the subject of robust discussion and it is through this process of discussion and debate that the Archons develop their agenda for the year.

Ideally, this agenda (which literally means “things to be done”) should address Park citizens’ most pressing needs and concerns. When the governing collective has made its final decision on the important issues that it will address during its tenure, it is ready to draft the Groundhog Day speech.

WHY THE SPEECH IS IMPORTANT TO PARK CITIZENS
Park citizens know virtually nothing about the members of their new government, even as they watch them being sworn in. While many may be acquainted with them personally, it is not likely they know with any certainty where these Animals stand on the important issues that face The Park.

As the Chief Archon reads the speech, she or he reveals the concerns and beliefs of the governing collective and lays the groundwork for the changes that it will attempt to make over the coming year.

That is why the Archons’ address, given on Groundhog Day, is so important to Park citizens.

WHAT PARK ANIMALS ARE LISTENING FOR
The Archons’ address does more than simply list a number of items that are of concern to the Archons or that they hope to act on during their tenure. The speech sets the tone for the new administration and for the relationship it will have with Park citizens.

What Park Animals are listening for are indications that the Archons are not only in tune with their concerns but that they will be open to input from the citizenry. Most who reside in The Park would agree that this is what makes good government.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Focus on, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Archons' address, government

OTD in 2016—ZEAL calls for full investigation into dispute over Gourami Archonship

January 28, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

ZEALPopular Park singer ZEAL has called for a full investigation into the dispute over Zafran Gourami’s Archonship.

On January 16, Gourami was sworn in as an Archon after being selected through the usual procedure of sortition. Ten days later, a Form 15C was submitted to the Department of Political Administration (DPA) disputing Gourami’s eligibility to serve.

ZEAL took to TMD Radio this morning to call on all Park Animals to “dispute this dispute.”

“This is an outrage and the reason for this dispute is obvious,” he said. “Gourami is a striped Fish and this is just another example of the subtle ways in which striped and spotted Animals experience prejudice and unequal treatment in The Park.”

To further his cause, ZEAL initiated a petition calling for the DPA to nullify the dispute and to move on with the business of governing The Park. The first to sign the petition was award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah; the second was Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

Cheetah’s signature came as no surprise. Last year, he announced that he had lost faith in sortition altogether and believed that free elections were “the only path to true equality among the species.”

As for Yamaneko, she has become a vocal supporter of striped and spotted Animals and announced in April that her company would be showcasing the work of these writers.

The Department of Political Administration has not responded to ZEAL nor acknowledged the petition. DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi confirmed on Tuesday that a panel will review the reasons for the dispute and render a decision by February 1.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: government, Park politics, political administration, sortition

OTD in 2016—Department of Political Administration confirms Gourami Archonship in dispute

January 26, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Form 15CThe Department of Political Administration (DPA) confirmed today that it is reviewing the selection of 2016 Archon Zafran Gourami.

In a statement issued this morning, DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said that one Form 15C was submitted yesterday. The department’s statement did not name the Animal who submitted the form.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XIII, of The Park’s Constitution, Park citizens who wish to contest the selection of any Archon or Archons may do so by submitting a formal contest form (Form 15C) to the Department of Political Administration by January 31.

Although this law has existed since the institution of #sortition, very few Form 15Cs have been submitted. In an interview this morning on the Yannis Tavros show, Fourmi said that in the past ten years, the DPA has received only seven Form 15Cs.

“And, of those, only one resulted in a change of Archon,” she said.

Zafran Gourami was sworn in as Archon on January 16, 2016. The reasons for the dispute will be reviewed by a panel that will include members of the DPA, Chief Archon Raymond H. Mink and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. The final decision will be rendered by a majority vote. Should a reason be found to replace Gourami, that replacement will be sworn in on February 1.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #dispute, #parkpoli, Archons, government, sortition

OTD in 2017—PMoCA’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” installation opens to record crowds

January 21, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

pmoca-1The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s first exhibition in honour of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary opened to record crowds yesterday.

According to PMoCA officials, “ARCHONOGRAPHY” broke attendance records dating back to the opening of the museum, itself.

“We were stunned,” said Aulikki Norsu, president of the museum’s board of directors, in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this afternoon.

“We were there until the wee hours of the morning getting everything ready, and when we left to go home, we saw the lineup to get in had already started.”

That was at three in the morning. By the time Norsu returned to open the installation, the line wound five times around the building. It has stayed that long ever since.

The art installation, which the museum describes as “ultra-live,” honours those who’ve served as Archons over the past thirty-five years. Every day until March 31, Park artists will be on-site twelve hours a day to paint portraits of museum-goers’ chosen Archons. All the portraits painted during the installation will hang in the museum until the end of this year.

Head curator Aamuun Maroodiga chose renowned autochthonous artist Hervé Huard, slow artist Fionn-Fionnoula T. Snail, merging artist Hugh Danlami Biri, and Clementina Araña to open the installation. At the time of publication, the group had completed sixteen portraits of past Archons.


The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” runs from January 20-March 31, 2017. Admission to the event is free. 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, artists, portraits of Archons, sortition, Zoocracy 35

OTD in 2010—Park Postal Service issues first commemorative stamp

January 19, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park Postal Service introduced its first commemorative stamp yesterday. The stamp, which honours Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy, features a rarely-seen photograph of Jor. The caption reads, simply, “Our First Leader.”

The stamp carries a value of 55 in Cow currency (approximately .11 Ftoo) and will be available for purchase by 22 Proto.

This is the first time in its history that the Postal Service has issued commemorative stamps. According to a Postal Service spokesanimal, the decision was taken because it was felt that “such honours were long overdue.”

Filed Under: Economy and Business, Politics/Law/Crime

OTD in 2015—”It’s about the message,” say protesters as standoff continues at TMD offices

January 18, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Police Riot SquadAs the standoff between protesters and Mammalian Daily editors enters its third day, the reasons for this historic protest are becoming clear.

“Primarily, it’s about the message you’re sending, particularly with that photograph of Gunnar]Rotte],” says Dedrick Knaagdier, Media Relations Representative for The Park’s aid group, Rodents at Risk.

Knaagdier has been in attendance at the protest since the beginning, though he wasn’t among those who started it.

“They weren’t even Gunnar’s friends, but they saw the injustice and the way the paper was manipulating the message and they couldn’t take it anymore,” he says.

“Gunnar made a legitimate complaint but it was overshadowed by that photograph.”

The photograph in question shows Rotte holding two pies that he says he purchased at a bakery outside The Park. His complaint was that he had been assaulted at the bakery while trying to buy the pies.

“The way the photograph was taken, it makes it look as if he’s a thief,” says Knaagdier.

“He looks as if he’s smiling … as if he got away with something, rather than he did his duty [by paying] but was treated terribly. The photograph just plays into the stereotyping of Rodents … something they experience on a daily basis.”

Despite attempts by all major Park media to contact Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas, no official statement has been made, nor has the name of the photographer been revealed.

“They’ve said nothing, not even ‘We stand by our story,'” says Knaagdier.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: prejudice, stereotyping

OTD in 2012—Newt becomes Chief Archon

January 16, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

newtFor the first time in Park history, a semi-aquatic Animal was sworn in as Chief Archon of The Park’s 2012 government.

In a moving ceremony held this morning at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre, George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt took the oath of office as Chief Archon in front of a crowd of thousands.

“This is a historic day,” said Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, who presided over the event and administered the oath of office to all 35 Animals who will serve as Archons this year. “We should all be proud to be Park citizens.”

While thousands of Animals braved the bitter cold to attend the ceremony at the Theatre, an estimated 700,000 others watched the political process play out from the comfort of their own dwellings. The Park Broadcasting Corporation (PBC), which holds exclusive rights to the swearing-in ceremony, dedicated its entire morning programming schedule to the event.

“We believe strongly in the Zoocratic process and we are proud and honoured to have a part in it,” said a statement released yesterday by PBC Executives.

Among those in attendance at the event were representatives of all The Park’s Citizen Aid and Action Associations, including proxy representatives of The Park’s many hibernating communities.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Politics/Law/Crime

OTD in 2016—TMD, Avian Messenger snag outgoing Chief Archon’s only exit interview

January 14, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo (Chief Archon)The Mammalian Daily and The Avian Messenger have secured the only interview that outgoing Chief Archon Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo intends to give.

The joint interview was announced in a statement issued simultaneously by both newspapers and by Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons. It will take place tomorrow morning at ten o’clock in the Chief Archon’s office. The 2016 Archons will be sworn in on Saturday, January 16.

Chief Archon Cuckoo is expected to discuss the changes she has witnessed in The Park, the future of zoocracy, and what she believes her legacy will be. The Mammalian Daily and The Avian Messenger will each send two political reporters to the interview.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: Archons, Chief Archon, government, Park politics, zoocracy

OTD in 2015—Thane Tarsier pleads not guilty to charge of “Cease to Care” this morning

January 13, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Thane TarsierThane Tarsier appeared before Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in The Park’s Superior Court this morning to plead not guilty to the charge of “Cease to Care.”

Tarsier, who stood alongside his lawyer, Delwyn Terrier, said little in court other than to acknowledge that he understood the charge. When the Justice asked how he intended to plead, Tarsier deferred to his lawyer, who said simply, “We intend to plead not guilty.”

“Cease to Care,” a little-known offence under The Park’s Participation Act, involves the deliberate withholding of one’s name as a candidate for the position of Archon.

According to the rules of zoocracy, all adult Park citizens must confirm their eligibility to stand as candidates for Archon by the end of October. Illness constitutes the only exception to this rule; Animals who are ill and who believe they would be unable to fulfil their duties as Archon due to their illness are required to advise the Department of Political Administration (DPA) of their circumstances by submitting a Form 12.

“Because this was established at the time of zoocracy as an obligation of citizenship, we take it very seriously when Animals refuse to participate,” says DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi.

Laying charges against Park citizens is not the DPA’s first step, however.

“We don’t like to involve the Police or the courts,” Fourmi says. “We try to reason with our citizens, to appeal to their sense of duty. But when there is no response, that leaves us with little choice.”

On Friday, after the DPA confirmed that Tarsier had withheld his name wilfully, Park Police laid the charge against him.

Tarsier’s trial will begin after Groundhog Day, according to a spokesAnimal for the courts.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: court, police charges

OTD in 2017—Burrowers chase Humans out of Park for photographing hibernators

January 12, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

hibernatorsTwo Park burrowers are being hailed as heroes today, after police confirmed they ran a group of Humans out of The Park when they found them photographing Animals in hibernation.

At a hastily-arranged press conference this morning, Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) and Cornelius Kakapo, DWBS Director of Public Relations, praised Rodrigo Coelho and Lucjan Królik, whose quick thinking, Addax said, “preserved the privacy and safety of our hibernating community.”

According to Inspector Addax, the two burrowers spotted what they believed were a couple of illegal holes near their own burrows. After further investigation, they found a cache of small video and still cameras, and several sets of Human footprints. Before they had time to call Park Police, the group of Humans returned, and the two burrowers ran them out of The Park. Police are now in possession of the cameras.

The pair, who attended the press conference this morning, say they don’t feel like heroes at all.

Królik, who calls himself, “an ordinary burrower,” told reporters the actions of the Humans offended his sense of propriety.

“I wasn’t even thinking about the law when I saw them [the Humans]. I was thinking that our vulnerable citizens needed protection and I was going to make sure they got it.”

For his part, Coelho said he could only imagine what it must feel like to be violated by Humans while you’re in hibernation.

“It’s just not right. I have many friends in the hibernating community and I know their lives are difficult. They don’t need any added stress, or the fear that their every movement will be recorded while they try to survive the Winter,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: burrowers, hibernation, Human violation, Humans, photographs

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