The Mammalian Daily

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Park innovators to watch: Bulb Beacon

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Bulb Beacon 2 (1)

 


Last in a series

Just in time for the Fall planting season, SINCAP Technologies has finally released its much anticipated challenger to GVC De-Techt’s TulipTracker: Bulb Beacon.[pullquote]High tech of this sort isn’t just about invention. It’s about communication and paying attention, in every sense of the word.—Consuela Tapir, TikTekTok[/pullquote]

More than a decade in the making, according to company president Peppi Orava, this latest app promises to be everything Animals have ever wanted in a bulb detection system.

“We may not have been the first out of the gate, but we’re by far the best,” Orava said in a pre-launch interview last week. “We will be the go-to app for bulbs of every sort in a matter of weeks.”

Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site TikTekTok, agrees.

“High tech of this sort isn’t just about invention,” she says matter-of-factly. “It’s about communication and paying attention, in every sense of the word.”

Over the past decade and a half, that’s just what SINCAP has been doing: paying close attention to what Animals have been asking for. This year, they were finally able to offer it—all of it— and wrap it up in a very neat and easy-to-use package.

“We’ve known for years how to detect flower bulbs and we know how to alert Animals to danger. But before Bulb Beacon, no company had put those two things together. That’s what they’ve been working on for so long and now they can offer it to Park residents at a reasonable cost,” Tapir says.

Without giving away any details of the company’s proprietary technology, SINCAP’s Orava rhymes off the app’s unique features, all of which are very impressive. But one of them stands out for her.

“Yes, Bulb Beacon will find every bulb in the area within a few minutes. But our unique silent alarm system will also keep you safe,” she says proudly.

That safety feature is what makes Bulb Beacon shine above all the other bulb detection apps, says TikTekTok’s Tapir.

“If your app does only one thing…such as finding flowers, that’s good. But these days, that’s not good enough. Safety has become a major issue in every part of our lives but perhaps nowhere is it more important to us than when we are out on food-finding missions. SINCAP has found itself in the right place at the right time with this one,” she says.

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

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PollinatePark Finance Office head Valentina Abeja took some time off today from talking about her 2017 budget to discuss what she calls her ultimate passion: pollination.

In an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio’s Sunday morning show, Abeja, who presented her second budget on August 17, strongly encouraged her compatriots to “get out and pollinate for the good of The Park and its residents.”

“I implore all who are able to get out and do your job and pollinate, for the sake of our survival,” she said.

Abeja also took the opportunity to unveil an initiative that she and A.P. Civet, president of the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), collaborated on. Called “Pollinators’ Progress,” the initiative helps pollinators keep track of their efforts and rewards them through a points system.

“It’s simple,” Abeja said. “The more points you receive, the more rewards come your way.”

Although Abeja did not elaborate on the nature of the “rewards,” the PFO head was quick to quash any notions that this was a system of payment for pollinators.

“We are not in the business of paying Park citizens to pollinate. Not at all. What we are doing is trying to encourage those who can to get out and do their part for The Park,” she said.

UWT to investigate allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans

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UWT COATBREAKING NEWS

The University of West Terrier announced today that it has initiated an investigation into allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans.

The announcement came in a statement signed by the President and Governors of the University and posted on the university’s web site.

According to the statement, the allegations under investigation stem from research conducted by the Department of Human Studies. No researchers or areas of research are named and the statement emphasizes the broad nature of the investigation:

The university wishes to emphasize that this is an investigation into alleged misconduct and that no particular member of our faculty or student body is under investigation at this juncture.

The investigating team consists of several UWT faculty members who serve the university independently of the Department of Human Studies. These include Dr. Chloris Cougar, Dr. Fionnula L. Fox, Dr. Hume T. Goat, Dr. Luule Aednik, and Dr. Simone Gibbon. Other team members are Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit, and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. Dr. Milada J. page4image31040Goose, head of the Honking Hollow laboratory at the University of West Terrier and a senior member of the Committee to Oversee Scientific Research in The Park (COSRIP) will oversee the team and the investigation.

Although no time frame for a final report by the investigating team was mentioned in the statement, a spokesAnimal for the university told The Mammalian Daily that the administration is committed to conducting the investigation in a fair and timely manner.

Park innovators to watch: abSCENT

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abSCENTFourth in a series

Can abSCENT make the heart grow fonder?

Perhaps not, but it definitely can help it stay stronger and more faithful, according to its maker, DoftTek, S.A.

A relative newcomer, DoftTek specializes in scent-related products and was voted The Park’s most promising company last year by The Cosmopolitan Pest. The abSCENT app is the company’s first foray into wearable technology.

The innovative app, which DoftTek launched on Monday, works like a “virtual locket,” allowing users to store the scents of their loved ones so that they can access them at any time.

“Physical absence need never be a barrier to relating,” said DoftTek spokesAnimal Lars Myskoxe, who demonstrated the app outside the Reek ‘O Rama yesterday.

The crowd oohed and awed as Myskoxe showed the potential users how easy the app makes it to retain a “dynamic memory” of their loved ones.

“It’s authentic,” said Keeva Moffatt, President of the Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol and a Reek ‘O Rama regular.

“It does what it says. The scent is pure and, from what I could tell, it doesn’t degrade. This is something every Park Animal will want,” she said.

Myskoxe claims the uses for the app are “unlimited,” and will grow in number as more and more Animals “make it their own.”

“In its present form, it can store up to ten scents. We are planning to expand that within the next five years,” he said. “I can see it eventually becoming a necessary tool for all stages of life,” he said.

The app is currently available only through the company and at the Reek ‘O Rama, which intends to offer it at a discount on May 5 only, the date of the annual Mating Dance.

“That will be its biggest test so far,” said Myskoxe.

See also:
TulipTracker™
FoodFinder™
gaggle

Park innovators to watch: TulipTracker

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TulipTrackerThird in a series

Goodbye, Tulip Map.
Hello, Tulip App!

Brought to you by GVC De-Techt, The Park’s youngest tech company, this new app promises to deliver all the information Animals will need to source those juicy, fresh Tulip bulbs every Spring and Fall.

“We’re able to give you a heads-up because we keep our nose to the ground,” said the company’s proud president and CEO, R.A. Vole, at the app’s launch earlier this month.

Vole emphasized the extensive research that was required to produce the app, which will be available for download later this Spring.

“Our company prides itself on research, as well as innovation,” said the Park native who worked for another detection company before launching his own brand.

“TulipTracker has been in the works for almost a decade and our extensive testing over the last few years shows that it will shave at least a week off most Animals’ Tulip-sourcing time. It will be a great asset to small Animals, particularly to small hibernators,”

While GVC De-Techt asserts that its products are aimed at the general Animal population, Consuela Tapir says she’s fairly certain the target market for TulipTracker is “those small hibernators Vole referenced at the launch.”

While Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok, has no problem with that idea, she thinks the company should be upfront about it.

“After all,” she says, “we only need to look at this new app’s advertising slogan to see what its target market is.”

And just what is that slogan?

“We peep while you sleep,” say the latest print ads.

See also:
FoodFinder™
Five Park innovators to watch

Park innovators to watch: FoodFinder™

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Second in a series

From the companies that brought you gewper, the social networking site that allows users to smell “those they know and those they might wish to know” and the popular scent-masking product FeralNoMore™, comes this new app that is sure to appeal to every species of Park Animal.

FoodFinder™, described at its launch last month by RhinoTech CEO Aldrich Nashorn as “the ultimate service tool for Animals,” claims to be able to find “any edible imaginable anywhere, anytime, at any place above ground or below in the natural or unnatural world.”

The secret ingredient in FoodFinder™ is a dash of what Nashorn calls “intuitive olfaction.” The exact algorithm is a secret, of course, but Nashorn admits there is a GPS component involved. But even more important is the ingredient that Enterprises Moufettes, the inventor of FeralNoMore™ has added.

“Under the direction of our Chief Olfactory Officer, Agnetha Muldvarp, our company created a database of odours that includes almost every possible item in the world,” says the company’s president, Aabu Koiperhonen.

“We are certain that we’ve included everything Park Animals need to sustain themselves.”

The app, which will be available for download in early April, is sure to be a success, says Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok.

“I can’t see how it could miss, especially in Winter, when food is scarce and many of us suffer from Frozen Nose Syndrome (FNS),” she says.

“I expect to hear by this time next year that both companies’ earnings have quadrupled.”

See also:
Five Park innovators to watch

Five Park innovators to watch

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Gaggle logoFirst in a series

A recent technology conference held in The Park highlighted the enormous amount of talent that exists in this tiny space we call home.

“It’s amazing what’s developed here over the last decade,” says Fikret Kartal, President and CEO of KartalTechSolutions. Kartal’s company brought the Verifyzer™— a device that helps Animals distinguish between news and entertainment—to The Park three years ago.

“When we started, we had no real competition,” Kartal says. “Now, there are times when we feel like we’re just hovering.”

Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok, understands the feeling.

“It’s an industry that’s just exploded over the last few years. I remember when these ideas had trouble getting off the ground. But these days, it doesn’t take long for them to soar,” she says.

So, just who are these new technological wonderAnimals and what great feats can we expect from them?

Tapir gave us a list of five to watch. Today, we highlight the first:[pullquote]I felt like a rare Bird at times. — gaggle founder Kawena Palila[/pullquote]

1. gaggle
The tech genius at the core of this new social media site is Kawena Palila, an alumna of BirdBrains, The Park’s first Avian mentoring programme, which was founded by the late Cesar Emilio Gander.

Palila calls gaggle the “social networking site with a difference.”

“All the other social sites focus on the individual and try to get you to connect with other individuals. Gaggle is for groups—families, charities, even educational institutions. We want to serve the collective community in whatever form,” she says.

The minimum number of members a group must have to join gaggle is five because, Palila says, “I don’t like even numbers. They’re so restrictive and they make Animals feel left out.”

gaggle itself took five years to launch, partly because it was difficult to get outside funding.

“I felt like a rare Bird at times,” she says. “It seems unbelievable now, but I had a hard time getting Animals to understand the concept.”

Up next:

2. FoodFinder

Social media site gewper in talks to produce scented movie: rumour

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GewperThe Park’s social media darling gewper (pronounced “Gooper”) is said to be in talks with producer Egbert Bunzing to bring a scented film to the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) next year.

The social media site, which is owned by RhinoTech, Inc. has enjoyed enormous success since it ventured into scent two years ago. The company’s partnership with Enterprises Moufettes, S.A., makers of the popular scent-masking product, FeralNoMore™, proved to be a game-changer, according to Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok.

“They opened up a whole new world with the ability to smell [those with whom they were interacting] and it has yet to be matched by any other company,” she says.

RhinoTech’s earnings skyrocketed a year after they introduced scent to the site and the company was believed to be working on a project that would allow members to touch each other across cyberspace. Tapir says that idea has been put on hold temporarily and they are now looking to break into what she calls “pure entertainment.”

For his part, those who know Bunzing say that he’s been looking for an “edgy” new idea and that this “is right up his alley.” Calls to his publicist, however, have not been returned and repeated requests for RhinoTech Chief Executive Officer Aldrich Nashorn to comment on this story have gone unanswered.

cackle and peck: a virtual hug around the neck

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GooseBook confirmed today that it will roll out its two new social networking sites at the end of the month.

At a press conference held this morning, GooseBook’s President and C.E.O., Lester C. Gander, announced that both cackle™ and peck™ will go live “by the end of the month.”

“Our goal is to go live on August 31, but we may be able to accomplish that ahead of time,” he said.

Before introducing the company’s two new products, Gander spoke critically of “rumour mongers who trade in erroneous information and try to bring down companies by raising consumer expectations so high they cannot possibly be met.”

See also: GooseBook opens to all species

Apropos of this, he was pleased to announce that GooseBook’s two new sister sites will “differ significantly from the earlier and erroneous reports, including those that said one [of the new sites] would be an internet search engine.”

More importantly, though, the new sites will differ significantly from the parent site, in that cackle™ will offer users a place to share “only happy and comedic events…things that you would laugh at or enjoy” and peck™ will provide a way for users to send others a “peck on the cheek or a hug around the neck.”

What will distinguish the sites even further, Gander said, is the use of language particular to the two sites. On cackle™, for instance, users will share posts, but they will also be able to “heap” their findings on their friends. Truly appreciated posts will be marked “Duperous” by senders and recipients alike. On peck™, users may make quick contact with those they treasure simply by posting “most”.

“Before we know it, these terms will become part of our daily lives,” Gander predicted before calling an end to the press conference.

Gewper finds scents make good financial sense

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Executives at RhinoTech, Inc. had a hunch they were onto something four years ago, when they partnered with Enterprises Moufettes, S.A., makers of the popular scent-masking product, FeralNoMore™, to create gewper, a social networking site with a difference.

That difference—the opportunity for users to “smell those they know and those they might wish to know”—has made all the difference in RhinoTech’s bottom line.

Now just a year old, the site dubbed “the ultimate Animal experience in the virtual world” accounts for more than half of its developer’s real income.

“Earnings are up 175% over this time last year,” said a RhinoTech spokesAnimal at a tech conference held in The Park last week. “And we’re putting them to good use.”

That “good use” may well turn out to be the project the company says every Animal has been waiting for. In an interview last year, RhinoTech Chief Executive Officer Aldrich Nashorn confirmed that his company, which uses all its profits for research, was working on a site that would allow members to touch each other across cyberspace.

“We’re working on it, that’s all I can tell you,” Nashorn said.

The company has kept mum about the project ever since, but those in the know say they expect an announcement to be made within a year’s time.

“With all the money that gewper is making, they’ve got enough to hire the best and the brightest,” says Consuela Tapir, who runs the tech rumour web site, TikTekTok. “And that’s what it’s going to take to get this one off the ground,” she says.

See also: New social networking site to offer scent option

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