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Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic: an exercise in restraint…and haiku

March 24, 2013 By TMD Reporters

Poems in the air
Tulips rise up from the ground
Spring is here at last!

With tensions running high in The Park this Spring, organizers of annual Park functions could be forgiven for dreading the very events that all of us have come to cherish.

And that’s exactly how it was for Seymour K. Worthington Polar Bear, whose first term as chief organizer of the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic (the position requires a three-year commitment) began on February 14.

“I was thrilled when I received the offer to become the Picnic’s chief organizer,” said Worthington, at a party held in his honour after the event. “But after the [Return of the] Nut business, I have to admit that that feeling was overtaken by dread.”

The 2012 winner of the first prize in The Park’s annual Toe-Hair Contest says he was “spooked” by the protests at that ceremonial event and by the chaos that ensued.

“Violence, arrests, a lack of respect for the occasion itself…I started wondering if we should postpone the Picnic or even skip it this year,” he says.

Though he never faltered in his commitment to the event, Worthington says he spent many sleepless nights wondering whether Park citizens were moving away from the very traditions that had made The Park viable in the first place.

After all, according to a survey conducted in early March by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, Park residents are thinking twice about attending this year’s celebrations.

“The desire is there, there’s no doubt about that,” says Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department. “Park Animals love to celebrate. We love our seasonal festivals. And celebration has become a large part of our identity. But there’s also no doubt that recent eruptions at public events have taken their toll. These [festivals] are meant to be enjoyable but Animals are beginning to wonder whether they’re risking their safety by attending. That’s a situation we have to deal with head-on or we’ll soon find that we have nothing to celebrate,” she says.

As Picnic time drew closer, Worthington says he felt a responsibility to “to resurrect our celebratory spirit by redirecting our collective energy.” He decided to focus the Picnic on “happy, haiku poems.” No epics, no ballads, no elegies. Just “the shortest about the best,” he says.

“I wanted it to be upbeat. The Picnic has always been upbeat, though there has always been a mix of poetic styles. But this year, I decided to take control of it before it took control of me.”

Despite some staffers’ warnings that restrictions might keep Animals away, Worthington stood his ground. And triumphed in the end.

“I knew that if no one showed up, my first term would be my last,” he says. But in the end, Park Animals proved their commitment to The Park and to each other.

“The success of this year’s Picnic is the most beautiful poem of all,” Worthington says.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Park Museum puts out call for personal items, memorabilia

March 11, 2013 By TMD Reporters

The Park Museum has put out a call for historical items that Animals might have inherited from their families

The Park Museum, set to open later this year (barring any unforeseen delays), has put out a call for “personal items of historical interest” that Animals may be in possession of, including items they have purchased for their collections or have inherited from their families.

Sukuta Rhinoceros, one of the founders of The Park Museum and a member of its Board of Governors, made the appeal this week in a number of interviews on radio stations as well as in advertisements in most of The Park’s newspapers.

“What we are looking for are items that date back not just to the founding of zoocracy, but before that. Many Park Animals and their families were living here well before the establishment of Animal self-rule and, undoubtedly, they have items, including photographs, artists’ renderings, and printed materials, that would be of interest to the Museum,” he said.

Other artefacts, including tools and works of art, may also be of interest to the Museum.

The items will be included in an exhibit on Park life and will serve as the major part of the Museum’s collection. Donors who wish to contribute their artefacts to the exhibit maintain ownership of the items, but will be required to surrender them to the Museum on a permanent loan basis, Rhinoceros said.

Those who wish to pursue the matter further or who wish to have their items evaluated by the Museum’s curator may book an appointment at: curator@parkmuseum.info.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Archons lambasted over commissioning “official” Park song

March 9, 2013 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

The 2013 Archons have come under fire for commissioning an “official” Park song to be played or sung at official functions

The 2013 Archons are feeling the heat from Park citizens just days after announcing that they commissioned the composition of an “official” Park song.

Their intention was to have a song created “that would evoke feelings of pride and loyalty in Park Animals…something stirring that would excite all of us and make us feel appreciative of living in The Park.” That was the explanation given by the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta when he met with media representatives on March 5 to announce the commission. The song will be played or sung at all official Park functions, he said, as well as at artistic and sporting events.

While the Archons may have believed the song would please Park Animals, the opposite appears to be the case. In a sendup of the announcement, the popular Park newspaper, The Equine Echo, ran a headline yesterday mocking the idea. Presenting it as if it were an advertisement in the “personals” category of their classified section, Echo editors wrote this headline: “2013 Archons seek song singing Park’s praises for use at celebrations.”

On a more serious note, a number of academics as well as Park political commentators have weighed in since the announcement of the song, and all are of the same opinion: it’s a bad idea and it should be scrapped.

In a radio interview yesterday, beloved Mammalian Daily advice columnist and University of West Terrier faculty member Noreen expressed what many others have been thinking: “There is something almost Human about this business of celebrating ourselves and our accomplishments,” she said. “I think we’ve imbibed this sort of Rah Rah attitude from the Humans around us. And I don’t think it’s a good idea at all.”

Beatrice Zilonis, distinguished  UWT professor of history, echoed Noreen’s sentiments.

“Historically, we haven’t dealt with things in this way. Park Animals are not boastful and I find it rather disconcerting to see the Archons attempting to manufacture pride, especially if their intent is to use that pride as way of keeping The Park together. It strikes me as quite a desperate move on their part,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

“The Strange Case of the Topaz Toepad” to begin filming this Spring

February 15, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

The Strange Case of the Topaz Toepad, the best-selling mystery novel by Kylie Springbok, will begin its journey to the big screen this Spring.

Annika Maasusi, Editor-in-Chief of Hyena Whodunits, the book’s publisher, confirmed the sale of the film rights in a press release late this afternoon.

“Hyena Whodunits is pleased to announce that Mandrill Entertainment has purchased the rights to the highly successful novel, The Strange Case of the Topaz Toepad,” the release said.

Mandrill Entertainment, best known for producing fast-paced action and adventure films, released a statement simultaneously, confirming both the purchase and its plan to begin filming in The Park in the late Spring.

“We are pleased to inform Park Animals that the film’s casting and shooting will all be done within The Park,” the release also said. No other information regarding the cast was revealed.

The book, which was originally published in 2007, will be re-released in March to coincide with the making of the film, Maasusi confirmed.

Filed Under: Breaking News, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

UWT expansion to include art gallery

January 31, 2013 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

UWT Coat of Arms

The University of West Terrier plans to open an art gallery as part of the University’s expansion programme

The University of West Terrier has announced plans to open an art gallery on its campus.

At a press conference held during the annual UWT open house on January 29, Bibiano Montanaro, spokesAnimal for the President of the University, confirmed that several architectural firms have submitted plans for a two-storey facility that will house paintings, sculpture, and textiles by Park artists. The gallery will form a significant part of the institution’s expansion over the next five years.

“The University of West Terrier wishes to broaden its commitment to The Park’s artistic and cultural community and we feel that this is an important first step toward that goal,” Montanaro said.

The University will be seeking a curator and other staff members for the gallery as soon as building commences, Montanaro said, but he refused to confirm rumours that the curator has already been selected from the faculty of The Park’s Hani Gajah School of Art.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Museum’s “Archonic Visions” breaks all attendance records

December 12, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

The Park Museum’s “Archonic Visions” travelling exhibition set an all-time record for attendance

“Archonic Visions”, The Park Museum’s 2012 travelling exhibition, has set an all-time record for attendance, according to statistics compiled by The Park’s Department of Culture and Heritage.

“We just smashed the records,” said Sukuta Rhinoceros in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio. Rhinoceros is a member of The Park Museum’s Board of Governors and one of its founders.

“And that’s for any exhibition, cultural or artistic, since the founding of zoocracy. This bodes well for the museum and for the future of The Park, itself,” he said.

Park Historical Society President Clark Cascanueces echoed that sentiment.

“We were thrilled to see those numbers. We view this as a re-awakening of interest in Park history,” he said.

The exhibition, which was sponsored by the Marine Mammal Bank of The Park, highlighted the ideas and accomplishments of the Archons who served in the government from the first year of zoocracy until the end of 2010. The exhibition closed November 30.

Filed Under: Breaking News, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Band’s new song, “Put a Leash on It” sparks controversy

November 16, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Is this the life Les Chiens Débraillés believe Park Canines covet?

The Park’s Canine community is threatening to boycott all music by the controversial band, Les Chiens Débraillés, after the release yesterday of its new song, “Put a Leash on It.”

In an open letter to the band and its management and to the Canine Music Association (CMA), DoGGeD, a newly-formed group of “concerned Park Canines” wrote of their “dismay and feelings of dejection” when they heard the song.

“We are writing to let you know that we find the song’s message offensive and condescending. In releasing this song, Les Chiens Débraillés has alienated its fellow Canines and, in so doing, shown its lack of taste in both music and intraspecial relations,” the letter read.

In response, Philippe Chiendeur, the band’s manager, released a one-line statement saying that the band does not comment on “the meaning or message of any of its musical material”.

Canine Music Association President R.F. Aarrf also released a short statement. In it, he said the CMA does not deal directly with complaints from “disgruntled individuals or groups.” The last controversy the CMA was involved in was the dispute between the Association of Park Radio Stations and the popular Park band The Cynics, after the APRS pulled a Cynics song from the airwaves.

Earlier today, however, The Marsupial Messenger’s acclaimed music reviewer Pierre Sucre came to the defense of the band. In a short column, he wrote that DoGGeD “has it all wrong.”

“Leaving aside the stereotype that Canines have no sense of humour, this group [DoGGeD] has completely missed the point of the Chiens Débraillés song. To the rest of us, the song is a lament. It’s about the economy, stupides, and the effects the downturn has had on our sense of independence. In my opinion, the song isn’t even about Canines. It’s about trying to survive in a world in which we do not have complete control over our lives,” Sucre wrote.

________________________________________________________________________________

See also:

Association pulls Cynics’ song from airwaves

________________________________________________________________________________

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Douglas Cheetah film to be re-released in time for Halloween

October 30, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Bitter Litter Pictures announced today that it has re-released Douglas Cheetah’s controversial 2007 film, Black Cats Can’t Jump, in time for the Halloween season.

In a press release, the company confirmed rumours that the director’s cut version of the film will screen at the Park Cinema for two weeks only, beginning October 30.

“We are pleased to offer our sophisticated Park audience the director’s cut of Douglas Cheetah’s groundbreaking work,” the release stated.

Through a spokesAnimal, Cheetah expressed delight that more Animals will be able to see the film.

“Five years is a long time. Many more Animals have been born and come of age in that time and I am delighted that they will be able to see this film,” he said.

Cheetah is currently out of The Park, at work on a documentary that he hopes to release at the 2013 Park Interspecial Film Festival.

Filed Under: Breaking News, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

Hundreds jailed after Noon Nuttiness protest turns violent

October 4, 2012 By TMD Reporters

Hundreds of Animals were jailed after protesters stormed a PIFF Noon Nuttiness screening yesterday at the Park Cinema

Hundreds of Animals were jailed this afternoon, after a group of angry protesters interrupted the Noon Nuttiness screening at the Park Cinema and demanded that audience members hand over their cackle™–enabled devices.

The protesters, who belong to a group that calls itself Realidad Incorporated, stormed the Cinema during the opening credits of the comedy Kribbles. In between making cackling sounds and insulting the cinema’s patrons, they grabbed the cackle™–enabled devices within their reach and threw them to the ground. They then demanded that all patrons relinquish their devices.

“At first I thought it was a stunt…part of the comedy experience,” said one witness, who appeared to be in shock. “Even when they were breaking them [the devices]…I thought it was [representatives of] GooseBook. Until they started fighting and I saw Animals down on the ground. That’s when I knew it wasn’t planned and I started to get scared.”

Many patrons, who had been lent the devices by GooseBook to use during the film, refused to surrender them. It was at this point, Park Police say, that the scuffle turned violent.

“The RI members were yelling at the audience, but the audience wouldn’t give up their devices,” said a Park Police Officer called to the scene. “They didn’t even belong to them. It was kind of strange. It was like they were willing to die for them,” he said.

The RI members then became aggressive and began to physically attack the patrons in an effort to force them to release their devices. This resulted in a counterattack by the patrons, according to a police report filed this afternoon. In all, almost three hundred Animals were hauled off to The Park jail. Eleven others, who were sent to The Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, will face charges as soon as they are discharged, Police said.

According to a statement released by Realidad Incorporated (also known as Reality Incorporated), the members of their group were acting in protest against cackle, the new “happy only” social networking site rolled out in August by GooseBook.

“At such a difficult time in the life of The Park, we find it unbelievably offensive that a company would invent a site that, in effect, denied the reality of Park Animals in favor of a sugar-coated view,” the statement read in part.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

PIFF 2012: Festival frenzy grips Park

September 30, 2012 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

The Park is in a party mood, as anticipation mounts on the eve of the opening of the 8th annual Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).

“It’s game on! We’re ready!” announced PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot at the final pre-opening press conference this afternoon. “This is going to be the biggest and best film festival The Park has ever seen,” she said.

Festival goers appear to agree. Tickets were snapped up earlier than in previous years, with new events such as Noon Nuttiness and PIFF Pockets attracting a younger crowd.

“It [PIFF] is no longer an adults-only event,” said Ocelot, who confirmed that twenty-five percent of tickets were sold to those under five years of age.

“They bought up Noon Nuttiness and also went for the PIFF Pocket Films. We didn’t expect that at all,” she said.

Meanwhile, adult film fans were busy primping and preening in anticipation of five days of screenings, celebrity sightings and top-secret social events.

“We haven’t had an opening in days,” said Amoltrud’s Aesthetics’ groomer Elspeth Rinder. “We have a waiting list the size of a Python,” she said.

The Park’s other grooming houses reported the same situation.

“We had to lock our doors and pretend we were closed,” said stylist Tano Pagun of The Pluming Room. “We were afraid that, otherwise, we’d see fur and feathers fly.”

The festival will open tomorrow night with “I Love a Man in a Collar”, the much-anticipated documentary about Thisbe and the Barkettes. All eyes will be on the front row, as film goers attempt to catch a glimpse of The Park’s most famous singing group, who have confirmed they will attend the documentary’s debut. The five members have not been seen together for a number of years.

Other highly anticipated events include the opening night gala at Clowder and the Cackle-ary hosted by GooseBook.

The Mammalian Daily plans to publish full details of events in the coming days.

Filed Under: Breaking News, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

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