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Winter Solstice 2017: A warm welcome to Winter and a celebration of life in The Park

December 21, 2017 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

The biggest bash of the year is about to begin.

The 2017 Celebration of the Winter Solstice kicks off at sunrise—7:48 to be exact—and will continue on, officially, until 3:00 in the morning on December 22.

“This will be a special celebration…one of a kind and definitely one to remember,” director of public relations Aintza Kanariar said yesterday, as she announced the official schedule as per the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

This year’s festival will have two themes: the celebration of the Winter Solstice and the celebration of Animal self-rule.

“We deliberated on it a long time but we decided that celebrating Animal self-rule was worth breaking rules for,” Kanariar said, referring to longstanding regulations that prohibit anything political to be a part of the annual celebration.

In fact, Kanariar confirmed, the programme for the event will even include the reading of passages from “George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King,” Yoshita Tigru’s bestselling biography of The Park’s first leader.

A highlight of this year’s event will be a performance piece called, “Ελευθερία (Eleftheria).” The piece is a collaborative effort of the Herman Stoat Dance Company and the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company. A celebration of Zoocracy35, the 20-minute performance combines music, dance, pantomime, gymnastics, poetry, and rap.

Also on the schedule is the screening of a special video by renowned actress Millicent Hayberry, who is currently in hibernation. She left the video, in which she reportedly waxes lyrical about zoocracy and Park life, with the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations before going into hibernation.

Other highlights of the celebration include:

  • Jugglers, clowns, and three Human imitators will provide entertainment throughout the celebration
  • Students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be providing free tail-painting and whisker-twisting for young participants
  • Costume dress-up events will be hosted hourly by the Park Historical Society
  • Storytelling
  • Harmonious Hannah and Humphrey will be on hand for selfies throughout the festivities

The list of Park music makers who will perform appears below in order of appearance. Kanariar would not confirm rumours that Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Rotte will join the All Rodent Marching Band in a celebration of the involvement of The Park’s Rodent community in zoocracy.

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
Persistent Sisters
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
BHR (Big Hearts Rule) formerly NIML (Not In My Lifetime)
Fish Rap

As ever, a major component of the celebration will be the food. This year, celebrity chef Tab Tricolore will be preparing “food of the feral world” on site at a “feral buffet,” as well as supplying non-perishables from his newly-opened restaurant grassRoutes.  Other food purveyors include The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will be once again be serving a full breakfast just after the solstice occurs. Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at 7:48 a.m. (sunrise) on December 21. Food will be served throughout the event. The Solstice will occur at 11:48 a.m. Local Park Time (LPT).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, sortition, winter solstice

Wednesday Rewind: On the comeback trail, Thisbe takes a moment to say “thank you” to her fans

December 20, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Thisbe Laulaa cover

“I didn’t realize how important my fans were to me.”

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 18 December 2014

TMD EXCLUSIVE: Excerpt from Laulaa® Magazine
Although Thisbe needs no introduction in The Park, she says that this time around, she’s determined “to let my fans in as much as possible so they know who I really am.

As the founder and lead singer of The Park’s most popular group prepares for a comeback tour, she appears more settled and thoughtful than before.

“I didn’t realize how important my fans were to me,” she says in an exclusive interview in Laulaa® Magazine, due out on December 25.

“And I think they deserve a little more than I’ve given them … not in my singing so much, but in my time and thought.”

The singer has had a lot of time for thought the last few years. Since cancelling the group’s farewell tour in 2007, Thisbe has suffered from a variety of illnesses, the worst of which she says was melancholia.

“When I had to stop performing, I thought I would enjoy it. There were so many things I’d never done … so many of my senses I’d never used. But it didn’t turn out to be that way at all. First, I lost one of my littermates. And even though we weren’t exactly close, that loss hit home. It made me focus on what I really wanted and what I wanted to do. I could see that time was of the essence. But it took me a while before I could use that realization to any advantage. And in the meantime, I kept myself isolated, which was the exact opposite of what I had planned,” she says.

The star credits her fans, who never forgot her, with re-awakening her interest in living.

“I never lost my bark but for a while, I lost my bite,” she laughs.

The full interview with Thisbe will appear in Laulaa® Magazine, The Official Magazine of the Canine Music Association, on December 25, 2014. 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: Doves of Peace appear at Celebration of Winter Solstice

December 13, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park’s Doves of Peace appeared at this year’s Celebration of the Winter Solstice

Wednesday Rewind:
Original Publication Date: 23 December 2012

Setting aside their dispute with Park administration for a day, The Park’s Doves of Peace appeared at the Celebration of the Winter Solstice on December 21.

“It was a very generous thing to do, considering the intensity of their feelings on the matter,” said Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for The Park’s Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

Kanariar also confirmed that, after consulting with the Department of Well-Being and Safety as well as with Park Police, her Department decided to keep Police presence at the event “minimal and discreet.”

“Perhaps that was one of the reasons they were willing to attend,” she said.

The Doves, who are a fully autonomous sub-group of Park Police, usually attend all Park celebrations and days of significance. On November 15, however, they initiated a strike to protest against and to shed light on what they called The Park Police’s “heavy-handed tactics” at recent events. As a result of the strike, Winter Solstice celebrants expected the Doves to stay away from this year’s event.

“Their appearance was “one of the greatest surprises of the day,” said Dewi Beruang, who has attended every Park festival this year.

“They said there were going to be surprises, but I don’t think they had the Doves in mind. Seeing them made the celebration even more special,” she said.

For their part, the Doves were “delighted” to make a non-official appearance, according to their SpokesBird, Georgina Golub.

“We have attended every Celebration of the Winter Solstice since the establishment of zoocracy,” Golub said. “We didn’t want to miss it this year, even though we weren’t, officially, working. So, we held a vote and the decision was made to attend as guests. It’s a very important celebration and we wanted to be there, no matter what,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: Park’s retail, construction sectors expected to post strong gains after extended pre-hibernation period

December 6, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The Park’s retail sector has reported strong gains due to this season’s extended pre-hibernation period

Wednesday Rewind:
Original Publication Date:  11 December 2013

The Park’s retail and construction services sectors are set to show strong gains in the fourth quarter, according to Xavier Dingo, chief financial analyst at A. Corn and Partners.

“It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good,” he says. “And for these sectors, the extension of the pre-hibernation period was truly a gift.”

That extension, which was itself a result of the POPS election debacle, enabled Animals who otherwise would have been in a state of torpor to continue to spend on their hibernation preparations.

“There was a flurry of activity, at just about the time that we would have been putting away our hibernation gear,” says GoUnderground’s director of sales Nafari Bongo.

The Park’s largest hibernation outfitter is not alone. Throughout the retail sector, sales were unusually high.

“Our members were kept busy, that’s for sure,” says a spokesAnimal for the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS). She was speaking on behalf of founder and current president Wellington Whistlepig, who went into hibernation on December 1.

The construction services sector also saw unusual gains for the season, says Dingo.

“Many Animals took the opportunity to renovate their hibernating quarters and some even built brand new ones,” he says.

Kerman Astoa, vice-president of sales for Burrows and Beyond confirms this. His construction company is The Park’s only business that specializes in hibernation facilities.

“Quite frankly, we were overwhelmed by last-minute orders,” he admits. “There was a day when we thought we might not be able to fulfil all the new orders. But we did.”

Businesses that serve Animals at pre-hibernation time were not the only ones to see gains, though. Provisions by Petrounel, the prestigious Park grocer and caterer that provides post-hibernation sustenance to many, saw its orders triple at the end of November.

“I think many Animals anticipated needing a little something extra…a little pick-me-up to get them going after hibernation, since they won’t be under for as long this year,” says the shop’s owner Beatrice T. Orang.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: Chef Tab Tricolore to collaborate with artists on PMoCA 2015 installation

November 29, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Tab Tricolore: "You have to offer an extraordinary culinary experience or else Animals will not dine at your restaurant."

Chef Tab Tricolore to collaborate on PMoCA art installation

Wednesday Rewind:
Original Publication Date: 26 November 2014

Celebrity Chef and award-winning author Tab Tricolore will collaborate with a group of artists on the Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s 2015 installation.

Aulikki Norsu, president of PMoCA’s board of directors, confirmed the collaboration between the museum and the controversial chef in a statement released this morning.

“We are pleased to announce that renowned Park Chef Tab Tricolore will serve as creative director of our 2015 art installation. The chef will work closely with our in-house staff as well as with Park artists that he will select personally to craft what we anticipate will be a thought-provoking piece,” the statement reads.

The subject of the installation remains a “closely-guarded secret,” the statement said, but those close to Tricolore say it is safe to assume that it will be food-related.

“As you know, Tab is obsessed with food. He can barely be distracted; his mind is always going, he’s always working and reworking recipes, sourcing new ingredients, looking to other species for inspiration. He’s an artist, himself, and I can’t imagine that if he got involved in a ‘real’ art project, that it wouldn’t at least include food, if not be totally about food,” said his former saucier, Barry “Béarnaise” Burmilla.

Although a date has not been announced for the opening, the museum statement said it expected the installation to be ready by the Spring.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: Police close in on abductors of Marmot wrestling team

November 22, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Marmot Wrestling Team logo


The logo above is that of the Marmot wrestling team. Park Police say they are closer to discovering whereabouts of the team, which went missing during the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 24 November 2013

Park Police say they are closing in on the abductors of the Marmot wrestling team, which went missing during the 2013 Interspecial Summer Games.

No member of the team has been seen since September 26. Police were called to investigate when the team failed to show up on September 27 for the wrestling competition, which they were favoured to win. At that time, Police reported they had found evidence of a struggle and possible abduction. They later confirmed they had elevated the investigation to that of an abduction after a review of the evidence. That evidence included a trail of hair that led outside The Park and a small pile of shavings that they believe came from a wooden box.

In a short statement released this morning, Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit (IIU) said her officers believe they have located the hiding place outside The Park that was chosen by the team’s abductors.

The IIU, which is an independent division of the Police force’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU), joined the investigation in mid-October, when the SHCU determined definitively that the abduction was an interspecial crime. The IIU’s mandate is to investigate “all occurrences in which the suggestion of specist intent is present.”

No motive for the crime has been determined as yet, a spokesAnimal for SHCU Chief Inspector Maurice Addax told The Mammalian Daily.

“Our concern at the moment is for the team,” the spokesAnimal said. “We will be able to determine more about the motive after we have the abductors in custody and the team members are safe and back in their homes.”

Concern for the well-being of the team grows every day, the spokesAnimal said, since they should already have gone into hibernation.

“Every day that they are away and, presumably, conscious, the risk to them grows greater. That is why we are hoping for a positive outcome very soon,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: “Hibernation Nation” enjoys its half-day in the sun

November 15, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Giuliana Lontra

Giuliana Imelda Lontra clutches the symbolic nut that was surrendered to her for safekeeping by Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) during this morning’s Surrender of the Nut ceremony. Lontra was elected Keeper of the Nut on November 11.

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 14 November 2013

The sun shone brightly this morning as Malinda L. Hamster, president of The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), surrendered the symbolic nut to 2014 Keeper of the Nut, Giuliana Imelda Lontra.[pullquote]“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition of the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival and the Keeper of the Nut is a symbol of that. It has always been a very powerful moment for us.” Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History, University of West Terrier[/pullquote]”On this solemn occasion, I entrust this nut to you and entreat you to guard it and to keep it safe until such time as the hibernating community requests its return,” the Hamster said as she offered the nut to Lontra.

Lontra clutched the nut, and spoke the traditional oath of the Keeper of the Nut:

“I swear to keep this nut from harm and to preserve it intact until such time as the hibernating community requests its return. And I do so with respect for all Park citizens.”

With that, the solemn portion of the day was done, and the crowd began to enjoy its half-day holiday.

While attendees partook of the vast array of goodies supplied by The Compost Heap, Provisions by Petrounel, Ants in Your Pantry and Florette’s Fine Edibles, talk turned to memories of past Surrenders and to the evolution of the occasion.

“Historically, the Surrender of the Nut was a solemn occasion. It was a recognition of the trust that Animals place in each other for their very survival and the Keeper of the Nut is a symbol of that. It has always been a very powerful moment for us,” said Beatrice Zilonis, Professor of History at the University of West Terrier.

Park Historical Society president Clark Cascanueces agreed.

“The Return of the Nut is also very powerful… the idea that it is returned unharmed and intact, no matter what the Winter was like, that no harm has come to it, even if there was a shortage of food, it wasn’t eaten. I find that very moving. The nut is sacred and so few things are anymore. To me, there is also so much symbolism in both occasions being half-day holidays. The two parts come together to make a whole. The symbolism in that is amazing,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

Wednesday Rewind: Doves of Peace stage strike; “heavy-handed” tactics blamed

November 8, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 15 November 2012

The Park’s Doves of Peace announced today that they have initiated a strike in protest against what they call the “heavy-handed” tactics used recently by Park Police.

In a statement that was published in all major print media and read on all radio and television stations, the Doves declared that they had decided to withdraw their services to The Park for an unspecified length of time “in order to bring to light the change in attitude and decorum of Park Police and, by implication, the 2012 Archons.”

In the statement, the Doves complained about being “shut out” of events this year. They also cited the recent presence of Park Police at celebrations such as the annual Harvest Festival and Snowbird Farewell as evidence of a changing attitude of the Archons toward Park residents.

“These are events that we are, usually, sent to…not as peacekeepers, but as the symbol of interspecial harmony and peace,” said Georgina Golub, spokesBird for the Doves. “The decision, this year, to send police in our stead marks a change in attitude that we consider ominous.”

Historically, the Doves, who are a fully autonomous sub-group of Park Police, have been sent to attend all Park celebrations and days of significance. After a disruption during the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF), however, the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations took the decision to send Park Police, instead.

“We wanted to restore calm and order to our celebrations,” Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the Department, said in a telephone interview. “After the Noon Nuttiness surprise [violence], we felt we needed to be careful, at least for a while.”

But SpokesBird Golub called police presence at the Surrender of the Nut “the last straw.”

“On one of our most solemn occasions, the very symbol of peace, harmony, and trust, celebrants looked around and saw police everywhere. But when they looked up at the sky, they saw nothing,” she said.


SEE ALSO:

Hundreds jailed after Noon Nuttiness protest turns violent

Park celebrations “joyous” despite heavy police presence

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

What’s coming up in November

November 2, 2017 By TMD Reporters

What with hibernation preparation, debates, elections, and selections for POPS and Keeper of the Nut—and more—November is one of the busiest months of the year. Mark your calendars now to make sure you don’t miss these important events!

 

 

POPS  All Candidates’ Debate
We missed it last year, but it’s back in full force this year! Come out and hear what all the candidates for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) have to say.
November 6

POPS Election
This is it, folks! Time to choose the Animal you think best able to predict on Groundhog Day. Polls open at 10:00 and close at 8:00. Exercise your franchise!
November 7

Keeper of the Nut Selection
Who will it be? Every year, The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) surprises us with their selection of Keeper of the Nut. The announcement will be made in the morning. Don’t forget to add your name to the congratulatory message at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.
November 11

Surrender of the Nut
The ceremony of the Surrender of the Nut touches our hearts as does no other. A recognition not only of the harmony of the species, but of the ephemeral nature of life itself, it is a true celebration of the great unknown. Ceremony begins at 10:30 at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre. Keeper of the Nut will swear the oath at 10:45.
November 14 (Half-day holiday in The Park)

Official Date of Hibernation
Time to say farewell to our hibernating friends! One again, the tree of hearts will mark the road to hibernation. We’ll miss you. Be well. See you in the Spring.
November 17

 

Filed Under: Breaking News Tagged With: November

Wednesday Rewind: Finance Officer Milton Struts “strangely absent” from State of The Park Account

October 31, 2017 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Finance Officer Milton Struts was nowhere to be seen during Tuesday’s Account of the State of The Park

Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date: 30 October 2014

Park Finance Officer Milton Struts was not in attendance on Tuesday afternoon as the Park Archons delivered their annual Account of The State of The Park.

After repeated requests for clarification by members of The Park’s media, the PFO finally issued a statement this morning, confirming that the architect of the controversial 2015 budget was absent from Tuesday’s proceedings.

Although the short statement offered no explanation for Struts’s absence, many in The Park believe that he has fallen ill as a result of eating food that was offered to him by Humans.

Struts was last seen in public earlier this month when he attended the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) awards ceremony. By all accounts, he looked well that evening, though some said they thought he was showing signs of stress.

“Considering the treatment he received [that night], I thought he was holding up fantastically,” says Konrad Eule, who saw Struts beat back spitballs and suffer bites from a group of Animals.

Struts was ushered into the Cinema that night but was not seen exiting and it was believed at the time that he stayed inside until it was safe for him to be escorted home by Park Police.

Though theories abound as to his whereabouts and the reason he stayed away from the State of The Park Account, no definitive statement has been made by him or on his behalf.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: wednesday rewind

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