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Mark your calendars for these important February events in The Park

January 31, 2017 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

mark-thisFebruary is a busy and emotional time in The Park and this year it will be especially so, as we continue our year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:


waking-groundhogFebruary 1: Get ready! It’s almost Groundhog Day!
Catch up on your sleep tonight because you won’t get much until the weekend, with all the partying you’re going to do! And make sure you look your best, at least at the start of the celebration, by booking some time at any of The Park’s finest grooming houses.

groundhogdayscheduleFebruary 2: Groundhog Day
This is it, folks! The day we’ve all been waiting for. First, we’ll hear the POPS (Park Official Prognosticator of Spring) tell us what the weather has in store for us and then we’ll hear from the new Archons about what our government has in store for us! Festivities start at 7:00 a.m. and go on forever and ever, with the food stations open a full twenty-four hours (8:00 a.m. on February 2 until 8:00 a.m. on February 3).

And don’t forget the Early Risers’ after-party and the after-after parties after that!

groundhog-day-blowoutFebruary 2-9: Park shops to hold Groundhog Day sales
Whether or not 2017 POPS Ditmar Bosmarmot sees his shadow, there’ll be plenty to celebrate with lower prices at most Park shops. They’ll be open all night on February 1, as well as all day on Groundhog Day, too!

3d-cover-fierce-urgency-of-miaowFebruary 8: Book release
As we reported late last year, 2017 will be the year of the political book and two of the most important ones will be released this month. The first will be The Fierce Urgency of Miaow, historian Pieter N. Paard’s much-anticipated analysis of Jor and the Feline roots of Animal self-rule. Look for it in Park bookstores after February 8.

3d-tabby-king-croppedFebruary 10: Yannis Tavros interviews Jor’s biographer Yoshita Tigru
Hailed as a media coup, Yannis Tavros’s guest on his February 10 Toro Talk Radio show will be Yoshita Tigru, author of a new and controversial biography of The Park’s first leader. She’ll be discussing some unknown facts about Jor just four days before we celebrate the anniversary of his birth.

February 14: Anniversary of the birth of JorJOR
He was our first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy. This year’s full-day holiday will be devoted to his memory and to celebrating our future as a zoocratic Park.

Hieronymous Hedgehog February 19: Official End of Hibernation
Let’s celebrate survival! It’s time to welcome back our hibernating friends. As Hieronymous Hedgehog, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, would say, bring on the food! And in case you have any questions, here’s a handy guide to welcoming home those who’ve been in a state of torpor.

Keeper of the NutFebruary 20: Return of the Nut
This half-day holiday is an occasion both solemn and celebratory, as we renew our trust in each other and our faith in survival, itself. This year, it will be 2017 Keeper of the Nut Sunniva Muldvarp who will return the nut to The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC). After, that, we’ll all be looking to Spring and its renewal!

Have a great February, everybody!

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, February events, Park holidays

2017 Groundhog Day Schedule released

January 30, 2017 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

groundhogdayscheduleThe Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has released the Official Schedule of the 2017 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a press conference held early this morning, Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, announced plans for the ” Zoocracy 35 edition” of the celebrations.

Kanariar told the press that this year’s event will include the recognition of Park history “in many forms,” including a parade of all living former Archons, a reading from the historical tome of the sister of the founder of zoocracy, and a pantomime performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company.

“We’ll be acknowledging history and making history all at the same time,” Kanariar said. She also confirmed that the Endeka Elephant Band would contribute a musical interlude during the official celebrations, but they will not play during the parade.

As well, Kanariar said we can expect the parade to include a “host of new floats,” many of which will acknowledge the anniversary of the founding of zoocracy.

“Even though this is our Groundhog Day celebration, and not the official celebration of Animal self-rule in The Park, we thought it fitting to include that theme in the parade,” she said.

As ever, one of the most important aspects of the Groundhog Day celebrations will be the food. And the food this year will be “diverse,” because, Kanariar, said, “We want to celebrate interspecial harmony by recognizing our different eating preferences.”

Among the new food stations will be a “feral buffet” courtesy of Chef Tab Tricolore and “Diverse Dishes” supplied by a consortium of The Park’s chefs and restaurateurs.

Also new this year, food will be served for twenty-four hours straight.

“We’re going through from eight in the morning on the second [of February] until eight in the morning on the third,” Kanariar said. But she was quick to confirm this would not replace the celebration hosted by the Early Risers.

“We are not competing with the Early Risers at all, and they are welcome to come and join us at any time.”

And, don’t forget: for the fourth year in a row, the events will be covered live by Mammalian Daily reporters here on Twitter.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #GroundhogDay celebrations, hibernation, Spring, Zoocracy 35

Fleck + Stone to host information session on 2017 Prognostication Pad

January 26, 2017 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

Groundhog Day celebrationsFleck + Stone, the high-end architectural firm hired by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations to design and build the 2017 prognostication pad, will host an information session for Park residents this weekend.

In a short press release this morning, the firm’s Chief Architect, Vadim Kobras, invited all Park residents to the information session which will be held on Saturday afternoon at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

“It is of utmost importance to the Fleck + Stone team that Park residents be in possession of all the facts surrounding the 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad,” the press release said. “We will be happy to answer any questions about the design and execution of this important piece of equipment.”

Although it didn’t directly address the controversy over the assumed high cost of the pad, the press release did imply that Park residents would see its value:

“The Fleck + Stone team is incredibly proud of the work it has done to help celebrate Groundhog Day in this very special year. We are confident that Park residents will be receptive to our design and will appreciate its uniqueness.”

The press release cum invitation ended with the words, “We were honoured to have been chosen for this job and we remain committed to supporting The Park and zoocracy in any way we can.” It was signed by the Chief Architect, himself.

According to sources close to the firm, Kobras will speak generally about the pad and building materials and go over some of the designs the team considered before fixing on the one that was built. No illustrations of the actual pad will be revealed, but Kobras is said to have also prepared a talk that deals with the history and significance of the prognostication pad.

The final design will be revealed in the early morning hours of Groundhog Day.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Fleck+Stone, prognostication pad

Chief Archon Kuttu said to be “very involved” in Groundhog Day planning

January 23, 2017 By Renée Simone Canard, TMD Gossip Reporter

Groundhog Day celebrationsNewly-selected Chief Archon, Klarissa Kuttu, is reportedly “very involved” in the planning of this year’s Groundhog Day celebration.

According to a post on the gossip web site, headsNtales, the Chief Archon, who was sworn in on January 16, called a meeting the same afternoon to discuss plans for the upcoming event.

The post, which was dated January 22, quotes an unnamed source “close to the Archons” as saying it was “more of a summoning than a meeting.”

According to the source, those present included all 34 new Archons, staff from the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, the event’s chief organizer Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr., Fleck + Stone’s chief architect Vadim Kobras, historian Clark Cascanueces and University of West Terrier history professor Beatrice Zilonis, PASS President Wellington Whistlepig, Kalliope Sun Bear, president of the Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP), and representatives of the Park Police and the Does of Peace.

To date, very few new Chief Archons have been involved in Groundhog Day planning. George Frederick Grouse, who served as Chief Archon in 2008, said he was surprised when he read the post.

“The plans and budget are usually in place before the new Archons are selected,” he said. “There is very little time to get involved with the event and I don’t know why she [Kuttu] would want to. I’d think she’d be involved in writing her address and setting out the Archons’ plans for the year,” he said.

The Mammalian Daily has reached out to Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations for comment, but thus far she has not responded.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Gossip and Rumour, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Chief Archon's address, planning, Zoocracy 35

Mark your calendars for these important events this January

January 5, 2017 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Put this on your calendarJanuary is a busy time in The Park, but this year it will be especially busy as we embark on our year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of the establishment of zoocracy. To make sure you don’t miss anything, keep these dates circled on your calendar:

January 1-15: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry, For Tomorrow You May Have to Govern
Because we use the sortition method to select our Archons every January, we are all aware that this duty may fall to us. So, in the days leading up to the selection and announcement, spend time with your friends and family, and enjoy yourself. You may not have much time to do so in the coming year.

January 6: Otter Ice Slide Opens
We’re lucky to host all four seasons in The Park and we do enjoy our Winter. As it happens, our Otters know a thing or two about Winter fun, too, and they’re generous enough to share it with the rest of us. So, get yourself over to the Otter Ice Slide while it’s still cold out. There’s no feeling like it!

January 15: New Archons Announced
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts early on the morning of January 15, an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The list will remain posted at the Courts until the end of the week, so that all citizens and residents may review the names. The list will also be published in the January 15 edition of The Mammalian Daily.

January 16: Archons sworn in (half-day holiday)
For the selected Archons, the swearing-in ceremony will be a first; for Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, it will be his eighteenth. This year’s ceremony will be especially meaningful and poignant, given zoocracy’s anniversary and the fact that all previous Archons and Chief Archons (that is, those who are still with us) are scheduled to appear with the new government.

January 20-March 31: PMoCA presents ARCHONOGRAPHY
To honour those who so faithfully have served the process of Animal self-rule, the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA) will host this “ultra-live” art installation. Park artists will be on-site twelve hours a day to paint portraits of museum-goers’ chosen Archons. All portraits will hang in the museum until the end of 2017. Admission to the event is free. More details will be available on the PMoCA’s web site.

January 29: University of West Terrier Annual Open House
The annual open house at The Park’s most renowned research institution attracts hopeful would-be students, alumni, and all those interested in higher education. Come for the tour and the snacks, but stay for the annual speaker. You’ll never be disappointed!

January 31: Herman Stoat Dance Company at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre: “The Cyclamen in Winter”
As a tribute to our hibernating friends, the Herman Stoat Dance Company will give a special performance of “The Cyclamen in Winter” at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre. Admission is free.

Lead-up to Groundhog Day
One of our most important holidays (if not the most important), The Park’s Groundhog Day celebration will include, of course, the prognostication, the Archons’ address, and the welcoming home of our hibernators. Shadow or no shadow, this year’s GD celebration is sure to be a great one. See you there!

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, January 2017 events in The Park

“We must all come together now,” says newly-elected POPS Ditmar Bosmarmot

November 19, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

Ditmar Bosmarmot

Ditmar Bosmarmot, 2017 POPS

The POPS election is over for this year and we must all come together now, Ditmar Bosmarmot told a massive crowd last night just minutes after he was declared the 2017 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

“This has been a very difficult and contentious election. A lot of things have been said that can’t be taken back, so we must remember them and use them to make The Park a better and a more unified place,” he said.

As he and the six previous holders of the position encircled one of the farewell Trees of Hearts, Bosmarmot remarked that when he emerged again in February, zoocracy in The Park would be celebrating its thirty-fifth birthday.

“This will be a historic year for all of us,” he told the cheering crowd. “We should all be proud of ourselves for sustaining Animal self-rule against all odds. I look forward to continuing this journey with you after Groundhog Day.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Groundhog Day prediction, POPS, zoocracy

Election Office scrambles to meet today’s deadline to declare a winner

November 17, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

ballot-boxThe Park Election Office (PEO) is scrambling to count all the votes cast in the November 7 election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) by midnight tonight in order to announce a winner before the hibernating community takes its leave for the Winter.

In an early morning interview on TMD Radio,  PEO head Gerritt Wezel said he and his team would “do anything” to avoid the situation that occurred three years ago, when the vote counting took so long that hibernation had to be postponed for weeks.

“That took its toll on the whole Park, emotionally, as well as physically,” he said.

Wezel also confirmed that he’d asked the members of the Maple Tree Project, who organize the Tree of Hearts sendoff for hibernators, to postpone the hanging of the hearts until late in the afternoon. According to Wezel, former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros, who initiated the project, agreed to hold off until about five o’clock.

The election results will be broadcast across all Park media as soon as they are known.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, hibernation, POPS 2017 election, tree of hearts

“We don’t count votes by species,” Park Election Office head tells media

November 10, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

vote-by-speciesMembers of the media drew ire this morning from Park Election Office head Gerritt Wezel when they pressed him on the subject of Groundhog participation in Monday’s election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS).

The media inquiries were made at a short press conference which Wezel had called to issue an update on the counting of votes and the estimated time of announcing the election winner.

But when the conference was opened up to questions, it became obvious that most media representatives were more interested in whether The Park’s Groundhog population had exercised its franchise in this unusual election.

After a few failed attempts to move past the question, a visibly annoyed Wezel issued a terse response: “We don’t count votes by species.”

The answer, though, seemed not to satisfy the media, who then pressed Wezel on the reason for the three polls the PEO conducted before the election, two of which indicated that The Park’s Groundhog population had become disenchanted with the present system.

Wezel did not directly answer that question, but he did confirm that the Archons and the PEO were looking at that polling information “very carefully.”

“All I can tell you right now is that there are going to be changes made to the POPS elections,” he said. “We are rapidly outgrowing this system and we need to take action as soon as possible.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Groundhogs, POPS election

Doves called back to assist Does of Peace in monitoring polling stations

November 7, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

vote-hereThe Doves of Peace were called back from migration last week to assist their sister-agency, the Does of Peace, in monitoring polling stations during today’s election.

According to Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), the unprecedented decision was made “to ensure the integrity of the election.”

The Doves and Does, who are fully autonomous sub-groups of Park Police, attend Park celebrations and days of significance, but this is the first time in Park history that they have been called to monitor an election.

Speaking last night from a pit stop a few kilometres from The Park, Doves of Peace spokesBird Georgina Golub said the decision to call her group back to The Park was appropriate, “if not prescient.”

“Yesterday’s violence at the All Candidates’ mega rally was a good sign that we should come home and keep the peace during this historic election,” she said.

The violence that Golub referred to at yesterday’s rally started with one attendee deliberately tripping Ekeoma L. Girraaf, who had just finished speaking in support of candidate Yannis Tavros. Tavros’s supporters, including his campaign manager Raimundo Zorro, ganged up on the attendee and held him until Park Police forced them to release him. At that point, supporters of the beaten attendee cornered Zorro and tried to block police access to him. Zorro, who was convicted last year of hate-mongering and engaging in specist activities, was eventually removed from the rally, but not before at least fifty Animals were arrested and many more were taken to hospital.

Golub said that after re-grouping, the Doves would be ready for work at noon today.

“We’re looking forward to monitoring a peaceful and enjoyable election process,” she said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, peacekeeping, POPS election, rally violence

As POPS mega rally begins, Tavros gets support from 2016 Keeper of the Nut

November 6, 2016 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

tavros-poster-sans-wallWHOA! BRAKING NEWS

In what many are calling a “November unnerving,” 2016 Keeper of the Nut Ekeoma L. Girraaf announced late last night that he will attend today’s POPS All Candidates’ mega rally in support of Yannis Tavros.

Girraaf, who last year became the first large Animal elected by The Park’s Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) to serve as Keeper of the Nut, says it’s “high time this position became more inclusive.”

In a radio interview this morning on Toro Talk Radio, Tavros’s home station, Girraaf said that Tavros’s candidacy is not only groundbreaking, but “the logistical extension of what Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon put in place in 2003, when he opened up the position to elections with candidates from all species.”

But SAHC president Malinda L. Hamster, who last year expressed great joy at her community’s decision to elect Girraaf, says she herself has reservations about electing Tavros to the position.

“It isn’t his species that bothers me; it’s his temperament. He fluctuates wildly in both opinion and mood and I know that it takes a more steady temperament to be POPS,” she says.

“It isn’t just about the prediction, which arguably any Animal of any size or species could do. It’s about dealing with the pressures, before, during, and after. Predictions are disputed, those elected POPS in the past have been vilified and threatened. I don’t believe Yannis Tavros has the temperament to withstand such criticism. And I know he doesn’t have the discipline to stay quiet while his prediction is disputed.”

Despite her reservations, Hamster says that should Tavros win the election, she will abide by the decision of The Park’s Animals.

“It is an election, after all. And we must have faith in our fellow citizens,” she says.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, Whoa! Braking News Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, POPS election, Small Animal Hibernating Community, Tavros temperament

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