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Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen
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On This Day—August 11, 2014: The more things change, the more Humans stay the same: Noreen

August 11, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Noreen

The more things change, the more Humans stay the same.

So concludes Noreen in her second academic article due to be published in the November issue of the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB).

In the article, which is entitled, How Dubious Wisdom Leads to Human Folly, the Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier and Mammalian Daily advice columnist shares new insights into “what makes the Human world go around.”

“Around is the key word here, my research showed me,” says Noreen.

“After spending the better part of two years studying Human history, I had to conclude that their [Humans’] tendency to end up where they started is the fault of their inability to learn from their predecessors. They cannot seem to incorporate lessons from previous generations,” she says.

“They are a tenacious species and there is much to be admired in that. But they appear to be true catalysts. They change the world, but they remain unchanged. And, as we have seen, that can lead to long-term problems for all species.”

Noreen said she found the research very difficult to do, “because there were so many places along the way that cried out for a change of course, but that change of course was never taken.”


lovely-to-look-at-front-coverBuy Noreen’s book, Lovely to Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Noreen, Park Life

Noreen gets police protection after brawl breaks out at UWT event

June 23, 2017 By TMD Police Reporter

Official NoreenNoreen was escorted home by Park Police yesterday after a brawl broke out at an event she was co-hosting at the University of West Terrier.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist, who is also an adjunct professor of Human Studies at UWT, was the co-host, with Chittenden School of Law professor Fionnula Fox, of an extended Q&A session after the launch of their joint project, the Domestic Empowerment Initiative (DEI). The DEI is designed to empower Animals who are currently living in a domestic situation with Humans.

During the Q&A, a brawl broke out among audience members who misunderstood Noreen’s words and took them to mean she was in favour of Animal domestication. Although she made several attempts to clarify her position, the audience members would have none of it. After several minutes of name-calling and threats to Noreen’s safety, UWT security removed the offending Animals and shut the session down. Park Police officer Gareth Shepherd then escorted Noreen home.

On Twitter this morning, Noreen thanked Officer Shepherd and sought once again to clarify her stand on Animal domestication.

gareth

“I did NOT say that domestication by Humans is acceptable,” she wrote. “Rather, I said that domestication is a complicated issue and there are circumstances under which living with Humans is the best option.”

She also wrote that she believes that strengthening The Park’s economy, educating Animals and encouraging Animal self-rule are the best methods by which we can eliminate both the need and desire for domestication.

“Life is never easy, but self-determination beats domestication,” she concluded.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Noreen, Park Life Tagged With: animal domestication, Humans, Noreen

Noreen nominated for literary award for UWT speech on Human architecture

May 8, 2017 By Paislynn Pangolin, TMD Arts Critic

Official NoreenBREAKING NEWS: Noreen has been nominated for a Chitter Radio Literary Award.

In an announcement this morning, CRLA director Guadalupe Tucán confirmed Noreen’s nomination in the speech category for her address at a University of West Terrier forum this past Autumn.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies served as chair of the two-day October event, which discussed the effects of Human architecture on other Animals. Other participants included faculty members in the UWT Schools of Architecture, Medicine, and Economics and Social Science, as well as community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health.

Noreen’s speech, which was entitled, “Doors, Screens, Walls, Halls: The Ins and Outs of Human Architecture,” was exceptionally well-received at the event, according to university officials and forum participants.

This is Noreen’s first CRLA nomination.

The Chitter Radio Literary Awards will be held on June 15, 2017.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Noreen, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Chitter Radio Literary Award, Human architecture, Noreen, speech

Noreen pens heartfelt open letter to the “Humans of the world”

January 24, 2017 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

noreen-tweetMAMMALIAN DAILY EXCLUSIVE

Noreen has penned a heartfelt open letter to the “Humans of the world.”

The longtime Mammalian Daily advice columnist and University of West Terrier Adjunct Professor of Human Studies tweeted this morning that she “could not stay silent for long” and that she would post her open letter to the Humans of the world “soon.”

This afternoon, she sat down with our Human Affairs Reporter to discuss the letter and her need to speak out about recent events in the Human world.

In that interview, Noreen explained that she had long been an observer of Humans and their behaviour and that, unlike many other Animals, she had a “soft spot” for the species, despite their sometimes odious behaviour.

“It is a fraught relationship in many ways, and that is largely their fault,” she said. “But I’ve lived with and around Humans my whole life and they’ve been good to me. I’ve never tried to disguise that fact. Humans have very little understanding of themselves and as I watch them lurch toward the abyss, I feel a certain responsibility to save them.”

She said that although her letter was an attempt to do just that, she had no expectations that it would change anything.

“Humans retain a certain stubbornness, even in the face of insight,” she said.

The following is the opening portion of her letter, which she is allowing only The Mammalian Daily to publish:

My dear Humans of the world,

I’m quite sure you have no idea who I am. Even if you did know my name, you would have no familiarity with my work or my beliefs and I understand that. Most of what I say you cannot hear; neither can you read in my language. That is why I am writing this in yours.

I have been an observer of your behaviour for a long time—almost my whole life. From an early age, I realized that many other Animals found your behaviour incomprehensible, but I was determined to decode it,  to understand who you were and what you wanted. My desire to do that was so strong that studying you became my life’s work.

As an advice columnist and a researcher in Human studies, it has been my greatest privilege to have had the opportunity to explain you— your beliefs, your needs, and your desires—to a broad range of other species who have benefitted from my knowledge in countless ways. So it is with great confidence that I approach this task of explaining you to you.

I ask only that you hear me out, that you consider carefully my observations, and that you accept this letter as a gift from me to a species I have long admired, a species for whom I wish only good things, however they may come.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Noreen, Park Life, Whoa! Braking News Tagged With: Humans, letter, Noreen

Noreen to chair UWT forum on effects of Human architecture on other Animals

September 22, 2016 By Nienke Varken, TMD Education Reporter

Official NoreenThe President and Governors of the University of West Terrier announced today that Noreen will chair a forum on the effects of Human architecture on the lives of other Animals. The forum, which will be hosted by the UWT School of Architecture, will take place on the university’s campus on October 8 and 9.

The university called the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human studies the “perfect choice” to chair the discussion because “her abilities as a mediator and as a researcher are exceptional.”

Participants in the forum will include faculty members of the UWT School of Architecture as well as faculty of the Schools of Medicine and Economics and Social Science. In addition, the university has invited community architects and professionals working in the fields of physical and mental health and well-being to share their knowledge and expertise.

Read the university’s full announcement here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Noreen, Park Life Tagged With: effects of Human architecture on other Animals, Human architecture, Noreen, University of West Terrier

Noreen to oust Yannis Tavros for one-off “Soppy Season Q&A” on Toro Talk Radio

December 10, 2015 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

lovely-to-look-at-back-cover

Noreen will answer questions about the soppy season on the Yannis Tavros show

BREAKING NEWS

Noreen will be taking over Yannis Tavros’s radio show next Tuesday.

In a press release issued today, Toro Talk Radio, the station that hosts Tavros’s daily call-in show, announced that it has booked Noreen for his time slot on December 15.

“We are pleased that Noreen has accepted our invitation to appear on air and answer your most pressing questions about the ‘soppy season,’ ” the press release said.

According to the station’s management, The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and author of Lovely To Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans will host a live “extended public service announcement” on Tuesday. She will be taking calls from the audience on the subject of keeping safe and coping with Humans during the “soppy season.”

“We’ve all come to understand just how soppy Humans can be, sometimes,” Noreen said in an interview earlier this year. “But what many of us don’t understand is how to cope with that and how to keep ourselves safe in the face of such an onslaught of emotion.”

Almost a year ago, the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), which issues an annual safety alert at this time of year, announced that it was collaborating with Noreen on a guide for staying safe during the Human soppy seasons. While publication of that guide has been delayed, the DWBS has enlisted Noreen’s help in getting the word out through other media.

“What some Animals don’t understand is that there are many soppy seasons in the Human calendar and each one generates a different problem,” says DWBS director of public relations Cornelius Kakapo. “It is a much more complex issue than we originally thought.”

In the meantime, Toro Talk Radio has invited listeners to submit their questions beforehand as well as during the show’s airing.

“We anticipate an overflow [of questions], but be assured that Noreen will answer each and every inquiry, either on air or afterwards,” says a spokesAnimal for the radio station.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Noreen, Park Life Tagged With: Noreen, Safety in the Soppy Season

The Righteous Among the Humans: new TMD section to be curated by Noreen

September 22, 2015 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Official Noreen

Noreen will expand her rôle with The Mammalian Daily this year

BREAKING NEWS

The Mammalian Daily announced today that Noreen will be expanding her rôle with the newspaper to include curating a new section called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.”

In a press statement issued this morning, TMD managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed that Noreen had made a pitch to the paper a few months ago that involved formally recognizing members of the Human species who do “great work on behalf of other Animals.”

“While we immediately recognized the value of such a section, we were, initially, reluctant to give over so much space to the Human species,” Haas admitted in the statement. “But Noreen convinced us that highlighting the good work done by Humans was very much in keeping with both our journalistic and charitable goals.”

Haas also said that Noreen was a “perfect fit” for the job, since “she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both formally and informally.”

“She knows them inside and out and if Noreen says, ‘these ones are worthy of our attention and respect,’ well, that’s good enough for us at The Mammalian Daily,” Haas said.

Haas also confirmed that Noreen plans to publish an open letter to her friends and fans outlining the details and goals of her new job.

The Righteous Among the Humans section will début this month on The Mammalian Daily’s web site.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Noreen, Park Life, The Righteous Among the Humans Tagged With: good works for animals, Noreen, The Righteous Among the Humans

Barkettes announce collaboration with Noreen on new song called “Yield!”

August 16, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

YIELD

The Barkettes’ will base their new song “Yield!” on Noreen’s 2015 UWT commencement address

BREAKING NEWS
Less than a week before the final Park performance of their “Bring Your Own Bone” tour, Thisbe and the Barkettes have thrown us a bone of our own: the announcement that they plan to collaborate with Noreen on a song based on her 2015 University of West Terrier commencement address.

In a press release issued this morning, The Park’s most beloved singing group confirmed that they have entered into an agreement with the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct professor of Human Studies for the creation and production of a new song called, “Yield!”

“Every bit of Noreen’s speech was so moving and showed so much wisdom,” the group writes in the release, “but the part called ‘Yield’ touched us like no other. It echoes what we–individually and as a group–have believed in and stood for all these years. It cried out for recognition and we felt we could not refuse it.”

The press release did not offer any time frame for the creation or production of the song but, according to the gossip site headsNtales, the group has booked a recording studio in The Park for the last two weeks of November.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Gossip and Rumour, Noreen, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture, Thisbe and the Barkettes Tagged With: Barkettes collaborate with Noreen, new song, Thisbe and the Barkettes, Yield

Noreen shocks Yannis Tavros listeners: “Let’s organize a Superfan Saturday!”

July 31, 2015 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Official NoreenListeners to the Yannis Tavros show on Wednesday were treated not only to an exclusive interview with Noreen, but to an extemporaneous ode to superfans and a spontaneous call to honour their contributions.

“The rôle of superfans has changed immensely over my lifetime in that they now have an actual rôle to play in the careers of their idols,” said the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier.

“Their relationship to the stars, whether they be musicians, painters, singers, sculptors, writers…has become symbiotic and I truly believe this is a positive thing.”

Noreen, who has herself been called “the ultimate superfan,” because of her longstanding loyalty and affection for Thisbe and the Barkettes, was a solo guest on the Toro Talk Radio show Wednesday. While taking calls from listeners, Noreen experienced what she called a “whistle in her ear,” a term she has used often for the phenomenon of an idea that presents itself to her out of the blue.

“We need to organize a Superfan Saturday!” she exclaimed, taking Tavros and the radio station by surprise. “Let’s make a commitment, right here and now to honour superfans publicly. If you are a superfan, call in now. We’ll take down your name and details and get back to you about the time and date.”

By the time the show was finished, Noreen and the radio technicians had a list of hundreds of superfans, and a queue of several hundred more waiting on the phones.

While Tavros seemed stunned, Noreen was obviously thrilled by the response. She said she planned to visit the office of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations as soon as she took off her microphone.

“Let’s do this!” she barked. “This is going to be one heck of a celebration!”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Noreen, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Noreen, superfans, Yannis Tavros

Noreen’s commencement address: five phrases and one word for you to grow forward with

June 15, 2015 By Nienke Varken, TMD Education Reporter

UWT COAT“Students, families, President, Governors: Thank you. If ever there was one word that could hold a lifetime of advice, it is this: Yield.”

I stand here today humbled. Humbled by the invitation to speak to you, the graduating class of 2015. Humbled as a Canine who never attended the University of West Terrier or, indeed, any institution of higher learning. Humbled as a Canine who has, in many ways, lived by her wits and, by doing so, has found a home here among your esteemed educators.

When I first received the invitation from your President and Governors, I was overwhelmed. It seemed like the most daunting of tasks, thinking of something of substance to tell the young as they embark on adult life. While as an advice columnist and researcher, I was used to telling you what I’d observed and experienced in my lifetime, I couldn’t imagine what I could tell you about what you may observe and experience in your lifetime.

Then, after much deliberation, I realized that some of the best advice I could offer was, in fact, no advice at all. Instead, I’ve chosen to give you the gift of “food for thought” and to allow you, yourselves, to ponder your own future.

What I’m going to say to you today may seem simple, even trite, perhaps obvious, or even irrelevant. But as you move through life, I can almost guarantee, you will gain an increasing understanding of its relevance. So, my only piece of advice is this: keep this short list handy and refer to it from time to time. You will be amazed at how these few phrases impart even more wisdom as you age.

What I have to offer you today can be summed up in five phrases—and one word. These are phrases that I have culled from—gasp—the Human world. That is, after all, my area of study.

During my travels and, particularly, during my recent book tour, I had the good fortune to observe the many pieces of advice that Humans post openly in their world. I’ve discovered that Humans are quite clever in the way they plaster their highways and byways with wise sayings. I have selected a few of these to offer you today and I will demonstrate their relevance to your own life.

  1. Always secure your own [oxygen] mask first before assisting others
    I confess, I was confused by this sign before I was able to glean its true meaning. It is not, as it appears, a call to abandon altruism. Rather, it is a warning to all living beings to make sure that they are in a position to follow through on any help they offer others. Make sure your own foundation is strong before you make promises and if it is not, strengthen it first. Don’t abandon a job halfway because you run out of resources. Plan ahead.
  2.  No Parking
    Stagnation is the enemy of all living beings. You must keep moving, physically, mentally, emotionally. Don’t settle for comfort. Yes, enjoy the fruits of your labour and of your luck. But don’t stop there. There is always much work to be done in the world and never enough time for any one generation to do it.
  3.  No Diving Allowed
    This may seem almost the opposite of what I’ve just said, but it is not. And, I admit, the Human fear of failure is evident here. But after a bit more thought, I realized that this was only a warning against precipitous action. Make sure you’ve done your research, have a backup plan and a support system. Make sure the water is deep enough before you dive in.
  4. Yield
    If ever there was one word that could hold a lifetime of advice, it is this: Yield. Particularly in The Park, where the lives of so many different species converge, there is no better piece of advice that one could give than to yield. Step aside. Let others pass. Make sure your fellow citizens get what they need. You will never regret it.
  5. This bag is not a toy
    As I’m sure you can see, this phrase can have a variety of meanings, but none is a warning against play. And while the true meaning of this phrase seemed elusive to me for some time, I have come to understand it more fully in the last year. Play is good—and necessary—but make sure you understand the boundaries of its arena. Some things, though not all, warrant seriousness, even gravity. Be sure you can distinguish one from the other.
  6. The objects in the mirror are closer than they appear
    And now, perhaps the most important of all. Humans have a phrase, “History repeats itself.” The sad fact is that it does. It is incumbent upon us to understand that whatever gains we make—as individuals, as species, or as any large group—may be undone in an instant if we are not vigilant. Look in the rearview mirror often. Understand the past. Understand where you and your ancestors came from and what their lives were like. And never forget it. History is not fiction. The horrors of the past can easily creep back up on us to become the horrors of the present. Be attuned: those footsteps are never very far behind.

And, so, I conclude here, leaving you with a few things to think about as you move forward in your lives.

To you, the class of 2015, I wish everything good: health, happiness, the chance to pursue your goals, and to live as long a life as your species allows. Congratulations!”

This address was delivered by Noreen at the University of West Terrier commencement ceremonies on June 1, 2015.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Noreen, Park Life Tagged With: commencement address, Noreen

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