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Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

Noreen to collaborate with DWBS on guide to “Safety in the Soppy Seasons”

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lovely-to-look-at-front-cover

For even more insight into Humans, buy Noreen’s book! Just click on the image above.

“We’ve all come to understand just how soppy Humans can be, sometimes,” says Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier.

“But what many of us don’t understand is how to cope with that and how to keep ourselves safe in the face of such an onslaught of emotion.”

There is help on the way though, she said, at a press conference held early this morning.

Standing beside Cornelius Kakapo, director of public relations for The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety, Noreen announced her collaboration with the department on what she called “the definitive guide to staying safe in the soppy seasons.”

“Animals need to acquire the skill sets to cope with the ‘two-legged Lions,'” she said. “Especially when they try to give us Bear hugs.”

Kakapo concurred.

“Several times a year, we [the DWBS] issue a safety alert, telling Animals to beware of Humans looking for temporary—or even permanent—Animal companionship. And The Park has devoted the entire month of June to spreading awareness of enforced domestication,” he said.

“But, clearly, that hasn’t been enough. The number of Animal kidnappings has increased dramatically over the past few years. We’re now even seeing cases of Animals being returned to The Park after these events. They are often in very bad shape, both physically and mentally. Some of them are altered for life. We have to put a stop to this. And we feel the first step is to arm Park Animals with the information they need to keep themselves and their loved ones safe.”

The printed guide will be published this Autumn, Kakapo said, and will be available free of charge through the DWBS offices, the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, and the Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic. A pdf copy will also be posted on this web site.

Noreen: TMD’s Animal of the Year

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lovely-to-look-at-back-coverBREAKING NEWS
The Mammalian Daily has chosen Noreen as its 2014 Animal of the Year.

In a press announcement this morning, TMD managing editor Orphea Haas said the newspaper’s staff chose to honour the advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies because of her “tireless efforts” on behalf of zoocracy and her commitment to achieving harmony among the species.

“Noreen has been at the forefront in the struggle to achieve harmony among the species. She has been committed to interspecial understanding from the beginning of her career. She has worked tirelessly in an effort to help other Animals achieve awareness, understanding, and acceptance of our differences, thereby upholding one of the most important tenets of zoocracy. Her recent book, Lovely To Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans, is just another example of her endeavours in this regard. Noreen is a true champion of zoocracy and an upstanding Park citizen and we are pleased to honour her as our 2014 Animal of the Year,” said Haas.

Park Animals may be predisposed to eating Human food: Noreen

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Official Noreen

Park Animals may be predisposed to eating Human food: Noreen

We shouldn’t judge Park Finance Officer Milton Struts too harshly if, in fact, he did accept an offer of food from Humans.[pullquote]The prolonged exposure to Humans experienced by Park Animals has had a profound effect on our senses, most notably our senses of smell and taste. — Noreen [/pullquote]

So writes Noreen, Mammalian Daily advice columnist and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier, who begins a leave of absence tomorrow to promote her new book, Lovely To Look At.

In an open letter to be published this weekend on The Mammalian Daily web site, Noreen encourages Park citizens to be “tolerant of the effects that proximity to Humans has had on our population.”

“There is scientific evidence that has come to us from experiments performed at the University of West Terrier that indicates very strongly that the prolonged exposure to Humans experienced by Park Animals has had a profound effect on our senses, most notably our senses of smell and taste,” she writes.

It is not surprising, then, that we have developed a taste for Human food, despite its inferior quality and our limited ability to digest it.

“Time was, no Park Animal would even consider eating something a Human eats. But times have changed. Not only do we consider it, but many more of us than we realize actually do it. It is the ‘dirty little secret’ that many Animals will not speak about. Whether or not Mr. Struts did eat the food as has been reported, it opens up a dialogue that we should have had a long time ago.” she writes.

lovely-to-look-at-front-coverNoreen’s book, Lovely To Look At, will be published in early November.
Copies will be available for purchase at the Toronto International Book Fair (November 13-16) and on the publisher’s web site thereafter.

One last assignment: Noreen to cover Frankfurt Book Fair before leave starts

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Noreen official badge portraitNoreen will be taking a short break from her work here at The Mammalian Daily in order to promote her book, Lovely To Look At.

But before her leave starts on November 1, she has accepted one last Mammalian Daily assignment: covering the Frankfurt Book Fair in early October.

In a press release dated today, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas confirmed both Noreen’s six-month leave from the paper and her last assignment:

It is with great pleasure that we announce today that our advice columnist Noreen will be taking a six-month leave of absence commencing November 1. She will be spending that time promoting her book, Lovely To Look At.

Before she leaves us, though, Noreen has accepted one last assignment. She will be covering the Frankfurt Book Fair (http://buchmesse.de/en/) between October 8 and October 12. We take pride in being the only Park newspaper to be sending a correspondent to the largest book fair in the world.

Although we will miss her come November, all of us at The Mammalian Daily wish her great success in this and in her future endeavours.” 

Stay connected to Noreen by following her on Instagram and Twitter:

Noreen reporting from the Frankfurt Book Fair: http://twitter.com/NoreenatTheFair

Instagram: http://instagram.com/officialnoreen/

Talks with Noreen on Twitter: http://twitter.com/talkswithnoreen

Data Tree hacking was likely the result of “Human error,” says Noreen

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Official Noreen

April’s Tree hacking was likely “human error,” says Noreen

The hacking in April of one of The Park’s largest data Trees was likely the result of “Human error,” rather than malicious intent, Noreen says.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist and University of West Terrier adjunct professor of Human Studies was participating in a panel discussion on Toro Talk Radio when she made the comment.

“Humans act as much out of ignorance as they do out of self-interest,” she said.

“And, often, the two go hand-in-hand. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to discover that the Humans who did the hacking had no idea whatsoever that the Tree was being used to store precious data.”

In fact, the Tree had been used for years by Sierpinski Squirrel, Chief Financial Officer of A. Corn and Partners. The company’s long-term lease allowed the Squirrel to store his raw data in the Tree. Much of that data was recovered during the investigation into the hacking, but a significant amount was lost.

“I would bet the Humans thought that the Tree was ill or interfering with other vegetation,” she said. “I can’t imagine any other reason that they would deliberately hack the Tree.”

Noreen also cautioned the panel to remember the limitations of Humans’ senses.

“There are many things that Humans are not able to see and often they misinterpret the things they do see. And we shouldn’t forget, either, that the majority of them lean toward taking a negative view of things they do not understand,” she said.

 

lovely-to-look-at-front-coverNoreen’s book, Lovely To Look At, will be published in October.
For more information or to place a pre-publication order, please use this email address: lovelytolookatbook@trojanhorsepress.net

 

Follow Noreen wherever she goes!

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Official Noreen

Noreen is on the move!

The longtime Mammalian Daily advice columnist and Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier will take to the road this Autumn to promote her book as well as the causes she’s passionate about.

Don’t miss a moment of her journey!

Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/talkswithnoreen and join our email list at lovelytolookatbook@trojanhorsepress.net for updates on her book. And keep your eyes open for contests, draws, auctions and more.

The more things change, the more Humans stay the same: Noreen

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Noreen

“Humans are unable to incorporate lessons from previous generations.” – Noreen

The more things change, the more Humans stay the same.

[pullquote]While Human tenacity is admirable, in the end we had to conclude that it is a barrier to necessary change. — Noreen [/pullquote]

So concludes Noreen in her second academic article due to be published in the November issue of the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB).

In the article, which is entitled, How Dubious Wisdom Leads to Human Folly, the Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier and Mammalian Daily advice columnist shares new insights into “what makes the Human world go around.”

“Around is the key word here, my research showed me,” says Noreen.

“After spending the better part of two years studying Human history, I had to conclude that their [Humans’] tendency to end up where they started is the fault of their inability to learn from their predecessors. They cannot seem to incorporate lessons from previous generations,” she says.

“They are a tenacious species and there is much to be admired in that. But they appear to be true catalysts. They change the world, but they remain unchanged. And, as we have seen, that can lead to long-term problems for all species.”

Noreen said she found the research very difficult to do, “because there were so many places along the way that cried out for a change of course, but that change of course was never taken.”

 

lovely-to-look-at-front-coverBuy Noreen’s book, Lovely to Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans here.

“Human values” not an oxymoronic term: Noreen

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Official Noreen

Noreen

“Human values” is not an oxymoronic term.

[pullquote]Many of the values and mores that in the past we have attributed only to ourselves have been shown to exist in Humans as well. — Noreen[/pullquote]So says Noreen in her first academic article, due to be published in the May issue of the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB).

In the article, which is entitled, “Not Just Skin Deep: On Human Belief Systems and Motivations,” the Adjunct Professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier and Mammalian Daily advice columnist shares new insights into Humans’ belief systems and the determinants of Human behaviour.

“Some of what I have learned will surprise Park Animals,” she says. “Many of the values and mores that in the past we have attributed only to ourselves have been shown to exist in Humans as well.”

For example, Noreen contends, while Human behaviour may appear random to us, it is more often than not the result of ideas and beliefs that are widely held among members of the species. 

“And these ideas and beliefs are often founded in a kind of morality. We may not recognize it, but very often Humans are trying to do what they believe is the best thing,” she writes.

Click on Noreen’s book below to get your copy now!

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New eBook edition cover

Margaret Atwood tweets Noreen

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