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OTD in 2012—MMBP to sponsor “Archonic Visions” travelling exhibition

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The Marine Mammal Bank of The Park announced on Friday that it has agreed to sponsor The Park Museum’s first travelling exhibition this year.

MMBP’s Chief Executive Officer, Alphonse Dolphin, made the announcement at a morning press conference. Flanked by members of the Museum’s Board of Governors, Dolphin said his bank “jumped at the chance” to partner with the Museum on such an important occasion.

“We are proud and honoured to be sponsors of this [travelling] exhibition,” he said. “The Marine Mammal Bank has a proud history, as do The Park and its citizens, and we look forward to a long and happy association with the new Museum.”

The exhibition, entitled “Archonic Visions,” will chronicle the changes that have occurred in The Park since the establishment of zoocracy thirty years ago. The exhibition will focus on the ideas and accomplishments of the Archons who served in the government from the first year of zoocracy until the end of 2010.

“Each set of Archons left its footprint and changed life in The Park in some way. We want to highlight that and at the same time, perhaps, awaken in our citizens the desire for a deeper understanding of our history,” said Sukuta Rhinoceros, a member of the Board of Governors and one of the museum’s founders.

Rhinoceros also hopes the travelling exhibition will increase Animals’ interest in the new museum. “We see this exhibition as an invitation to our fellow citizens…to join us on our journey,” he said.

Groundbreaking ceremonies for the new museum are scheduled for September. The museum is expected to open its doors late in 2013.

OTD in 2014—Crimes of “specist nature” up: Police

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Specist crime increasingCrimes of a “specist nature” are on the increase, according to a report compiled by Park Police.

The report, which was presented yesterday at an ad hoc meeting of the Department of Well-Being and Safety, was compiled by Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) and the Interspecial Investigations Unit (IIU). It includes raw crime statistics as well as an analysis of expressed attitudinal changes. The data cover the period between 2010 and 2013.

In a joint statement today, Cornelius Kakapo, the DWBS Director of Public Relations, Inspector Maurice Addax of the Specist and Hate Crimes Unit, and Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit called the report “alarming” and “a call to action.”

“We cannot afford to ignore what we are seeing,” Kakapo wrote in the statement, confirming that his department has noticed an uptick in the reports of danger and perceived danger to body and dwelling.

In a radio interview this morning, Inspector Addax concurred.

“For the first time since the establishment of zoocracy, the threat to our safety appears to be coming from within The Park and not from outside. The increasing hostility among our different species is most disturbing ,” he said.

OTD in 2016—Park Museum to present Holstein Fashion’s EDAM Collection

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Penguin in Holstein Fashion outfit

The Park Museum announced today that it is collaborating with Holstein Fashion to present the company’s EDAM Collection as part of a new exhibition.

In a post on the museum’s web site, the Board of Governors said Dorika Pumi, head curator of the museum’s art gallery, will work closely with Holstein Fashion and Designs by Holstein to present the fashion house’s creations “in context.”

Entitled, Creations from the EDAM Collection, the exhibition “will shine a light on the plight of those who experience enforced domestication,” the post says.

The designs of the EDAM Collection were commissioned exclusively for The Park’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month. The creations will be showcased with written commentary and the museum plans to invite experts in the field of enforced domestication, extinction anxiety, and interspecial relations to conduct seminars and Q & A sessions during the exhibition.

According to the web post, Creations from the EDAM Collection will open on August 1, 2016.

To read the full announcement, click here.

OTD in 2012—Hibernators blame calendar change for premature deaths

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With their friends neatly tucked in and enjoying a peaceful estivation, The Park’s hibernating communities have joined together to fight calendar harmonization, which they believe is at least partly responsible for the rise in deaths from premature awakening in their community.

“We wanted to wait until after the official estivation date to launch our fight,” said Oliver S.P. Franklin, head of the Confederation of Ground Squirrels (CGS) whose group initiated the action. “We didn’t want to alarm our friends or disturb their tranquility.”

Together, the hibernating groups plan to challenge the law known as “The Calendar Harmonization Act” in the hope of having it repealed.

“We’re confident that if we succeed in demonstrating the harm it [The Act] has done to our communities, the Archons will consider reinstating our original calendar,” Franklin says.

To that end, the hibernators have enlisted the help of a group of researchers and statisticians, including Dr. Jagger Zebu, Professor of Mammalian Medicine at the University of West Terrier and one of the authors of a recent report that documents the rise in the incidence of deaths due to premature awakening among The Park’s hibernating citizens.

Premature awakening from hibernation is defined by The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) as a situation in which an Animal awakens from hibernation 3-4 weeks before the official date. The situation results in death 99% of the time, as Animals are often unable to find adequate sustenance so early in the season.

According to the report, deaths from premature awakening have risen 30% in the last two years.

“Coincidentally, that is the same length of time the new calendar has been in operation,” says Cormac Nuttallii, a member of the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP) and a vocal critic of calendar harmonization. His group has joined forces with the other hibernating communities to “see that justice is served,” he says.

OTD in 2016—Where’s the comma? Ancient Open-Theatre rebrands itself for a new era

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AOATWhat’s in a comma?

More than you might realize, says the head of The Park’s oldest theatre.

In an interview with The Mammalian Daily this week, Carlota Tuatara, head of the Ancient Open-Air Theatre—or AOAT, as it will be known in some circles—explained the recent rebranding of The Park’s most revered venue.

“You might not think that it makes a difference, but it does, and it’s a huge difference,” Tuatara said. “That comma is redundant and never should have been put in the theatre’s name in the first place.”

Tuatara and her board of directors contend that the comma’s position after the word “ancient” is grammatically “archaic.”

“Many of us in The Park gave up separating adjectives with commas decades ago. We took some time with it because we didn’t want to shock our supporters. But the theatre is ancient and it doesn’t need archaic grammar to tell us that twice,” she said.

As for the theatre’s new logo, Tuatara says they looked for “simplicity above all.”

“This theatre was built to be functional and to last. We wanted a logo that said that loud and clear. ‘Here’s the stage. Here are the seats.’ We pored through thousands of submissions before we decided on the one that really spoke to us,” she said.

So, what else will be changing at the AOAT?

While Tuatara was coy about any further changes, she was effusive about the possibilities the future holds.

“We took this theatre from classic drama to the Toe-Hair Contest and huge, multi-artist concerts. We’ve done wonders over the years, making it relevant to the daily life of Park residents and we’re looking to build on that success in the future,” she said.

OTD in 2017—”The Park Before YOU:” Zoocracy 35 mega project aims to inspire youth with a year-long romp through Park history

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zoocracy-35What began as a casual conversation between two University of West Terrier professors has grown into a mega project that they hope will arouse curiosity in young Animals about The Park’s past and inspire them to think more deeply about their own rôle in its future.

Called “The Park Before YOU,” the project is the brainchild of historian Beatrice Zilonis and Domoina Fossa of the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education. The multi-faceted, multimedia project was developed with funding from the Archons’ Zoocracy 35 Grant Program.

Using audio, video, live theatre, stand-up comedy, and even a half-hour original musical, the project will trace life in The Park from its very beginnings to the present day.

“We want this to be a rich, multidimensional experience for the young,” Zilonis said in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning. “We want to pique their interest and nudge them in the direction of curiosity, instead of herding them into a classroom to hear a lecture on the wonder of Animal self-rule.”

Although the project had its impetus in that casual conversation more than a year ago, the idea had been brewing in the minds of both professors, after results of several studies indicated that The Park’s young lacked historical perspective and weren’t very interested in zoocracy or politics.

“Delia Quagga [head of the UWT Barnaby School of Government] did a study that showed Park citizens are not as politically savvy as in previous decades and we both thought we wanted to nip that in the bud,” Zilonis said in her radio interview. “The last thing we want is for that lack of interest to be passed down to the next generation.”

The Park Before YOU will run an entire year and talks about a permanent installation are underway with both The Park Museum and the University of West Terrier, Zilonis said.

Tomorrow night will mark the project’s beginning, with the screening at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre of a series of animated short films about Animal self-rule.

OTD in 2007—Research Cautions: Even Miaowgirls Get the Blues

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Even Miaowgirls get the blues.

That is the determination of six University of West Terrier researchers who have analyzed the results of the first phase of a three-part study of depression and its effects on Cats.

The study, entitled, “Depression in Cats: Even Miaowgirls Get the Blues,” was funded in part by The Catnip Company and is the first undertaking of its kind in the history of UWT’s School of Medicine.

“We are very excited about this study,” said Dr. Chloris Cougar, who heads the team of dedicated researchers.

“Until recently, we had to make do with second-hand information, most of which came from Human sources and did not, necessarily, reflect the realities of Feline life.”

The current study, she said, “gives us the opportunity to analyze data that pertain solely to Felines. This will enable us to understand the full effects of depression on our particular species.”

The UWT Researchers estimate that Feline depression accounts for a significant loss of productivity in The Park, as well as profound mental anguish and physical discomfort for the individuals involved.

In addition, Dr. Cougar believes that depression can cause or affect other illnesses in Cats.

“We have long suspected that depression has been, in part, the cause of other conditions that Cats presented with at our hospital and at Dr. Bourru’s office. We look forward to having the chance to test that hypothesis.”

To date, analysis of the first phase of the study has enabled the UWT team to isolate at least one distinct depressive syndrome in Cats, which it calls Feline Unipolar Depressive Disorder, or FUDD (see symptoms below).

“This is truly a breakthrough,” said Dr. Cougar, “Once we are able to recognize the symptoms of depression in Cats, we will be able to develop effective treatments for the disease. This study has given us all new hope.”

Results of the second and third phases of the study are expected to be published within the next three years.

_________________________________________

FUDD: The Symptoms

Physical symptoms include changes in appetite and sleep patterns, fatigue, and restlessness:

  • A large number of Cats reported being conscious more than half the day.
  • Most Cats reported a marked decrease in their interest in food.
  • Psychomotor activity changes include decreased incidence of and ability to knead, claw, climb, jump, spring, and pounce.
  • Researchers noted decreased speed in eye movements and claw retraction.
  • Mood symptoms include a reduced capacity to enjoy warmth and sunshine, as well as a generalized lack of interest in adult daily life.
  • Some Cats experienced a desire to return to the behaviour of kittenhood, and reported an increase in the desire to suckle.

OTD in 2016—Tavros-Tricolore war escalates as chef bars radio host from PurrBoy Café

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PurrBoy Logo (1)The war of words and deeds between Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros and celebrity chef Tab Tricolore continued today, with the news that the chef has officially barred Tavros from attending Thursday’s Charity Concert After-Party at his PurrBoy Café.

“I won’t let him in the door. I refuse to look at his face,” Tricolore said in a television interview this morning.

The problems between the two began a month ago, when Tavros publicly accused Tricolore of discrimination because he does not allow non-striped Animals at The Tabby Club. Tricolore responded by saying that Tavros was “all bluster” and he ignored his repeated calls to be allowed into the club, which was established by Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy.

But things turned nasty after Tricolore announced he would introduce his new drink, the “Liberation Libation,” at the Chitter Radio Literary Awards. Tricolore served the drink free of charge to Awards attendees but, as many chefs do, he kept the ingredients and the recipe a secret. Tavros then threatened to publicly “deconstruct” the drink, which he did with the aid of a drinks expert whom he invited to his show. For the past few days, Tavros has been tweeting the drink’s ingredients. And that was the last straw, according to those close to Tricolore.

“Tab can take a lot of personal criticism, but when it comes to his cooking or his business, he lays down the law,” says Tricolore’s former saucier, Barry “Béarnaise” Burmilla. “I’m not at all surprised that he’s barred Tavros from the PurrBoy.”

OTD in 2017—UWT greenlights “Paper Bag Project” to test Human intelligence, behaviour

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UWT COATThe University of West Terrier announced today that it has greenlit a new investigation into Human intelligence and behaviour that will be directed by Dr. Luule Aednik of the Department of Psychology‘s Cognitive and Experimental Psychology division.

The investigation, which will involve a team of researchers from both the Department of Psychology and the Department of Human Studies, will take place this Summer, during the height of the tourist season.

According to Dr. Aednik, researchers will be testing Humans’ ability to “think themselves out of a paper bag.” The investigation will employ more than a dozen graduate students, who will drop the bags over the heads of random Humans, as they walk through The Park. Cameras placed around The Park—in Tree branches, near ponds, outside theatres, and in picnic areas, will capture the Humans’ attempts to free themselves from the bags.

In a statement accompanying the announcement this morning, Dr. Aednik said he has no idea what the research will show.

“We come to this investigation without prejudice,” he wrote. “We have open minds and open hearts, and we will conduct the investigation with the utmost respect for the Human species.”

Data from the three-month investigation will be analyzed during the Winter, Dr. Aednik wrote, and he hopes to publish the results in the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB) next year.

OTD in 2015—The Park Museum presents…”The Wall”

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Dorika Pumi, curator at The Park Museum, has produced a simple yet powerful piece entitled, Pet Project: Monikers of Domestication to honour Enforced Domestication Awareness Month in The Park.

Pumi used one whole museum wall at the west side of the main building, as the backdrop for the video.

“There is no voiceover or commentary,” Pumi emphasizes. “The video speaks for itself.”

“The Wall,” as Pumi refers to it, will be on display at the museum until the end of the year.

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