The Mammalian Daily

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Pundits will take to radio to weigh in on new government

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Some of The Park’s best known political pundits will weigh in on our new government this coming Monday as guests of Toro Talk Radio host, Yannis Tavros.

Manfred Stier, a spokesanimal for the radio station, confirmed today that Yannis Tavros will relinquish his usual talk show format on January 30 to moderate a forum “about the future of The Park and the direction that the 2012 government will take.”

Invited forum guests will include Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy at the University of West Terrier, historian and author Pieter Paard, Professor Ludwiga Saimiri of the Cuthbert School of Journalism (UWT), Law Professor Fionnula L. Fox, and Gertrude C. Owl, Mammalian Daily senior political correspondent and Dean of UWT’s Cuthbert School of Journalism. Other participants include Ronald Grouse, chief political analyst at The Avian Messenger, Yuri Sturgeon of The Kaluga Register, and Camlin “Cayuga” Newt of The Salamander Evening Post.

The participants plan to discuss everything from the political and philosophical leanings of the 2012 Archons to the economy, immigration reform, currency amalgamation, and tourism.

“Nothing is off-limits in this discussion,” said Stier.

Newt becomes Chief Archon

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newtFor the first time in Park history, a semi-aquatic Animal was sworn in as Chief Archon of The Park’s 2012 government.

In a moving ceremony held this morning at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre, George Irving Nathan Gallagher Newt took the oath of office as Chief Archon in front of a crowd of thousands.

“This is a historic day,” said Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon, who presided over the event and administered the oath of office to all 35 Animals who will serve as Archons this year. “We should all be proud to be Park citizens.”

While thousands of Animals braved the bitter cold to attend the ceremony at the Theatre, an estimated 700,000 others watched the political process play out from the comfort of their own dwellings. The Park Broadcasting Corporation (PBC), which holds exclusive rights to the swearing-in ceremony, dedicated its entire morning programming schedule to the event.

“We believe strongly in the Zoocratic process and we are proud and honoured to have a part in it,” said a statement released yesterday by PBC Executives.

Among those in attendance at the event were representatives of all The Park’s Citizen Aid and Action Associations, including proxy representatives of The Park’s many hibernating communities.

As 2011 Archons’ term ends, talk of elections begins anew

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Will we be using ballot boxes to choose Archons in the near future?

With little more than a week to go before the 2012 Archons are sworn into office, talk has begun anew of instituting direct elections to choose the 35 Animals who form The Park’s government each year.

The Mammalian Daily has learned that, as one of their final acts, the 2011 Archons have struck a special committee to investigate the feasibility of using the ballot box to choose Archons. The committee’s report is due in the second half of this year and will be presented to the 2012 Archons before the end of their term.

The incoming Archons (and all others who have served throughout the 30 years since Zoocracy was established) were selected by the process of sortition.  Also known as the “allotment” or “lottery” method, this is the system that was put in place by Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy.

Proposals for change in the Archon selection process have been made for over a decade. Any movement toward direct elections has been blocked, however, by those who believe that this method leads to favoritism and can result in representation that is not balanced.

“Sortition allows for a balance of species in the Archon mix,” says Sylvana Rana, of the anti-election group, Save Our Political System (SOPS). “Direct elections can become a personality contest and the result could be the loss of adequate representation of many species.”

Those who favour elections, however, are quick to point out that the current system already yields a government in which some species of Animals are underrepresented.

“Thirty-five Animals cannot hope to represent The Park’s population in a balanced way,” says Antoine Lézard, a longtime Park resident who says he thinks direct elections might bring more fairness to government.

“Already there are too many Mammals among the Archons. They draw lots from six basic Animal groups, but the majority of the extra [five] Archons always seem to be Mammals.”

The names of those who were chosen to serve as Archons for 2012 will be announced on January 15. The swearing-in ceremony will occur at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre the following day.

Police call for calm after specist handbook discovered in Park

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The Archons of The Park, in conjunction with the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) have issued a call for calm throughout The Park after the discovery of what appears to be a specist handbook.

The book, which was discovered under the Ancient Oak Tree early this morning, is written in the Human English language, experts say. Language specialists at the University of West Terrier are currently studying the book and its contents. In a statement issued at midday, they said they plan to make a full report to the Archons as soon as they have completed their study.

The book was discovered by Rodnina Owl, police confirmed. The Owl was reportedly eating a snack in the Tree, when she noticed something shiny at the base.

“The glossy cover caught my eye and I swooped down to see what it was,” she said in an interview on PBC  Radio late this morning. “I was shocked when they told me what it said.” The Owl does not speak any Human languages.

In their appeal for calm, the Archons emphasized the need for patience on the part of Park Animals.

Two hours after the Archons issued their appeal, Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons, fielded questions from residents and media. The major concerns were for Animal security, with many calling for barricades and some suggesting pre-emptive strikes. Calls for an all-out war, fuelled by rumours that Humans intend to take over The Park, were quickly dismissed by FCSW President, Gareth Shepherd.

“We cannot afford to react until we know the full extent of the assault,” said Shepherd.

Book Review: Shaken But Not Stirred

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When violence broke out between Park Police and protesters at an otherwise peaceful anti-amalgamation rally in August, many Animals (both in attendance and at home) assumed that The Park’s court system would deal with the fallout. After an open investigation into the matter, which relatively few Animals attended and which was only covered superficially by Park media, the event receded into memory. Never mind that one Goose was killed and several others were injured at the event; there was The Park’s film festival to attend and hibernation preparations to be made, among other (seemingly more important) things.

Contrast this with the intense reaction to the murder of the Tartan Crab, the Groundhog Day violence, and the Mongoose weather trial and you might think you see a growing trend toward apathy among Park residents.

That is, in fact, what is happening, says veteran psychoanalyst Dr. Berthilidis Strix, who is best known as co-author of the book, The Silent Cluck.

In her new book, Shaken But Not Stirred, Strix discusses the two distinct lines that she sees forming in The Park: growing prosperity alongside growing apathy. In Strix’s view, it is at the point at which these lines intersect that they become a threat to our way of life.

Unlike many analysts, Strix believes that these two seemingly independent streams feed each other and that, in fact, our growing apathy is responsible, in part, for our growing prosperity:

“Without this new-found ability to ignore the plight of others, it would be next to impossible for us, in good conscience, to amass these great quantities [of food and other material goods]…and, now, the pursuit of same has become the foundation of our growing economy.”

Strix is highly critical of what she calls this “new division of consciousness” and warns that unchecked apathy will have dire consequences for Park Animals in the future.

“We need only look to other species to see the end result [of apathy]”, she writes.

While Strix emphasizes in Shaken But Not Stirred that she can offer no solutions, one suspects that these may appear before long in a follow-up book. Her insights are far too important to serve only as philosophical fodder.

Skunk’s candidacy raises stink at POPS debate

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POPS candidate Zachariah Skunk

Zachariah Skunk caused a stink last night when he took his place among the other candidates at the annual POPS all-candidates’ debate.

Because he announced his candidacy for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) at the last minute, The Park’s Election Office had not had the opportunity to inform the other four contenders, who stood in amazement as the Skunk’s name was called.

“This is an outrage,” said Malinda L. Hamster, President of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC).

The Hamster did not elaborate, leaving spectators to wonder whether the “outrage” was the Skunk’s last-minute candidacy or his species.

According to rules that were put in place in 23 AZ (2003), subsequent to a the decision of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon in the landmark case of “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” vs the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog, all species of Animals are eligible to enter the race to become Park Official Prognosticator of Spring. To date, however, only Animals belonging to the species Marmota monax have put their names forward.

The POPS election occurs today, ten days before the official date of hibernation. Aside from Zachariah Skunk, candidates for 2012 POPs are W. Chester Whistlepig, Alderina Woodchuck, Ingersoll Marmot, and Ulrica Gilda Groundhog.

Third edition of Zoocracy guide hits shelves this week

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This new guide to our government will prove useful to newcomers and established residents alike.

The third edition of Anticipatory Zoocracy For All, a simple and informative guide to the principles of our form of government, has arrived in bookstores throughout The Park.

This updated edition includes information on the most recent decisions made by the current set of  Archons, including those involving calendar harmonization. A separate section on the currency amalgamation debate will prove valuable to newcomers as well as to those who have not followed the debate closely over the last several years.

Several copies of the guide, which sells for 13.50 Ftoo per copy, will be made available in The Park Library, said a spokesAnimal for the publishers, Birch Bark Books.  In addition, the publishers have committed to providing copies to the libraries of The Park’s institutions of higher learning.

Splinter group to stage currency-related protest this weekend

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Mammalian Daily Associated News Services (MDANS) is reporting that some former members of the Association for the Preservation of Individual Currencies (APIC) have disassociated themselves from APIC and created a splinter group to fight currency amalgamation in The Park.

The group, ninety per cent of whose members are Geese, calls itself “Fowl Cry” and plans to stage a two-day protest against currency unification this weekend.

In a statement distributed to all Park media, the group excoriated APIC as a “do-nothing” organization and its current President, Rowena Goose, as a “stand-by and watch” official.

“At a time when it is most important to take action, she [Rowena Goose] has adopted a ‘wait and see’ attitude,” the statement said.  The group has also accused the Goose of feathering her own nest by hoarding the dominant currency (Ftoo), while leaving the rest of Park citizens to fend for themselves.

APIC released a counter-statement early this morning, defending its record and touting its success in staving off currency amalgamation, which has been on the table in The Park for more than seven years. The group did not address the charges that Fowl Cry made against its President, nor has Rowena Goose yet stepped forward to dispute them.

Park Police say they have called in reinforcements in order to keep peace in The Park during the demonstration.

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