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On This Day—December 5, 2016: Blandine Okapi: “Sortition gives us a coalition of the unwilling and unable.”

December 5, 2023 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Blandine OkapiFormer Archon Transition Team (ATT) member Blandine Okapi is taking some heat for her most recent remarks about sortition and the annual selection of government in The Park.

In an op-ed piece published in The Ruminant Free Press yesterday, Okapi calls the process of sortition, which has been the only method used to select The Park’s 35 Archons, “a ridiculous idea” and says bluntly, “All it does is give us a coalition of the unwilling and unable.”

Okapi, who quit the ATT two years ago in order to work with the Coalition Against Sortition in The Park (CASP), claims she is drawing from her experience in politics and government when she says that sortition is “keeping The Park in a state of inertia.”

“As we look forward this year to celebrating the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy, we have to ask ourselves what we’ve accomplished here,” she writes. “If our goal was to mature as a Park and to be the model for Animal self-government everywhere, I would say we have failed miserably.”

Reaction to Okapi’s scathing criticism has been swift. At a joint press conference this morning, 2014 Chief Archon Buckminster Moose and Sylvana Rana, president of  Save Our Political System (SOPS), countered her arguments, saying that sortition is the best method available to ensure fair and equitable representation in government.

Former Chief Archon Moose went on to speak of his experience in governing The Park:

“I unequivocally dispute Okapi’s portrait of the members of our governments as being either unable or unwilling or both. During my term as Chief Archon, I worked with some of the most able Animals I have ever met and every one of them was one hundred percent committed to zoocracy and to the values that Jor stood for,” he said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: animal self-rule, sortition, zoocracy

Winter Solstice 2021: A warm welcome to Winter and a celebration of life in The Park

December 20, 2021 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

The biggest bash of the year is about to begin.

The 2021 Celebration of the Winter Solstice kicks off at exactly 10:49 tomorrow, December 21, and will continue on, officially, until 3:00 in the morning on December 22.

“This will be a very special celebration…one of a kind and definitely one that we’ll remember for a long time,” director of public relations Aintza Kanariar said today, as she announced the official schedule as per the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

This year’s festival, Kanariar said, marks the beginning of the end of the Human Crisis. At least, that’s what we all hope.

“We deliberated on it a long time and we decided that we owed it to The Park as a whole to make an attempt to return to normal. Last year, it was inevitable that the Human Crisis would affect our plans. But this year, we’re feeling a very strong need to return to our own lives and our own concerns.”

That theme of return will be evident in the day’s festivities, Kanariar said. “You will see it weave through the entire day, through the music, the dances, the plays, even the food.” In fact, the programme for the event will even include the reading of passages from “George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King,” Yoshita Tigru’s bestselling biography of The Park’s first leader.

Another highlight of this year’s event will be the return of a performance piece called, “Ελευθερία (Eleftheria),” which was a 2017 collaborative effort of the Herman Stoat Dance Company and the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company. Conceived and executed as a celebration of Zoocracy35, the 20-minute performance combines music, dance, pantomime, gymnastics, poetry, and rap.

Also on the schedule is the screening of a special video that was made by renowned actress Millicent Hayberry and Hieronymous Hedgehog, both of whom are currently in hibernation. The video waxes lyrical about zoocracy and Park life, according to those who have seen it.

Other highlights of the celebration include:

  • Jugglers, clowns, and three Human imitators will provide entertainment throughout the celebration
  • Students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be providing free tail-painting and whisker-twisting for young participants
  • Costume dress-up events will be hosted hourly by the Park Historical Society
  • Storytelling
  • Harmonious Hannah and Humphrey will be on hand for selfies throughout the festivities

This partial list of Park music makers who will perform appears below in order of appearance. Kanariar would not confirm rumours that Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Rotte will join the All Rodent Marching Band in a celebration of the involvement of The Park’s Rodent community in zoocracy.

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
Persistent Sisters
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
BHR (Big Hearts Rule) formerly NIML (Not In My Lifetime)
Fish Rap

As ever, a major component of the celebration will be the food. This year, celebrity chef Tab Tricolore will be preparing “food of the feral world” on site at a “feral buffet,” as well as supplying non-perishables from his newly-opened restaurant grassRoutes.  Other food purveyors include The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will be once again be serving a full breakfast just after the solstice occurs. Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at 9:48 a.m. (two hours after sunrise) on December 21. Food will be served throughout the event. The Solstice will occur at 10:49 a.m. Local Park Time (LPT).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, sortition, winter solstice

Winter Solstice 2017: A warm welcome to Winter and a celebration of life in The Park

December 21, 2017 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

The biggest bash of the year is about to begin.

The 2017 Celebration of the Winter Solstice kicks off at sunrise—7:48 to be exact—and will continue on, officially, until 3:00 in the morning on December 22.

“This will be a special celebration…one of a kind and definitely one to remember,” director of public relations Aintza Kanariar said yesterday, as she announced the official schedule as per the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

This year’s festival will have two themes: the celebration of the Winter Solstice and the celebration of Animal self-rule.

“We deliberated on it a long time but we decided that celebrating Animal self-rule was worth breaking rules for,” Kanariar said, referring to longstanding regulations that prohibit anything political to be a part of the annual celebration.

In fact, Kanariar confirmed, the programme for the event will even include the reading of passages from “George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King,” Yoshita Tigru’s bestselling biography of The Park’s first leader.

A highlight of this year’s event will be a performance piece called, “Ελευθερία (Eleftheria).” The piece is a collaborative effort of the Herman Stoat Dance Company and the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company. A celebration of Zoocracy35, the 20-minute performance combines music, dance, pantomime, gymnastics, poetry, and rap.

Also on the schedule is the screening of a special video by renowned actress Millicent Hayberry, who is currently in hibernation. She left the video, in which she reportedly waxes lyrical about zoocracy and Park life, with the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations before going into hibernation.

Other highlights of the celebration include:

  • Jugglers, clowns, and three Human imitators will provide entertainment throughout the celebration
  • Students from the Hani Gajah School of Art will be providing free tail-painting and whisker-twisting for young participants
  • Costume dress-up events will be hosted hourly by the Park Historical Society
  • Storytelling
  • Harmonious Hannah and Humphrey will be on hand for selfies throughout the festivities

The list of Park music makers who will perform appears below in order of appearance. Kanariar would not confirm rumours that Rodent Commoner reporter Gunnar Rotte will join the All Rodent Marching Band in a celebration of the involvement of The Park’s Rodent community in zoocracy.

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
Persistent Sisters
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
BHR (Big Hearts Rule) formerly NIML (Not In My Lifetime)
Fish Rap

As ever, a major component of the celebration will be the food. This year, celebrity chef Tab Tricolore will be preparing “food of the feral world” on site at a “feral buffet,” as well as supplying non-perishables from his newly-opened restaurant grassRoutes.  Other food purveyors include The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will be once again be serving a full breakfast just after the solstice occurs. Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

The Celebration of the Winter Solstice begins at 7:48 a.m. (sunrise) on December 21. Food will be served throughout the event. The Solstice will occur at 11:48 a.m. Local Park Time (LPT).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, sortition, winter solstice

“The Park Before YOU:” Zoocracy 35 mega project aims to inspire youth with a year-long romp through Park history

June 30, 2017 By Nienke Varken, TMD Education Reporter

zoocracy-35What began as a casual conversation between two University of West Terrier professors has grown into a mega project that they hope will arouse curiosity in young Animals about The Park’s past and inspire them to think more deeply about their own rôle in its future.

Called “The Park Before YOU,” the project is the brainchild of historian Beatrice Zilonis and Domoina Fossa of the F. Varrah Flanagan School of Education. The multi-faceted, multimedia project was developed with funding from the Archons’ Zoocracy 35 Grant Program.

Using audio, video, live theatre, stand-up comedy, and even a half-hour original musical, the project will trace life in The Park from its very beginnings to the present day.

“We want this to be a rich, multidimensional experience for the young,” Zilonis said in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this morning. “We want to pique their interest and nudge them in the direction of curiosity, instead of herding them into a classroom to hear a lecture on the wonder of Animal self-rule.”

Although the project had its impetus in that casual conversation more than a year ago, the idea had been brewing in the minds of both professors, after results of several studies indicated that The Park’s young lacked historical perspective and weren’t very interested in zoocracy or politics.

“Delia Quagga [head of the UWT Barnaby School of Government] did a study that showed Park citizens are not as politically savvy as in previous decades and we both thought we wanted to nip that in the bud,” Zilonis said in her radio interview. “The last thing we want is for that lack of interest to be passed down to the next generation.”

The Park Before YOU will run an entire year and talks about a permanent installation are underway with both The Park Museum and the University of West Terrier, Zilonis said.

Tomorrow night will mark the project’s beginning, with the screening at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre of a series of animated short films about Animal self-rule.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Media, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #1000articles, animal self-rule, Park history, politics, the park before you, zoocracy

Holstein Fashion plans June launch of scent to support EDAM, EQUALSS

June 9, 2017 By Bergrún Íkorna, TMD Business Reporter

grazecroppedHolstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein, will continue its charitable work this year by launching a new scent, GRAZE, that will benefit enforced domestication awareness (EDAM) as well as the company’s own charity, EQUALSS.

A statement released this morning by company president and CEO Balbina Ko included an invitation to all Park residents to the June 15 launch party at the Reek-O-Rama.

“Please join us to celebrate the strides we’ve made in enforced domestication awareness and in achieving equality among the species, especially the striped and spotted,” the invitation reads.

In the statement, Ko describes the scent as having “notes of grass, fresh rain, and clotted earth, combined in such a way as to be reminiscent of peaceful Summer days away from the hustle and bustle of daily life.”

While the scent will be the star of the launch party, the celebration of equality and Animal self-rule will be the theme, Ko told The Mammalian Daily. All attendees will receive a sample of the scent and all proceeds from its sale in June and July will go to enforced domestication awareness. After that, the proceeds will be split between EDAM and Holstein Fashion’s own charity, EQUALSS, which supports equality for the striped and spotted.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM), Park Life Tagged With: animal self-rule, charity, EDAM, equality, holstein fashion, Reek 'O Rama, striped and spotted

Archons, DWBS condemn “Cultivate Cuteness” campaign

March 16, 2017 By Thaddeus S. Loris, TMD Health and Safety Reporter

cuteness-postersThe Archons of The Park, in conjunction with the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS) have issued a warning about a new campaign that has taken hold in The Park.

At a press conference early this morning, Balthasar Alouatta, spokesAnimal for the Archons, and Cornelius Kakapo, DWBS Director of Public Relations, condemned “in no uncertain terms” the campaign that advises Park Animals to “cultivate cuteness” in order to make themselves attractive to Humans.

“No matter what challenges we face in The Park, selling ourselves to Humans is not the solution,” Alouatta said. “We condemn in no uncertain terms this campaign that undermines our efforts to bring about fairness and equality for all. We are committed to Animal self-rule and we will not back down from it, even in the face of economic challenges and interspecial disharmony.”

The DWBS also had a warning for the campaign’s organizers:

“We will remain vigilant against your anti-zoocratic efforts and we will not hesitate to prosecute should any of The Park’s laws be broken,” Kakapo said.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, Whoa! Braking News Tagged With: animal self-rule, anti-zoocratic campaign, enforced domestication awareness, interspecial harmony, zoocracy

Tavros scores interview coup with zoocracy founder’s biographer

February 7, 2017 By TMD Books Reporter

3d-tabby-king-1Yannis Tavros has scored a major media coup by booking an exclusive, pre-publication interview with the author of a new biography of The Park’s first leader.

Yoshita Tigru will join Tavros on his Toro Talk Radio show on Friday, February 10, to discuss her book, George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert: The Tabby King. Four days later, The Park will celebrate the anniversary of Jor’s birth.

In the new biography, which is bound to spark controversy when it hits the shelves on February 15, Tigru claims that The Park’s revered first leader considered establishing a form of monarchy before he fixed on the idea of  zoocracy, or complete Animal self-rule.

Tigru, who was allowed full access to all the extant papers of George Livingstone Barnaby Cuthbert (Jor), including the entirety of his sister’s diary, The AutoZOËography of ZoëCat, cites his sister as a “major force” behind both his political aspirations and his political decisions.

“There is no doubt that her rôle went far beyond that of a sounding board or even an advisor,” Tigru has said in the past.

This view aligns with that of another of Jor’s biographers, Daphne D.S. Katze, whose 2014 book, Jor: The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Cat, claims that it was Jor’s sister who turned his attention away from “simple Feline pleasures” to the idea of promoting harmony among the species in The Park.

Katze, who had only limited access to Zoë’s historical tome, has said recently that she was envious of Tigru’s unfettered access, but would “absolutely” trust her interpretation of what she read.

Free tickets to Tigru’s February 26 book launch are available at The Literary Apothecary. The launch will begin with a short reading at two o’clock, followed by a Q&A session and paw printing.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, interview, Jor biography, media coup, sortition, The Tabby King, Toro Talk Radio, Yannis Tavros, Yoshita Tigru, zoocracy

PMoCA’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” installation opens to record crowds

January 21, 2017 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

pmoca-1The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s first exhibition in honour of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary opened to record crowds yesterday.

According to PMoCA officials, “ARCHONOGRAPHY” broke attendance records dating back to the opening of the museum, itself.

“We were stunned,” said Aulikki Norsu, president of the museum’s board of directors, in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio this afternoon.

“We were there until the wee hours of the morning getting everything ready, and when we left to go home, we saw the lineup to get in had already started.”

That was at three in the morning. By the time Norsu returned to open the installation, the line wound five times around the building. It has stayed that long ever since.

The art installation, which the museum describes as “ultra-live,” honours those who’ve served as Archons over the past thirty-five years. Every day until March 31, Park artists will be on-site twelve hours a day to paint portraits of museum-goers’ chosen Archons. All the portraits painted during the installation will hang in the museum until the end of this year.

Head curator Aamuun Maroodiga chose renowned autochthonous artist Hervé Huard, slow artist Fionn-Fionnoula T. Snail, merging artist Hugh Danlami Biri, and Clementina Araña to open the installation. At the time of publication, the group had completed sixteen portraits of past Archons.


The Park Museum of Contemporary Art’s “ARCHONOGRAPHY” runs from January 20-March 31, 2017. Admission to the event is free. 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, artists, portraits of Archons, sortition, Zoocracy 35

Archons unveil logo of “Zoocracy 35”

December 26, 2016 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

zoocracy-35The 2016 Archons and the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations (DHFC) have unveiled the official logo of this year’s celebration of the founding of zoocracy in The Park.

At a press event this morning, DHFC director of public relations Aintza Kanariar introduced Chief Archon Raymond Mink, who spoke for a few minutes about Park history and the struggle for Animal self-rule. Then, assisted by his fellow Archons, he pulled the cover off a picture of the official logo.

Commissioned for the occasion by the 2014 Archons, the logo was designed and produced by slow artist Heike Slak, whose painting, “Beacon,” hangs in the Park Museum of Contemporary Art (PMoCA).

The year-long celebration in The Park, which will begin on 1 January 2017, will be called “Zoocracy 35,” Mink told the press.  Slak’s “Zoocracy 35” logo features Animals of different species standing together above the words “Zoocracy/35/1982-2017.”

Slak, who spoke briefly at the unveiling, answered reporters’ questions about his colour choices for the logo.

“In many ways, I believe my choices regarding colour make the logo accessible to all,” Slak said. “The use of green, of course, symbolizes The Park. And gold seemed like the best colour to portray the value of Park life.”

Chief Archon Mink said the logo would appear on all official Archon correspondence, as well as on all Park letterhead, and announcements about Zoocracy 35 events. In addition, he confirmed that Park shops would be selling official Zoocracy 35 merchandise, including clothing, bowls, sportswear, and collectibles. A portion of all proceeds will go to a special Zoocracy 35 Fund, which will support The Park’s most needy residents.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: animal self-rule, Park life, Zoocracy 35

Winter Solstice celebration unofficial kick-off to zoocracy’s 35th birthday bash

December 14, 2016 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Next week’s celebration of the Winter Solstice will not only be spectacular, it will be “a taste of things to come,” according to Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

In fact, the annual Winter festival will be the “unofficial kick-off” to The Park’s year-long celebration of the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy.

The “totality of Park life” will be celebrated in 2017, not just Animal self-rule, Kanariar told reporters at a press conference yesterday.

“Every aspect of our culture, our politics, and our life here will be represented in our 2017 celebrations,” she said. “It will be a chance for all of us to come together and acknowledge this great thing that we have accomplished in The Park.”

And, should you feel a case of Non-Hibernators’ guilt coming on, Kanariar was quick to assure that “every Animal’s species and way of life will be recognized” and every Animal will have a chance to attend the many events planned for 2017.

As for the Winter Solstice, Kanariar said the full schedule will be released on the weekend.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: 35th anniversary, animal self-rule, sortition, Winter Solstice celebration, zoocracy

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