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PASS: we’ll defy any law that stops us from doing business with Humans

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penguin waiterThe Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS) sent a strong message to the Archons today: no law will stop its members from doing business with Humans.

At a press conference this morning, PASS President Wellington Whistlepig said his membership voted unanimously on Monday to defy any legislation brought forth by the Archons that would restrict Park Animals’ right to trade with Humans.

“Let’s be clear,” Whistlepig said. “There is no wiggle room here. Our membership cannot afford to pick and choose its customers. This is not about liking Humans or having any personal relationships with them. This is about the livelihood of our members.”

Asked why PASS members voted on an issue that is little more than a rumour at this point, Whistlepig was forthright.

“We felt we needed to get ahead of this, to let the Archons know where we stand on this issue and how we feel about the direction in which they seem to be heading. This is about our members’ very survival and, we believe, about the economic independence of The Park.”

 

Archons hunt for new Finance Office head to defund tourism, trade: rumour

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3280_smiled_wolf_business_man_holding_cashPark Finance Office (PFO) head Valentina Abeja’s days may be numbered.

According to a post on the gossip site headsNtales, Chief Archon Klarissa Kuttu is “not pleased” with some of the terms of Abeja’s past budgets.

In the post dated today, the site’s co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo quotes a conversation she claims to have had with a Park Finance Office employee, who says that Abeja has been under pressure since January to produce a budget that will defund tourism and extra-hortulanial trade (trade with those living outside The Park).

According to Guacamayo’s source, Abeja has resisted, even though she herself reduced the funding for both in her last budget.

“Abeja does not believe in isolating The Park,” Guacamayo says the source told her. But her resistance may prove futile because, according to the source, Kuttu has begun a search for a new PFO head who will follow her orders.

If these rumours are true, this will be the first time in Park history that a Chief Archon has interfered with a budget prior to its release. It’s been customary for the PFO head to prepare a budget and then for the Archons en masse to approve it, to request changes, or to send it back.

According to Park historian and professor Beatrice Zilonis, this action, if true, is unprecedented. And dangerous.

“We have never seen so much direct contact with the PFO head prior to a budget,” she told The Mammalian Daily.

Zilonis says that while there has always been some tension between the PFO head and the Archons, the Archons have never given direct orders to the PFO.

“It’s unheard of,” she said. “Since it’s the Archons who’ve appointed the PFO head, they’ve usually been on the same page. The budget has always been tweaked, either because of the Archons’ desires or the citizens’, but never at this stage. If this is true, this constitutes overreach on the part of the Archons, in my opinion,” she said.

POPS election overshadowed most important citizen responsibility: DPA

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Dog submitting form for ArchonshipWe know you’re out there. We just can’t find your form.

That’s the message the Department of Political Administration (DPA) sent today when it announced an extension of the deadline for Park citizens to confirm their eligibility to stand as candidates for Archon.

In an announcement released across all Park media, the DPA invited Park citizens to take their responsibilities “as seriously as we do:”

“The department wishes to remind all adult Park citizens that, by law, they must confirm their eligibility to stand as candidates for Archon. We know you take this responsibility as seriously as we do and for this reason we are extending the deadline to complete your confirmation of eligibility. The new deadline will be 11:59 p.m. on November 30.”

According to the DPA, only forty-five per cent of Park citizens have submitted their eligibility forms. The department doesn’t see this as neglect or protest, however. Rather, it places the blame on the distraction of last week’s POPS election.

In an interview on TMD Radio this morning, DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said she believed the POPS election was the “biggest distraction The Park has ever seen.”

“Between the record number of candidates and the non-stop coverage of them, I don’t know how Park citizens could have been thinking of anything else,” she said.

But now, it’s time to focus and do your duty, Fourmi said, as she gently reminded Park citizens that failure to do so could result in a charge of “Cease to Care,” an offence under The Park’s Participation Act that involves the deliberate withholding of one’s name as a candidate for the position of Archon.

“We certainly don’t like to take this last step, but we’ve been forced to do so in the past, and we will do so again, if necessary,” she said.

POPS populi? SOPS’s Rana makes her case against elections in The Park

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no-voteOne of The Park’s largest political action groups has launched a campaign against holding elections in The Park.

In an op-ed piece published today in The Mantella Morning Post, Sylvana Rana, president of Save Our Political System (SOPS), writes that the recent POPS election campaign has demonstrated “how devastating general elections in The Park would be.”

Among Rana’s arguments against elections, she lists the candidates’ pandering to the electorate, something she says could lead to the winner being the most popular rather than the most qualified.

“The persistent pandering we see from so many of the POPS candidates would be even more devastating to The Park were this to occur during an election for our Archons. Before long, the Archonship would be a position won by personality, style, species, or other attributes that have nothing to do with ability or qualification. And how far down the road would we have to go before the candidates were caught making offers to the voters? Bribery is only a few steps away when this type of election is held,” she writes.

In the op-ed piece, Rana also contends that elections, rather than the present system of sortition, would change the dynamic of the governing body.

“I believe that elected Archons would make only a minimal commitment to the position,” she writes.

“Based on what I’ve seen of the POPS elections and of those held in the Human world, I believe the winners would be much less inclined to do the difficult work of governing. Our present system of selection requires a commitment—driven by a sense of duty— that has become one of the biggest reasons for the success of zoocracy.”

Is “long haul” government the way of the future? New political group says yes

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Park ArchonsAre longer terms for The Park’s thirty-five Archons the solution to our current governmental stagnation?

A newly-formed political group thinks so.

The organization, which calls itself, “Park Citizens for Long Haul Government (PCLHG) released its first statement of principles and objectives today. And one of its most notable objectives is to change the length of Archons’ terms.

“We advocate lengthening the term of Archonship from one year to three to five years,” the statement says.

According to the group’s president, Stéphanie Musaraigne, the bold move would enable Archons to make a “full commitment” to governing over the long haul, instead of concentrating on short term goals and things that can be achieved within the one year mandate.

While the PCLHG’s statement stopped short of criticizing sortition, the current method of selecting Archons, it did imply that while the lottery method ensures a degree of fairness, it brings with it a certain amount of instability.

“There are many problems with sortition, which a Park of varied species and lifespans must address,” the statement said.

The PCLHG plans to hold a press conference later this week to further outline its objectives.

Department of Political Administration confirms Gourami Archonship in dispute

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Form 15C

Form 15C (above), filed yesterday to dispute selection of Zafran Gourami

The Department of Political Administration (DPA) confirmed today that it is reviewing the selection of 2016 Archon Zafran Gourami.

In a statement issued this morning, DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said that one Form 15C was submitted yesterday. The department’s statement did not name the Animal who submitted the form.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XIII, of The Park’s Constitution, Park citizens who wish to contest the selection of any Archon or Archons may do so by submitting a formal contest form (Form 15C) to the Department of Political Administration by January 31.

Although this law has existed since the institution of #sortition, very few Form 15Cs have been submitted. In an interview this morning on the Yannis Tavros show, Fourmi said that in the past ten years, the DPA has received only seven Form 15Cs.

“And, of those, only one resulted in a change of Archon,” she said.

Zafran Gourami was sworn in as Archon on January 16, 2016. The reasons for the dispute will be reviewed by a panel that will include members of the DPA, Chief Archon Raymond H. Mink and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. The final decision will be rendered by a majority vote. Should a reason be found to replace Gourami, that replacement will be sworn in on February 1.

Just(ice) what was said: Augustus Dindon presides over his seventeenth swearing-in ceremony

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Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon

Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon swore in the 2016 Archons on Saturday

With a nod to the stability that tradition affords, the swearing-in ceremony of the 2016 Archons was presided over by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court. This was the seventeenth consecutive swearing-in ceremony over which Justice Dindon has presided.

Wearing traditional judicial garb, The Park’s most notorious magistrate asked each of the 35 new Archons to swear to “represent to the best of my ability and without prejudice the citizens and residents of The Park,” and to “preserve the tenets of zoocracy as laid out by Jor, the founder of modern zoocracy and The Park’s first leader.”

As each swore to uphold zoocracy in The Park, a member of the Endeka Elephant Band struck a drum. After the final oath was taken, the Archons were paraded in front of the crowd, which was the largest that this event has attracted.

Afterwards, the Archons, along with Mr. Justice Dindon and a host of other dignitaries, including many former Archons and Chief Archons, retired indoors for a celebratory repast.

As usual, the Archons will give their first address on Groundhog Day.

TMD, Avian Messenger snag outgoing Chief Archon’s only exit interview

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Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo (Chief Archon)

Chief Archon Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo’s term ends on January 16, 2016

The Mammalian Daily and The Avian Messenger have secured the only interview that outgoing Chief Archon Abayomi Tanishia Cuckoo intends to give.

The joint interview was announced in a statement issued simultaneously by both newspapers and by Balthasar Alouatta, press secretary to the Archons. It will take place tomorrow morning at ten o’clock in the Chief Archon’s office. The 2016 Archons will be sworn in on Saturday, January 16.

Chief Archon Cuckoo is expected to discuss the changes she has witnessed in The Park, the future of zoocracy, and what she believes her legacy will be. The Mammalian Daily and The Avian Messenger will each send two political reporters to the interview.

Let’s review: Sortition

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As the 2015 Archons prepare to relinquish their titles, let’s review the process by which The Park chooses its annual government:

Focus on: Sortition

January is the most important month in the political life of The Park. It is the month during which, every year, 35 Animals are selected and sworn in to serve as The Park’s leaders, or Archons. Together, these Archons will establish policies that will affect the lives of all who live in The Park.

Today, we focus on sortition, the process by which The Park’s Archons are selected.

ORIGIN
The Park’s 35 Archons are selected each year by a process known as sortition or the lottery or allotment method. This was the system put into place by Jor, The Park’s first leader and the founder of modern zoocracy.

Sortition has its origins in some of the oldest Human societies. After completing an exhaustive study of ancient Human political systems, Jor concluded that the basic tenets of zoocracy would best be maintained through the use of sortition rather than by direct elections. With the assistance of a panel of consultants, Jor made modifications to some of the original rules of sortition and crafted the system that has been in continuous use since the establishment of zoocracy.

METHODOLOGY
The first step in the selection of Archons requires the cooperation of The Park’s citizens. By the end of October each year, all adult Park citizens are required to submit and confirm their names. Traditionally, all Animal names have included some reference to species. Third, fourth, and later generations may choose to drop this reference in their names, but some indication of species is required when Animals make their submission to stand as candidates for Archon to the Department of Political Administration (DPA). Illness constitutes the only exception to this rule. Animals who are ill and who believe they would be unable to fulfil their duties as Archon due to their illness are required to advise the DPA of their circumstances by submitting a Form 12.

On January 5 every year, these submitted names are divided into six groups, according to six Animal classes. These classes are: Amphibians, Birds, Fishes, Invertebrates, Mammals, and Reptiles. The names are then inscribed on cards and placed in one of six opaque boxes, according to Animal class. Each of the six boxes is shaken three times by three different members of the Department of Political Administration.

FINAL SELECTION
The final selection of Archons is made by seven Department of Political Administration staff members. The staff members must have been in the employ of the department for at least five years and have no record of criminal activity. The chosen staff members are required to swear an oath of “honest and impartial fulfillment of the task” and to sign a declaration of the same in front of two witnesses. Six of the staff members are blindfolded and asked to reach into each opaque box and to pull out one card from the box. This is done a total of five times to ensure that there are 30 Archons chosen and that each of the six Animal classes is represented by five Archons.

WILD CARD SPOTS
The cards that remain are placed together in one box and shaken three times more. The seventh staff member, blindfolded, chooses five more cards. These are the five “wild card spots” that fulfill the number of Archons required. There is no restriction on Animal class or species for these spots.

SELECTION OF CHIEF ARCHON
When the final selection of Archons has been made, the remaining cards bearing candidates’ names are destroyed. The cards with the names of the 35 new Archons are placed in one opaque box, which is, again, shaken three times. The name of the Chief Archon is selected from these cards by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

CERTIFICATION OF CHOICE
The choice of the 35 Archons, including that of the Chief Archon, is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

ANNOUNCEMENT OF ARCHONS
In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons is posted at the Law Courts on the morning of January 15 each year, ten days after the final selection has been made. In order for Park citizens and residents to review the names, the list remains posted until the end of the week. Any Park citizens who wish to contest the selection of any Archon or Archons may do so by submitting a formal contest form (Form 15C) to the Department of Political Administration. The deadline for Form 15C submissions is January 31.

This article was originally published on January 17, 2013.

Countdown to our next government: 2016 Archons to be announced Friday

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Jan 15The names of the 35 Animals who will form The Park’s 2016 government will be released on Friday.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XII, of The Park’s Constitution, the list of new Archons will be posted at the Law Courts in the early hours of January 15, exactly an hour after the selection is certified by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court.

The Mammalian Daily will publish the list on its web site as soon as it is made public.

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