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On This Day—November 16, 2016: Hibernation outfitter to stay open 48 hours for a long “going-under” party

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Best GoUnderground 2015 LogoGoUnderground, The Park’s oldest hibernation outfitter has just announced that it will stay open tonight and tomorrow night in order to aid Park hibernators with their last-minute needs.

According to Nafari Bongo, the shop’s director of sales, the decision was made early this morning and was based on the number of customers they saw lined up at the door when the shop opened.

“We realized at that point that we weren’t going to be able to serve all those customers if we closed our doors tonight,” he said. “So, we decided to have a ‘going-under’ party and invite all our customers to a forty-eight hour bash.”

Bongo said there will be plenty of food available and even entertainment. He also confirmed that Hieronymous Hedgehog, GoUnderground spokesAnimal and The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, will be on hand to advise customers and assist them with their purchases.

“Hieronymous has a wealth of knowledge about hibernation and his presence here is always appreciated by customers,” Bongo said.

On This Day in 2014: Pre-hibernation sales “brisk” as Park awaits results of POPS election

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Web

Hibernation outfitters and service providers are pleased with their sales thus far, according to the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

“2014 looks like a banner year and it comes as a bit of a surprise,” said founder and current PASS president Wellington Whistlepig this morning in an interview on Mammalian Daily Radio.

Shopkeepers and grooming houses are reporting “brisk” business this season and the banks have reported larger than average deposits.

“If sales continue at this rate, we could match last year’s figures or even surpass them, which would be an amazing feat, considering that we had two extra weeks of shopping last year,” Whistlepig said.

The 2013 pre-hibernation season was extended from November 17 to December 1, due to difficulties in calculating the votes and establishing a winner in the election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). The result was an increase in retail sales as well as an increase in expenditures in the construction sector, as Animals used the extra time to renovate their hibernation quarters or to build new ones.

This year, though, the Park Election Office says we can expect the results to be announced well before November 17, the official date of hibernation.

“Gone are the days of next-day results,” Park Election Office head Gerrit Wezel says.

“Our exploding population and the skyrocketing growth in the number of candidates make that impossible. But I can guarantee that we will have the results by the weekend,” he says.

The announcement likely will result in a rush to make last-minute arrangements, so Whistlepig is quick to remind Park Animals that shops will be closed until 1:00 p.m. on Friday, November 14 in order to celebrate the ceremonies of the Surrender of the Nut.

On This Day—November 3, 2015: Hieronymous Hedgehog invokes uncle at emotional swearing-in ceremony

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Hieronymous Hedgehog It was comfortably warm yesterday afternoon and outside the law courts, a crowd gathered to watch Hieronymous Hedgehog take the oath of office as The Park’s first official Hibernation Ambassador.

Standing at the podium afterwards to deliver a short but moving speech, his spines sparkled in the midday sun. He paused just once to brush away a tear as he spoke of his much beloved uncle, Hamlin Jarvis Lambert Hedgehog, who served as Archon in 2000 and died in 2008, a victim of premature awakening from hibernation.

“I never thought I’d be able to pay tribute adequately to my Uncle Hamlin,” Hieronymous said. “And I never thought I’d have the chance to thank him for all he did for me and for The Park.

This honour—and this opportunity—mean everything to me. By sharing everything I know (and then some) about the process of hibernation, I will be contributing to interspecial understanding in The Park. But even more than that, I hope to save lives during my tenure. Because—let me warn you—I intend to take full advantage of my new position to raise awareness of the perils of premature awakening and its underlying causes. It’s the least I can do, not just for my Uncle Hamlin, but for the many victims of PA and their friends and families,” he said.

He also pledged to begin his new job “as soon as I leave this podium,” since the official date of hibernation is just two weeks away.

“I say,” he concluded with a smile, “I’ll be working nonstop until I go into hibernation myself, and by that time, you’ll be glad not to hear from me for a while.”

For everything you ever wanted to know about hibernation, follow Hieronymous on Twitter at HieronymousH.

On This Day—October 29, 2015: Millicent Hayberry to star in new Gianfranco Colocolo mystery series

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Millicent Hayberry Millicent Hayberry will ring in the new year by starting a new gig at the Burrow Theatre.

In a press communiqué today, the renowned actress announced that, beginning in mid-February, she will star in a series of mysteries by award-winning author Gianfranco Colocolo.

“I am very pleased to announce that 2016 will find me back onstage at the Burrow Theatre, in a series of mysteries by Gianfranco Colocolo, the award-winning author of Murder at the Fishbowl. I look forward to working with our brilliant director Jean-Luc Briard and the rest of the wonderful cast,” the communiqué said.

The Burrow Theatre confirmed that rehearsals for the first play begin on Monday.

“As Millicent is a hibernator, she will not be available after November 17, so we have to get going right away and use the time we have,” a spokesAnimal for the theatre said.

Hayberry, who is best known for her portrayal of author Imogen Aardeekhoorn in both the stage and screen productions of Mixed Nuts, is one of The Park’s early risers and, as such, she does not plan to return to her burrow after Groundhog Day. Instead, said the theatre’s spokesAnimal, “she expects to arrive here on February 3, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to get back to work.”

On This Day—October 28, 2015: Hieronymous Hedgehog named Park’s first official Hibernation Ambassador

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Hieronymous HedgehogHieronymous Hedgehog  has been chosen as The Park’s first official Hibernation Ambassador.

Chief Archon Abayomi Cuckoo made the announcement at a press event in front of the Wishing Well this morning.

With Hieronymous at her side, Cuckoo spoke briefly about the creation of the position and the responsibilities involved.

“This is by no means a ceremonial position,” she said emphatically. “After a series of consultations with a number of groups actively engaged in advocating for interspecial harmony, we Archons decided it was time to expand our own advocacy rôle beyond Stereotype Sundays,” she said.

The position, which has a term of five years, is the first of several that the Archons will be creating in the next few months until their term ends in January, Cuckoo told reporters.

The new Hibernation Ambassador will peform a variety of duties, with an emphasis on educating other Animals about hibernation and advocating for tolerance among species.

Hieronymous will be sworn in on the morning of Tuesday, November 2.

“We will have to keep the ceremony brief,” Cuckoo said. “He has a lot to do between then and November 17 [the official date of hibernation].”

Full schedule of events released for 2018 Groundhog Day celebrations

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The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations (DHFC) has released the Official Schedule of the 2018 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a short press conference this afternoon, DHFC Director of Public Relations Aintza Kanariar used the word, “stupendous,” as she rhymed off the names of the performers, games, acts, and more that will make up what some in The Park consider the most important event of the year.

“There is not only something for everyone to enjoy at this year’s celebration,” she said, “but almost too much.”

Kanariar went even further, saying it was not just the quantity of the “non-stop fun,” but the quality that will make this year’s Groundhog Day memorable.

“After more than thirty-five years of zoocracy, The Park can truthfully say it has an unrivalled depth of talent,” she said. She also joked that the official celebration would “give the Early Risers a run for their money.”

For the past few years, The Park’s Early Risers, who end their hibernation on Groundhog Day instead of on the traditional date of February 19, have hosted legendary after-parties.

Kanariar also announced an addendum to the official schedule, which was released a few days ago.

“We will officially acknowledge the life and work of Egerton Vole, who died on January 25, after serving only nine days as Archon. The Archons’ Address, which will be read by Chief Archon Iolana Camira Whooping Crane, will also include some words about Vole, she said. And a tribute to Vole during the Groundhog Day parade will include a performance by the All Rodent Marching Band, but Kanariar would not say whether a new float would be part of that tribute.

For the first time since their bassist Zuberi Tembo died, the Endeka Elephant Band will play during the parade, as well. There will only be nine band members playing, however, because Árvakur Fíl, the band’s drummer, is serving as Archon this year.

Kanariar said we can expect the parade to include a “host of new floats,” several of which will acknowledge The Park’s endangered species.

New this year will be a poetry reading by members of the Centre for Interspecial Harmony.

In addition to the special appearance by Thisbe and the Barkettes, the following musicians will participate in the event:

The Feral Four
The Canary Cousins
Spontaneous Generation
Les Chiens Débraillés
SCENTient Beings
Jargonhead
Persistent Sisters
The Cynics
Will.o.be
Memes of Production
Last Stand
Eggie and The Pigs
ZEAL
Inktvis and Krake
The All-Rodent Marching Band
The DomEstyx
The Beasts of Burden
BHR (Big Hearts Rule) formerly NIML (Not In My Lifetime)
Fish Rap

As is always the case, one of the most important aspects of the Groundhog Day celebrations will be the food. Renowned Chef Tab Triolore will reprise his “feral buffet” and supply delicious non-perishables from his newly-opened restaurant grassRoutes.  Other food purveyors include The Battering Ram Café, The Compost Heap, The Broop ‘n Miaow, The Draft, The Pound Gastropub, and The Cackling Goose Tavern. Mikko Tikkeri’s The Feeding Station will serve a full breakfast just after the Archons’ Address. Ants in Your Pantry and Provisions by Petrounel will send all attendees home with tasty party favours.

And, again, this year, food will be served for twenty-four hours straight.

“We’re going through from eight in the morning on the second [of February] until eight in the morning on the third,” Kanariar said.

And, don’t forget: the events will be covered live by Mammalian Daily reporters here on Twitter.

2017 Groundhog Day Schedule released

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groundhogdayscheduleThe Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations has released the Official Schedule of the 2017 Groundhog Day Celebrations.

At a press conference held early this morning, Aintza Kanariar, Director of Public Relations for the department, announced plans for the ” Zoocracy 35 edition” of the celebrations.

Kanariar told the press that this year’s event will include the recognition of Park history “in many forms,” including a parade of all living former Archons, a reading from the historical tome of the sister of the founder of zoocracy, and a pantomime performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company.

“We’ll be acknowledging history and making history all at the same time,” Kanariar said. She also confirmed that the Endeka Elephant Band would contribute a musical interlude during the official celebrations, but they will not play during the parade.

As well, Kanariar said we can expect the parade to include a “host of new floats,” many of which will acknowledge the anniversary of the founding of zoocracy.

“Even though this is our Groundhog Day celebration, and not the official celebration of Animal self-rule in The Park, we thought it fitting to include that theme in the parade,” she said.

As ever, one of the most important aspects of the Groundhog Day celebrations will be the food. And the food this year will be “diverse,” because, Kanariar, said, “We want to celebrate interspecial harmony by recognizing our different eating preferences.”

Among the new food stations will be a “feral buffet” courtesy of Chef Tab Tricolore and “Diverse Dishes” supplied by a consortium of The Park’s chefs and restaurateurs.

Also new this year, food will be served for twenty-four hours straight.

“We’re going through from eight in the morning on the second [of February] until eight in the morning on the third,” Kanariar said. But she was quick to confirm this would not replace the celebration hosted by the Early Risers.

“We are not competing with the Early Risers at all, and they are welcome to come and join us at any time.”

And, don’t forget: for the fourth year in a row, the events will be covered live by Mammalian Daily reporters here on Twitter.

Burrowers chase Humans out of Park for photographing hibernators

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hibernators

These pictures, recovered by Rodrigo Coelho and Lucjan Królik, are now in Park Police possession

Two Park burrowers are being hailed as heroes today, after police confirmed they ran a group of Humans out of The Park when they found them photographing Animals in hibernation.

At a hastily-arranged press conference this morning, Chief Inspector Maurice Addax of Park Police’s Specist and Hate Crimes Unit (SHCU) and Cornelius Kakapo, DWBS Director of Public Relations, praised Rodrigo Coelho and Lucjan Królik, whose quick thinking, Addax said, “preserved the privacy and safety of our hibernating community.”

According to Inspector Addax, the two burrowers spotted what they believed were a couple of illegal holes near their own burrows. After further investigation, they found a cache of small video and still cameras, and several sets of Human footprints. Before they had time to call Park Police, the group of Humans returned, and the two burrowers ran them out of The Park. Police are now in possession of the cameras.

The pair, who attended the press conference this morning, say they don’t feel like heroes at all.

Królik, who calls himself “an ordinary burrower,” told reporters the actions of the Humans offended his sense of propriety.

“I wasn’t even thinking about the law when I saw them [the Humans]. I was thinking that our vulnerable citizens needed protection and I was going to make sure they got it.”

For his part, Coelho said he could only imagine what it must feel like to be violated by Humans while you’re in hibernation.

“It’s just not right. I have many friends in the hibernating community and I know their lives are difficult. They don’t need any added stress, or the fear that their every movement will be recorded while they try to survive the Winter,” he said.

Election Office scrambles to meet today’s deadline to declare a winner

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ballot-boxThe Park Election Office (PEO) is scrambling to count all the votes cast in the November 7 election for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) by midnight tonight in order to announce a winner before the hibernating community takes its leave for the Winter.

In an early morning interview on TMD Radio,  PEO head Gerritt Wezel said he and his team would “do anything” to avoid the situation that occurred three years ago, when the vote counting took so long that hibernation had to be postponed for weeks.

“That took its toll on the whole Park, emotionally, as well as physically,” he said.

Wezel also confirmed that he’d asked the members of the Maple Tree Project, who organize the Tree of Hearts sendoff for hibernators, to postpone the hanging of the hearts until late in the afternoon. According to Wezel, former Chief Archon Dewi Rhinoceros, who initiated the project, agreed to hold off until about five o’clock.

The election results will be broadcast across all Park media as soon as they are known.

Hibernation outfitter to stay open 48 hours for a long “going-under” party

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Best GoUnderground 2015 LogoGoUnderground, The Park’s oldest hibernation outfitter has just announced that it will stay open tonight and tomorrow night in order to aid Park hibernators with their last-minute needs.

According to Nafari Bongo, the shop’s director of sales, the decision was made early this morning and was based on the number of customers they saw lined up at the door when the shop opened.

“We realized at that point that we weren’t going to be able to serve all those customers if we closed our doors tonight,” he said. “So, we decided to have a ‘going-under’ party and invite all our customers to a forty-eight hour bash.”

Bongo said there will be plenty of food available and even entertainment. He also confirmed that Hieronymous Hedgehog, GoUnderground spokesAnimal and The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, will be on hand to advise customers and assist them with their purchases.

“Hieronymous has a wealth of knowledge about hibernation and his presence here is always appreciated by customers,” Bongo said.

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