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Park Museum to celebrate zoocracy’s 35th year with travelling exhibition

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Park MuseumIf you can’t make it to The Park Museum this year, worry not.

The museum’s Board of Governors announced today that it plans to revive its travelling exhibition, this time in honour of zoocracy’s thirty-fifth anniversary.

At a press conference this morning, Sukuta Rhinoceros announced the new travelling show which, she said, will display “relevant” samples of the museum’s holdings on a number of themes.

Rhinoceros, who is a member of Board of Governors and is one of the museum’s founders, said the travelling exhibition would make several tours of The Park throughout the year, starting in April.

“We are thrilled to be able to celebrate the thirty-fifth anniversary of zoocracy in this fashion,” Rhinoceros said, on behalf of the board. “It enables us to meet our commitment to inclusivity and to encourage interspecial harmony through education.”

The Zoocracy 35 Travelling Exhibition will be sponsored by the Founding Families Financial Corporation.

The museum’s full announcement can be read here.

Don’t miss these Springtime events!

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upcoming-event There’s always a lot of work to do come Springtime. But don’t forget to mark your calendar for these annual Park events!

Otter Slide participant
March 13: Closing date for the Otter Ice Slide
Yes, it will be another Winter come and gone. So, get yourself over to the Otter Ice Slide while the weather still permits. There’s no feeling like it, but that feeling won’t last past March 13.

Polar BearMarch 25: Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic
One of our most beloved seasonal and artistic events. Now in its twenty-second year, the Polar Bears’ Poetry Picnic has expanded to include haiku and rap, but the format of the day remains the same. And here’s a cautionary word from the organizers: watch the weather forecast and dress appropriately to avoid frozen nose syndrome.

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" will now be called "The Shakeoff"March 29: The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff”
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”
Formerly the “Shake for Charity,” this semi-annual event aids those who have no coat. The Shakeoff also offers free grooming and refreshments to participants.

tulipsMarch 30: Tulip season
Yes, it’s that time of year already. Tap on your apps to find the latest emerging bulbs. If you need any technical help, our resident experts at The Mammalian Daily will be on hand to aid you in locating your favourite Springtime snack.

April 8-10: The Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual “Broopee Days”cat-and-dog-drinking
Are you a Broopee? We’re all Broopees during the Broop ‘n Miaow’s annual Broopee Days! So invite your friends—of all species—and share the super-specials! And don’t forget the instant win contests!

Footpad HeavenApril 15: Footpad Heaven Clearance Sale
Don’t be a slave to style! Even though it may be last year’s stock, FH’s Toepads, Footpads and other clearance accoutrement are brand new. Indulge yourself at half the price!

Wednesday Rewind: Economy forces Animals to work as “domestics” outside Park

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A record number of unemployed Animals have left The Park to take jobs as domestic companions to Humans

Wednesday Rewind: 
Original Publication Date: 25 March 2012

The sluggish economy is taking its toll on the professional and personal lives of Park citizens.

“The situation is dire,” says Dr. Anneliese Cissa, head of the Livingstone School of Economics and Social Science at the University of West Terrier and author of a new report on the economy entitled, “Seeking Greener Pastures: The Exodus of the Unwilling and Able.”

The report, which analyzed economic and employment data gathered by The Park’s Department of Statistics and Records, paints a gloomy  picture of the future unless immediate action is taken.

According to the report, recent statistics show that a record number of Animals have had to leave their homes and families in the past year to seek work outside The Park.

“The Park is simply not generating a sufficient number of jobs for its population,” says Dr. Cissa. “As a consequence, we are losing our best and brightest…the skilled and the most diligent. And Humans are the ones who are benefitting.”

Indeed, figures cited in the report indicate that, out of financial necessity, a great many Animals have been forced to take jobs as “domestic companions” to Humans outside The Park.

“This is tragic on so many levels,” says Cissa. “These are Animals who were trained and educated at institutions in The Park, Animals who were promised a better life than their ancestors had. These are Animals who believed in the Promise of The Park, and who believed that Animals would never have to serve Humans again. They’ve been betrayed by the economy and they are starting to question their commitment to The Park, itself. It is a very challenging situation.”

Dr. Cissa’s report is scheduled to be presented to the Archons’ full assembly on Tuesday.

Mob swarms biographer at book launch

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3d-tabby-king-croppedYesterday’s launch of Yoshita Tigru’s biography turned ugly as an angry mob swarmed the author the minute she arrived at The Literary Apothecary.

A scheduled book signing inside the store was cancelled and Tigru was escorted by Park police to a safe location, where she gave a series of interviews via the web to Park television and radio stations.

According to Wyuna Winkle, the bookstore’s owner, Tigru had just arrived at the door when they rushed her, “grabbing at her tail and spitting at her.”

Other witnesses said some members of the mob were holding signs calling Tigru a traitor and an “unzoocratic Animal not fit for Park citizenship.”

Winkle said the mob members were angry at Tigru’s assertion that Jor, The Park’s first leader, initially had planned to rule The Park as king, instead of establishing zoocracy.

“That idea is abhorrent to them and they refuse to believe it,” she said. “To them, Jor was a perfect specimen of Felinity whose brilliance resulted in the reality of Animal self-rule. What Tigru reveals in her book, though, is that zoocracy was the result of a long process of thought on Jor’s part. What we ended up with as our government was not his first idea, but it was his best. For some reason, they think that revealing that fact is disrespectful to him.”

Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press, the book’s publisher, has confirmed that there are no other events planned at this time for Tigru.

Designs by Holstein puts stripes and spots up front this Spring

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Holstein FashionDesigns by Holstein’s 2017 Spring Collection will feature stripes and spots, according to a company statement.

In the release dated today, President and CEO Balbina Ko says the company took as inspiration for the new season the work that their charity EQUALSS has done, as well as their designers’ tribute last Summer to Zuberi Tembo, the murdered Endeka Elephant Band bass player.

Ko founded the EQUALLS charity almost two years ago to support the full equality of striped and spotted Animals and others in The Park. Since the charity’s birth, Designs by Holstein has included at least one striped and one spotted item in its seasonal collections. Last year, Holstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein, hosted a fashion show during Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) in June. The show’s fashions were created to highlight the perils of domestication for all Animals.

The Spring collection, which is bound for the stores in April, includes footwear as well as body wear and, for the first time, rainwear, because as Ko remarked at the end of the company statement, “What are the first spots any Animal sees? Raindrops!”

Archons set to restrict Animals’ right to leave Park: rumour

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Bird On TravelingBREAKING NEWS
The 2017 Archons may be planning to enact legislation that restricts Park Animals’ right to leave The Park.

According to a post dated today on the gossip web site headsNtales, the Archons are considering unprecedented measures to restrict the free movement of Park citizens, as well as the free flow of goods.

Site co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo quotes “sources close to the Archons” as saying that talks are underway with legal and financial consultants to determine the feasibility of travel  and trade restrictions.

According to Guacamayo’s sources, the main problem appears to be the lack of power that Park legal representatives have in matters affecting Animals who have been charged or detained outside The Park.

That lack of power was the subject of a panel discussion this morning on Mammalian Daily Radio. During the discussion, University of West Terrier Law Professor Fionnula Fox, an expert in Extra-Hortulanial law (law that applies outside The Park) told the panel, “It does not lie within our jurisdiction to represent Park Animals who have been charged with some form of wrongdoing outside The Park. Nor are we able to prosecute Humans on their own lands who have wronged Park Animals.”

According to Fox, the legal problem has given birth to a financial burden that Park Archons say the budget is not equipped to deal with.

“Without legal standing outside The Park, we must use the resources of our police and other specialized forces to extricate Park Animals from detention. Many see this as not just a financial burden, but a misuse or unnecessary use of our limited resources,” she said.

Although Fox did not say whether she agreed with the direction the Archons are said to be taking, she said trade restrictions might be a step in the right direction.

“Right now, we have to rely on the goodwill of Humans. We have to convince them to cooperate with us. Restricting their access to our goods might be one way of bringing more balance to the situation,” she said.

Wednesday Rewind: Founding Families, Petrounel pull ads from Toro Talk Radio

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Wednesday Rewind
Original Publication Date:
19 February 2013

The Founding Families Financial Corporation has pulled its advertisements from Toro Talk Radio in response to remarks made on February 12 by the station’s talk show host, Yannis Tavros.

In an announcement dated today, The Park’s oldest and largest bank said it “could not in good conscience support the radio station given the nature of the remarks made by one in its employ.”

As its name suggests, Founding Families Financial Corporation was established by a number of The Park’s original families. These include Groundhogs, Ground Squirrels, Arachnids, Hedgehogs, Beavers, Wasps, Polar Bears, Cattle and Bees, among others. Many of these families are members of The Park’s hibernating communities and some have suggested that this may have been a factor in the bank’s decision.

In an interview on Chitter Radio this morning, Rodolfo van de Gier, President of the Association of Media Outlets of The Park (AMOP) said he thought it was “far from a coincidence that the bank’s announcement came today, [since it is ] the official end of the hibernation period.”

“Not only do some members of its Board of Directors come from our hibernating communities, but a great number of its clients do, as well. They can’t be seen to be supporting a station that appears anti-hibernator,” he said.

He also believes this is the main reason that Provisions by Petrounel pulled its ads from Toro Talk Radio.

“They’re grocers and caterers and they serve all species, but it’s been estimated that a good 40 per cent or more of their business is post-hibernation. How could they afford not to pull their ads after Tavros insulted a pair of very well-known and well-loved hibernators?” he said.

As of this afternoon, Toro Talk Radio had not responded to the companies’ announcements.

Today’s Return of the Nut celebration to include tribute to Nestor

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Today’s Return of the Nut celebration will include a tribute to the late Nestor P. Cat, who served as Keeper of the Nut in 2008.

In a statement released this morning, Malinda L. Hamster, president of the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC), said the short tribute would recognize “Nestor’s importance to our community in particular, his important scientific and poetic contributions in general, and his great love of The Park.”

The tribute will occur a few minutes after 2017 Keeper of the Nut Sunniva Muldvarp returns the symbolic Nut to the hibernating community and swears the ancient oath that it was  “kept from harm and preserved intact.”

As part of the tribute, The Park’s Official Hibernation Ambassador, Hieronymous Hedgehog, will read one of Nestor’s most famous poems, “A Poem of Love Inspired by Water.”

The Return of the Nut ceremony marks the end of the hibernation period and the beginning of a new phase of life in The Park.

“It’s a day of faith renewed, as well as hope for the future,” Park psychoanalyst Dr. Elinore E. Owl, has said.

Clark Cascanueces, President of the Park Historical Society, told The Mammalian Daily that its significance “cannot be underrated.”

“It renews our faith in our community of non-hibernating friends as well as our faith in ourselves and our survival,” he said.

“I think Nestor would be honoured to be remembered at such an event.”

This week’s Stereotype Sunday to celebrate official end of hibernation

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End of hibernationThis month’s Stereotype Sundays will feature two themes instead of one. And this week’s theme will be “Welcoming Home our Hibernating Friends.”

In a joint statement issued this morning, the 2017 Archons and the Department of Well-Being and Safety (DWBS), announced the theme:

“As the official end of hibernation falls on a Sunday this year, we have made the decision to dedicate this week’s Stereotype Sunday to welcoming back and celebrating The Park’s hibernating community. We look forward to seeing you at this joyful event.”

The statement went on to encourage the participation of all Park citizens in this the “opportunity to educate ourselves about hibernation and estivation.”

On hand for the celebration will be actress Millicent Hayberry, star of the one-Chipmunk play and film, Mixed Nuts, who has written extensively about the importance of hibernation and Groundhog Day.

An Early Riser herself, Hayberry will be joined by other Early Risers to discuss hibernation in general as well as their decision to rise on Groundhog Day rather than on the official date of February 19. According to the Department of Statistics and Records, Early Risers constitute approximately eight percent of The Park’s hibernating community.

To kick off the celebration, Belles and Whistles will perform what they call an “anti-lullaby” which will be followed by a set by The Canary Cousins. Other Park musicians have signed on, but the DWBS has confirmed that no loud music will be played during the celebration. Food will be available throughout the day, supplied by The Compost Heap, The Battering Ram Café, The Pound Gastropub, and Florette’s Fine Edibles, among others.

All attendees at the event will be given a free copy of “The Definitive Guide to Welcoming Back Our Hibernating Friends,” which was published last year and funded in part by the Department of Well-Being and Safety.

Off the docket: Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon postpones February court

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Mr Justice Augustus DindonBREAKING NEWS The office of Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon issued a statement today advising all concerned parties that the trials and hearings over which he was to preside in the remaining days of February will be postponed until March or later.

No reason for the postponement was cited in the statement, but sources close to Justice Dindon tell The Mammalian Daily that he has been feeling ill since Groundhog Day and that he is taking a few days off “on the advice of Dr. Bourru.”

Justice Dindon has kept a rigorous schedule over the past few years. As the only justice serving on The Park’s Superior Court for the past ten years, he has presided over thousands of trials. Despite that, he has resisted calls to hire an assistant justice. In an interview in late 2016, the justice said that he wasn’t against slowing down “at some point,” and might do so when he found “the right fit” for his court, but that he preferred to keep the lower court justices in place and continue presiding over the Superior Court.

The seven February trials and hearings that have been postponed include the request by Thisbe and the Barkettes for a cease and desist order against Halcyon Days Canine Coiffure. No dates have yet been set for the postponed court business.

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