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OTD in 2015—Noreen in talks with TMD to curate new section of newspaper: gossip site

August 24, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

headsNtalesAccording to the gossip site headsNtales, Noreen is presently in negotiations with The Mammalian Daily to expand her rôle with the paper beyond that of dispensing advice.

In a post dated yesterday, the site claims that the advice columnist, best-selling author, and adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier has pitched the idea of creating and curating a new section of the newspaper called, “The Righteous Among the Humans.” The new section would shine a light on Humans who have done good works for Animals.

“Let’s face it; it would be a natural fit for Noreen,” says headsNtales co-founder Hortencia Guacamayo.

“Given that she’s spent her whole life studying Humans, both informally and formally… and add to that her newspaper and academic credentials…who better to do this sort of work than Noreen? I think it’s a brilliant idea and only Noreen could have thought it up!” she says.

Although no formal announcement has been made by the newspaper, Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas has been known as a champion of Noreen ever since she brought her to the paper over fifteen years ago.

“Haas encouraged Noreen from the get-go and she’s blossomed into a very powerful force in The Park. I can’t imagine her denying Noreen’s request. This new rôle will be good for her [Noreen] and for all of us,” Guacamayo says.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Gossip and Rumour, Media, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Humans who do good for Animals, Noreen, The Righteous Among the Humans

OTD in 2013—Douglas Cheetah to host “Cheetah Chat” during PIFF 2013

August 23, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Renowned director Douglas Cheetah will host a chat and Q&A with film lovers during PIFF 2013.

Renowned director Douglas Cheetah will host a chat and Q&A with Park film lovers this October during PIFF 2013, it was announced today.

“We are pleased to announce that Douglas Cheetah has agreed to participate in a live chat and Q&A at the Park Cinema, following the debut screening of his new documentary,” PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot said in a statement released this morning.

The chat, which has been dubbed the “Cheetah Chat” will be held live at the Park Cinema but will also be carried online, to allow those not able to attend to ask questions of The Park’s most celebrated director.

Cheetah, who is best known for his controversial 2007 (25 AZ) film, Black Cats Can’t Jump, has spent the last few years working on a documentary about the inner workings of the interspecial family, which he says he discovered exists both inside and outside The Park.

The film, entitled, Clutch, Flock, Litter, Pack: Relationships in the Age of the Interspecial Family, will screen October 2 and 4 at the Park Cinema during PIFF 2013.

The Cheetah Chat will be held on October 2.

The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs from October 1-5, 2013.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2016—UWT group to Rotte: Learn how to do social experiments or leave them to us

August 22, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

UWT COAT

As Gunnar Rotte ended his sojourn at The Park Jail on Friday, a group of University of West Terrier professors was joining forces to lecture The Rodent Commoner journalist on the ethics of conducting his so-called social experiment.

Rotte, who was arrested for disturbing the peace and jailed for inciting violence at The Park’s Stereotype Sunday on August 14, was freed on bail on Friday. He claims that he attended the event dressed as a Skunk as part of a “social experiment” to determine which Animal’s life was easier: that of a Rat or that of a Skunk.

The reporter, who began a second career last November as a counsellor at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, rose to fame in December 2014, when he published an editorial contending that his own species suffered more but received far less sympathy than striped and spotted Animals. Since then, he has made it part of his mission to enlighten Park citizenry about the lives of Rats and other Rodents.

But the UWT group, which includes Chief of Research at the UWT Medical College Simone Gibbon, psychologist Hume. T. Goat, Milada J. Goose, head of the Honking Hollow Laboratory, and Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy, among others, thinks Rotte should go back to school first and learn how to conduct an experiment properly. Or, better yet, leave the social experiments to them.

In a statement released this morning, the group praises Rotte for his passion, but calls on him to leave the academic studies to those who know how to conduct them.

“While we understand your passion and your position, we implore you to think twice before embarking on something that could benefit few, but hurt many,” the statement concludes.

Rotte has not commented on the group’s statement as of yet.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, On This Day, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: Gunnar Rotte, Skunks vs Rats, social experiments, University of West Terrier

OTD in 2015—Budget 2016: Analysis and commentary

August 21, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Since their unveiling on Tuesday afternoon, The 2016 Park Expense Projections have been met with an enthusiasm not seen in the past few years. Many citizens have praised PFO head Valentina Abeja for presenting a “thoughtful” budget, while others, who may have had unrealistic expectations, have said they’re satisfied, if not outright pleased.

The Mammalian Daily had the opportunity to speak with Abeja after her Tuesday afternoon press conference. Since then, our financial, social, health, weather, and education experts have pored over the figures. We present here a point form scoring, as well as analysis and commentary:

budget 2016

  • Overall Score: 7
  • Business Support: 7
  • Research Support: 7
  • Healthcare: 4
  • Immigration and Refugee Support: 4
  • Safety and Security: 4
  • Education: 8
  • Quality of Park Life: 8
  • Environmental Impact: 10
  • Look to the Future: 10

It was a difficult budget to score fairly since, to Abeja’s credit, it took into consideration many important items for which, in the past, expenditures have not been allocated.

The Mammalian Daily gave a score of seven to items such as support for business and for research. This may seem harsh because, heretofore, there has been no budget allocation for either. We are mindful, as well, that funds are limited and we have high praise for Abeja for setting aside any funds at all. Within that framework, then, a score of seven should be seen as an overwhelmingly positive one.

Abeja said on Thursday that scrapping budget funds for tourism was high on her list and that she met with little opposition to the idea. We agree completely with this decision. Those funds have found their way into other areas that will surely benefit Park citizens more than tourism ever can.

We were alarmed at the reduction in funds for healthcare. No longer a big ticket item, Abeja has designated only eight percent of the budget for what is now termed “health and well-being.” This is an eleven percent reduction from the 2014 budget. Abeja explained that some of the healthcare funds have been re-allocated to the areas of research, food production, weather, water, and business support. After extensive consultation with health professionals and with The Park’s food and weather makers, Abeja said she decided that spending now on items that will prevent illness in the future was the best route to take. The wisdom of that decision remains to be seen, but with a constantly growing population, we are somewhat skeptical and, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for healthcare.

We were puzzled, as well, at the two percent reduction in funds for immigrant and refugee support. Abeja pointed out to us that she had doubled the funds for education, which she believed would relieve some of the burden on I and R services. She also claimed that support for Park businesses would help new Park residents support themselves financially. Once again, that remains to be seen, but since some immigration services, such as the Extinction Anxiety Clinic, receive healthcare funding, we are dismayed at the reduction of both. We, therefore, gave the budget a score of four for immigrant and refugee support.

Most notable to some in The Park was the reduction in security funding. While the 2014 budget allocated a full twenty-three percent, Abeja has reduced this to fifteen percent. Many feel she has taken a big chance by making this move. Abeja seems to be counting on her spending in other areas, such as education, arts funding, and special events, to produce peace in The Park. Recent statistics have proven, however, that certain kinds of tensions are escalating and we question whether Stereotype Sundays will be enough to keep them at bay. As well, we believe the reduction will likely over-burden volunteer peacekeepers such as the Doves and Does of Peace. For this reason, we gave the budget a score of four for safety and security.

On its own, the doubling of funds for education seems a wonderful and timely idea. While we gave the budget a score of eight for education, we remain cognizant that some of that funding came from areas that should not have seen their funds shrink. The results of this re-allocation remain to be seen.

Abeja adjusted the figures for arts and sports funding this year, equalizing them at four percent and allocating six percent for special events. We cannot quibble with this and, therefore, gave the budget a score of eight in this area for overall quality of life in The Park.

In terms of environmental impact, this budget works very well. By allocating funds directly to weather, groundskeeping, water, research, and food production, Abeja has managed to use over a third of the budget to ensure The Park’s environmental health and longevity. For this, coupled with the de-funding of tourism, which had a detrimental effect on our environment, we offer high praise and a score of ten.

Finally, whether all the changes that come with the 2016 budget work in the long run, Abeja has made every effort to ensure that this a forward-looking budget and for this reason, we have given it a score of ten in this regard. She has supported research and the environment and looked to secure a future in The Park for our citizens and residents. For this we commend Abeja and her team at the Park Finance Office.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life Tagged With: 2016 budget, government spending

OTD in 2015—PIFF extends deadline for submission of films to PIFF Pockets category

August 20, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) has extended the deadline for the submission of short films to the 2015 PIFF Pockets category.

In a statement issued this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot confirmed that the new date will be September 25, giving filmmakers an extra four days to edit and submit their films.

Ocelot gave no specific reason for the deadline extension, but said in the statement that it was decided on the basis of “fairness to all.”

Pocket films are generally defined as films that do not exceed three minutes in length. To qualify for the PIFF Pocket category, films must have been made specifically for the Festival and must have their first screening at the Festival. Both pocket documentary and pocket fiction films are eligible for submission.


The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs 1-5 October 2015.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF, Pocket Films

OTD in 2013—GooseBook’s fortunes fall on news of PIFF 2013 shutout

August 19, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

GooseBook Logo

GooseBook’s fortunes fell on Friday after Thursday morning’s announcement that cackle-enabled devices will not be lent to filmgoers this year nor will they even be allowed inside the Park Cinema during PIFF 2013’s Noon Nuttiness screenings.

The social network site, which is the parent company of cackle (as well as peck), stood to add to its financial base through a group of private investors who had planned to support the company in its new endeavours. But after Thursday’s announcement by PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot, the group withdrew its offer of support, a spokesAnimal for the investors told The Mammalian Daily.

“The group [of investors] does not feel that the time is right for them to invest in GooseBook. Unfortunately, Park Animals continue to associate the company with the violence that broke out during the 2012 Noon Nuttiness screenings, even though the company was not involved in any way and publicly condemned the violence. Although the group is supportive of GooseBook, it has decided to hold off allying itself with the company until such time as GooseBook is able to repair its relationship with the public,” the spokesAnimal said.

Although some financial experts regard the loss of these private investors as “sounding the death knell” for GooseBook, the company’s CEO and President, Lester C. Gander said in a statement today that he is confident the company will find the support it needs “from both the public and investors.”

GooseBook was the brainchild of the late Cesar Emilio Gander, who founded the site while a student at the University of West Terrier. After his untimely death in 2009, as a result of a collision with a passenger aircraft, Lester Gander assumed the position of CEO and President. With Gander at the helm, the company has grown and the membership of all three social media sites has tripled in the past year.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2006—Let’s Talk Balls! with Bailey: The Football

August 18, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Today’s ball is the FOOTball.

The football has a long history with Dogs.

Originally designed as a domestic tool, cynologists (those who study Dogs) believe the football was first used by the Cave Dog in his attempts to keep the cave door open.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the first footballs were products of the potter’s craft. Scholars at the University of West Terrier who have examined shards found in recent digs believe that these first clay footballs were built by hand and fired in a simple kiln.

Cave paintings depicting the Cave Dog receiving visitors suggest that the football was used in the ancient Canine hospitality ritual of leaving the door ajar to welcome guests. Many scholars believe the first kick of the football occurred when the Cave Dog moved the ball in order to secure the cave door.

As rocks began to be used in the hospitality ritual, the football became less of a tool and more of a toy. Retaining its original earthen colour, the football has provided many hours of joy for Dogs everywhere.

Sources: Canine Prehistory: Society and Ritual; The Cave Dog’s Guide to the Sporting World; Daily Life in the Ancient Canine World, Volume 3: Balls; The Canine Picture Book of Balls; The Educated Ball Owner’ s Guide to the Good Life; Various Newspaper Articles and Reports.

Bailey can be reached at bailey@mammaliandaily.com.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Let's Talk Balls!, On This Day, Sports Tagged With: History of the football, let's talk balls, Sports

OTD in 2012—Reminder: Park Art Walk

August 17, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

The organizers of the 6th annual Park ART Walk (PAW) request the honour of your presence at the following event:

Park ART Walk
Saturday, August 18, 2012
10:00 am – 7:00 pm

The Park ART Walk is a one-day, juried art exhibition that showcases the artistic expression of Park residents. PAW showings will take place at participating art galleries, retail establishments, and at the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre.

For more information on this year’s event, please see: INtRT

————————————————————————————-

The Park ART Walk wishes to thank its sponsors:

         
  The Nutbar       LeTwiggery     Amoltrud’s Aesthetics

       Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations

                                         The Tabby Club
Marine Mammal Bank    Sapsucker Savings and Loan             You’ve Earned Your Stripes™                             

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

OTD in 2015—Barkettes announce collaboration with Noreen on new song called “Yield!”

August 16, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

YIELD

The Barkettes’ will base their new song “Yield!” on Noreen’s 2015 UWT commencement address

BREAKING NEWS
Less than a week before the final Park performance of their “Bring Your Own Bone” tour, Thisbe and the Barkettes have thrown us a bone of our own: the announcement that they plan to collaborate with Noreen on a song based on her 2015 University of West Terrier commencement address.

In a press release issued this morning, The Park’s most beloved singing group confirmed that they have entered into an agreement with the Mammalian Daily advice columnist and UWT adjunct professor of Human Studies for the creation and production of a new song called, “Yield!”

“Every bit of Noreen’s speech was so moving and showed so much wisdom,” the group writes in the release, “but the part called ‘Yield’ touched us like no other. It echoes what we–individually and as a group–have believed in and stood for all these years. It cried out for recognition and we felt we could not refuse it.”

The press release did not offer any time frame for the creation or production of the song but, according to the gossip site headsNtales, the group has booked a recording studio in The Park for the last two weeks of November.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Gossip and Rumour, Noreen, On This Day, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture, Thisbe and the Barkettes Tagged With: Barkettes collaborate with Noreen, new song, Thisbe and the Barkettes, Yield

OTD in 2012—Feral Four donate song to help formerly domestic Cats

August 15, 2025 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

One of The Park’s most controversial musical groups, The Feral Four, has announced that it will donate the proceeds from its new song to the CatsCare Foundation, in aid of formerly domestic Cats who have found their way to freedom in The Park.

The song, which will be released as a digital download in the late Autumn, is titled, “I Saw Your Collar in the Hall”. No other information has been released, either by the group’s manager or by its record company, Colony Records.

The group, who is set to release a new collection of songs next year, is also working with The Canary Cousins, Eggie and The Pigs, The Beasts of Burden, Les Chiens Débraillés, Scentient Beings, The DomEstyx, The Endeka Elephant Band, NIML, and rapper Will.o.be. on The Park’s first interspecial song.

Filed Under: Breaking News, On This Day, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture

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