The Mammalian Daily

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OTD in 2011—Inktvis and Krake perform at annual Snowbird sendoff

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Inktvis and Krake, the current darlings of The Park’s musical scene, performed before a packed crowd at last night’s Snowbird Farewell. The pair played alongside The Canary Cousins and the rap group, The Tweeters, marking the first time in Park history that non-Avian musicians have been invited to perform at the annual festival.

“We were delighted that they accepted [our invitation],” said Arabella Hawk, spokesBird for the yearly event.  “The more species that come out to participate in our celebration, the more the Avian citizens of The Park feel the love. It helps us to know that we’ll be welcome when we return in the Spring.”

The aquatic pair performed a selection of songs and instrumentals from their earlier recordings as well as their current hit, 3 Hearts, 1 Head. As the festival drew to a close, they returned to the stage to sing backup for The Canary Cousins during their encore of Life is Tweet.

 

OTD in 2016—On the docket: these are the trials to follow this October

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Mr Justice Augustus Dindon

The law courts will be busy this month, dealing with a number of high-profile cases scheduled to be heard by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon.

Below is a list of trials to watch in October.

October 17: The Park v Gunnar Rotte: charged with disturbing the peace and inciting violence at a Stereotype Sunday event in August.

October 19: The Park v The Gang of Twenty-One: charged with committing crimes of a specist nature in connection with throwing spitballs at the director and other attendees at the premiere of the movie, WINK.

October 24: The Park v Paulus Koer: The police officer was charged with two counts of biting resulting in injury at a PIFF after-after party on October 5.

October 27: The Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP), the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF), Runaway Rovers, Home to Roost, et al. v The Park and the Department of Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations: In the matter of Rule #7 and the restriction of the right to assemble and the right to exercise free speech at the annual Harvest Festival, the aforementioned groups request the overturning of the rule.

OTD in 2015—Slowly but surely, The Mammalian Daily is adding full bylines to its articles

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cat newspaperOur astute readers probably have noticed something new on The Mammalian Daily’s web site. And many of them might be saying to themselves, “It’s high time.”

Yes, dear readers, we have embarked on a road that will lead to complete transparency in our reporting within the next few years.

In doing so, however, we are not responding to our critics—many though they’ve been— so much as we are moving forward of our own volition toward a goal we’ve had for some time.

As I explained at a press conference almost six months ago to the day, The Mammalian Daily has had a longstanding policy of anonymous reporting. This policy constituted part of the terms of our journalists’ contracts and for that reason we could do nothing but wait, either for those contracts’ expiration or for our journalists to agree to a new policy.

We’ve been fortunate to have several of our veteran reporters agree to have their names (and, thus, their species, in many cases) appear in the paper. So, let me introduce you to this handful of TMD trailblazers whose work is much respected by Park citizens. They will be joined shortly by others of equal merit.

 

Aivis Burunduks, TMD PIFF Reporter

Renée Simone Canard, TMD Gossip Reporter

Elspeth Duper, TMD Social Events Reporter

Bergrún Íkorna, TMD Business Reporter

Jaakkima Kuikka, TMD Mental Health Reporter

Johan Slon, TMD Music Reporter

OTD in 2009—Popular Park restaurant shut down by health inspectors

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The popular Park restaurant, The Compost Heap, was shut down by health inspectors early this morning after several of its patrons fell ill on Tuesday.

Seven Animals, who describe themselves as “regulars” at the 24-hour eating establishment, reported feeling “violently ill” and were taken, separately, by the Elephant Emergency Brigade (EEB) to the Park Hospital. All were treated for gastrointestinal problems. Two Animals remain in hospital, while the other five have returned to their abodes.

According to Inspector Konrad Eule, head of The Park’s Commercial Food Safety Bureau (CFSB), the Animals fell ill several hours after ingesting food served at the restaurant. Inspector Eule said his agency, which has close ties to The Park’s Department of Well-Being and Safety, is treating the incident as a food safety issue unless it uncovers evidence of suspicious or criminal activity.

“We are currently investigating with regard to food preparation and storage, but we have sent samples to the laboratory for testing and we are on alert for signs of tampering,” he said at a press conference held this morning. He dismissed rumours that chemicals were found in the food and criticized such statements as “inflammatory and, generally, unhelpful.”

At the press conference, the restaurant’s manager, Winifred D. Raccoon, reading from a prepared statement, said that the restaurant “values its clientele beyond measure” and will do everything in its power to ensure that its food is safe. The restaurant’s owner, Gilbert Bartholomew Ratte, was not available for comment.

Asked whether the incident would affect The Park’s upcoming food festivals and other celebrations, the Inspector said he did not believe there was any reason to delay any events “unless and until we receive results that would prompt such action.” He warned, however, that even though most food establishments adhere to The Park’s strict safety code, Animals should always be vigilant when eating away from home.

OTD in 2016—Stan the Spitman speaks out about the use and misuse of his product at PIFF

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Park Interspecial Film FestivalLess than a week after the end of the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF), Stan the Spitman is speaking out about the unlawful use of his product at PIFF events.

In an op-ed piece published today in The Burro Beacon, Estanislao “Stan” Gonzalo de Llama condemned in no uncertain terms what some Animals did with his product at the film festival. And he let it be known that he intends to put a stop to it.

“I am proud of what I make and I don’t make it to be used to attack others, particularly others whose species or politics differ from my own,” he wrote in the newspaper.

The second generation SpitMeister (master of the art of spitmaking) was referring to the repeated use of spitballs at the screening of WINK, which opened the festival on October 1. Police charged twenty-one Animals with crimes of a specist nature after they threw spitballs at the director and other attendees as they entered the Park Cinema.

Although Stan has never condoned that sort of behaviour, he expressed a different view about it in Searching for the Spitman: A Journey Through Foam, Froth, and Fun, a film about his life that premiered at PIFF 2015.

In that film, he estimated that ninety per cent of his products go toward humiliating other Animals.

“It’s a fact of life in the profession,” he said. “But it doesn’t keep me up at night.”

In today’s o-ed piece, however, he said he’d changed his mind after witnessing events at this year’s festival.

“I can’t stand by and watch Animals use my product that way anymore,” he wrote. “It needs to stop.”

OTD in 2016—Harvest Festival organizers issue edict: no woes allowed

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Harvest FestivalIt’s official. The organizers of Tuesday’s Harvest Festival have issued an edict barring the advancement of any political or other agenda at this year’s event. And, in doing so, they claim to have the full backing of the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations.

The edict is in keeping with last year’s decision not to allow The Weather Makers, Producers and Sellers Alliance of The Park (WMPSAP) and the Society of Concerned Park Cultivators, Planters, Growers, and Farmers (SCPCPGF) to host information booths at the Autumn celebration.

In a statement released late yesterday afternoon, the organizers said the festival “forbids any Animal or organization of Animals to “establish a presence at the Festival for the purpose of disseminating information unrelated to the Festival and/or of advancing a political or social agenda.”

The statement concludes by saying that the Harvest Festival is meant to be a “happy” event, a “celebration of our work and of our bounty,” and that all Animals are entitled to feel “joy and safety there, no matter what their beliefs are.”

OTD in 2016—Officer charged with injuring Doe of Peace at PIFF after-after party

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Police Officer charged

FCSW officer Paulus Koer

A Park Police officer has been charged with two counts of biting after a member of The Park’s peacekeeping force was injured during an outbreak of violence at last night’s PIFF after-after party.

Witnesses say that Doe of Peace Rozmonda Ricke, was “just doing her job,” separating the crowd at The PurrBoy Café, when a member of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW) approached her from behind and pulled her tail.

According to Ricke, who has been a member of the Does since the group was founded in 2014, there was “no time” to look around to see what was happening.

“I was focused on my job, which was to de-escalate the violence that suddenly had erupted at the café,” she said in a sworn statement early this morning.

When she did not respond to the tail-pulling, Paulus Koer, the FCSW officer, allegedly bit her on the back in an attempt to stop her from walking through the crowd. According to his statement, the second bite was necessary because the alleged victim “paid no attention to my first warning.”

The FCSW officer will appear in court today, where a date for trial will be set.

FCSW president Gareth Shepherd is expected to hold a press conference later this afternoon.

OTD in 2014—Park Finance Officer mobbed at last night’s PIFF awards ceremony

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Park Interspecial Film FestivalPark Finance Officer Milton Struts was mobbed last night, according to witnesses, as he attempted to enter the Park Cinema for the Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) awards presentation.

Several attendees, some of whom were producers whose films were up for awards, said that four of the Guard Dogs stationed at the entrance had to intervene when a group representing the Small Animal Hibernating Community (SAHC) started to bite Struts as he passed by.

One witness said that some of the Animals pulled at Struts’s feathers, while another confirmed that “more than one” sent spitballs his way.

“They were hopping mad [about the budget] and they weren’t going to let him pass without letting him know,” said one source who wished to remain anonymous.

Other Animals claimed that Stan the Spit Man, whose signature slogan is “Spitballs from Heaven!” instigated the attack on Struts as a publicity stunt to promote his business.

“There was sort of a pop-up spit shop right behind the Park Cinema. I saw it,” said witness Konrad Eule.

Calls to Stan the Spit Man have not been answered directly, but through a spokesAnimal, Stan denied any involvement in the campaign against Struts.

“Stan the Spit Man does not involve himself in politics,” the spokesAnimal said. “Nor does he endorse the use of spitballs for political purposes.”

Struts, who was ushered into the Cinema for the awards presentation, was not seen exiting at the end of the evening. He is believed to have stayed at the Cinema until it was safe for him to be escorted home by Park Police.

OTD in 2015—TMD managing editor may bow to pressure on bylines: rumour

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Extra! Extra!

Something extra may be on its way: the names of Mammalian Daily journalists

Mammalian Daily managing editor Orphea Haas may be about to bow to pressure from rival Park media outlets to publish journalists’ names above their news reports.

According to a post on the gossip web site headsNtales, Haas has received counsel on the matter from a number of sources, including Nathan DiPressa, Executive Director of the Association of Non-Mammalian Park Newspapers (ANMPN).

In a Friday post, one of the web site’s “reporters” claims to have seen DiPressa leaving TMD headquarters late last Tuesday. DiPressa’s office refused to confirm the meeting, but an anonymous source at The Canary Courier said it was the third time in the last two weeks that DiPressa had been seen exiting the building.

For decades now, the newspaper has successfully defended its longstanding policy of keeping journalists’ names—and more importantly, their species—out of the paper. But that policy has gotten increasing attention in the last few years, with other media organizations demanding the same amount of transparency from The Mammalian Daily that they themselves are obliged to offer their audience.

At a print media conference held in August at the University of West Terrier’s Cuthbert School of Journalism, the number one issue for attendees was transparency.

“The era of anonymous reporting is over. If you are hiding your journalists’ identities, you are hiding their biases, and you are not being forthright with your readers,” DiPressa said at the time.

Even some who supported the policy in the past appear to have changed course with the passage of time.

UWT Professor Ludwiga Saimiri, who had praised The Mammalian Daily’s policy as recently as last year, appears to have had a change of heart.

As a guest on the Yannis Tavros show last week, the distinguished scholar and former director of the Centre for the Incorporation and Integration of Interspecial Values in Journalism (CIIIVJ) said the time had come for TMD to embrace transparency.

“Zoocracy and its attendant openness require it and I no longer see any harm in knowing the species of those who bring us the news,” she said. “The Mammalian Daily may be coming late to the party, but it’s one I believe they should make an effort to attend.”

OTD in 2013—Review: Shoot the Messenger

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TMD Backstage Pass PIFF 2013

DETAILS

Director
George Angus Doo

Actors
Eamon Colm
Gerlinde Taube
Natalia Paloma
Agostinho Pombo
Cynthia Offam (Human)
Derek Columbo (Human)
Winston Blackman (Human)

Screenings
October 1, 8:00 pm, Park Cinema
October 4, 5:00 pm, Park Cinema

Runtime
85 minutes

THREE minutes into George Angus Doo’s latest film, Shoot the Messenger, the screen goes dark. In the silence, the viewer is left to ponder what has just occurred: a shot fired into the brightly lit sky, the loud thumping noise that follows, the sound of boots running across grass and fallen leaves in the swamp-like environment.

When light and action return to the screen, we face six Humans at trial, recalling those elements from the witness stand. To his credit, Doo reveals little about the location of the court and the crime; the alleged perpetrators, plaintiff, judge and jury stand as EveryHuman or AnyHuman. But the trial is not an indictment of that species; rather, it is an examination of the complicated relationship between Doo’s own species — the Pigeon — and Humans. In many ways, as Doo said earlier this year, that relationship is “one of mutual respect and dependence.” But this film is less celebratory of that aspect than it is revelatory of the conflict, fed by ignorance, that is an integral part of the interactions between Pigeons and Humans.

The sportsmen at trial know very little, if anything, about the species they shoot at for sport. They have read no history and, therefore, feel no moral obligation to a species that has saved countless Human lives. As a result, they are puzzled by their obligation to appear in court and angered by the charges of wrongdoing.

“What kind of world is this now?” one of the accused asks aloud. It is not a rhetorical question. The world in which he grew up, he tells the court, was one in which shooting and hunting were respected activities.

“Now, what is it that we’re supposed to do?” he asks earnestly.

The film does not answer this question or any others; instead, it presents the accused and the viewer with even more questions as it explores not only the fraught relationship between the two species but that among Humans, themselves.

In this 2013 Winkie Award-winning film, Doo does a remarkable job of preserving the dignity of the characters while indicting and convicting the real perpetrator of the crime: ignorance.

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