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OTD in 2010—Groundhog Day violence eclipses Archons’ message of hope

February 3, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

One of the Animals jailed after Groundhog Day violence

An outbreak of violence during an otherwise peaceful demonstration threatened to mar Groundhog Day festivities and overshadow the message of hope and renewal delivered by the Archons in their annual address.

The demonstration, which was held to protest The Park’s policy of open immigration, began outside the Law Courts at approximately 08:30, just minutes after the Archons concluded their address.

Participants described the demonstration as “initially peaceful,” until a particularly aggressive groups of Animals, wielding heavy placards, hijacked the cause and “beat up on the [other] participants.”

“It got ugly pretty quick,” said Randall Rhinoceros, a protester who was taken to the Park Hospital with injuries to his feet and snout.

While hundreds of Animals were treated for their injuries as a result of the violence, there are reports that some injured Animals were hauled off to jail before they received any treatment at all. Some of those involved blame the Guard Dogs for a substantial number of the injuries that were incurred in the demonstration.

“They were too quick off the mark, as far as I’m concerned,” said Yvonne Aardvark. “They didn’t wait to find out who was causing the trouble. They just rounded everybody up and sent them to jail.”

An investigation into the incident is underway, according to The Park’s Chief Officer of Peace, Raymond H. Mink.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction

IT’S AN EARLY SPRING!

February 2, 2024 By Endla Metsümiseja, TMD Groundhog Day Reporter

2024 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS), Cornelius P. Groundhog, made the prediction this morning at at 8:07!

Filed Under: Breaking News

Click!

February 1, 2024 By Elspeth Duper, TMD Social Events Reporter

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction

OTD in 2016—Focus On: Archons’ Address

February 1, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Annual Archons' Address

Why is the Archons’ address so important?

The observation of Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts record crowds annually.

But modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well. Park citizens, eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address, the first speech given by the 35 newly-selected Archons.

Let’s focus on the Archons’ address.

THE ARCHONS: WHO ARE THEY?
Each cohort of thirty-five Archons constitutes The Park’s government for a period of one year. The individual Archons hail from every species of citizen in The Park and they are chosen each year through the process known as sortition (lottery).

While their names are announced on January 15, they make their first appearance before The Park’s citizenry on January 16, the day on which they are sworn in. After the ceremony, the Archons go into seclusion and are neither seen nor heard from until Groundhog Day on February 2.

HOW DO THEY DECIDE WHAT TO SAY IN THEIR ADDRESS?
During those sixteen days, the Archons have a chance to get to know each other and to discover each other’s attitudes and opinions regarding the direction in which The Park should move. Economic, social, and health-related issues are the subject of robust discussion and it is through this process of discussion and debate that the Archons develop their agenda for the year.

Ideally, this agenda (which literally means “things to be done”) should address Park citizens’ most pressing needs and concerns. When the governing collective has made its final decision on the important issues that it will address during its tenure, it is ready to draft the Groundhog Day speech.

WHY THE SPEECH IS IMPORTANT TO PARK CITIZENS
Park citizens know virtually nothing about the members of their new government, even as they watch them being sworn in. While many may be acquainted with them personally, it is not likely they know with any certainty where these Animals stand on the important issues that face The Park.

As the Chief Archon reads the speech, she or he reveals the concerns and beliefs of the governing collective and lays the groundwork for the changes that it will attempt to make over the coming year.

That is why the Archons’ address, given on Groundhog Day, is so important to Park citizens.

WHAT PARK ANIMALS ARE LISTENING FOR
The Archons’ address does more than simply list a number of items that are of concern to the Archons or that they hope to act on during their tenure. The speech sets the tone for the new administration and for the relationship it will have with Park citizens.

What Park Animals are listening for are indications that the Archons are not only in tune with their concerns but that they will be open to input from the citizenry. Most who reside in The Park would agree that this is what makes good government.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Focus on, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Archons' address, government

OTD in 2016—UWT receives funds for new study of premature awakening from hibernation

January 31, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

UWT COATThanks to an anonymous donor, the University of West Terrier will be able to fund a third study into the causes of premature awakening from hibernation.

In an announcement on the University’s web site, the President and Governors thanked the “anonymous donor whose generosity and empathy knows no bounds.”

“The University is deeply grateful for the funding and wishes to thank the anonymous donor whose generosity and empathy knows no bounds. We are confident that your generous donation will save countless lives and your effort on behalf of hibernators will become a shining example of the power of interspecial caring,” the announcement said.

The donation, which came via the Foundation for the Study of Premature Awakening will fund a thirty-six-month project. The project leaders and venues have yet to be announced, but it is believed that the bulk of the research will be done at the University’s School of Medicine.

The University’s full announcement can be read here.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Health and Medicine Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, #medical research, hibernation, University of West Terrier

OTD in 2016—Park shops get green light to stay open Groundhog Eve, Groundhog Day

January 30, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Groundhog Day specialsIn a stunning reversal of its longstanding policy, The Park Finance Office has given businesses the green light to remain open late on Groundhog Eve and into the early afternoon on Groundhog Day.

The news was announced simultaneously this morning by PFO head Valentina Abeja and by Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).

In a separate announcement, Whistlepig praised Abeja for her willingness to listen and for her “forward thinking.”

“We are extremely pleased that the PFO has listened to our concerns and shifted its position on this issue. Groundhog Eve and Groundhog Day are not just a time for us to come together and celebrate. They hold enormous economic potential and we are grateful to the PFO’s forward thinking head for the opportunity to demonstrate that fact,” Whistlepig wrote.

In a radio interview this morning, Abeja said her decision to change the policy was based on practicality.

“In the past, we believed that if we allowed our shops to stay open, it would somehow take something away from the celebration of Groundhog Day. But after significant study of the issue, we came to the conclusion that that would not be the case,” she said.

Abeja also stressed the need for the PFO to view economic issues through the eyes of those on “the front lines of business.”

“It is our job to support Park business, not to stand in the way of opportunity.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, business, Park shops and services

OTD in 2013—Focus on: Groundhog Day

January 29, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

A major Park occasion, Groundhog Day has its roots deep in the Animal tradition of weather prognostication. The Park’s elaborate, all-day celebration of this important day attracts hundreds of thousands of Animals annually. And modern Park life has endowed the day with a political significance, as well: Park citizens and residents, who are eager to discover what the new year has in store for them, await the annual Archons’ address—the first official speech given by the thirty-five newly-selected Archons.

ORIGIN AND HISTORY
In the beginning, there was the Groundhog. One of The Park’s founding families, the Groundhogs staked out their territory in the prairie lands of The Park long before zoocracy was established.

As more Animals began to inhabit The Park, the Groundhogs settled into their rôle as Park Elders. Oftentimes, it was the Groundhogs who were consulted in Park matters, particularly those of weatherly import.

The First Prediction
The first prediction of weather in The Park was made on 2 February, 65 BZ (Before Zoocracy), by E. Bromley Groundhog. It was a casual prediction, made without fanfare, outside E. Bromley’s burrow. He predicted an early Spring. The Spring of 65 BZ arrived on 5 March. The present year is 2022 (40 AZ — After Zoocracy).

The Tradition
The following year, E. Bromley Groundhog made another prediction on 2 February. It, too, was an accurate prediction. In short order, it became an informal Winter tradition for Park Animals who were not hibernating to call on E. Bromley at his burrow in early February in order to hear his prediction for the coming Spring.

This went on until 57 BZ, when a delegation of Animals attended at E. Bromley’s burrow, only to discover that the venerable Groundhog had succumbed to old age. The delegation, at a loss for what to do, quickly appointed E. Bromley’s daughter and son to the post of “predictors.” In alternate years, the Groundhogs served as accurate “predictors,” until their children took over the job.

Eventually, the growing number of E. Bromley’s descendants caused there to be competition for the respected post of “predictor.” The Groundhogs began to engage in territorial wars and slanderous campaigns. In order to quell the rising tide of Groundhog anger, Park Archons decided to establish the title of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) and to award it, every year, to their own choice of E. Bromley’s descendants.

The Controversy
Animals evolve. Politics evolve. New blood refreshes tired, old organs, old assumptions no longer seem viable, and old rules no longer hold sway. In 2003 (21 AZ), a group that called itself “Spring’s Unsprung Heroes” brought forth a legal challenge to The Park’s age-old practice of awarding the job of Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) to the descendants of E. Bromley Groundhog.

The Decision
In his landmark decision in that case, Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon of The Park’s Superior Court wrote that “The Park’s current practice [of awarding the job on the basis of heritage] is unacceptable in a modern Park.”

Peabody Q. Groundhog was allowed to fulfill his duties as 2003 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring. Thereafter, the Judge ruled, the position would be decided in an open election held every year on 7 November. The date of 7 November was chosen as the date of the election because it allowed sufficient time for the winner to make preparations before the official hibernation date of 17 November.

Groundhog Day Today
Much has changed since the first elections were held for Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS). Since 2006, The Park has welcomed the candidacy of Animals of other species and many believe it is only a matter of time before a non-Groundhog POPS makes the all-important prediction on February 2.

From the Personal to the Political
Groundhog Day has been an important occasion and a full-day holiday in The Park for many years. But, in 2005 (23AZ), the newly-selected Archons chose The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations as the venue for their first official speech. Since that time, each new set of Archons has chosen to reveal its plans for the coming year in a speech given by the Chief Archon at the Groundhog Day celebrations.

Further Reading
For more information on The Park’s Groundhogs, we recommend:

Me and My Shadow: A Groundhog’s Memoirs
by Nigel T. Groundhog
Birch Bark Books, 200 pages

From The Mammalian Daily’s review
“This is not a book about family pride… It is a deeply-felt and honestly-written portrayal of the trials of Animal migration, of the pain and loneliness of specism, and of the exquisite joy of success and acceptance after many years of frustration. In a Beaverlike fashion, the author gnaws away at Groundhog stereotypes and lays bare for us the burden that is borne by the prescient mammal.”

For the full review, click here.

The archival material used in the preparation of this article was made available to The Mammalian Daily by the Association of Distinct Hibernating Animals of The Park (ADHAP). We thank them for their generosity. We also gratefully acknowledge the assistance of members of The Park Historical Society, Gertrude C. Owl, Dean of the Cuthbert School of Journalism, University of West Terrier, the Department of History, University of West Terrier, and the Idiosyncratic Hibernators of The Park (IHOP).

Filed Under: Breaking News, Focus on, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction

OTD in 2016—ZEAL calls for full investigation into dispute over Gourami Archonship

January 28, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

ZEALPopular Park singer ZEAL has called for a full investigation into the dispute over Zafran Gourami’s Archonship.

On January 16, Gourami was sworn in as an Archon after being selected through the usual procedure of sortition. Ten days later, a Form 15C was submitted to the Department of Political Administration (DPA) disputing Gourami’s eligibility to serve.

ZEAL took to TMD Radio this morning to call on all Park Animals to “dispute this dispute.”

“This is an outrage and the reason for this dispute is obvious,” he said. “Gourami is a striped Fish and this is just another example of the subtle ways in which striped and spotted Animals experience prejudice and unequal treatment in The Park.”

To further his cause, ZEAL initiated a petition calling for the DPA to nullify the dispute and to move on with the business of governing The Park. The first to sign the petition was award-winning film director, Douglas Cheetah; the second was Momoko Yamaneko, Editor-in-Chief of Prionailurus Press.

Cheetah’s signature came as no surprise. Last year, he announced that he had lost faith in sortition altogether and believed that free elections were “the only path to true equality among the species.”

As for Yamaneko, she has become a vocal supporter of striped and spotted Animals and announced in April that her company would be showcasing the work of these writers.

The Department of Political Administration has not responded to ZEAL nor acknowledged the petition. DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi confirmed on Tuesday that a panel will review the reasons for the dispute and render a decision by February 1.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Politics/Law/Crime, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: government, Park politics, political administration, sortition

OTD in 2017—Fleck + Stone to host information session on 2017 Prognostication Pad

January 27, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Groundhog Day celebrationsFleck + Stone, the high-end architectural firm hired by The Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations to design and build the 2017 prognostication pad, will host an information session for Park residents this weekend.

In a short press release this morning, the firm’s Chief Architect, Vadim Kobras, invited all Park residents to the information session which will be held on Saturday afternoon at the Ancient Open-Air Theatre.

“It is of utmost importance to the Fleck + Stone team that Park residents be in possession of all the facts surrounding the 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad,” the press release said. “We will be happy to answer any questions about the design and execution of this important piece of equipment.”

Although it didn’t directly address the controversy over the assumed high cost of the pad, the press release did imply that Park residents would see its value:

“The Fleck + Stone team is incredibly proud of the work it has done to help celebrate Groundhog Day in this very special year. We are confident that Park residents will be receptive to our design and will appreciate its uniqueness.”

The press release cum invitation ended with the words, “We were honoured to have been chosen for this job and we remain committed to supporting The Park and zoocracy in any way we can.” It was signed by the Chief Architect, himself.

According to sources close to the firm, Kobras will speak generally about the pad and building materials and go over some of the designs the team considered before fixing on the one that was built. No illustrations of the actual pad will be revealed, but Kobras is said to have also prepared a talk that deals with the history and significance of the prognostication pad.

The final design will be revealed in the early morning hours of Groundhog Day.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: #GroundhogDay, Fleck+Stone, prognostication pad

OTD in 2016—Department of Political Administration confirms Gourami Archonship in dispute

January 26, 2024 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

Form 15CThe Department of Political Administration (DPA) confirmed today that it is reviewing the selection of 2016 Archon Zafran Gourami.

In a statement issued this morning, DPA spokesAnimal Antoinette Fourmi said that one Form 15C was submitted yesterday. The department’s statement did not name the Animal who submitted the form.

In accordance with Section 127, subsection XIII, of The Park’s Constitution, Park citizens who wish to contest the selection of any Archon or Archons may do so by submitting a formal contest form (Form 15C) to the Department of Political Administration by January 31.

Although this law has existed since the institution of #sortition, very few Form 15Cs have been submitted. In an interview this morning on the Yannis Tavros show, Fourmi said that in the past ten years, the DPA has received only seven Form 15Cs.

“And, of those, only one resulted in a change of Archon,” she said.

Zafran Gourami was sworn in as Archon on January 16, 2016. The reasons for the dispute will be reviewed by a panel that will include members of the DPA, Chief Archon Raymond H. Mink and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. The final decision will be rendered by a majority vote. Should a reason be found to replace Gourami, that replacement will be sworn in on February 1.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: #dispute, #parkpoli, Archons, government, sortition

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