The Mammalian Daily

Satirical fiction in newspaper form

Lovely to look at - Book by Noreen

Park Museum’s EDAM Gala sells out

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GALA TICKET final

If you were thinking of buying a ticket to tonight’s gala celebration of Holstein Fashion’s EDAM Collection, The Park Museum has some bad news for you: the event has sold out.

The Board of Governors made the announcement on the museum’s web site yesterday. But if you still have your heart set on attending, you have one last chance to obtain a ticket: according to the web announcement, any returned tickets will be sold at the museum’s entrance at 6:00 p.m. The event begins at 8:00 p.m.

Read the full announcement here.

EDAM statistics show how economy affects Animals’ view of domestication

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EDAM statsIt’s been almost a month since Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) wrapped up and the statistics are now in.[pullquote]Animals are tired and they have a fairytale view of the domestic world, replete with an abundance of food, cozy beds, and non-stop playtime. That’s the view that Humans have given us but it isn’t the reality.”—Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon, Park psychotherapist [/pullquote]

In a short statement that accompanied their release this morning, the Departments of Well-Being and Safety and Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations expressed their “heartfelt gratitude to all who participated in the event, and especially to those who worked tirelessly to make it the most comprehensive and inclusive EDAM so far.”

According to the statistics, attendance at the event was up by twenty-seven per cent, with attendee satisfaction at an all-time high.

But there is one statistic that is alarming: thirty-eight per cent of Animals who answered the exit survey said they thought domestication wasn’t always a bad thing. That number is up significantly from last year’s twenty-two per cent and experts believe it reflects our economic struggles.

“Animals are tired,” says Dr. Gudrun L. Gibbon, a Park psychotherapist who is also on staff at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic. “I think we underestimate the work that is involved in zoocracy and the toll that looking after ourselves takes.”

Dr. Gibbon says it’s “only natural” that the fantasy of domestication would, from time to time, appeal to Park Animals.

“They have a fairytale view of the domestic world, replete with an abundance of food, cozy beds, and non-stop playtime. That’s the view that Humans have given us but it isn’t the reality,” she says.

Despite domesticity’s occasional appeal, Dr. Gibbon doesn’t believe Park Animals would either seek it out or allow themselves to be domesticated.

“Park Animals are smarter than that. I have faith in Park Animals,” she says.

Park Museum to present Holstein Fashion’s EDAM Collection

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Penguin in Holstein Fashion outfit

From Holstein Fashion’s EDAM Collection: “Spots and Stripes Forever”

The Park Museum announced today that it is collaborating with Holstein Fashion to present the company’s EDAM Collection as part of a new exhibition.

In a post on the museum’s web site, the Board of Governors said Dorika Pumi, head curator of the museum’s art gallery, will work closely with Holstein Fashion and Designs by Holstein to present the fashion house’s creations “in context.”

Entitled, Creations from the EDAM Collection, the exhibition “will shine a light on the plight of those who experience enforced domestication,” the post says.

The designs of the EDAM Collection were commissioned exclusively for The Park’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month. The creations will be showcased with written commentary and the museum plans to invite experts in the field of enforced domestication, extinction anxiety, and interspecial relations to conduct seminars and Q & A sessions during the exhibition.

According to the web post, Creations from the EDAM Collection will open on August 1, 2016.

To read the full announcement, click here.

Holstein Fashion adds third show to EDAM lineup

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Holstein Fashion Show for EDAM Holstein Fashion announced today that the company will add a third fashion show to the lineup of events for Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM).

At a press gathering this morning, company president Balbina Ko told reporters the first show on June 10 was so successful that they decided to add a third one on June 24. The next show is scheduled for Wednesday, June 22.

“It was hovering-room only, and at a venue as big as the Ancient, Open-Air Theatre, that’s surprising,” Ko said. “We were overwhelmed, not only by the positive response to our initiative but by the support of our charity, EQUALSS.”

The fashion show, which is meant to highlight the perils of domestication, is free of charge but the company is accepting donations to its charity EQUALSS at the theatre’s entrance. The charity, which was established in April of 2015, supports the full equality of striped and spotted Animals in The Park.

None of the original designs in the fashion show are for sale, but Ko was asked during the press gathering whether the company has considered auctioning them off for their charity.

“That hasn’t been discussed, but it’s a good idea. I’ll take it under advisement,” she said.

Enforced Domestication Awareness Month 2016: Official Schedule of Events

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June 2016 calendar with black cat silhouette

The Archons, in conjunction with the Department of Well-Being and Safety and the Department of Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations have released the official schedule for 2016’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM).

To access the Official Schedule, click here: EDAM OFFICIAL SCHEDULE 2016.

The schedule was released early this morning, accompanied by a press release in which all three groups emphasized the importance of the month. thanked all organizers and participants for their “tireless efforts on behalf of The Park’s citizenry”and wished all Park residents “joy, peace, and awareness.”

“The importance of this month cannot be understated. The knowledge that is imparted during EDAM can and will save thousands of lives and will allow those who have escaped enforced domestication to understand themselves and the world better and to lead peaceful and fulfilling lives,” the statement said.

Designs by Holstein fashion show will highlight perils of domestication

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Holstein FashionDesigns by Holstein announced today that it will host a fashion show during The Park’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM).

At a press event this morning, company president and CEO Balbina Ko confirmed that she had been in talks for the past year with the Archons, the Department of Well-Being and Safety and the Department of Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations about her company’s participation in the event.

“They were enthusiastic but didn’t at first understand how our company could fit in with their theme,” she admitted.

Ko assured them the show would not be an advertisement for her business but would, instead, highlight the perils of domestication for all Animals.

“We put our company’s best and most forward-thinking designers on this project and none of the items in the show is for sale. That was a decision we made in August,” Ko said, even though plans for their participation were only finalized in March.

“As you can see, we are optimists,” Ko laughed. “And we are honoured to be able to share that optimism with the rest of The Park during Enforced Domestication Awareness Month.”

The fashion show will run twice during the month-long awareness event. And while the show will be free of charge, Ko said said she hopes all attendees will consider making a donation to EQUALSS, the charity established by Holstein Fashion, the parent company of Designs by Holstein. EQUALSS supports the full equality of striped and spotted Animals (as well as others) in The Park.

Typos rule: Moth new face of Enforced Domestication Awareness Month

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Enforced Domestication Moth

It’s official: Nicoletta Moth becomes Enforced Domestication Awareness Month Ambassador

First, it was the missing letter in “Beasts” that turned the annual charity music festival into the “Beats of Burden.” Then, it was the Does of Peace, The Park’s newest peacekeeping group and 2015 Mammalian Daily Animals of the Year.

Now, the organizers of June’s Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM) have named the campaign’s first official ambassador. And she’s a Moth.

“We couldn’t believe it happened again,” Hercule Parrot told The Mammalian Daily yesterday.

The 2012 Chitter Radio Literary Award winner and part-time mentor at BirdBrains, The Park’s first Avian mentoring programme, joined the campaign’s organizing committee just this year. And it was his responsibility to find an ambassador for the month-long campaign.

“Don’t get me wrong. I was in no way disappointed in those who applied nor in our final choice. In fact, I wish I had thought of it myself. Moths are, of course, a species that suffers enforced domestication and exploitation and they’ve been underrepresented in our campaign and I’m sorry for that. But, of course, I was puzzled at first by the applications we received, until I took a look at our advertisement. And there it was: Moth instead of Month.”

After interviewing what Parrot calls an “amazing” number of Moths, he settled on one he says “stood out among the rest in terms of intelligence, talent, and commitment.” And her name is Nicoletta Moth.

A comedian and Animal impersonator, Moth’s most recent gig was at The Howler, where she performed for a packed house.

“I was there,” Parrot said, admitting that as an imitator himself, he wanted to see what another species could do.

“She was amazing, particularly as a Tarantula. Her Wasp is better known, but her Tarantula and Praying Mantis are to die for,” he said.

Moth will be putting her performing career on hold for the month of June this year and each year for the next three.

“We feel extremely grateful that she accepted our offer,” Parrot says. “She’ll do a world of good for enforced domestication awareness.”

The Park Museum presents…”The Wall”

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Dorika Pumi, curator at The Park Museum, has produced a simple yet powerful piece entitled, “Pet Project: Monikers of Domestication,” to honour Enforced Domestication Awareness Month in The Park:

Pumi used one whole museum wall at the west side of the main building, as the backdrop for the video.

“There is no voiceover or commentary,” Pumi emphasizes. “The video speaks for itself.”

“The Wall,” as Pumi refers to it, will be on display at the museum until the end of the year.

Yannis Tavros in hot water again, after “temptsters in the teapot” remark

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YannisTavros It didn’t take long for The Park’s most notorious radio talk show host to find himself at the centre of another controversy.

During the call-in portion of his weekday talk show on Thursday, Tavros interrupted a caller who was talking about Enforced Domestication Awareness Month to put forth a theory that not all his listeners, nor all Park Animals, liked.

“What is happening here seems so simple to figure out,” Tavros opined. “Park life is just too difficult for a lot of Animals. And I think that’s the reason so many who have escaped domestic situations return to them. I call them ‘temptsters’. Tempted by the freedom that Park life offers, but only temporary residents because they are either unable or unwilling to do the work that zoocracy demands. What we have here is a case of temptsters stirring up the teapot,” he said.

When the caller on the other end hung up, Tavros saw it as a green light to continue:

“And I think we need to rethink our immigration policy and put a cap on the resources we use helping the formerly-domesticated to adjust to Park life. It may not be for all Animals,” he concluded.

No sooner had the words exited his mouth than the radio station’s phones lit up, social media went wild, and Tavros found himself involved in yet another imbroglio.

Within ten minutes of his uttering the remark, Toro Talk Radio had taken Tavros off the air and filled the remaining hour with “The Best of Yannis.”

Soon thereafter, an online petition began circulating, calling for both an apology from Tavros and his resignation. The petition was initiated and signed by a number of The Park’s immigrant aid groups and charities, including Runaway Rovers, Cats Care, Home to Roost, the Tortoise Immigrant Aid and Mentor Programme, and LynxLink.

The radio station, thus far, has made no formal statement regarding the incident.

Enforced Domestication Awareness Month: The Official Schedule of Events

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The Archons, in conjunction with the Department of Well-Being and Safety and the Department of Holidays, Festivals and Celebrations are pleased to release the following Official Schedule of Events for the June 2015 Enforced Domestication Awareness Month:

[table]
Date,Event,Location
6/1-30, It Could Happen To You: Tools of Domestication Exhibit and Recorded Presentation, Park Museum,
6/1-30, Domestication in the Piscine World: Interactive Exhibit,University of West Terrier Underwater Campus
6/1-30, Collar and Tag Surrender and Exchange, Footpad Heaven
6/2, Domestic Poetry Reading, The Squeakeasy
6/ 6,“Super Goof” comic launch ,New Harmony Theatre
6/8, Experts Live Panel Discussion (participants to be announced), University of West Terrier
6/9, Squeakeasy in the Afternoon: Victims’ Stories Noon-5, The Squeakeasy
6/ 9, Domestic Poetry Reading, The Squeakeasy
6/10,The Psychological Effects of Domestication: Panel Discussion/Q & A, Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm
6/12, Tab Tricolore hosts All You Can Eat Free, The Tabby Club & The Broop ‘n Miaow
6/13, Karaoke Night for The Domesticated Blues hosted by The Cynics, The Pound Gastropub
6/15, Advice for the Formerly Domesticated: Medical Updates plus Q & A, Extinction Anxiety Clinic
6/16, Domestic Poetry Reading, The Squeakeasy
6/18, Dear Noreen: Is All Domestication Enforced?, University of West Terrier
June 19-21, LeTwiggery Avian Event: Come in and get your coupon for a free Ready-to-Feather™ Nest!, LeTwiggery
6/21, Concert of Celebration, The Draft
06/22, Holstein Fashion for EQUALSS: 50% off Spring inventory; lots of free items; get your “I Love My Stripes and Spots” button; coupon for free 3-course meal at The Tabby Club, Footpad Heaven
6/23, Domestic Poetry Reading, The Squeakeasy
6/25-26, Victims’ Stories (register at DWBS to tell your story), Ancient Open-Air Theatre
6/28, Time for Inspiration: Free tour of Imogen Aardeekhoorn’s burrow, The Burrow Theatre
6/30, Concert for Charity (Purchase The Feral Four’s new single TNR. All proceeds go to CatsCare) , Ancient Open-Air Theatre
6/30, Concert After-Party, The PurrBoy Café@The Park Museum

[/table]

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