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Park Police, citizen aid workers say they want to meet with Tab Tricolore

February 12, 2015 By TMD Crime Reporters

FCSW President Gareth Shepherd

Gareth Shepherd: “Tab could be immensely helpful to us.”

Members of several branches of The Park’s police force and a number of citizen aid and action organizations have expressed an interest in meeting with Tab Tricolore, the renowned chef, restaurateur, and award-winning author who returned to The Park in December, three weeks after being abducted outside The Park.

“We are seeking information in a few key areas, particularly information that relates to certain groups of individuals who live outside The Park and we feel that Tab could be immensely helpful to us in that regard,” says Gareth Shepherd, a 18-year veteran of the force and president of the Federation of Canine Security Workers (FCSW).

Inspector Maurice Addax of the Specist and Hate Crimes Unit and Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit also said they plan to request a meeting with Tricolore “at his convenience.”

“It’s entirely up to him, of course, but we would very much appreciate the opportunity to ask him a few questions,” Fossa says.

No official police representative has been in touch directly with Tricolore yet, however, Fossa said.

Also interested in meeting with the chef are members of a number of The Park’s immigrant and refugee aid organizations and other Animal associations.

“We want to find out, to the extent that it is possible, whether his [Tab’s] stripes had anything to do with his disappearance,” says Aiofe Badger, who is president of the Sisters and  Brothers of the Narrow Band.

Keeva Moffatt, president of The Park’s Spotted Skunk Sedan Patrol says her group would also like to meet with Tab.

“If he was abducted because he is a tabby, this could affect us, too, in the future,” she says.

Other groups, including Home to Roost and Runaway Rovers say they would like to have a general meeting with the chef to share their joint knowledge and experience.

Tricolore was abducted on December 2, on one of his regular trips outside The Park to source ingredients for his fine dining restaurant, Klo. He returned on December 25, but the usually bombastic  and outspoken Feline has kept a low profile ever since.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life Tagged With: abduction, police, stripes, Tab Tricolore, tabby, TNR

Archons move on budget, appoint new head of Park Finance Office

February 11, 2015 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

Bee 2012 A1

Valentina Abeja has signed on to be PFO head for next two years

Moving swiftly on the matter of preparing a budget for the current year, the 2015 Archons announced today that Valentina Abeja will assume the rôle of head of the Park Finance Office for at least the next two years.

At a press conference held this morning, the Archons’ press secretary Balthasar Alouatta confirmed the appointment, saying, “The 2015 Archons and the Park Finance Office are delighted that Valentina Abeja has agreed to take on the onerous task of preparing a suitable budget for The Park. We will welcome her officially on February 15th and we look forward to working with her.”

Abeja, Alouatta emphasized, arrives with impressive credentials.

“She has significant financial as well as Animal skills,” he said, “having she spent the past few years working as an analyst at The Park’s All Species Credit and Commercial Bank (ASCCB).”

Abeja will succeed Milton Struts, whose tenure lasted more than six years, but who was relieved of his duties this past November after a series of scandals related to his allegedly accepting food from Humans and using his position of influence to encourage Human tourism in The Park. Struts is currently the subject of an investigation headed by Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon.

See also:

Reaction to 2015 “streamlined” budget: from outrage to high praise
Struts out; new budget to be tabled in November 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Park Life Tagged With: 2015 budget, finance office

Barkettes to honour Tartan Crab with free concert at Memorial Pond

February 8, 2015 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Tartan Crab Memorial Pond

The Tartan Crab Memorial Pond: site of the Barkettes’ free concert this Spring

Thisbe and the Barkettes will honour the Tartan Crab this Spring by holding a free concert at the memorial pond that bears his name.

In a statement released this morning, the group’s manager Hilde Blaft confirmed that the group made a specific request that a free concert be held at the Pond to honour the victim of The Park’s most famous unsolved murder.

The Tartan Crab, who was Nestor’s pet, was brutally murdered eleven years ago and his body was found on the walkway in front of the Reek-o-Rama. Although several Animals, the majority of whom were Canines, were brought in for questioning, Police still have no idea who the perpetrator of the crime was.

Nestor, whom some regard as The Park’s greatest poet. never spoke of the murder and declined to be interviewed over the course of his life.

A date has not yet been set for the concert at the Tartan Crab Memorial Pond.


See also:
Tartan Crab found ripped to pieces; Domestic Dogs held for questioning
New evidence emerges in Crab murder investigation

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: concert, memorial pond, tartan crab

Groundhog Day roundup: Record turnout, new budget in the works

February 4, 2015 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Walmond Murmeltier

2015 POPS Walmond Murmeltier emerges from his burrow on February 2

It was a groundbreaking celebration, in more ways than one. Here are a few tidbits to round up the day:

  • According to the Department of Holidays, Festivals, and Celebrations, this year’s official Groundhog Day event was the best attended in Park history. A record number of Animals, ranging in age from newborn Bears to some of our oldest reptile citizens, graced us with their presence
  • For the first time in over a decade, ill health kept chief organizer Wyatt Whistlepig, Jr. from the celebrations. In his stead, Oscar Woodchuck did a fine job
  • Eight different food providers staffed the food stations
  • This was the first Groundhog Day celebration that included a dance choreographed specifically for the event by Herman Stoat
  • For the first time in the history of the event, a short play was performed by the Working Wounded Performing Arts Company
  • The Archons’ Address lasted 17 minutes and included a tribute to Jor, the founder of zoocracy
  • The 2015 Archons promised to bring in a budget in the first two months of their tenure and to make the issue of inequality among the species a priority
  • The Park’s Early Risers hosted their own after-party and Animals partied into the late morning hours of February 3
  • Twenty-one injuries were reported as a result of the celebration. Four Animals were taken to hospital and seventeen were treated on-site

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life Tagged With: Groundhog Day, roundup

It’s an early Spring for 2015!

February 2, 2015 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Walmond Murmeltier

Walmond Murmeltier: An early Spring!

BREAKING NEWS
It will be an early Spring in 2015!

At 8:07 this morning, surrounded by his fellow citizens, 2015 Park Official Prognosticator of Spring (POPS) Walmond Murmeltier, made the prediction.

More to come.

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life Tagged With: Groundhog Day, prediction

Early Risers to host after-party following official Groundhog Day celebrations

January 31, 2015 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Early Rise fireworks

The Early Risers will host an after-party beginning at 20:30 on Monday night

For the first time in history,  The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations will not end with the 2-kilometre tunnel race or the closing of the food stations.

The Park’s Early Risers — hibernators who choose to end their hibernation on Groundhog Day rather than on the official date of February 19 — will be hosting an after-party on Monday.

In the announcement-invitation issued this morning, a spokesAnimal for the group said the party will start at 20:30, a half-hour after the official celebrations end.

“All are invited and all are welcome. We’re going to make some noise and celebrate the beginning of another year!” the announcement said.

According to the Department of Statistics and Records, Early Risers constitute approximately eight percent of The Park’s hibernating community.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Park Life Tagged With: early risers, Groundhog Day

Noreen to join TMD commentating crew at Groundhog Day celebrations

January 30, 2015 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

Official Noreen

Noreen will report from The Park’s Groundhog Day celebrations

Noreen will be joining The Mammalian Daily’s commentating crew as they tweet live from The Park’s annual Groundhog Day celebrations.

The Mammalian Daily advice columnist, who will resume her duties at the newspaper in mid-February, says she is “thrilled” to have the opportunity to connect with celebrants at the event as well as with those at home.

“Groundhog Day is one of the most important days on The Park’s calendar. I feel privileged to have been asked to communicate the wonder of it all through social media,” she said in a statement released today.

The columnist, who is also adjunct professor of Human Studies at the University of West Terrier, has been on leave since November. She has been promoting her book, Lovely To Look At, outside The Park and said in a radio interview last week that she intends to write about her experiences as soon as she gets back to work.

Follow the Groundhog Day celebrations on Twitter!


 

lovely-to-look-at-front-coverClick on the picture to order Noreen’s book today!

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Media, Park Life Tagged With: Groundhog Day, Lovely To Look At, Noreen

Nesthetics designer dishes on “shadow boxing” and “Groundhog Day nerves”

January 29, 2015 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Pencils“Shadow boxing” is not a term you would expect to hear from the head designer of one of The Park’s most innovative construction companies. Nevertheless, while pecking away at a sketch, Romulus Bowerbird insists on explaining the concept to me as it applies to the 2015 Groundhog Day prognostication pad: “You have to make sure you don’t contain the shadow … box it in,” he says. “That can lead to an inaccurate prognostication which, as we have seen in the past, can cause ongoing problems. You have to let the shadow spread … the most important thing is to make sure that you allow it enough room to expand.”

As Bowerbird lays down his pencil, one can’t help but ponder the term’s other meaning: that of fighting against an invisible opponent. In this case, the opponent is Simply Structures, the firm that designed and constructed The Park’s prognostication pad for over a decade.

At first, Bowerbird demurs when asked the question.

“I do realize that we will be judged not only on our own product, but by comparison with the products of previous years,” he says matter-of-factly.

Then, as he lets his guard down, you can see the source of the “Groundhog Day nerves” he mentions often during the interview.

“I believe we won the contract on merit. I also believe it was time to inject some new blood into the celebrations. I hope our work will be appreciated and that, in the end, we will have contributed something valuable and memorable to what is undeniably one of the most important events in The Park,” he says.

But Bowerbird admits that the past decade is a tough act to follow.

“The experience alone is invaluable,” he says in an admiring tone. “Seeing what works and what doesn’t, in a practical way. Years of going back to the drawing board, years of attempting to outdo yourself … the value of that can’t be underestimated, both in knowledge and creativity.”

Still, Bowerbird was the first at his company to suggest that they bid for the job.

“As I said, new blood. And we have a different sensibility here. Less down to earth … more ethereal. And we’ve chosen a mix of bright, celebratory colours. We tried very hard to maintain the sense of the occasion while injecting a sense of occasion, if you know what I mean. A nod to tradition, and then a pop of surprise,” he says, with a wink.

And those Groundhog Day nerves?

“I haven’t slept for the past month, but I’m sure it will be worth it in the end.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Groundhog Day/POPS Election and Prediction, Interviews, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Groundhog Day, prognostication

Gunnar Rotte to break silence this week on Yannis Tavros’s radio show

January 27, 2015 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

YannisTavros After almost two months of relentless criticism, scrutiny, and defamation, Gunnar Rotte will break his silence in an interview this week with radio host Yannis Tavros on Toro Talk Radio.

The Rodent Commoner reporter confirmed through his representative this morning that he has accepted an invitation from Tavros to “tell his story” in a live interview.

“After a period of serious consideration, Gunnar Rotte felt it was time for him to speak for himself and, perhaps, change some minds about the reality of Animal life in The Park. Rotte feels very strongly that he has been misrepresented and he would like to set the record straight on a number of things,” the representative’s statement says.

The interview has not yet been scheduled, but media and advertising experts say it will prove a windfall for the station.

“It’s a big get and I don’t know how he got it, but kudos to him,” said J.J. Chanticleer, manager of CLucK Radio.

Although seen as controversial and extremely hot-headed, Tavros has offered his show as a forum on a number of occasions to allow others to tell their story, starting with The Cynics in April of 2010.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life Tagged With: prejudice, radio interview, talk radio

Gunnar Rotte: We are very sorry

January 26, 2015 By TMD Managing Editor Orphea Haas

SorryDear Gunnar Espen Rotte:

After the backlash of the past weeks, our editors have had to look deep into their hearts, and in a number of areas, they’ve found themselves wanting.

Two weeks ago, we published a photo of you holding two pies that you bought at a bakery outside The Park. The article we published was about your claim that you’d been assaulted during the course of purchasing the pies. Alongside the article, we ran a photo of you holding the pies.

As you and your supporters have pointed out to us for the past ten days, we made a grievous error when we chose the photo. Although it was never our intention to do so, when we used that photograph, we made you look like a happy pie thief rather than as a customer who had suffered maltreatment.

We were wrong. Now, we would like to make it right.

Please accept our sincere apology. We should have given more time and thought to our choice of image. It was a hasty decision made by editors who work on a strict deadline, but that is neither a reason nor an excuse.

The Mammalian Daily takes its rôle seriously. Our duty is to present — and to represent — the story accurately. On this occasion, however, we failed to do the latter and that failure caused harm to you. We are very sorry.

In the next few weeks, we will be holding a series of meetings with our reporting and editorial staff to discuss the ways in which we can avoid repeating this mistake. We would like to take this opportunity to invite you to join us and to help us understand better the position of those whose stories we tell in our newspaper.

But, for now, we hope you will accept our sincere apology.

Sincerely,
Orphea Haas
Managing Editor
The Mammalian Daily

Filed Under: Breaking News, Economy and Business, Media, Park Life Tagged With: newspaper apology

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