Wednesday Rewind
Original publication date: 4 September 2014
Hibernation and estivation are good for The Park’s economy, according to a report released today by the Park Association of Shops and Services (PASS).
PASS released the report less than two weeks before our estivating population is scheduled to return to full participation in Park life.
“The timing is not insignificant,” said Wellington Whistlepig, president of the Association.
“They’re a beleaguered bunch [estivators] and we thought we could use the findings in this report to offer them a proper welcome back to life.”
Whistlepig, who is himself a hibernator, said the last few years have been difficult for Park Animals who hibernate or estivate.
“We and our way of life have been under siege for a number of years, ever since the economic downturn, in fact,” he says. “There seems to be less tolerance these days for the differences among us.”
That was the one of the main reasons that PASS decided to commission a report on the subject.
“Some of our numbers were used in another report that was released in the Spring. It showed some gains in the fourth quarter of 2013 which were attributed to the delay in the official hibernation date and that led to the conclusion that hibernation was a drag on the economy.
As Association president, I felt that our numbers had been misconstrued, so I asked for a full accounting from our members. They were very enthusiastic in their agreement to participate,” he says.
Whistlepig says the new report, which analyzes figures from 2008-2013, demonstrates definitively that hibernation benefits The Park’s economy.
“First of all, it creates jobs on a regular basis. Every job a hibernator or estimator holds has two Animals performing it,” Whistlepig says.
“Now, to those who consider that a drag on the economy, we say ‘think again.’ That’s two Animals who have currency to spend in our shops and for our services. And one of those two Animals needs to prepare for say, hibernation, before and after. Those are purchases that wouldn’t be made, otherwise. There are shops that cater to hibernators and estivators and they wouldn’t exist without those customers,” he contends.
Whistlepig says our hibernating and estivating citizens should be seen for what they are: a stimulating presence, both economically and culturally.
“We hope this report puts this foolishness to rest,” he says.
The Association’s full report will be made available to the public next week.
“Bigger” and “better” were the words most often uttered this morning as Beasts of Burden lead singer Alfredo Ox announced the lineup for the fourth annual Beats of Burden Music Festival.
If controversy is a predictor of success, then award-winning director G.D Zebra’s WINK is set to be the most successful opening film ever at The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).
For the past two years, it’s been the beats before the Beats but from now on the open mic evening at The Draft will officially be known as “Beats in the Bar.”
The Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is one of our most popular annual events. Yet, very little is known about its inner workings: the behind-the-scenes triumphs and tragedies, the disasters or even near-misses, and the antagonism, jealousy, and pettiness that play a part in The Park’s most cutthroat film industry.
The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on some of what’s in store for September 2016.
It’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!
Millicent Hayberry “seriously considering” POPS bid: rumour
