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Avian Messenger’s Tinamou takes leave of absence for “personal reasons”

September 8, 2016 By Juho Morsk, TMD Media Reporter

A month after Alvin Tinamou’s empty nest was discovered outside The Park, The Avian Messenger has confirmed that he has decided to take an “extended leave of absence” from his rôle as publisher of The Park’s most trusted Avian newspaper.

Avian Messenger front page

In a statement that was part announcement, part biography, and part tribute, the newspaper’s managing editor Fiorentina D’Aquila wrote that it was “with deep sadness and profound regret” that the paper made the announcement.

Writing eloquently and with obvious sympathy for Tinamou, D’Aquila called her publisher “beloved by staff and readers alike” and quoted colleagues who attested to his commitment to journalistic integrity and to The Park’s Avian community.

“Most of what I’ve learned has come from my working for and with Alvin Tinamou. My interactions with him never failed to teach me something or to broaden my view. I will be forever grateful to him and I wish him only the best at this most challenging time in his life,” D’Aquila quoted Editor-in-Chief Donatella Falcon as saying. Falcon will replace Tinamou for the duration of his leave.

Though Tinamou was not quoted in the piece, it was confirmed that he cited “personal reasons” for his decision. Those personal reasons no doubt arose from the theft of his nest in June and its subsequent discovery—minus the eggs—last month.

Tinamou has remained silent about the tragedy, but those close to him say it has taken a great toll on him and his mate Adela.

“Alvin has suffered terribly from this loss. He needs some time to rest, to be with Adela, and to process what has happened. They have both been in shock for months,” his cousin Augustus told The Mammalian Daily.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Media, Park Life, Whoa! Braking News Tagged With: Alvin Tinamou, eggs stolen, nest theft, The Avian Messenger

Third time’s a charm as Open Mic at The Draft becomes “Beats in the Bar”

September 6, 2016 By Fiona Lupu, TMD Events Reporter

Draft with borderFor the past two years, it’s been the beats before the Beats but from now on the open mic evening at The Draft will officially be known as “Beats in the Bar.”

“They say the third time’s a charm and we think so too,” the Beasts of Burden posted yesterday on their GooseBook page. The post also confirmed that the Beats in the Bar will officially become an annual event.

“The Department [of Holidays, Festival, and Celebrations] has put it on The Park’s official calendar and so should you,” the Beasts’ lead singer Alfredo Ox told Toro Talk Radio host Yannis Tavros yesterday afternoon.

And he emphasized that “the name has changed, but its purpose hasn’t.”

“We’re still looking for raw talent, unknown artists, and new beats. We still want to showcase the best of the pre-fest at our main event. So, come on out and show us what you’ve got,” he said.

In its short history, the open mic evening has become one of The Park’s biggest talent searches. But it didn’t start out that way, the Beasts’ manager Ignatius Herder says.

According to Herder, the open mic night was originally conceived as a way to “warm up” Park residents in advance of the Beats of Burden Music Festival, which was new and not very well known.

“So Alfredo put out the call to Park musicians and we thought we’d get what would amount to a pre-show, but we couldn’t have been more wrong,” Herder says. “These young, talented, untested musicians came in and blew the whole thing wide open.”

Since then, not only has the evening become a showcase for new talent, but Ox himself has become the  mentor of five young artists.

“That was a total surprise,” Alfredo Ox told The Mammalian Daily last year. “Mentoring was the last thing on our minds when we started this thing.”

The rules for this year’s event are the same as last year: those who wish to play or sing are asked to add their names to a list that will be posted outside The Draft tomorrow morning.

“Whether or not you perform, you will be a great time,” Herder says. “But come prepared to stay out all night.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Beats in the Bar, Beats of Burden, beats of burden music festival, The Draft

Introducing PIFF Piffle: relevant irrelevancies about our annual film fest

September 2, 2016 By TMD Managing Editor Orphea Haas

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is one of our most popular annual events. Yet, very little is known about its inner workings: the behind-the-scenes triumphs and tragedies, the disasters or even near-misses, and the antagonism, jealousy, and pettiness that play a part in The Park’s most cutthroat film industry.

But that is all about to change this year.

As a celebration of the festival’s twelfth year and in recognition of the maturation of the industry over the past decade and the value of film in Park life, The Mammalian Daily has given a new assignment to our official PIFF reporter, Aivis Burunduks. From now until the end of the festival, Burunduks will be reporting from behind the camera, behind the curtain, and behind the press conference. He’ll show you what goes into making a PIFF-worthy film and how that film makes it into the festival. He’ll expose the messy machinations of the industry and introduce you to the fire-breathing producers and the pandering publicists.

So, take a seat while we take you on a whirlwind tour of the second-greatest show in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, PIFF, PIFF Piffle Tagged With: behind the scenes at PIFF, inside information, Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF, PIFF gossip

September on our minds

September 1, 2016 By TMD Reporters

The Park is a busy place in the Autumn, so The Mammalian Daily is giving you a heads-up on some of what’s in store for September 2016.

Ready, set, mark your calendars!

Official end of estivation

End of EstivationMouse and balloonsIt’s time to welcome back our friends and fellow Park residents!

Let the celebrations begin on September 14!

 

The Beats of Burden Music Festival

Beats of Burden logo

The third annual Beats of Burden Music Festival promises three days and three nights of continuous music-making, with all our great bands and singers performing in aid of The Park’s refugees. Expect some surprises (as well as surprise appearances) along with the great sounds. And don’t forget the fabulous food and all sorts of other fun. September 16-18.


The Park’s Semi-Annual “Shakeoff”

The Park's semi-annual "Shake for Charity" have changed

It’s all about Animals helping Animals at The Park’s semi-annual “Shakeoff.” The event encourages Animals to donate their hair in aid of those whose coats can’t protect them from the harsh elements. In addition to helping others, you can also partake of free refreshments and get a new hairstyle from our on-site groomers (gratis, of course!). September 27
“If you have a coat, share it with those who don’t.”  

Filed Under: Breaking News

August, August: What a busy month!

August 31, 2016 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

cowcoffeeMillicent Hayberry “seriously considering” POPS bid: rumour

Cackling Goose coalition asks: Would we be safer without sod?

Park ART Walk 2016 partners with EQUALSS charity to celebrate the work of the striped and spotted

Tinamou nest found outside Park; eggs replaced with Bailey’s Ball

Gunnar Rotte tweets, then takes his case to the Archons

Weekend shocker: Gossip site says Rapper’s father is also his brother

A peek at Holstein Fashion’s “Creations from the EDAM Collection”

Cosmopolitan Pest Magazine poll finds PFO head Abeja liked, well-respected

Budget 2017: A year when words mean more than numbers

UWT group to Rotte: Learn how to do social experiments or leave them to us

PIFF 2016 sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

Belles and Whistles to join lineup at Beats of Burden festival in September

PFO head Valentina Abeja: “Don’t hesitate! Pollinate!”

Park citizens not as politically savvy as in previous decades: UWT study

Filed Under: Breaking News

Park citizens not as politically savvy as in previous decades: UWT study

August 30, 2016 By Sigrún Maur, TMD Political Affairs Reporter

CLueless

A new study out of the University of West Terrier’s Barnaby School of Government concludes that Park citizens are not as politically savvy as they were in previous decades.

Entitled, “Clueless,” the study, which will be published in the October issue of the Park Journal of Politics and Government (PJPG), found that a large number of Park citizens have virtually no knowledge of our system of government or its origins.

“Without being unnecessarily harsh, I think this shows what many of us have felt: that too many of our citizens—of all generations—have been lulled into a false sense of security and do not feel the need to engage politically,” says Delia Quagga, the author of the study and the School’s head.

According to Quagga’s research, that sense of security is particularly strong among those who were born into zoocracy at a time of relative peace among the species.

“They’ve always lived under peaceful Animal self-rule. They seem to believe that the battle has been fought and won forever. And that makes them extremely vulnerable,” Quagga contends.

The study also found that many Park citizens feel free to engage in stereotyping, primarily because they don’t remember a time when such behaviour posed a danger to peace.

“All of this underscores the need for us to communicate more effectively about history and politics,” Quagga says. “We mustn’t allow a situation in which Park citizens take anything for granted.”

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: citizen engagement, government, history, politics, sortition

PIFF 2016 sneak peek: Noon Nuttiness

August 29, 2016 By Aednat Eilifint, TMD Arts and Entertainment Reporter

Park Interspecial Film FestivalThe Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF) is a little more than a month away and today, we got a sneak peek at what’s going to tickle our funny bones come October.

At a short press conference this morning, PIFF Communications President Leola Ocelot announced two of the films that will screen during the Noon Nuttiness portion of PIFF 2016:

AS I LIVE AND BREED: A NATURAL BUNNY’S HOME VIDEOS
Directed by Ilona Pupu
The Park | 20 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première

Comedienne Ilona Pupu, who regularly makes fun of the ability of her species to produce what she calls, “three generations, no waiting,” directs and stars in this sendup of the life of a “natural bunny.”

With candid clips from her own life (and birthing) and actors standing in for her relatives and friends, Pupu pokes fun at her species without entirely spearing it. “Education? Who has time!” she declares as she nurses one litter while birthing another. One of the funniest parts of this film shows three of the four seasons go by in the background as Pupu’s niece Veera gives birth. Over and over again.

I AM GEOFFREY’S CAT: MY HILAIREIOUS SEARCH FOR AN INDEPENDENT IDENTITY
Directed by Carlos Geraldo Gato de León
The Park | 22 minutes | Noon Nuttiness Première

How are you supposed to have an independent identity when the Human boy you live with has the same name as your breed?

That is just one of the questions this Noon Nuttiness selection poses. But if that sounds too serious for you, don’t worry: this short film will have you in stitches as you watch the confusion mount. The star, who is also the director’s cousin, has a wicked sense of humour, which he loves to turn on his Human victims.

The title, by the way, invokes the name of the Human, Geoffrey St. Hilaire, after whom the star’s breed is named.


The Park Interspecial Film Festival runs 1-5 October 2016.

Glass shape made of nuts with strawNoon Nuttiness gratefully acknowledges the support of The Nut Bar, the most trusted nut shop in The Park.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, PIFF, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: Noon Nuttiness, Park Interspecial Film Festival, PIFF

Belles and Whistles to join lineup at Beats of Burden festival in September

August 27, 2016 By Johan Slon, TMD Music Reporter

Beats of Burden logoThe Park’s newest singing duo, Belles and Whistles, confirmed today that they will be performing at this year’s Beats of Burden music festival in September.

The duo, who were secretly mentored by Thisbe and the Barkettes, made their début on June 30 at the Concert for Charity in honour of Enforced Domestication Awareness Month (EDAM). Since then, their manager Retriikka Spanieli says, they’ve been working on producing their first collection of songs, which they describe as “an eclectic mix.”

“The duo has an amazing range and an ability to perform in a multitude of genres,” Spanieli told The Mammalian Daily in a telephone interview.

According to Spanieli, the duo’s main goal at the moment is to convince audiences that they are their own musicians, and not an extension of the Barkettes.

“They love the Barkettes, as we all do, but they have an identity of their own and ambitions beyond becoming a carbon copy of The Park’s most successful singing group,” Spanieli said.

The Beats of Burden Music Festival takes place in The Park September 16-18, 2016.

 

Filed Under: Breaking News, Park Life, The Arts, Entertainment, and Culture Tagged With: beats of burden music festival, Belles and Whistles, Thisbe and the Barkettes

Starting in September, join us for our weekly Wednesday Rewind!

August 24, 2016 By Imko Oaljefanta, TMD Archivist

ПечатьAs of September, visitors to The Mammalian Daily’s main web site will be able to enjoy our Wednesday Rewind along with our Facebook and Twitter followers.

Every Wednesday, we’ll post an article from a bygone era. You’ll know it’s a Wednesday Rewind article when you see the symbol on this article.

So, enjoy your weekly blast from the past, compliments of The Mammalian Daily’s chief archivist. See you in September!

Filed Under: Breaking News, Wednesday Rewind Tagged With: Blast from the past, mammalian daily archives, wednesday rewind

UWT group to Rotte: Learn how to do social experiments or leave them to us

August 22, 2016 By Marikit Kuneho, TMD Park Life Reporter

UWT COAT

As Gunnar Rotte ended his sojourn at The Park Jail on Friday, a group of University of West Terrier professors was joining forces to lecture The Rodent Commoner journalist on the ethics of conducting his so-called social experiment.

Rotte, who was arrested for disturbing the peace and jailed for inciting violence at The Park’s Stereotype Sunday on August 14, was freed on bail on Friday. He claims that he attended the event dressed as a Skunk as part of a “social experiment” to determine which Animal’s life was easier: that of a Rat or that of a Skunk.

The reporter, who began a second career last November as a counsellor at The Park’s Extinction Anxiety Clinic, rose to fame in December 2014, when he published an editorial contending that his own species suffered more but received far less sympathy than striped and spotted Animals. Since then, he has made it part of his mission to enlighten Park citizenry about the lives of Rats and other Rodents.

But the UWT group, which includes Chief of Research at the UWT Medical College Simone Gibbon, psychologist Hume. T. Goat, Milada J. Goose, head of the Honking Hollow Laboratory, and Magnus P. Marmoset, who holds the Simian Chair in Political Philosophy, among others, thinks Rotte should go back to school first and learn how to conduct an experiment properly. Or, better yet, leave the social experiments to them.

In a statement released this morning, the group praises Rotte for his passion, but calls on him to leave the academic studies to those who know how to conduct them.

“While we understand your passion and your position, we implore you to think twice before embarking on something that could benefit few, but hurt many,” the statement concludes.

Rotte has not commented on the group’s statement as of yet.

Filed Under: Breaking News, Education, Park Life, Politics/Law/Crime Tagged With: Gunnar Rotte, Skunks vs Rats, social experiments, University of West Terrier

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